Pressured to Commit

I sat at a summer league game and heard a JuCo coach do the very same thing....extremely odd as their signing date wasn't until February (almost 6 months away).

Is it your son's Dream School asking (demanding!)? And what are they offering?

Is it your son's Dream School asking (demanding!)? And what are they offering?[/QUOTE]

Yes, it is his Dream School. But, they aren't offering much compared to the other smaller D-I schools. However, I believe it is what they offer all in state students. I just found it odd that they would do this. Could it be that he isn't that important to them and they want to move on to someone else quickly?

HowUbe, I would do a little research and find out what other players have gotten and see how that compares with what they are offering him. What do they normally offer top recruits?However, if it's his dream school how much does it matter?

I advised my son to go to where he was going to get the best education and where they wanted him the most. His dream school wanted him but not as much as the school he is attending. He knows he made the right choice and is very happy.

For me, his decision saved me alot of money. But I never let him know that was an issue.

first of all the college in question is not just recruiting your kid, likley 5 other guys at his position, 1st one to verbal gets the money. If you like the college verbal and get that over with and relax.

Hurry up and make a decision so they can call the next guy on the list! (It might be my son) LOL
I think there are lots of kids sitting on multiple offers and the schools can't wait forever. If the kid decides late, 4 schools are left with money and no recruits.

You might need to call the other schools he is looking at and explain that you need to make a decision and see what happens. They may speed it up or tell you to move on.

Drivel--

Why do you post about what you nothing about--stop misleading everyone---in your mind you are fine--in the real world you have problem finding a rest room in a stadium even if both are marked mens!!!!

quote:

Originally posted by HowUbe:
Could it be that he isn't that important to them and they want to move on to someone else quickly?

I doubt thats the case. They almost surely recruit the kids they want the most first...but there comes a certain point (and now is about that point for some) where they must move on if he isn't going to go there. Think about the job they have to do...they cannot be left empty-handed and if they wait too long, that is what could happen to them.

Its frustrating as a parent/recruit to have this happen, but its not uncommon. If he wants to go there and you can afford it with their offer, take it. If a little more makes it affordable, ask, but be ready to be told 'no.' If the offer is a long way off, tell them that too, but really be ready to move on.

As for pressure--- unless the player is certain in his mind, AND I DO MEAN CERTAIN IN HIS OWN MIND, he makes no decision and
agreement

I am going thru this right now with one of our players--- many hours of talk this weekend--I am sure he weill do what is right for he and his family.

It is not what you want, it is what they, colleges, need and want--folks take off the "MY SON MY SON" glasses--now is when it gets real !!! AND I MEAN VERY REAL !!!

Bubbles do Burst!

quote:

Originally posted by grandslamfan:
Hurry up and make a decision so they can call the next guy on the list! (It might be my son) LOL
I think there are lots of kids sitting on multiple offers and the schools can't wait forever. If the kid decides late, 4 schools are left with money and no recruits.

You might need to call the other schools he is looking at and explain that you need to make a decision and see what happens. They may speed it up or tell you to move on.

The early signing date here isn't until Nov. I didn't think he was "late" in making a decision, but then we don't have a clue about any of this. We had been told to go visit each school & see what they had to offer then make a decision. But, this school isn't even offering a visit. Is this a trait at most large schools?

1. Ask them for a visit...they're only allowed to host 25, their answer may tell you what you want to know.

2. Many players have already committed, many have not. Colleges try to lock up their top recruits as early as possible. Its part of the process.

If you are saying your son has not even visited this school, I would suggest proceeding with caution unless this is a school and staff that you feel comfortable with and have done the diligence to know that this is not a "shot in the dark" decision.
The fact that he is getting an offer at this point means they value him as a player. To the extent this is a school, program and coaching staff well known to you, and it is a program and school he likes, then you face a tough decision but not an unusual one.
If your son does not have a good familiarity with the school/coaches,has not visited, not met his future teammates(potential), not visited classes and met an advisor/teacher and means you and he may be lacking in pretty critical elements necessary to making good choices.

I guess the school must have already schedule their “25” limit visits for this year.

Well, we told him it is his decision. I just hope he doesn’t end up regretting it somewhere down the line.

HowUBe - If they don't want to offer him an official visit - have they suggested an unofficial visit. Are they aware he's never been there before? Coaches want answers, but they usually want a kid to want to come to their school - meaning they want the kid to have all the facts. A good coach doesn't want kids that will transfer out in a year. Your son doesn't want to be a part of a program like that either. You need to do some more research on that school. IMO

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
Drivel--

Why do you post about what you nothing about--stop misleading everyone---in your mind you are fine--in the real world you have problem finding a rest room in a stadium even if both are marked mens!!!!

