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The Big Game. 

Son pitches against a district rival tonight.  Both 3-0.  Both with post season aspirations. Both good enough to advance deep into the playoffs.  Opponent is pitching a Team USA 18U guy.  Both teams are good.  I have been waiting for this game all week.  I've been waiting for a game like this since little league all-stars.

Of all the travel baseball "big games", this one feels like it is truly a big game.  Son is playing for something.  Something that just wasn't there in travel ball. The game has been hyped in the local on-line pubs, there is an internet radio broadcast.

Finally, A Big Game.

https://texas.vype.com/houston...rout-of-austin/20150

First season game they won 12-5. Son was so excited for his first game he let his nerves get the best of him. Luckily, he isn’t beating himself up over it. They play tomorrow. He isn’t expecting to play after his performance today, but I told him the coach knows how he does in practice and whether he sits or plays one inning he knows he has to earn his spot back. Tomorrow is a new day.

Francis7 posted:

So here's a question for the group.  Uniforms were given out. Home and away jerseys. But, different numbers on each. From what I've heard, it's been that way for a while. My guess is that they are recycling unis from past years and the sizes don't synch up with the numbers and kids are just grabbing shirts that fit. Is this a pretty common thing for HS ball? For the record, this is the varsity team.

It is for our Freshman team, they are on year 5 of using these uniforms but most of the boys got the same number for home and away

Go44dad posted:

The Big Game. 

Son pitches against a district rival tonight.  Both 3-0.  Both with post season aspirations. Both good enough to advance deep into the playoffs.  Opponent is pitching a Team USA 18U guy.  Both teams are good.  I have been waiting for this game all week.  I've been waiting for a game like this since little league all-stars.

Of all the travel baseball "big games", this one feels like it is truly a big game.  Son is playing for something.  Something that just wasn't there in travel ball. The game has been hyped in the local on-line pubs, there is an internet radio broadcast.

Finally, A Big Game.

https://texas.vype.com/houston...rout-of-austin/20150

#4 did the job!  

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2022NYC posted:

They cancelled kid's first HS game today, it is chilly & windy here and it rained the other day but it is a turf field so I was surprised it was called off. Now I have a bunch of chores to do...ugh

I feel for you--that's a shame.   Last weekend my son got the start in game 1 of a double-header, threw the top of the first and... then the skies opened and there was so much rain that both games were cancelled before the visitors threw a pitch.

Do I talk to the coach or not?

First off, I am not a complaining parent. First game of the season, my son choked- 3 K's, he has never done that at the plate. 2nd game he sat the bench the entire game, but we had the talk that he has to earn his spot every game every practice. In the 3rd game he got to pitch the last 3 innings and did well (better than the other 2 pitchers for sure), but still no at bat. Last night he played RF all 7 innings and made 4 great catches/plays, but still no at bat.

He is a great hitter. Usually bats in the upper .320-.380, OBS .389, SLG .643 But he is not getting that opportunity. He does well in batting practice and we go to the cages outside of practice. We have decent players at the plate, however there are at least 3 boys that get their shot at the plate and don't perform...which leaves me to question WHY my son isn't there?

So, should I let it ride out another week? Or request a meeting and ask what he needs to work on to get a shot At Bat?

meads posted:

Do I talk to the coach or not?

First off, I am not a complaining parent. First game of the season, my son choked- 3 K's, he has never done that at the plate. 2nd game he sat the bench the entire game, but we had the talk that he has to earn his spot every game every practice. In the 3rd game he got to pitch the last 3 innings and did well (better than the other 2 pitchers for sure), but still no at bat. Last night he played RF all 7 innings and made 4 great catches/plays, but still no at bat.

He is a great hitter. Usually bats in the upper .320-.380, OBS .389, SLG .643 But he is not getting that opportunity. He does well in batting practice and we go to the cages outside of practice. We have decent players at the plate, however there are at least 3 boys that get their shot at the plate and don't perform...which leaves me to question WHY my son isn't there?

So, should I let it ride out another week? Or request a meeting and ask what he needs to work on to get a shot At Bat?

