Should I text my old coaches to tell them they were wrong?

My advice is seek counseling. You have a damaged psyche and low self esteem issues. There is absolutely no reason to even think about what those who said you couldn't do it think. Do you think you're the first person who has been told they couldn't accomplish something and did it?

 “Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.”

– Esther Lederer (aka Ann Landers)

In your case, they're getting a hell of a good deal.

Go reread all the responses from your posts a year ago.

http://community.hsbaseballweb...12#25088033994271312

"Let it go." " Prove your actions on the field."  " Be the better man."  All of that applies here.

The baseball community is a small one.  Whatever good you did WILL get back to the coach.  

Let it be (and delete those messages).  If you send them, you won't "see" how they respond at all.  It will put you  below his level.

This is interesting.......Obviously, you have some residual bad feelings about the way you were treated yet you persevered. Maybe the first e-mail/text you write should be to the coaches that treated you well and encouraged you. Tell them to continue to do that with kids they coach now and in the future. Perhaps you get more out of that and actually use your time to thank them instead of giving those that didn't believe in you or discouraged you the time of day.

Either way, good luck.

WCP

RJM posted:

My advice is seek counseling. You have a damaged psyche and low self esteem issues. There is absolutely no reason to even think about what those who said you couldn't do it think. Do you think you're the first person who has been told that couldn't accomplish something and did it?

I wasn't just told I wouldn't accomplish something. Complimented with those words were violent threats as well as racist remarks. Maybe not Jackie Robinson level, but it was pretty bad. Some things that are much personal that goes beyond the baseball field. I was humiliated. I was defeated. I was embarrassed. Why would I not want them to see what I did? It's my turn to be a champion for once. 

RJM posted:

My advice is seek counseling. You have a damaged psyche and low self esteem issues. There is absolutely no reason to even think about what those who said you couldn't do it think. Do you think you're the first person who has been told that couldn't accomplish something and did it?

And if I didn't think about them then I probably wouldn't have accomplished what I did? They were the driving factors. My only motivation was so I could send these text messages, and now I have a chance to today. I could honestly care less about where my playing career goes from here. These things were way too personal and angering to just "forget."

I grew up dealing with a lot of anti Semitic remarks. I tuned it out and focused on what I wanted to accomplish. I'm now in one of the world's smallest books, The List of Jewish Co-Captains of their High School Football Team. See, I have a sense of humor about the situation. I grew from what I dealt with. Which direction are you going to take?

Proving an old coach wrong is one thing.  Letting it bother you as much as it seems to is another.  You know he has issues.  Why would you let him drag you down to the level where you have issues too?  Be the better man.  Compete to the best of your ability to beat his team on the field (just like you would with any other opponent) and move on. 

 If he continues to say things to other people instead of directly to you, that just confirms he has issues.  Let him continue to prove who he is.  Be the better man.  Prove who you are. 

(Fly, I just cut and paste this from the last post when you were dealing with this issue - the link that Keewart copied.)

Maybe you just need talked down from the ledge again.  But, it is concerning that you still feel this strongly in such a negative way after you've already dealt with it emotionally and already had several people advise you otherwise.  I agree with RJM that you could benefit from professional help.  It's fine to carry the extra chip for motivation but something is way off if that is the PRIMARY reason you would continue to work toward baseball accomplishments.  You need to live life for yourself, not for the approval of others who clearly have plenty of their own issues.  Hopefully, you accomplished things because you love the game and the challenge of competition, first and foremost.  

I probably shouldn't say this but it might be OK to send that coach and others a note of thanks for adding to your motivation - but only if you can bring yourself to truly meaning to thank them and not to mock them.  Maybe this will give you closure.  I don't know.  I'm not an expert but I do think you should seek one out.  I am not saying that in a negative way.

In any case, congratulations on your accomplishment.  I hope that the next chapter in your life is both satisfying to you and helpful and inspiring to others.

Is this guy for real or some kind of troll?  The whole thing sound kind of fishy to me.

What does "fishy" sound like?  Maybe smells kind of "fishy?"  But I'm not smelling anything here.  Technically, I'm not hearing any sounds either.  Just reading text.  

Whatever, the OP seems to be pulling our leg.  

Wait.  Do we only have one leg?  Would it be legs?  I've never heard, "Pulling our legs."  

I'm digressing again.  The guy seems like he's not on the "Up and Up."

"Up and Up"?  Where in the world does that come from?  Does it make anymore sense than being on the "Up and Down"?...  Or maybe the "Side to Side"?

