Tired of unfit, unfair coaches...advice welcomed

Lamber
You did say that! Team sports are a means (not the means...a means) to deal with the workday world. It is. Always has been. Every sport is.

tjro
There is where we have a distinction..."children with parents that still have moral compasses". I feel Coach May was probably referring to those with some sort of moral compass when talking about those he would have on his team. The "us against the world" example I used in my earlier post was in reference to the ones I've been exposed to, and in almost all those cases...very little moral compass was involved. Then again, I live in an area of the country where those with a moral compass are not "eaten for lunch". Why does everyone wonder what is happening to our society when those with a desire to teach respect, humility, decency, etc. are looked down upon? That last statement is general in nature and not directed at any poster.

Talent Is Never Enough!

Lamber your the one that said its just a freaking game they play for enjoyment. Yes they should play for the enjoyment of the game but its not just a game. And I am not advocating that learning how to hit a cb or fb will make you a better person in life. But learning how to step up when the pressure is on and learning how to deal with setbacks in baseball will help you in life. The lessons learned in sports translate to life as well. If you dont understand that well theres nothing else I can say. As far as how I coach let me say this I dont coach Little League kids. I coach young men at the High School level. I coach them to learn about the game of baseball and hopefully help them achieve as much as possible in the game. I also hope that I can teach them about life through baseball. I get alot of enjoyment in seeing kids grow as players. I also get alot of enjoyment seeing young men learn about personal responsibility and how to become part of a team. Your son might not need a coach to teach him anything but baseball. But alot of kids do not the kind of parents at home like most of you on this site. I am a father figure like alot of coachs to alot of my players. The only discipline and structure they have in their lives comes from the coach. Alot of these kids will be at my house Thanksgiving and Christmas and call me from College just to say hello. Some of them will call for advice or maybe they need some help with a problem. Thats one reason its not just a game to me. Lamber have you ever had to buy a kid a glove or cleats because his parents would not or could not afford them? Have you ever had to take a kid in because he had no where else to go? Have you ever coached a team your son was not on? Have you ever been at a practice or game while your son was at another place playing a game? Have you ever taken a kid to a college visit? Have you ever had a kid come by your house and leave his most troubleing problems on your shoulders and ask you to help him other than your own sons? It might just be game to you and it might just be a game to your son but before you go make statements about other people that dont see it your way walk in their shoes first.

Coach May, I couldn't agree with you more, and would be proud to have you as a coach to my son. I have raised 3 sons, all in different high school sports...wrestling, volleyball and baseball...to say that a sport does NOT teach anything about life after high school is just silly....
My husband has coached in all but the volleyball and it is our experience that those who join "for a while" aren't getting their way, and don't want to hear the truth about their son's abilities...So they run to the next place to find some kind of affirmation that their kid is the best. Til he loses and then of course it was the coach or the ref or the ump...HOGWASH!
I pity this next generation of coddled adults...who will be there to pick up the pieces when daddy or mommy is gone? IMO

Coach May,
You sound like a wonderful, caring coach and you do not have to defend the importance of how playing on a team teaches one about the game of life.
Baseball has played an inticate part in preparing my son for who, what and where he is today and who, what, where he will be in the future. Yes, he always played to have fun,isn't that why we should let our children play in team sports? But along the way he managed to pick up a few valuable life lessons.
I don't think I am the only one who will support you on this.

Coach May...and 2ndbasemom...

Agree totally...

Life lessons come from everything our kids participate in...not just sports, but yes it includes that too..now the boys themselves may not be noticing what they're learning or what they might be taking away from the game...or adding to it, or not helping...

but we parents or be it a coach can see past the stat book...

those life lessons on how they react to adversity, on how they respond when winning (humble or too proud), how they encourage another peer or not...do they hustle, do they try harder to earn that spot in the rotation, or do they grumble, do they mess around and not give it their all...

it will relate into their lives later, they just don't necessarily realize it...habits are just that...good or bad...