This is going to sound unrelated, but give me a second. My son's in college and is getting some amazing opportunities to pitch as a freshman. Some of them, he has rocked. Been just amazing. Other's he's been marginal and once really bad.

Other pitchers come in and seem more consistent, and yet my son is getting better opportunities.

Here's my point — I've had to conclude that the coaches see something in practices and bullpens that we don't and that's what's driving it.

Maybe they are seeing something that you aren't. My own advice is to let it ride, but if anyone requests a meeting, it should be your son. Not you.

JCG posted:

+1.

Parents do not talk to coaches about playing time. Ever.

I agree with you here, except at the parent meeting the head coach did say that they have a 24 hour rule regarding games and questions and they were fine with questions and I get the playing time ( I don't have an issue with that at all), I don't understand the no at bats.

I will get my son to talk with the coaches first. I really don't want to get involved but it is eating at me.

meads posted:
JCG posted:

+1.

Parents do not talk to coaches about playing time. Ever.

I agree with you here, except at the parent meeting the head coach did say that they have a 24 hour rule regarding games and questions and they were fine with questions and I get the playing time ( I don't have an issue with that at all), I don't understand the no at bats.

I will get my son to talk with the coaches first. I really don't want to get involved but it is eating at me.

Read all the other posts.  Nothing good comes out of you talking to the coach, this comes as a parent and a coach.  Have your son go to him and ask what he can do to get better.  As has been stated, he doesn't need to bring up the three K's but just ask what he can do to get better.  Just remember if your son is getting this opportunity I will bet some kid is getting none to little opportunity. 

meads posted:
JCG posted:

+1.

Parents do not talk to coaches about playing time. Ever.

I agree with you here, except at the parent meeting the head coach did say that they have a 24 hour rule regarding games and questions and they were fine with questions and I get the playing time ( I don't have an issue with that at all), I don't understand the no at bats.

I will get my son to talk with the coaches first. I really don't want to get involved but it is eating at me.

You have said in the past that your son's HS coach is well qualified.  You have said that, just last year, a good friend's honest assessment was that your son just wasn't ready for HS ball yet (when he tried out as an 8th grader).  You have said several times that your son has to prove himself every day (very true).  Why on earth would you want to arrange for a meeting with the coach to question his playing time, now, as a freshman in freshman ball?

Generally, when a coach says there is a 24 hr rule for talking to parents, it means one of two things... he will address questions for anything except playing time at that time and/or he assumes the parent will have that time to calm down and think better than to ask about playing time for their son.  Most HS's have a strict policy that parents can absolutely bring up any concerns but can absolutely not question playing time with coach, AD or principal.  That rule is there for good reason.  Parents will naturally see the best in their kids.  Coaches must objectively see the best, worst and all in between and make the difficult decisions accordingly.  There are always more than nine players on a roster and there will always be disappointed players (and parents).  The coaches are with all the players every day for hours each day at practice.  They have assistant coaches that are also with the players every day, giving their feedback.  Relax.  Let the rope out a bit more.  Your son is in HS now.  You are giving him the good support he needs behind the scenes.  It's time to let him earn his own way back onto the field.  If your son continues to work hard and is able to achieve his goals to play beyond HS, he will face this situation again and again and again.  It absolutely IS NOT the place of the parent to stand and speak for him when it comes to playing time.

I can assure you that, in the not-too-distant future, you will look back and laugh that you actually considered doing this.

PS - also keep in mind that timing won't necessarily happen on your clock.  Even when your son earns a shot back into the lineup, the kid that replaced him has to earn his way back OUT of the lineup.