I don't know which is getting to be worse. Dibble's off the wall posts, are the continual personal attacks that follow his posts. Is that really necessary? What about just letting it go by? You have good things to contribute, you shouldn't feel obligated to respond to each of his posts in that manner.

Just a thought.

PDiddy,

Grab a seat.

Just from the previous posts it MAY seem the pressure college may not be offering what you think your son deserves. I like to think this puts you in an unique situation. When the coach calls again a possible question to him could be.. "Coach So and so, My son is thrilled to come play for you, yet he does not have a job. We have spent alot of money to get our son to the high level you have come to appreciate. Is there any money left say 10-15% more so we can jump at this? (THEN DO NOT SAY A WORD I DONT CARE IF IT TAKES 30-45 minutes before he breaks the silence) If he says why yes i can get you 10% more if you sign now. You can say ok let me talk to my son and my spouse and we will call you back. You can pick up the phone and work out the other interests. Then you can make a decision if this is right for you and your family. If he says sorry we have no extra money at all. You can still state ok let us get back to you we have to figure out our finances. The beauty of this situation is you still have say 20-25% (for example) no matter what. You haven't given an answer yet and you now know where you stand with the school.

Best of luck I know it is very stressful and hard.

My Two Cents

Texan

I do not think you want to go there, if you get my drift !!!

At least I know who he is and what I am dealing with--

I wish you would stop trying to lecture me-- you wont change me--

quote:

Originally posted by penja:
Just from the previous posts it MAY seem the pressure college may not be offering what you think your son deserves. I like to think this puts you in an unique situation. When the coach calls again a possible question to him could be.. "Coach So and so, My son is thrilled to come play for you, yet he does not have a job. We have spent alot of money to get our son to the high level you have come to appreciate. Is there any money left say 10-15% more so we can jump at this? (THEN DO NOT SAY A WORD I DONT CARE IF IT TAKES 30-45 minutes before he breaks the silence) If he says why yes i can get you 10% more if you sign now. You can say ok let me talk to my son and my spouse and we will call you back. You can pick up the phone and work out the other interests. Then you can make a decision if this is right for you and your family. If he says sorry we have no extra money at all. You can still state ok let us get back to you we have to figure out our finances. The beauty of this situation is you still have say 20-25% (for example) no matter what. You haven't given an answer yet and you now know where you stand with the school.

Best of luck I know it is very stressful and hard.

My Two Cents

Penja, it is not that I think my son is worth more, but he will have to get more student-loans to make it. He could go to other schools that cost less and that will offer more financial assistance.

Then, he will probably be red-shirted his freshman year at the larger school and I am afraid he may get lost in the numbers. Kids always want to go to the big schools, but they don’t understand there will be a LOT of kids all just as good if not better trying for the same position. Then, there are grades to consider. I have to wonder if he will be able to keep his grades up at a more academically challenging school. I am starting to think that JUCO may be a better alternative for him. He will probably play for the next two years and if he is good enough a four-year school will pick him up.

But, then if I encourage him to not to commit to this school and may not get another chance. I don’t want him to look back years from now and regret not following his heart. I think that sometimes as a parent you just have to let these kids make their own mistakes. But, it sure is hard.

Thanks for the advice though, it is something to think about.

HowUbe:

Some of the answers you seek are available through the baseball program's players and parents; a number of whom ought to be available by phone, e-mail, or "private messages" such as the ones provided by this website. Seek them out for their counsel.

Regardless of how your son goes about getting the information he needs to make a decision, my principal advice to him would be to do his best to choose a college where he'd be happy if he stopped playing baseball during his time there.

Best of luck to him!

HowUBe, You remind me of myself this time last year. There's a lot of stress involved in that whole process - or at least I thought so. I just have a bit of advice for you. He doesn't need to commit to anyone if he/you aren't sure. If there are offers now, they'll be offers after November IMO. I can assure you the well doesn't dry up in November.

How...Prepster is giving good advice.

Make sure son is making an informed decision and that that is the school he wants to attend if baseball was not in the picture.

I would tell the coach, respectfully, that I owe it to all of the other coaches that have offered scholarships to visit the school and the team.

There is a school here in Florida that recruits with pressure.

What they do is tell a player they have a few hours to make a decision or they will go to the next person on the list. The offer is usually only a book scholarship for $500.

Then the coach calls the next player on the list anyway. He offers him the same scholarship offer. If they both come great for the school because they have only invested $1,000 in two good players. This keeps the top players from going to other schools and beating them later.

When your son goes to the school in the fall he'll see five or six kids at his position that have been promised what he has been promised.

In the above school's case the players that receive more than books are the ones that play. The above school has almost as many baseball players that are scholarships (books mostly) and preferred walkons than the football team.

If they truly want your son make sure a school like that pays more than a minimal scholarship dollar.