A good coach can relate to those kids who need help with self esteem and confidence...and a parent can give them support...

no one act stands alone on it's own...it connects to yet another phase...in life..

JMO...

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That last statement is general in nature and not directed at any poster

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I know what you mean...

Coach May sounds like a coach I had in 1957 - 1960 by the name of Milt Axt, great man, and a real friend to his players. Showed them how to be a man...didn't tell them how.

The values that he espouses are still there because the heart really is an old fashioned mechanism. All this neuvo-riche cr*ap leaves the youngsters confused, lost and lonely. It so bad to see kids walking around with their pants underneath their bottom. I couldn't believe it, I saw a girl in a soc*cer uniform with her pants bottoms hung so that her underwear was showing just like the boys. I had to look away, it just disgusted me. I am so sickened by what I see is happening to our children. Just makes me want to cry.




tjro

ditto here tj

Can anyone on this board come out and say that baseball and/or any other team sport does not have a positive affect on how an individual handles situations later in life? I cannot imagine how my kids would deal with the competitive society we live in without that team sports experience.

Lamber can!

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Absolutely not. It's a freaking game that we play for enjoyment. If you're not enjoying it here, try somewhere else. If you can't enjoy it there, move on to life.

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What TR said was "isn't baseball a means of how to deal with the workday world". It is not. Never has been. No sport is.

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rz1...I agree with you. For people that take the above view, I would find it hard to take any post re: baseball seriously.

Talent Is Never Enough!

Some of the problem here is definitions, some of the problem is that the older folks have a narrower perspective than the kids. Kids see it as part of life, many of the older types see it as all or most of life, (or at least the best bits).
Many kids who see it as a game and play it as a game are playing for fun; some of those kids play it very hard and very well, 'cause thats where the fun comes from...winning and being best.
The kids want to play ball, not sit on the bench. Many of the HS coaches would like to have a strong bench, clearly. But really, is it anything other than selfish for the coach of such a program to expect a kid to stay and sit rather than go elsewhere and play?
What kind of a life lesson are you trying to give them? Give up their (possibly major) life goals so the coach has it a bit easier? Isnt it a better lesson that they learn to position themselves to get the best/most from this aspect of their education as well as all other aspects so they are more successful later on? More valuable to self, family and society later on?
Which neurosurgeon do you want working on you... the one who did or the one who watched in his/her earlier training?

Baseball teaches kids how to win and lose as well

Baseball teaches you how to take orders and direction just as they will in the business world

Baseball teaches you to work with others just as you will in the work a day world

Baseball teaches you self esteem

Shall we go on----------------

TRhit

Lamber, you from Jersey Village?

"God knows I gave my best in baseball at all times and no man on earth can truthfully judge me otherwise."...Joe Jackson

Harold Reynolds said it pretty well during LLWS...it is better to have your child play on a team where he is one of the better players, and as such is looked to by the coach as a must-play-to-win type of player, then be on a team filled with "Stars" and your son does BT time. Harold says at the development ages playing is the only criteria that a parent should set a the minimum if your kid is to have any chance of making it to the upper levels of BB...

This feeds into all the other things that TRhit is talking about. When a player spends a lot of time on the bench his confidence, interest level and self-esteem are damaged. I saw this with my son. His reaction to spending time on the bench, for him was the worse thing he suffered through. Because we weren't willing to settle for that and moved on, and he ended up getting a lot of playing time, he is now a better player...is viewed as a must-have-play-to-win type spends very little BT time anymore.

You can see he has a high degree of confidence at the plate and on the mound. He feels comfortable with himself in the roles that he has on his team. And I attribute it to the fact we were not willing to allow him to be relogated to the bench, just so the coach could have him as a back up.

My recommendation is the same as Harold Reynolds to all parents. Find a program that your child can "play" even if the team is not "primo", supplement their instruction with camps and individual instruction, it will pay off in the end with a better quality player.


tjro

Will this thread ever die ???