Last edited by cabbagedad

This was very similar to my son's situation freshman year and half of sophomore. He was a starting fielder halfway through freshman year, but hit in only 4 total games, even though there were other players with horrible batting averages. When he did bat, he hit decently, so ironically, his freshman BA was over .300.  We assumed (and told him) that it must have do with what the coaches saw in practice. In fact, we never figured it out. It ate at son, it ate at us. We knew enough to know that parents don't talk to the coach; we did not know enough to suggest that son talk to the coach. We just had no experience with varsity sports, we didn't know if that was something that was recommended or absolutely the wrong thing. So, freshman year he never said anything, he did hit a lot in the cages after practice. When it happened again sophomore year, we asked his hitting instructor if it would be o.k. if son talked to the coach, and the instructor said, of course he should. Son still felt nervous about talking to the head coach, so he texted (!) the (younger) assistant coach. He then did get more at bats.  Junior year he was in the lineup all year, senior year we will find out if the rain lets up so that the season can start.

In hindsight, I wish that we had known to tell him to talk to the head coach, right from the start. He would then have had a better take on it, and a better relationship with the coaching staff earlier on. It all worked out in the end, and it was certainly a good learning experience, but it was a really long freshman season.

meads posted:
JCG posted:

+1.

Parents do not talk to coaches about playing time. Ever.

I agree with you here, except at the parent meeting the head coach did say that they have a 24 hour rule regarding games and questions and they were fine with questions and I get the playing time ( I don't have an issue with that at all), I don't understand the no at bats.

I will get my son to talk with the coaches first. I really don't want to get involved but it is eating at me.

Meads, not to pile on but to add to what I already said...  maybe this will better help you visualize...

Just this last year, four of my players graduated from our HS program and went on to play in college.  Two of them are already playing and contributing as college true freshmen (albeit not without the constant fight for PT).  The other two have more talent.  But they also have parents that always tried to "clear the path" and do too much to help their kids, even into HS.  Those two are struggling with figuring things out on their own.  One quit and moved back home (his parents once came and complained to me about him not being a 2-way, despite him and the team clearly being better off with him as a PO - developed an average talent into league pitcher of the year).  The other is struggling to make the necessary adjustments at that level and not knowing how to, and not being self-driven enough to "fix it".  Mom is freaking out, even though this is exactly what I told her would happen for the last four years as she continued to try to do everything for him.  Each year, as we saw our players move on to the next level, I could quite accurately predict their likely level of success and, so often, it could be traced back to earlier parent interaction.

How you approach this from here on out will have an impact.

Last edited by cabbagedad
meads posted:

Do I talk to the coach or not?

First off, I am not a complaining parent. First game of the season, my son choked- 3 K's, he has never done that at the plate. 2nd game he sat the bench the entire game, but we had the talk that he has to earn his spot every game every practice. In the 3rd game he got to pitch the last 3 innings and did well (better than the other 2 pitchers for sure), but still no at bat. Last night he played RF all 7 innings and made 4 great catches/plays, but still no at bat.

He is a great hitter. Usually bats in the upper .320-.380, OBS .389, SLG .643 But he is not getting that opportunity. He does well in batting practice and we go to the cages outside of practice. We have decent players at the plate, however there are at least 3 boys that get their shot at the plate and don't perform...which leaves me to question WHY my son isn't there?

So, should I let it ride out another week? Or request a meeting and ask what he needs to work on to get a shot At Bat?

Your season started 7 days ago and you already want to talk to the coach about not getting enough ABs? I could see your son doing it a month in if he wasn't hitting at all, but if you are going to ask about getting more ABs and then call out three other players who are having a bad week - it will not end well for your son now or moving forward.

meads posted:
JCG posted:

+1.

Parents do not talk to coaches about playing time. Ever.

I agree with you here, except at the parent meeting the head coach did say that they have a 24 hour rule regarding games and questions and they were fine with questions and I get the playing time ( I don't have an issue with that at all), I don't understand the no at bats.

I will get my son to talk with the coaches first. I really don't want to get involved but it is eating at me.

If it is "eating at you", then do yourself and your son a favor. Take a few games off. It's his journey. Not yours.

My son's first HS game ever yesterday.  Made varsity as a freshman on a team that has a ton of young players - coach said in the paper it is the youngest varsity team he has ever coached.  My son comes down with a stomach bug on Wednesday but gets the start at 3B.  Funny side note - in a little low grade, completely hysterical hazing our seniors get to pick out the walk up music for new varsity players.  Given my son's  freshman status, his walk up music is that horrible "Baby Shark" teletubbies-type song.  Complete riot.  

