Are you "THAT PARENT"!??

No.

I've won best baseball dad alive in my household ten of the last eleven years.

Uncle Rico.  I love it.  

My kid  would have objected profusely if I was involved in any way in his HS sports.  I just watch, eat seeds and pace the sidelines.  

Baseballparent23 - I suggest you have "That Parent" view Monte Lee's (Clemson) video in the following thread:

http://community.hsbaseballweb...23#44938423099359223

By the time student athletes are playing HS ball it's time for Mom and Dad to back away and let the athlete handle it.  All the parents are required to do is show up for game day and cheer The Team on.

In the long run "hovering" doesn't help.  My son's HS coach always held a preseason meeting the parents and athletes were required to attend where he went over all the ground rules (parents had to sign a statement about the concussion protocol as well) - practices are closed to parents, only coaches and players allowed in the dugout and on the field, contributing to the booster club was encouraged but in no way played a part in determining playing time.  He would gladly talk to parents, but not during practice and not directly after a game.  He preferred you make an appointment.

It really is the coaches team.  Nothing the parents do or say will change that.

At some point Mom and Dad have to let go.  I can guarantee college coaches will shy away from a 5 tool player whose parents are micromanaging the athletes "career".  They simply don't want to deal with them and they don't have to.  There's plenty of other fish in the pond.

As a parent it's hard to let go, but, you know, once you do, it actually makes the game/season more enjoyable.  I learned to relax and enjoy - in the end it's just a game.  There are far more important things in life.

In case y'all haven't had the pleasure of perusing this golden thread...

http://community.hsbaseballweb...ool-baseball-watcher

So, first of all, it wasn't me.

Second, who's fault is this?  The dad's?  No.  It's the coach's fault.  He allows it.  If he wanted to put an end to it he could in one afternoon.

While I agree that common sense and dignity should prevail and these guys should recognize the correct answer, the coach is the co-conspirator in this.

The longer I live, the more I realize that common sense isn't so common anymore.

There are three different types of HS programs :

A) Run buy the parents

b) Run buy the players

c) Run by the coaches

If your son is in a proper program ran by the coaches the parents will know their role in high school baseball. Parents are to 'be seen but not heard' . No talking to the coaches about playing time or anything baseball related unless it involves a health issue. No coaching from behind the backstop during AB's and if it isn't obvious to you yet, stay out of the dugout and off the field .

Like Coach Lee at Clemson say's ....I didn't even say my son's name loud during a AB or if he was pitching. No loud rooting. That is a HUGE distraction. I learned that during his Jr year. Before that my behavior wasn't as good. I learned as I went along.

Basically , I learned my job is to sit and enjoy WATCHING my son play , Donate money and feed my son after the game.

That's it

Go44dad posted:

No.

I've won best baseball dad alive in my household ten of the last eleven years.

I can vouch for Go44.  I keep coming in second. Fenway won the award the year Go44 didn't, btw.

Our HS team is run by the coaches and supported by the parents. Coaches coach and parents run the concession stand, scoreboard, announce the games and in the summer collect the gate. We don't go in the dugout ever or for the love of baseball we don't go on the field. We are welcome to watch practice but we are not welcome to do anything more than watch. And since we still have 4 weeks until tryouts start I'll give you the craziest parent story I've personally witnessed. Last summer we are playing in a tournament. We were hosting and had gotten some rain the night before so coach sends out a text at 7am telling the boys to come up to help get the field ready. Well, not every kid woke up to see the text. Those that did were rewarded with a start in that evenings game. One of the kids who didn't wake up had  started probably 90% of the games last summer. His grandfather was in town that day and came to see him play. Because he wasn't there that morning he sat the first inning. His mom lost her mind. She TEXTED the coach during the first inning letting him know how upset she was and wanted to have a sit down later to discuss it. We all watched in horror as the coach pulls out his phone as he's coaching 3rd base and reads the text. He texted back "who is this". (He knew exactly who it was) Which further set her off. Then he walked up to her kid and asked him if there was an issue with him sitting. He of course said no. Then he told him about the text. Kid shot fire at his mom and she's been quiet as a church mouse since.  I will admit by the end of the tournament a few of us were having a good time joking with the coach about it. its just so absurd. 