Flyemerites7, your question, "Is this the right thing to do or no?"

No, son, it is NOT! You need to listen to this wise old lady like I was your granny! 

By sending that person texts or an email, you'd be relighting the fire that burned you years ago...But those scars have healed, and are now symbols of freedom from pain. Be ever thankful for the Grace that brought you through & guides you today. 

Your true significance...and your accomplishments....are YOURS to cherish, relish & build upon. Look in the mirror & say, "I did it!" That, Flyemerites7 is the ONLY thing that matters! YOU DID IT!  Don't ever let anyone or anything steal your dreams!

Your accomplishment has said it all. Enough said!

Trust me, they'll find out.....if they are as bad as you say they were, they're probably following you every step of the way to see if you did end up failing.  They probably already know what you accomplished.  As someone else said....email all the "good ones" and thank them.  Odds are they'll run into some of the bad ones and it will come up.  Don't do it yourself.....

Not sure I am following this.  You said in the post from last year you were playing college summer ball and facing his team?  What is it that was accomplished now that is different from last year?  It appears you were playing college ball last year and he knows that you "made it" and he was wrong. He apparently didn't care for you in 2009 and sending a text will only serve to have him still not care for you in 2016.  You have already confronted him, been suspended and got him in trouble as well (per your old posts).  What more is there to say?  Not sure that you will actually feel any better after sending emails/texts etc.  Agree with Buckeye, thank the ones that truly helped you and the hell with the rest of them

FlyEmirates7  -  Let. It. Go. 

Nothing good will come of texting, emailing, etc and rubbing their faces in it.   I have no problem with contacting those that were a positive influence.

IMHO, it's not worth stirring up the pot after it has settled.

Your accomplishments speak for themselves.

Besides that, do you really think they'll change their minds or apologize?  I doubt it.

Congratulations on your accomplishment.  You were able to convert words against you as fuel to reach your objective.  Well done.  A simple thank you note to those that motivated you is sufficient.  

Overcoming adversity is always a great story.  Be thankful for where you are now, and always remember, treat people how you would like to be treated.  

I wish you the best of luck.

Is it the right thing?  No. But I guess it depends upon what the accomplishment is.  If it makes you feel better, then do it.  But I wouldn't be nasty, I told you so about it.  I would just matter of factly just say "thought you'd like to know I accomplished ____________.  Thanks for your help."   Good luck.  

It's perfectly normal. Certain personality types enjoy things of this nature myself being one of them. Go for it, you'll feel fulfilled afterwards.

It is not just that one coach, though he will be included in this and he will get the best message of them all. It was other coaches AND teammates AND even non-baseball people that have been less than kind to me throughout the years. And it doesn't matter what motivates anyone, as long as they're motivated. At this point, I am very much frustrated and denounced any friendship or affiliation I had with any other team or coach in the past. I'm only loyal to my current coaches and mentors. And even that, I don't really care for anything good my current coaches have to say to me. I'm just that person that doesn't really believe it. One of my mentors right now is a well known coach in the area and he told me he loved seeing my progress over the years and that I was one of his students that he was the most proud of. However, others say I'm a POS that's not worth taking seriously.

I honestly do feel that sending these messages will give me closure. They are more along the lines of ""thought you'd like to know I accomplished ____________.  Thanks for your motivation over the years." 

To be honest, I don't even care about my accomplishment anymore. I don't want it any more. I just wanted them to see. I just wanted them to see that I am everything they said I was. I want them to be angry at me. Maybe they'll say more words or do something even more drastic towards me in anger, so maybe I can be motivated to do something even more great!! If I quit baseball today, I'd be the happiest man on earth (and hey, I'd be doing what everyone wants me to do), but I wanted to accomplish my mission first. This particular endeavor took me 5 years to accomplish, and to me it is much much greater than making a college team. I don't care if I'm wrong. This mission to accomplish my endeavor simply started because of the way I was treated in this game. Call me overreacting to criticism, whatever. I did it. I don't care. I don't want it anymore. I want them to see it. That's all. When you have personal issues that goes even beyond the baseball field with these people, then tell me I need to "just forget it." Try having your money stolen. Try having your property damaged and house constantly vandalized. Try having your car broken into. Try being "called out" on social media all the time. Try being on a date with a girl and then having her be spit on by these people, simply because she was out with me and "she could do better." Try having one man go out of his way to ensure that I never play baseball again. Tell me I need to "let it go." Again this wasn't just that one coach, though he was a main contributor to this accomplishment. 

