Things I love about players parents...

Not many say "thank you coach" at the end of the season.

CV

6. You hate my son and so...

As a coach I agree. As a parent I resemble that post. By the way, I coulda played pro ball if only I hadn't been 16 my senior year in HS. The fact that I played in front of umpteen scouts at 17 and they weren't impressed is irrelevant.

7. Why isn't my kid playing in the infield?
8. Why isn't my kid pitching?
9a. We want the team to win, you should play to win.
9b. Hey, how come my son is sitting all of a sudden?

They go on websites trash my program and then kiss my butt in person.

How about this knife thru the heart..."you have taken away my son's self confidence and stole his love for baseball."

Dads son is on the hill cruising in the 5th with a no no. You take him out because its early in the year and he has thrown 65 pitches.

Dad: What the heck is he doing he takes him out with a no hitter!

Dads son is on the hill battling his butt off in the 5th. Getting touched a bit and struggling to get guys out.

Dad: Get him out of the game coach. Its early in the season hasn't he thrown enough pitches.

Kids hitting in the four hole.

Dad: He hates hitting in the four hole. If he would move him to the five hole he would rake.

Kid moved to the five hole.

Dad: Ever since he put him in the four hole he has screwed up his confidence. If he would put him somewhere and just leave him there he would settle down and be fine.

Kid stays in the five hole.

Why doesn't he move him in the line up so he can see more fastballs in the count untill he gets his confidence back.

Kid moves to the 8 hole.

He hates the 8 hole he never gets any rbi opportunities there.

Kid gets DH for.

Can you believe that he has a dh for my son. That coach has killed my sons confidence.

Pardon my intrusion on this coaches, but Id like to add that I could have been a pro player...with my desire and love of the game.... I only needed a few other (minor)things and I was definately a major leaguer.....

Like:

Talent
Ability
Speed
Hand/Eye coordination
Size

Other than those, I had it made..........hands down.....

Seriously now, as the HS season fades away and I get more into summer ball, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you all for all the time, effort, professionalism and heart you put into your programs......

Many of us umpires admire what you do, the sacrifices you make and what you have to put up with on a yearly basis...

Thanks Coaches.........

CV,

Think I did, but if not, Thank you Coach!!!

quote:

Originally posted by cvsting:
Not many say "thank you coach" at the end of the season.

CV

I taught my son to do that when he was about 5. And every single sport, every season, he goes up to his coaches - w/o any prodding from me - and looks them straight in the eye and shakes their hand and says "thanks Coach; I had a good time this year [or something similar]".

Their son goes to a showcase that rates them a 9.5 out of 10 and they can't understand why they aren't starting (the kid can't throw strikes).
They give hitting tips to their son while he is in the on-deck circle.
They shout out gems like "keep your head down", "throw the barrel", "good idea" (after they throw a ball).
My personal favorite:
They have their son's number and name embroidered on the side of their hat!

the sad thing I see at most every game is the coaches stalling around on the field after the game before they can leave, as they are clearly waiting for the parents to leave the stands so they don't have to face the "barage".

I had to put an end to my coaching days a few years ago. I don't miss- the mom who told me her 10 year old was already being recruited by UCLA; the dad who complained about the number on his son's uni and that the uni's weren't "fancy" enough; routinely waiting in the park for over an hour until the last kid got picked up; taking home the kid who's ride never came.......

Never had a problem with any kid and when one of your players comes up to you and says thanks and when I run into former players now grown up, in college etc. and they just say "hey coach, how are you doing", it was all worth it.

Sandman I think that is great. I taught my sons the same thing. Thank the coach for his time and his efforts every year. When my oldest son was 12 he was picked for an all star team. He played 14 games with them and never got on the field. He never got one ab. At the conclusion of the all star season I told him to go up to the coach and thank him for the opportunity. I also walked up to the coach and said "Thanks for giving my son the opportunity to play on your team". He looked at me with a stunned look on his face. He was actually speechless. I turned and walked away. I didnt mean it in a sarcastic way. It taught my son some valuable lessons by not playing and sitting on the bench. It motivated him to work even harder. Did I think it was right that he never got a chance to play. Or was it right to pick him if he was not going to even get one ab. NO. But thats ok live and learn and move on.