OK, a more serious reply.  Son was in a well run organization starting at 12.  Head of org was an ex-High School coach.  As well as training the kids to make their HS team, part of the goal was to train the parents.  No parents on field before, during or after practice or games.  Don't come to the dugout.  Don't yell at umpires, say negative things to your kid during the game, don't get into it with other fans.  Don't bring water, gatorades to the dugout. Don't ask about playing time.

Some parents couldn't handle the transition, were "that parent", and aren't around anymore.

I can see the bumper sticker now ... "Don't be Uncle Rico"

I've seen THAT parent, and I always cringe for the kid.

My job as a parent is to drive the car, write the checks, address any health issues, and remind my son to "SMILE, you are playing baseball" when I see him getting too serious.

cabbagedad posted:

In case y'all haven't had the pleasure of perusing this golden thread...

http://community.hsbaseballweb...ool-baseball-watcher

 

SOLID entertainment!

And I thought nobody noticed some of the things I have done (and some I still do)

LMAO

Go44dad posted:

No.

I've won best baseball dad alive in my household ten of the last eleven years.

Go I find that hard to beleive...  You are being modest, no doubt it is eleven in a row!

smokeminside posted:

Go44dad posted:

No.

I've won best baseball dad alive in my household ten of the last eleven years.

I can vouch for Go44.  I keep coming in second. Fenway won the award the year Go44 didn't, btw.

Smoke lives with GoDad?  Hmmmmm....

2020dad posted:

smokeminside posted:

Go44dad posted:

No.

I've won best baseball dad alive in my household ten of the last eleven years.

I can vouch for Go44.  I keep coming in second. Fenway won the award the year Go44 didn't, btw.

Smoke lives with GoDad?  Hmmmmm....

I was in Asia for a year, so....

StrainedOblique posted:

There are three different types of HS programs :

A) Run buy the parents

b) Run buy the players

c) Run by the coaches

If your son is in a proper program ran by the coaches the parents will know their role in high school baseball. Parents are to 'be seen but not heard' . No talking to the coaches about playing time or anything baseball related unless it involves a health issue. No coaching from behind the backstop during AB's and if it isn't obvious to you yet, stay out of the dugout and off the field .

Like Coach Lee at Clemson say's ....I didn't even say my son's name loud during a AB or if he was pitching. No loud rooting. That is a HUGE distraction. I learned that during his Jr year. Before that my behavior wasn't as good. I learned as I went along.

Basically , I learned my job is to sit and enjoy WATCHING my son play , Donate money and feed my son after the game.

That's it

Talk about parents running the program -- Heard about a coach last year who lost his job after going 32-5 because the parents said he was too hard on the kids. 

They have since hired a football assistant who admits that he knows nothing about baseball as the head coach. 

I'm sure that is going to work out just fine in the end. 

Ok my serious response.  It's old for those who have seen it before...  As a coach I always invited parents to practice.  Always welcomed them not in but around the dugout.  I even invite them to post game talks.  I say to parents "I shouldn't say anything to your kids I don't want you to hear"  Because of all this openess I will give you one guess how many parents hover.  Just about zero.  There were a few but for the most part everyone was at ease just knowing they could and therefore didn't bother with it.  Why do these coaches thing what they are doing is so top secret?  Who cares if a parent wants to watch?  How insecure are these coaches?  And if a parent is out of line then have the gonads to tell them to beat it.  All this 'that dad' stuff is just a matter of people who can't mind their own business and want to control everybody else's life.  What do you care how Mr. Smith communicates to little Johnny?  Why the ...  is it any of your business?  I parent my way and it takes all my energy.  I don't have any energy left to worry about how any of you parent yours!  For the record I have expressed zero complaints to the football or basketball coaches and don't plan on complaining to the baseball coaches.  I did watch parts of football practices - barely, mostly it was a boys club for some dads.  My 'friends' are now the fellow sports dads.  We have a blast just sitting around chewing the fat.  I don't hang out in bars (but have no issue with those that do), this is my version of hanging out in the bar.  Baseball will I watch practices?  I don't know yet.  Depends who else is.  If I have buddies there you bet I will when I can.  Would I sit alone to watch practice?  Probably not.  So am I 'that dad'?  Don't think so but by who's measuring stick?  And who has the right to use that stick?  And by the way I have an idea what then they can do with that stick!!  Let's all mind our own business and not worry about who is 'that dad' shall we?

why is little johnny always singled out

I think I am pretty good about this.  Never, ever, ever have talked to a coach about playing time or any other on field issue.  I also don't carry the kid's bag.  Only time I've been on the field is for senior night.  Attend a HS practice?  Heck no.  My kids would kill me.