I want to do good things. I want to be a good person. I want to accomplish a lot of things. However, I have a feeling this animosity between the people that were responsible for my accomplishments; our relationships will never be repaired. I will keep this with me forever.

To keep my anonymity, I will not share what my accomplishment was on this post, as when I shared with family and friends, this was one of the biggest and "happiest" news ever for my particular social cycle. I don't even want it anymore, I did it, just so I can tell them I did it. 

So, what's the baseball like in Spain? When I've been there tracking Spanish baseball wasn't on my to do list.

FlyEmirates7 posted:

It is not just that one coach, though he will be included in this and he will get the best message of them all. It was other coaches AND teammates AND even non-baseball people that have been less than kind to me throughout the years. And it doesn't matter what motivates anyone, as long as they're motivated. At this point, I am very much frustrated and denounced any friendship or affiliation I had with any other team or coach in the past. I'm only loyal to my current coaches and mentors. And even that, I don't really care for anything good my current coaches have to say to me. I'm just that person that doesn't really believe it. One of my mentors right now is a well known coach in the area and he told me he loved seeing my progress over the years and that I was one of his students that he was the most proud of. However, others say I'm a POS that's not worth taking seriously.

I honestly do feel that sending these messages will give me closure. They are more along the lines of ""thought you'd like to know I accomplished ____________.  Thanks for your motivation over the years." 

To be honest, I don't even care about my accomplishment anymore. I don't want it any more. I just wanted them to see. I just wanted them to see that I am everything they said I was. I want them to be angry at me. Maybe they'll say more words or do something even more drastic towards me in anger, so maybe I can be motivated to do something even more great!! If I quit baseball today, I'd be the happiest man on earth (and hey, I'd be doing what everyone wants me to do), but I wanted to accomplish my mission first. This particular endeavor took me 5 years to accomplish, and to me it is much much greater than making a college team. I don't care if I'm wrong. This mission to accomplish my endeavor simply started because of the way I was treated in this game. Call me overreacting to criticism, whatever. I did it. I don't care. I don't want it anymore. I want them to see it. That's all. When you have personal issues that goes even beyond the baseball field with these people, then tell me I need to "just forget it." Try having your money stolen. Try having your property damaged and house constantly vandalized. Try having your car broken into. Try being "called out" on social media all the time. Try being on a date with a girl and then having her be spit on by these people, simply because she was out with me and "she could do better." Try having one man go out of his way to ensure that I never play baseball again. Tell me I need to "let it go." Again this wasn't just that one coach, though he was a main contributor to this accomplishment. 

I want to do good things. I want to be a good person. I want to accomplish a lot of things. However, I have a feeling this animosity between the people that were responsible for my accomplishments; our relationships will never be repaired. I will keep this with me forever.

To keep my anonymity, I will not share what my accomplishment was on this post, as when I shared with family and friends, this was one of the biggest and "happiest" news ever for my particular social cycle. I don't even want it anymore, I did it, just so I can tell them I did it. 

This guy is so full of it.  People spit on his date and harass him just because he wants to play baseball?  Come on!    

Fly Emirates - Sponsor of my favorite football club Real Madrid

Madrid- Home of Real Madrid C.F.

7- My favorite athlete, Christiano Ronaldo

buenas noches jugador de béisbol

FlyEmirates7 posted:

It is not just that one coach, though he will be included in this and he will get the best message of them all. It was other coaches AND teammates AND even non-baseball people that have been less than kind to me throughout the years. And it doesn't matter what motivates anyone, as long as they're motivated. At this point, I am very much frustrated and denounced any friendship or affiliation I had with any other team or coach in the past. I'm only loyal to my current coaches and mentors. And even that, I don't really care for anything good my current coaches have to say to me. I'm just that person that doesn't really believe it. One of my mentors right now is a well known coach in the area and he told me he loved seeing my progress over the years and that I was one of his students that he was the most proud of. However, others say I'm a POS that's not worth taking seriously.

I honestly do feel that sending these messages will give me closure. They are more along the lines of ""thought you'd like to know I accomplished ____________.  Thanks for your motivation over the years." 