Great post - I've heard almost all of these from various parents.

At my son's signing in March, we invited a couple of former coaches. I was thanking one of them and sharing about our baseball experience through son's life. He's truly never had a negative experience (with one exception of a recruiting experience last fall) in baseball. To make a long story short, the coach said that much of our happiness and joy with baseball was due to my son's attitude. I thought about this for a few days and he's probably right. Those parents that support not only their son, but the coach (don't mean kissing butt) and teach their child the values that Coach May and Sandman have talked about will have a much happier, successful, and fulfilling experience. The kids who I've seen have an attitude have usually been reflections of their parents. While those kinds of parents mentioned above are frustrating to say the least to coaches, they are really doing their child an even bigger diservice.

Bulldog - I'm afraid I am one of those parents yelling suggestions from the stand. I'll have to say I really have very limited baseball skill knowledge - I do it as a way to cheer. Or I thought it was a way to encourage and cheer! My son's favorite is "don't overthrow". I've stopped all of the advice this year as I realized he doesn't need my suggestions for many reasons!!! He had to help me realize this one!!

quote:

Originally posted by HeyBatter:
Never had a problem with one kid and when that one kid comes up to you and says thanks and when I run into former players now grown up, in college etc. and they just say "hey coach, how are you doing", it was all worth it.

That's another nice gesture some kids just do naturally - call a person coach for the rest of their days! My son does it all the time, even people who only coached him a year and several years ago. It just feels more natural to him, I guess, than calling them Mr.

Ahh... the little things.

I was a hitting coach for youth to HS. I was always the" assistant" leaving the big headaches to the head coach. I feel fortunate for this time and hope to extend it even as my son graduated. As Sandman said the " hey coach" you get for years and the bond and relationship with that many young people trumps any possible downside. It was and continues to be one of life's greatest pleasure. Can't imagine not doing it. Thanks to all you full time coaches!!

In a close rival High School game, the Dad was in the stands behind the plate heckling the umpire until his son got up to bat. Then he was yelling out where the catcher was setting up so his son would know (supposedly)where the pitch was coming. The umpires quickly put an end to this, but how embarassing for a High School Senior to feel his Dad thinks he can't hit a baseball without Daddy telling him where it was being pitched. What a sad situation for the young man. Don't parents realize what they do to their kids confidence when they don't just let them play, especially once they reach High School!

We just finished league play recently for our high school teams and I could not pass up the opportunity to get this off my chest. Aprroxiametely two weeks earlier we faced a club that was leading our division at that point and in the last inning the game really turned ugly when the ace of their staff came on to close the game against us. I had a conflict of interest and allowed my asistant coach to run our club that night(I allways miss the fireworks or so it seems). It all started with an exchange of words, I was told, between that pitcher and my third baseman. Apparently the young man who is listed as a senior for them made a rather rude comment about my 3rd baggers mother and the dugout had to restrain my player from going after him. We lost the game that night and afterwards lined up to shake hands and the opponents player was not finished with the verbal barrage against my player and I was told that three of my players had to tackle my 3rd sacker to keep him from doing something that we would all regret. I receive a call from the director the following morning to inform me that the problems were escalating it appeared that the sister of one of their players had driven over to find my player. She found him at lunch time and then cut him and his passengers off in traffic and continued with the verbal assault. The recount of the story said that my player kept his mouth shut and backed up and went around without further incident.
We had a game scheduled that night and I had a team meeting with the early arrivers of the squad and informed them that any retaliation would result in that games suspension and any additional continuance would result in being removed from the team. The only problem was the young man I needed to reach the most was not yet there. I looked up and out towards the parking area and saw my third baseman just entering the runway, this was compounded by the fact that I also see the opposing pitcher from the night before and his parents walking towards the parking area on the same path. I told the squad to stay put and I took off for the potential confrontation. I did not make it in time to hear what was said but I saw my 3rd baseman go livid but he retained a modicum of composure and give a wide berth and did not appear to say a thing. I asked him what had happened and he told me that the mother looked at him and said ,"What are you looking at ******?" I could not prove anything by restraining the other three so I let it go and we went on to play and we won the game that night. I figured that the night had ended on a positive note until we all went out to the parking area together only to see a police car in the lot because someone had broken out a window of my third basemans, best friends car. Needless to say security became a high priority for the rest of the season.
Now for the best of the story. We had finished playing for third place and winning that, not bad for a club that started 1-9 with 5 freshmen and 4 sophomores on the roster. I decided to stay and watch the championship game which involved the team that we had the earlier altercation with. They were trailing 2-0 in the seventh when of all the people there the mother of that opposing pitcher came over to me and asked if it were legal for their opponents runners at third base to be in foul territory. After my initial shock I told her that we all teach our runners at third to stand on foul ground to avoid being hit by a fair ball and being called out for being hit by a batted ball in fair territory. She did not agree with that, not that I expected her to. All that I could remember thinking was, 'NOW SHE WANTS MY OPINION?"
As the game progressed into the bottom of the ninth with them trailing 3-0 and 2 outs and the batter with a 1-2 count these same parents completely lost it and the game was interrupted for 15 minutes until 5 of those family members were removed from the grounds. After order was restored it took two more pitches to end the game