Just MHO

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
Texan
I wish you would stop trying to lecture me-- you wont change me--

You wish I would "stop trying" to lecture you? Didn't realize that I had been doing so before, but heck I may well have forgotten.

And no, I don't believe I do get your drift. But that doesn't really concern me.

quote:

Originally posted by Florida Baseball Guy:
There is a school here in Florida that recruits with pressure.

What they do is tell a player they have a few hours to make a decision or they will go to the next person on the list. The offer is usually only a book scholarship for $500.

Then the coach calls the next player on the list anyway. He offers him the same scholarship offer. If they both come great for the school because they have only invested $1,000 in two good players. This keeps the top players from going to other schools and beating them later.

When your son goes to the school in the fall he'll see five or six kids at his position that have been promised what he has been promised.

In the above school's case the players that receive more than books are the ones that play. The above school has almost as many baseball players that are scholarships (books mostly) and preferred walkons than the football team.

If they truly want your son make sure a school like that pays more than a minimal scholarship dollar.

Just MHO

Florida, I think you may be correct. That is almost word for word what we have been told. The coach for this school doesn’t want him to end up on a team that will someday beat him.

I guess I am going to have to try and talk some sense into this kid, but it isn’t going to be easy. My son believes he can play there, but like many have said it could be that all the recruiting is just going to his head. That is why I am thinking maybe if he goes to a Junior College it will give him some time to grow up. He has been told by a few coaches that he has the “tools” to make it all the way. This came from coaches we trust and that aren’t recruiting him. There is also the possibility that he may get drafted. This could be something else that is going to his head.

I don’t know how to send “private messages” or who I would send them to. As you can see I am new to posting here. I had started reading the articles on this site when I realized that my son was going to be recruited. I only posted here now, because I am extremely worried my son is about to make a huge mistake. This school also has a large fan base here and a couple of people we know locally have been talking to us.

coach's recruiting pressure and boosters recruiting pressure - yikes -
don't walk way from that one


. RUN!

HowUBe,

Call me at 352-365-6130

How, to send a private message, just click on the poster's name and a menu will appear, one of which is 'invite X to a private topic'. Perhaps there's a poster who uses the school-in-question's logo or has refered to that school in posts. If not, do a search on the school's name and team name to find parents who have talked about that school.

Starting a topic in the appropriate state or region's board at the bottom of the list of topics might also help. If you're concerned about putting too much info out there about your son, PM another webster for them to ask about that school.

There have been a number of threads here regarding JuCo's and your assessment of them is correct. In discussion with your son, remind him that he is eligible for the draft each June if he starts at a JuCo.

Google the school's team name, roster, players, however many ways you can think of to try to see how much variance in the roster there is from one year to the next to give you some clues to how many guys either are cut or who leave on their own. Check stats to see how much freshmen and sophs play. If your son is a position player, the stats will also tell you who (and what year) currently starts there. This info might ease your mind, or sharing it with your son might help balance his view.

The boys who go on to play in college dominated their hs teams, many dominated their travel teams as well. It's tough for them to remember that that is the case for pretty much all their new college teammates....including guys several years older and with those additional years experience.

And talking about this with our sons takes a lot of diplomacy, love, patience....and occasionally a sedative....each....

I am with Justbaseball on this. While I don't like the pressure that coach's place on recruits, there comes a time when the coach needs to move on and needs an answer. Yes signing isn't until Nov, the big schools want commitments NOW. They have 25 to invite, seems like alot to us, but they want to know that they are a viable 25, not someone wasting their time and in many cases, they don't even offer but a few. Those would go to the ones high on their wish list that have not commited. I hear more and more that official visits are not offered by some schools until you verbally committ. That is why they haven't offered a visit, and I doubt one should accept any offer if no one is offering a visit.
Dream school, yes, dream situation, no.
I realize that you are new to this site and have come seeking advice. My advice, go to the schools that have offered visits, ones who seem to be really interested in your son, not a school who needs an extra on the roster.

If it is an instate school, isn't your son entitled to instate tuition? That may be why they are offering very little. If your answer is no because he didn't make the grade requirements, then that is a definite signal that a smaller school or JUCO may be in your son's best interest.

Wasn't the official visit supposed to be so that the prospective student-athlete can see the school and make an educated decision? Or is it the carrot to get the young man to verbal early?

IMHO it would be better to buy a ticket to a football game than to sell your future just to get an official visit. Sitting the bench for four years - even at the "dream school" - gets old. Playing is a lot more fun.

The reality for many top recruits now is that they are given very good offers early, but since they are "very good" offers, there is pressure to commit early too. That is, before school is in session and official visits are allowed. The school cannot hang on to "good money" until a November decision unless its a sure thing.