Kid went  1 for 2 at the plate but had a bad error that cost a run but team still won 9-4.  He said he is going to chalk it up to nerves and experience but overall a good debut.

 

cabbagedad posted:
meads posted:
JCG posted:

+1.

Parents do not talk to coaches about playing time. Ever.

I agree with you here, except at the parent meeting the head coach did say that they have a 24 hour rule regarding games and questions and they were fine with questions and I get the playing time ( I don't have an issue with that at all), I don't understand the no at bats.

I will get my son to talk with the coaches first. I really don't want to get involved but it is eating at me.

Meads, not to pile on but to add to what I already said...  maybe this will better help you visualize...

Just this last year, four of my players graduated from our HS program and went on to play in college.  Two of them are already playing and contributing as college true freshmen (albeit not without the constant fight for PT).  The other two have more talent.  But they also have parents that always tried to "clear the path" and do too much to help their kids, even into HS.  Those two are struggling with figuring things out on their own.  One quit and moved back home (his parents once came and complained to me about him not being a 2-way, despite him and the team clearly being better off with him as a PO - developed an average talent into league pitcher of the year).  The other is struggling to make the necessary adjustments at that level and not knowing how to, and not being self-driven enough to "fix it".  Mom is freaking out, even though this is exactly what I told her would happen for the last four years as she continued to try to do everything for him.  Each year, as we saw our players move on to the next level, I could quite accurately predict their likely level of success and, so often, it could be traced back to earlier parent interaction.

How you approach this from here on out will have an impact.

Thank you. That is helpful advice.

PABaseball posted:
meads posted:

Do I talk to the coach or not?

First off, I am not a complaining parent. First game of the season, my son choked- 3 K's, he has never done that at the plate. 2nd game he sat the bench the entire game, but we had the talk that he has to earn his spot every game every practice. In the 3rd game he got to pitch the last 3 innings and did well (better than the other 2 pitchers for sure), but still no at bat. Last night he played RF all 7 innings and made 4 great catches/plays, but still no at bat.

He is a great hitter. Usually bats in the upper .320-.380, OBS .389, SLG .643 But he is not getting that opportunity. He does well in batting practice and we go to the cages outside of practice. We have decent players at the plate, however there are at least 3 boys that get their shot at the plate and don't perform...which leaves me to question WHY my son isn't there?

So, should I let it ride out another week? Or request a meeting and ask what he needs to work on to get a shot At Bat?

Your season started 7 days ago and you already want to talk to the coach about not getting enough ABs? I could see your son doing it a month in if he wasn't hitting at all, but if you are going to ask about getting more ABs and then call out three other players who are having a bad week - it will not end well for your son now or moving forward.

First off, I thought this would be a safe place to talk out my thoughts and feelings.  Apparently some of you just like to be harsh. I have thick skin and I have dealt with many yahoo dads over the years, but try to be constructive not destructive with your comments!

Also, I never said I would "call out" the other players. I don't throw ANYONE under the bus, ever! Also, I told my kid at the beginning of the season that he had to earn his spot and work hard or someone on the bench would replace him. I also let my kid battle his own battles and we have discussed on whether he should/shouldn't ask his coaches (He brought up this whole thing, not me). I would only step in if he asked me too, but I wanted to get your thoughts as well, geesh  

57special- "take off a few games"  worst advice ever....