with all this going on you wonder why some coaches just beg off and find something else to do.

Will - its because the good still far outweighs the bad...

Our starting catcher goes about 125lbs. He has caught in about 32 straight game and was wearing down, arm strength going, legs tired. We replaced him with our number 2 at tourney time. Decision was in the best interest of our team, just came at a bad time. I talked to his father after practice the other day and felt I should explain my decision. Father cut me off and said it was my team and any decision I made was fine with him and that there was no need to explain it to him.
Thought I'd add this one just to let everyone know there are some good ones out there.

You are right. For every nightmare scenario we can come up with there are 100 good stories of support and understanding. Most parents are great people and a joy to be around and get to know.

eck10

Why do you feel you had to explain your decision? Evidently the parent felt the same way.

Strong programs - with strong coaches - are usually self-policing.

The whacked out parent thing doesnt last very long when they are faced with a strong program.

Like Gen. MacArthur - they just fade away.

itsinthegame

Strong coaches need strong administrators(principals athletic directors)

Yes - but not during the summer season.

i haven't liked parents for quite a while now.here's why.
it's our job as parents to love our kids and think they are the best hitters, pitchers, ss.somewhere in our brain,there is a little valve that keeps all those thoughts to ourselves.then like a cancer something eats away at that valve little by little,then all those thoughts spill out like sewage,nobody likes sewage flowing freely to just about anyone that will listen.it clouds our vision,so bad we see things everyone else misses(the 3-3 night our kids had,etc).pretty soon they have that valve blow then they have the clouded vision.it can and does reach epidemic levels where allmost the whole bleachers get it.
we all love our kids, but i have never seen parents in an english class,rasing the teacher or yelling instructions from the hall.for some the valve fixes it self others need a full dose of reality.support your kids lives,don't live your youth threw theirs. thanks to everyone who coaches i know you love it.

one mans opinion

quote:

but i have never seen parents in an english class

That is quite obvious by reading your post.

Many of the good players I have coached had parents that maybe "over cared". Some of these parents were somewhat delusionary about the kids sports future but it isn't always bad. It seems to be linked in some cases to parents that spend time playing catch, throwing Bp, taking kids to college games and trying to do a the best job they can. Yeah it goes over board occassionally but it beats parents that don't care and think they are doing the kids a favor by buying them a Play Station and potato chips. Love does cloud judgement but that is OK

So true Swing.

I rather have parents at the games that care too much - as opposed to not caring at all.

thank you fungo for pointing out my need for paying closer attention in school,or my need for spell check.if i'd paid more attention in school i might have gotten a better job. lol. i'm sorry my grammar isn't that great. it wasn't as important to me as the point i was trying to make. again i'm sorry if you were offended.

20Dad,
You really didn't offend me and I hope I didn't offend you... This is all in fun but in the process maybe we can all learn a little from the hsbbw. I'm sure I could learn something from you. Your first sentence states that you don't like me simply because I'm a parent and then you tell me how I feel when I really don't feel that way. I responded to you somewhat humorously knowing my post was about as inaccurate as yours.

I would like to state that I have met and talked with his English teacher as I'm sure many on this board have also done with their sons.