To be honest, I don't even care about my accomplishment anymore. I don't want it any more. I just wanted them to see. I just wanted them to see that I am everything they said I was. I want them to be angry at me. Maybe they'll say more words or do something even more drastic towards me in anger, so maybe I can be motivated to do something even more great!! If I quit baseball today, I'd be the happiest man on earth (and hey, I'd be doing what everyone wants me to do), but I wanted to accomplish my mission first. This particular endeavor took me 5 years to accomplish, and to me it is much much greater than making a college team. I don't care if I'm wrong. This mission to accomplish my endeavor simply started because of the way I was treated in this game. Call me overreacting to criticism, whatever. I did it. I don't care. I don't want it anymore. I want them to see it. That's all. When you have personal issues that goes even beyond the baseball field with these people, then tell me I need to "just forget it." Try having your money stolen. Try having your property damaged and house constantly vandalized. Try having your car broken into. Try being "called out" on social media all the time. Try being on a date with a girl and then having her be spit on by these people, simply because she was out with me and "she could do better." Try having one man go out of his way to ensure that I never play baseball again. Tell me I need to "let it go." Again this wasn't just that one coach, though he was a main contributor to this accomplishment. 

I want to do good things. I want to be a good person. I want to accomplish a lot of things. However, I have a feeling this animosity between the people that were responsible for my accomplishments; our relationships will never be repaired. I will keep this with me forever.

To keep my anonymity, I will not share what my accomplishment was on this post, as when I shared with family and friends, this was one of the biggest and "happiest" news ever for my particular social cycle. I don't even want it anymore, I did it, just so I can tell them I did it. 

In my careers in dealing with violence and addiction, I've seen that hanging on to what people should or should not do is the biggest factor in bad consequences...from people not ignoring insults and resorting to fighting, to people trying to numb the pain of what has happened to them by others, and everything in between. Let the past be the past...you can't change it, and you have no control over what people think. Let them be wrong. Let them call your mother a whore (if it's false, it doesn't matter, and if it's true, well...) Nothing good comes from playing the naysayers' games.

FlyEmirates7 posted:

RJM posted:

My advice is seek counseling. You have a damaged psyche and low self esteem issues. There is absolutely no reason to even think about what those who said you couldn't do it think. Do you think you're the first person who has been told that couldn't accomplish something and did it?

I wasn't just told I wouldn't accomplish something. Complimented with those words were violent threats as well as racist remarks. Maybe not Jackie Robinson level, but it was pretty bad. Some things that are much personal that goes beyond the baseball field. I was humiliated. I was defeated. I was embarrassed. Why would I not want them to see what I did? It's my turn to be a champion for once. 

Use that fire to motivate yourself on the field not to "pay back" to those People. I can understand how you feel, but that is a Thing of the past.

Albert Pujols always used it as a Motivation that he was drafted late. he was furious about that so he worked hard to prove it to everyone. Let Actions speak for yourself, not words.

If you send something to the coaches just write "I achieved x in Baseball, thanks for your Support, you made that possible". Of course that is ironic but if they remember you they will feel even worse when they read your message.

if you attack them they will get defensive and find another reason why they did not like you but if you just write them that neutral, nice message they will know they have messed it up.

Just do Kyle's velocity Programm and become a pro pitcher.

FlyEmirates7 posted:

..........................

Is this the right thing to do or no?

No.  Focus your time and efforts in a meaningful way.  Congrats on your accomplishment.  Now it is time to move on.

You're being played.  No one has their car vandalized, house robbed and dates spat upon for playing baseball.

The only person your hurting is yourself. Bitterness eats at you like a cancer and eventually consumes you. You think if you send these emails and texts that somehow this will release you from this bitterness. You will have finally shown them they were wrong for what they did. Nothing you do to them will release the bitterness from your life. They will either react with negative responses to you or to each other. They will believe they succeeded in controlling your life and actions with their hate. They are not going to be able to give you what you need to give yourself. When you forgive you release yourself from the bonds of bitterness.

If I sent them anything I would send them emails and texts letting them know that you have forgiven them for the way they treated you. I would let them know that you hold no grudges against them and wish them well. I would clear my mind and soul of all bitterness and move on with my life with the knowledge of knowing I did the right thing.

Feeding the roots of bitterness with sweet revenge doesn't kill the bitterness. It only strengthens it. Forgive them in your heart. Release yourself from this by forgiving those that have wronged you. You want to do the right thing? Then do the right thing.

"Holding A Grudge Doesn't Make You Strong; It Makes You Bitter. Forgiving Doesn't Make You Weak; It Sets You Free."

Coach May's post is a good place to close this discussion.