Its a scary word, one that a player fears hearing his entire career. You try to play pretending its something that can never happen, but in the back of your mind the possibility is always there. Well today that possibility became a reality to me. The day seemed normal, but for some reason as i walked into the clubhouse today i had a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, almost a sense of what was about to come, and as the clubby came up to me and said the bosses wanted to see me, i wanted to hope it was a normal meeting, but as i saw others walking around with pink slips i knew it wasnt so. As i walked into the office my heart was pounding and thats when i knew it was done. "The organization no longer has a spot for you, we have to give you your full release" One of the most chilling sentences i have ever heard in my life and one that i hope i never have to hear again. It was more of a shock than anything since you never think it will happen to you, and your almost trained to block it out. Strangely i dont think its hit me yet that im no longer employed in baseball, it probably will as i pack up my car and head towards home. However i am not yet ready to give up my pursuit of the dream that is baseball. Its still a great game that i love and my agent and i are working our butts off to try and find another team for me to hook up with this year. If worse comes to worse i'll pick up with an Independent league team and play my cards from there. Whatever the case i still have my spikes,glove and the will to continue on, hopefully that will be enough to get me through life from here on out. As for now im still blind to the fact i could never play again, until im sitting on my couch in Panama City Beach, FL in June i refuse to believe its over. Anyways, i dont really know the point of this post, but i kinda needed to tell someone what has happened besides just my friends and family, and i have also kept all of you informed on my life in baseball through the years and i figured i owed all of you an in depth look at the darker side of the game, as maybe this will help some of the younger players in the course of their baseball careers. As for me, i'm off to find another team, on another diamond somewhere, as i go to find my Field of Dreams!
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