Yes, there has been times I've felt my son was the best hitter on the team, but I also know there are many time he has let his team down by striking out. Yes, I'm proud that he was drafted and will get his chance to play professional baseball but I also know he has a huge challenge ahead of him and success is a distant hope at best. His baseball and my parenting are two different things. Parenting to me is a huge challenge and is only complicated at times by his obsession with baseball.
Let me give you an example. I said goodbye to the baseball fans at Auburn University on their message board a few days back. Many responded back with their well wishes but one reply stands out that made me feel good. Not about me or my son but about the relationship we have. Here is a part of that post from a fan that explains my take on parenting and baseball:
People like ya'll are what make Auburn baseball special. Your attitude and demeanor never changed when Josh hit .140 for a month or .440 for a month.

"It's just game"
Fungo

Fungo,
I don't think I could pull that one off. My demeanor would certainly change depending on how my son was doing. Hopefully, as my son goes through HS and I'm no longer coaching him I'll learn. Congratulations for a good job all the way around. BTW, I've had to speak with just about all my son's teachers. He gets decent grades but his behavior is less than perfect at times. For some reason he has the most problems with history teachers. I'm not sure why as he loves the subject. How many 13yo do you see watching the history channel? Of course the HS coach teaches...

Hopefully the demeanor can stay 'status quo' when son is not the best player on the team.

When you get to college every player WAS the "best" on his team--- this is the time when parents have to adjust and adjust rapidly--- time for separation

This is the time for parents to become "true fans" of the game and root for the team

CAdad --my 11 year old grandson watches the History Channel regularly

My youngest son has always been one of the best players on every team he has played on. This year as a Freshman he was outstanding. He hit just under .400 in conference play and earned outstanding defensive player of the year. This summer he was invited to play on an 18u showcase team. For the first time in his life he is not one of the best players. Now he is holding his own playing outstanding behind the plate and he is hitting very well. But this team is full of D-1 signees that will be in college this fall. He is loveing it. He has learned so much from these other kids and their approach to the game. He is playing about 1/2 the innings splitting time with an 05 catcher that is a stud. He is learning to bull pen and catch so many different looks. Low 90's rhp and lefties with outstanding cbs sliders etc. He is learning how to sit the bench and stay in the game regardless of the situation. As a parent I have enjoyed watching him play but I have also enjoyed watching the other players as well. He is also learning how to make every ab count because he doesnt know how many he will get. Some games he might get 4 and some games only 1. I try to keep my mouth shut in the stands and just watch the game. Its hard not to coach from the stands Ill tell you that. But I keep it to myself. One things for sure the parents of these top level players seem to be much more in tune with the game and reality than the parents of the not so talented players. Its a new experience for me just showing up at the games and watching the kids play. But to tell you the truth I am really enjoying it. Ill be back at it soon enough. He is very fortunate to have the coaches that he has this summer and the teamates he is around.

fungo ,poor joice of words on my part ,it should have read (i haven't liked some baseball parents for quite awhile).and yes parenting is difficult,very difficult at times,thats why we get thje big bucks.I have also talked with both of my sons english teachers ..at an open house .i've never sat in on an english,science or any other class like i do at a baseball game.
As we all kmow some parents are not as vocal as other parents . this wasn't a topic about the quiet ones.i certainly didn't intend to slam everyone,maybe i'm the only parent who feels this way? as i said before support your kids lives,don't live your youth through theirs.
just one mans opinion

My son went from being the best on just about every team he played on to being redshirted - and then having to transfer to another college.

I dont believe I have ever not enjoyed the game - or not rooted for so many of my friends kids - and our webster's sons as well. (I should add - the recruiting process was not fun - LOL)

If you cant take the bad with the good - take a sewing class and get out of the ballpark.

IMO - It is overcoming the hurdles that makes this game as special as it is.

TR,
I agree with the point you were trying to make but given that our HS and others send 4 to 6 players a year on to college they can't all have been the best players on their team (except of course in their parent's eyes). OK, maybe you were right.

My son just completed his college eligibility. As a freshman he walked on did everything and anything. Made it. i remember in the program his freshman year name ht wt High school that was it. Other guys had All high school this All county that. well a lot of those guys were not there after 4 years. Sometimes all this and all that just dont cut it. it is not what you did yesterday but what you do today.