Many of the top recruits that I have known over the last few years are getting in-home visits from the coaches during the summer and take an "unofficial" visit (if they can afford too) before school starts...and if all goes well, they commit. Some then take their "official" visit to the school they committed too later in the Fall. This is becoming common I believe.

It may not apply to HowUbe's situation...I don't know. From the sound of it in his last few posts, I understand his reason for concern.

Florida, thanks for the offer to call, but I don't feel comfortable doing that at this time.

My son is only being offered books at the larger school. I think the problem with his being recruited with them is that they didn't know about him till too late. He goes to a very small school that even people in the area had never heard of. He was recruited by some of the smaller schools because of "word of mouth" by their own players. The big school's interest did not even come into play until he played on a summer team and got a lot of serious attention just prior to his senior year.

I want to thank everyone for his or her advice and opinions. It really has helped me to realize that this school is probably not as interested as I would like. And, since he is not 100% sure of any of the other schools, it may not be a good idea to get into a 4-year contract.

How, you are aware that it's not a four year contract, but one year renewable?

quote:

Originally posted by Orlando:
How, you are aware that it's not a four year contract, but one year renewable?

So, are you saying if he goes to a 4-year school he could leave at the end of each year? But, he wouldn't be able to go to another school in the same conference without sitting out a year, right? I didn’t think 4-year schools recruited each other?

The commitment is not held to the 4 years, on either part. The NLI means that your son cannot play for another NCAA division school the first year and stops the recruiting process. They can ask the player at anytime to leave, just as at anytime the player can leave, after the first year. They can also ask the
player to leave after the first semester.

If one signs an NLI, one can always change their mind and go to a JUCO come next fall.

Transferring within the same conference is usually not granted by the NCAA, and in many cases even if you transfer out of conference you might have to sit out.

You need to do your homework before any decision is made.

I'm sure someone with experience will chime in, but I believe there is paperwork with the AD involved transferring from one 4 year to another in a different conference to avoid the sitting-out problem.

Although 4 years can't actively "recruit" (read: steal) each other's players, there will still be some co-operation between coaches should a player need to transfer. You do need to know the rules.

You can transfer to a JuCo pretty much at any time the first two years, though, if it is apparent the 4 year chosen isn't working out for a variety of reasons.

Penja, it is not that I think my son is worth more, but he will have to get more student-loans to make it. He could go to other schools that cost less and that will offer more financial assistance.

Then, he will probably be red-shirted his freshman year at the larger school and I am afraid he may get lost in the numbers. Kids always want to go to the big schools, but they don’t understand there will be a LOT of kids all just as good if not better trying for the same position. Then, there are grades to consider. I have to wonder if he will be able to keep his grades up at a more academically challenging school. I am starting to think that JUCO may be a better alternative for him. He will probably play for the next two years and if he is good enough a four-year school will pick him up.

But, then if I encourage him to not to commit to this school and may not get another chance. I don’t want him to look back years from now and regret not following his heart. I think that sometimes as a parent you just have to let these kids make their own mistakes. But, it sure is hard.

Thanks for the advice though, it is something to think about."


May I also add a little optimistic view. Lets say he has no scholarships, but he wants to go to this school real bad. Would you find a way to pay for his school? I think 90%+ would say yes. So if he gets some money for school then it would be an icing kinda thing. Just a food for thought kinda thing

HowUbe, the transfer rules can get complicated but I will try and provide just a brief simple explanation.
The NCAA allows a student/athlete to transfer, one time, without loss of eligiblity and to play immediately. To do that, you need to get a NCAA approved release from the school you are attending before you can talk with other programs governed by the NCAA and before any NCAA school can speak with you.
If you then attempt to transfer a second time, you must sit out for one year as we see with football/basketball players.
Transfering schools within a conference is not governed by the NCAA but is governed by the conferences. Some have a rule, others do not. Pretty sure the SEC, for example, does so you can transfer within SEC schools but you need to sit out for one year per the conference rule.

InfieldDad,
Thanks for the clarification on those rules.

Does anyone know what conferences you can transfer within, would be good to have that info.

quote:

I guess I am going to have to try and talk some sense into this kid, but it isn’t going to be easy. My son believes he can play there, but like many have said it could be that all the recruiting is just going to his head. That is why I am thinking maybe if he goes to a Junior College it will give him some time to grow up. He has been told by a few coaches that he has the “tools” to make it all the way.

Howub

Having the confidence to compete is helpful. He may well be able to compete at the highest levels as a freshman. Just know that he may get caught in the numbers game the first year or two. There are typically 40 to 50 kids that show up for fall ball at the state schools. 52 at my sons school right now. 14 redshirts last year, and he's at a mid-major.

Getting high pressured to sign for books is ridiculous in my opinion. A FBG says, it happens alot.

Good luck.