However, on a really hot day, I will get a gatorade and throw it to my kid between innings.  Does that make me a bad parent?

JDFarmer posted:

I think I am pretty good about this.  Never, ever, ever have talked to a coach about playing time or any other on field issue.  I also don't carry the kid's bag.  Only time I've been on the field is for senior night.  Attend a HS practice?  Heck no.  My kids would kill me.

However, on a really hot day, I will get a gatorade and throw it to my kid between innings.  Does that make me a bad parent?

There's no way around the Gatorade problem at LakePointe. You can't bring in coolers and sometimes there aren't any coolers in the dugout. 

But I guess you could let him dehydrate all in the name of not being labeled "that parent" by people who don't matter. 

Nice post 2020Dad!  We have three or four of these type threads a year.  I am convinced that some parents have been taking things too seriously for time immemorial.  It's part of the human condition. 

I like your reverse-psychology take on things.  Let parents know they are not forbidden from anything and most of them will leave you alone.  Nothing wrong at all with a parent who wants to watch practice.   

JDFarmer posted:

  Only time I've been on the field is for senior night.  Attend a HS practice?  Heck no.  My kids would kill me.

 

I have been surprised at how many parents I see at college practices. Just this past weekend, I sat with the father of a junior who is likely to be a high draft pick and he told me he makes most practices. I guess a lot of that will depend on how close you are to the campus, but it didn't seem to be any big deal. 

roothog66 posted:

JDFarmer posted:

  Only time I've been on the field is for senior night.  Attend a HS practice?  Heck no.  My kids would kill me.

 

I have been surprised at how many parents I see at college practices. Just this past weekend, I sat with the father of a junior who is likely to be a high draft pick and he told me he makes most practices. I guess a lot of that will depend on how close you are to the campus, but it didn't seem to be any big deal. 

A friend of the family is a freshmen at a Power 5 and the local parents regularly attend practices. Some parents from out of town will even go watch weekend practices. 

2020dad posted:

As a coach I always invited parents to practice.

That is certainly your prerogative as a coach.  Son's HS coach closed practices to parents as he didn't want any distractions.  Yes, even just sitting in the stands or near the OF fence was a distraction as far as he was concerned.

I trusted the coach and did not need to watch practices. 

The only time I was ever on the field was Senior Night.

Never attended any of my son's college practice either, but then again his college was 4-5 hours away.  Even if it had been local I would have never attended the practices.

The only time I was at the ball field was on game day and only about 30 minutes before the 1st pitch.

College senior son's opening series is on the road this weekend...  I checked to see what kind of weather they would be headed toward.  I saw a strange blip - really nice the first day and then quite a bit colder the second.  For a second, the thought crossed my mind to text him to pack the right clothes      Still... ??

And I preach to HS parents at team meetings    Good thing they never come here to witness my confessions.

If you have a number of kids (I have 4), how can you have time to watch everybody's practices? I can barely make the games.

ClevelandDad posted:

Nice post 2020Dad!  We have three or four of these type threads a year.  I am convinced that some parents have been taking things too seriously for time immemorial.  It's part of the human condition. 

I like your reverse-psychology take on things.  Let parents know they are not forbidden from anything and most of them will leave you alone.  Nothing wrong at all with a parent who wants to watch practice.   

Not only that Cleveland Dad, but if they have a complaint about something later on it is great ammunition...  (for johnnysako we will lay off johnny and use jimmy!)   so if little jimmy's dad comes over and starts complaining about jimmy not playing enough the response can go something like this:  Well little jimmy never is in the right place, doesn't know the offense.  As you know you are welcome to come watch for yourself.  Then you will realize what he is doing on game night is NOT within the offense as taught.  Then most will talk to jimmy about why he doesn't know the offense.  Still don't come to practice, the very fact you are encouraging them to do so tells them you have no fear and they believe you are telling the truth.  So now its on little Jimmy.  