This whole conversation is hypothetical in the event that things did not change and son talked to the coaches and still no change and he asks me to step in- I don't do anything on the spur of the moment, I like to process and think things through.

anotherparent posted:

This was very similar to my son's situation freshman year and half of sophomore. He was a starting fielder halfway through freshman year, but hit in only 4 total games, even though there were other players with horrible batting averages. When he did bat, he hit decently, so ironically, his freshman BA was over .300.  We assumed (and told him) that it must have do with what the coaches saw in practice. In fact, we never figured it out. It ate at son, it ate at us. We knew enough to know that parents don't talk to the coach; we did not know enough to suggest that son talk to the coach. We just had no experience with varsity sports, we didn't know if that was something that was recommended or absolutely the wrong thing. So, freshman year he never said anything, he did hit a lot in the cages after practice. When it happened again sophomore year, we asked his hitting instructor if it would be o.k. if son talked to the coach, and the instructor said, of course he should. Son still felt nervous about talking to the head coach, so he texted (!) the (younger) assistant coach. He then did get more at bats.  Junior year he was in the lineup all year, senior year we will find out if the rain lets up so that the season can start.

In hindsight, I wish that we had known to tell him to talk to the head coach, right from the start. He would then have had a better take on it, and a better relationship with the coaching staff earlier on. It all worked out in the end, and it was certainly a good learning experience, but it was a really long freshman season.

Thank you for understanding and the advice. Glad I'm not the only one here to experience this

meads posted:
anotherparent posted:

This was very similar to my son's situation freshman year and half of sophomore. He was a starting fielder halfway through freshman year, but hit in only 4 total games, even though there were other players with horrible batting averages. When he did bat, he hit decently, so ironically, his freshman BA was over .300.  We assumed (and told him) that it must have do with what the coaches saw in practice. In fact, we never figured it out. It ate at son, it ate at us. We knew enough to know that parents don't talk to the coach; we did not know enough to suggest that son talk to the coach. We just had no experience with varsity sports, we didn't know if that was something that was recommended or absolutely the wrong thing. So, freshman year he never said anything, he did hit a lot in the cages after practice. When it happened again sophomore year, we asked his hitting instructor if it would be o.k. if son talked to the coach, and the instructor said, of course he should. Son still felt nervous about talking to the head coach, so he texted (!) the (younger) assistant coach. He then did get more at bats.  Junior year he was in the lineup all year, senior year we will find out if the rain lets up so that the season can start.

In hindsight, I wish that we had known to tell him to talk to the head coach, right from the start. He would then have had a better take on it, and a better relationship with the coaching staff earlier on. It all worked out in the end, and it was certainly a good learning experience, but it was a really long freshman season.

Thank you for understanding and the advice. Glad I'm not the only one here to experience this

Meads, one more from me and then I'll step away unless you have something specific you want to ask.  

Forewarning - I'm going to be direct and you may interpret as harsh.  There is something of value to be taken from what PaBaseball said.  It is telling that your son is just a week into this thing and you are having this "hypothetical" already.  There is also something(s) of value to be taken from what 57special said if you read into it properly. 

It is telling that you latched on to the one post that you feel is someone that has experienced what you are experiencing.  Believe me, pretty much everyone here has dealt with that scenario.  And, there is no comparison between dealing with it for a week and dealing with it for a year and a half (as anotherparent did).  There is also no comparison between demanding that the player take it upon himself to talk to the coach (as anotherparent did) and considering stepping in as a parent.  It is telling that you say you have thick skin but consider those other replies "destructive" and "worst advice ever".  It is telling that you say you let your kid fight his own battles but are willing to step in and fight for him with something like playing time.

There may be a few folks here (not this thread specifically) that are just harsh jerks just because... but most of the time, when there is direct dialog as in the posts responding to yours, the purpose is to help you quickly recognize that you are headed down the wrong path and nicey nice PC sympathy is NOT going to convey that message.  Is this a safe place to express...  ??  Yeah, for the most part, I think so.  But, you asked specifically if you should talk to the coach or not.  This certainly implies that you are looking for that guidance.  There are times when the only way to really move the meter is to be very direct.

Many of us came here initially and got that straight-shooting wake-up call when we needed it.  If we can get past our initial butt-hurt feelings the first time around, we find great value in the advice and information given here.  I do hope that is the path you take.  I really think your son will benefit from it as most of ours and so many others have.

