I was going to begin a new topic today, but something else came up, not sure where to place it, but I am sure most of you always read this section first.
I am not going to preach, just wanted to share about something that happened over the weekend.
Just around the corner from my home there was a horrific accident that occured in the early morning hours on Sunday. Two teens were killed, and two adult women, died instantly upon impact. One leaves behind a two year old and I am pretty sure I know who she was by her picture. There are also others lying in the hospital in critical condition. One of the investigators said it was the worst crash he has ever seen in his life. They all attended the HS where my son attended and today I found out that this year alone 5 from the school have died in car crashes. 5, that is unbelievable!
The teens had been partying and on their way to another when this happened. Speed was involved and they have not yet determined if alcohol was involved. Each family is blaming the other and of course we know right away what goes through our minds. I did not know who the teens where but my son's friend told me that one sat right across from her in class and the whole school is in shock.
I do not claim to be the best parent, no one is the perfect parent. No one can be perfect at the most difficult job in the world, raising our children. I was the P in the A parent, both my kids hated me for it. I wanted to know where they were and with who they were with and we set boundaries as to where you do not cross. Rules changed when their friends began driving them around, rules changed when they began driving. I lost some friends along the way, because I didn't like that they allowed drinking in their homes, regardless of taking the keys away or not. I wouldn't do it with their kids, I didn't want them to do it with mine. We never allowed partys at our home, and they had to call to let us know when someone was over (even senior year in HS). I still to this day am on both their cases, one is 28, the other 19. They don't live with me, but I still remind them ALL the time about what I expect from them. I treated them both the same, my son was a bit easier because he spent half his life at school or on the field or at work. I drove my daughter crazy when I did not know where she was. She was always testing me.
Parents, my advice. Always know where your kids are, who they are with. You can't stop them from getting into trouble, but you can surely remind them of the consequences...all of the consequences. Don't ever take the attitude, not my child, he/she wouldn't do that. As much as you want to trust them, while they are vulnerable teens, don't trust them. They will dislike you for it, but thank you someday. Even as they become adults, you have to remind them of what you expect from them as responsible adults, don't just assume they know. This is the greatest gift you can give to your children. Remember that your child lives in the present,not the past or the future. They just don't know how to see the forest from the trees.
I lost two cousins when I was younger, one to cancer, one to sustance abuse. I still see the pain in my aunts eyes today because of the loss, even after 30+ years.
Thanks for listening.
Original Post