Foxdad, not looking for a fight but I just don't understand your point.  You describe how you go about parenting your athlete.  I have no issues with it.  But are you telling me that if I visit my son at college and bask in the southern sun watching his practice it makes me 'that dad'?  Surely I must be misunderstanding you.  And as for your coach who closes his practices...  I guess that is his prerogative, I just don't know why you would want to do this.  (this is not a political comment...) I would much rather build bridges than walls.  Once you put up those defenses and start banning parents from this or that...  just builds animosity right off the bat.  I live five minutes from our new facility.  I could easily drop and go home.  But one of my best friends from the team lives almost an hour from there.  So I hang out with him.  sometimes we go out to eat, other times we sit and watch a game on the big screen there.  But we do in fact see the kids practicing.  We have a new kid, very athletic, left handed and a first baseman/outfielder.  My son may be the ex-firstbaseman.  I know this cause I have seen this other kid in action.  He may be more useful in the outfield leaving my son still at first.  But if this kid starts in front of mine at first base I will know exactly why - he is better!  How do I know this?  I have watched it with my own two eyes.  I am prepared for it rather than it hitting me like a bullet between the eyes opening day.  When people can see disappointment and prepare, it is just much easier.  

2020dad posted:

ClevelandDad posted:

Nice post 2020Dad!  We have three or four of these type threads a year.  I am convinced that some parents have been taking things too seriously for time immemorial.  It's part of the human condition. 

I like your reverse-psychology take on things.  Let parents know they are not forbidden from anything and most of them will leave you alone.  Nothing wrong at all with a parent who wants to watch practice.   

Not only that Cleveland Dad, but if they have a complaint about something later on it is great ammunition...  (for johnnysako we will lay off johnny and use jimmy!)   so if little jimmy's dad comes over and starts complaining about jimmy not playing enough the response can go something like this:  Well little jimmy never is in the right place, doesn't know the offense.  As you know you are welcome to come watch for yourself.  Then you will realize what he is doing on game night is NOT within the offense as taught.  Then most will talk to jimmy about why he doesn't know the offense.  Still don't come to practice, the very fact you are encouraging them to do so tells them you have no fear and they believe you are telling the truth.  So now its on little Jimmy.  

Foxdad, not looking for a fight but I just don't understand your point.  You describe how you go about parenting your athlete.  I have no issues with it.  But are you telling me that if I visit my son at college and bask in the southern sun watching his practice it makes me 'that dad'?  Surely I must be misunderstanding you.  And as for your coach who closes his practices...  I guess that is his prerogative, I just don't know why you would want to do this.  (this is not a political comment...) I would much rather build bridges than walls.  Once you put up those defenses and start banning parents from this or that...  just builds animosity right off the bat.  I live five minutes from our new facility.  I could easily drop and go home.  But one of my best friends from the team lives almost an hour from there.  So I hang out with him.  sometimes we go out to eat, other times we sit and watch a game on the big screen there.  But we do in fact see the kids practicing.  We have a new kid, very athletic, left handed and a first baseman/outfielder.  My son may be the ex-firstbaseman.  I know this cause I have seen this other kid in action.  He may be more useful in the outfield leaving my son still at first.  But if this kid starts in front of mine at first base I will know exactly why - he is better!  How do I know this?  I have watched it with my own two eyes.  I am prepared for it rather than it hitting me like a bullet between the eyes opening day.  When people can see disappointment and prepare, it is just much easier.  

Certainly good points.  I'd like to watch practice.  Used to do it in youth ball all the time.  Like you said it's a "dad's club."  But now in HS, my kid wants no part of it -- I am "embarrassment."  His teammates will get on him. 

Maybe it's a sign of getting close to the season, but I am hankering to pick up a rake and work a field.   

I actually liked it when parents showed up and watched practice.  Never changed a thing because parents were there.  In fact, it was a way for us to show off that we were well organized and knew what we were doing.

There was a freshman that I recruited and his grandfather would show up for every game and nearly every practice.  He never got in the way and I never talked to him until one day he showed up early before anyone was there.  We had rescheduled a practice time and of course he didn't know that.  

He simply asked me if we were practicing that day.  After telling him we changed the schedule and we started talking.  Turned out he was a former professional player and had coached for many years after playing.  He said coach I really enjoy watching my grandson, and I enjoy watching you work and teach these kids how to play.  That led to talking about the team, the players and just baseball in general.  Once again he never interfered or got in the way of anything.  But he would show up at the field when no one was around.  Always very friendly, always fun to talk to, always very positive.  