Last edited by cabbagedad
cabbagedad posted:
meads posted:
anotherparent posted:

This was very similar to my son's situation freshman year and half of sophomore. He was a starting fielder halfway through freshman year, but hit in only 4 total games, even though there were other players with horrible batting averages. When he did bat, he hit decently, so ironically, his freshman BA was over .300.  We assumed (and told him) that it must have do with what the coaches saw in practice. In fact, we never figured it out. It ate at son, it ate at us. We knew enough to know that parents don't talk to the coach; we did not know enough to suggest that son talk to the coach. We just had no experience with varsity sports, we didn't know if that was something that was recommended or absolutely the wrong thing. So, freshman year he never said anything, he did hit a lot in the cages after practice. When it happened again sophomore year, we asked his hitting instructor if it would be o.k. if son talked to the coach, and the instructor said, of course he should. Son still felt nervous about talking to the head coach, so he texted (!) the (younger) assistant coach. He then did get more at bats.  Junior year he was in the lineup all year, senior year we will find out if the rain lets up so that the season can start.

In hindsight, I wish that we had known to tell him to talk to the head coach, right from the start. He would then have had a better take on it, and a better relationship with the coaching staff earlier on. It all worked out in the end, and it was certainly a good learning experience, but it was a really long freshman season.

Thank you for understanding and the advice. Glad I'm not the only one here to experience this

Meads, one more from me and then I'll step away unless you have something specific you want to ask.  

Forewarning - I'm going to be direct and you may interpret as harsh.  There is something of value to be taken from what PaBaseball said.  It is telling that your son is just a week into this thing and you are having this "hypothetical" already.  There is also something(s) of value to be taken from what 57special said if you read into it properly. 

It is telling that you latched on to the one post that you feel is someone that has experienced what you are experiencing.  Believe me, pretty much everyone here has dealt with that scenario.  And, there is no comparison between dealing with it for a week and dealing with it for a year and a half (as anotherparent did).  There is also no comparison between demanding that the player take it upon himself to talk to the coach (as anotherparent did) and considering stepping in as a parent.  It is telling that you say you have thick skin but consider those other replies "destructive" and "worst advice ever".  It is telling that you say you let your kid fight his own battles but are willing to step in and fight for him with something like playing time.

There may be a few folks here (not this thread specifically) that are just harsh jerks just because... but most of the time, when there is direct dialog as in the posts responding to yours, the purpose is to help you quickly recognize that you are headed down the wrong path and nicey nice PC sympathy is NOT going to convey that message.  Is this a safe place to express...  ??  Yeah, for the most part, I think so.  But, you asked specifically if you should talk to the coach or not.  This certainly implies that you are looking for that guidance.  

Many of us came here initially and got that straight-shooting wake-up call when we needed it.  If we can get past our initial butt-hurt feelings the first time around, we find great value in the advice and information given here.  I do hope that is the path you take.  I really think your son will benefit from it as most of ours and so many others have.

I was halfway into a post...............but got side tracked and closed the window. 

When I came back, you had posted this.  Conveys my thoughts exactly.  Most (including myself I hope) are here to help.  I've got a kid graduating in 2 months that played D1 for 4 years, and I'm starting the process again w/ a freshman in HS.  

One thing that I will say Meads is this.........enjoy the ride, it will be over soon, and it goes WAY quicker than you can even imagine.  

I had a similar conversation with JV parents at game last Saturday.  2 varsity pitchers came down and pitched the majority of innings in a JV game as they had not pitched in a game for 2 weeks. 

MANY JV parents were upset, as it took innings away from their son on the mound and/or in the field.  

I tried to explain to them that the JV should be considered as AAA.  If you perform, you can move up, but you can also lose a spot if someone moves down or up from freshman.

Control what you can control.  Don't worry about what you can't.

Last edited by russinfortworth

My kid is 3 games in and has played OF and DH. There are 18 kids on roster and playng time is scarce for the bench players but the coaches were able to get them an inning.  I was able to make the tail end of their last game on Saturday and they looked pretty good. I asked my son how he felt about not catching in games, he was fine with it. He goes to a Catholic school and hs games all throughout his long spring break due to Easter. My Uber account is going to take a beating that week

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