After awhile we became good friends, mainly because we both shared a real love for the game.  We would just talk baseball whenever we got together.  His grandson received no favors and he never mentioned ever wanting any.  A few years later he died, I lost a good friend, one that I might not have ever got to know had he not gone to our practices.  I found out he had been fighting a disease for many years before it finally took his life.  Not once did he ever mention that to me.

The right parents showing up to watch practice, aren't the parents I worried about.  If you are proud of how you do things, parents can learn something by watching practice.  Sure they are there to watch their son, but they can't avoid watching everything else, too.  No doubt there are some parents that are a pain, and sometimes the good ones get overlooked.  Most all of them are biased, they do have a favorite of course. However,  some just know how to handle things and some just don't get it.

Watching practice is only a problem when those on the field can hear you. BTW, of all the kids we see every year, we only run across a small number of crazy parents.  The good ones could be called the silent majority, but there are good ones that aren't always silent.  Problem is though the number of crazy ones might not be that great, the ones that are crazy can be so bad that it seems like there are millions of them.

Dads in a HS dugout??  Are you kidding me? 

Best story I have.....we live in a small town in NW Ohio.  Growing up our youth leagues were coached by dads (whose isn't right?)...myself included.   We thought we did a pretty good job....trying to teach kids (and parents) about the game.  My son and the group of kids his age and the year older were always pretty good and took the game pretty serious.   One of my good friends coached and had a son a year older than my son.  He got asked to come down to one of the largest cities in Ohio (close to KY...right next to a river)....to have his son sub on a team down there where one of his best friends from HS had moved and had a son playing.  It was the "ritzy" side of town.     This was when he was 11 or 12.  It was a hot weekend....not ridiculous...mid-upper 80's....and the team had to play a couple games back to back.  During the game, the moms would come into the dugout with a cooler of ice and wet towels and put them on the kids necks and basically baby them the entire time.  My buddy's son looked at his dad and said "dad, if mom comes in here, I'm leaving!!"  It became the running joke with our kids up here all the way thru HS

PG nailed it!  Perfect 10.0!  I too have made friends of parents.  Was just catching up with one last night, saw them at a game and had a nice chat.  Believe it or not folks the coach and parent are not natural adversaries!!!

Some good stuff here. 

Just to clarify, I think watching practice is fine. But not from inside the fence on the field, IN the dugout, attempting to be in the coachs' ear.  Some may no agree, but I've never even heard of a high school around where I live that bans parents from any practice.  Seemed kind of odd to me when someone mentioned it.

FOXDAD, great post. Here's another video that was related which was also good....

https://youtu.be/JOdfG2XG4rU

Anyway, this post wasn't meant to bring anyone to the boiling point. It's an observation on how some parents interfere with their son's baseball. An onfield presence is just one way that occurs. Tearing them down after a practice in front of the other players is another. Careful what you do to your boy's psyche. I work in the school system and know most of the boys my son has played with along with every other athlete in the school. They always want to talk sports because they know my son is a multi sport athlete, and many conversations have revealed that they wish their parents would back off on the field, and wish their parents didn't even go; similar to what was expressed by players in another thread.  If you're not "that parent" then please disregard. This is a post created in the hopes of making baseball season a little more tolerable for the players. Honestly, some players endure quite a bit from micromanaging parents. They deserve a little more respect for all they do. Especially if they are juggling a full class schedule with upper level classes, getting good grades, trying to work out and be amazing on the field, trying to  get into college/get recruited and all that entails, and sometimes are hormonal, hot, sweaty,  and very hungry for longer than they care to endure, and being critiqued every minute of every day. And if they still mange to be a nice person after all that, pats on the back, that's probably what they need more of.  IMHO.

2020dad posted:

Foxdad, not looking for a fight but I just don't understand your point.  You describe how you go about parenting your athlete.  I have no issues with it.  But are you telling me that if I visit my son at college and bask in the southern sun watching his practice it makes me 'that dad'?  Surely I must be misunderstanding you.  And as for your coach who closes his practices...  I guess that is his prerogative, I just don't know why you would want to do this.  (this is not a political comment...) I would much rather build bridges than walls.  Once you put up those defenses and start banning parents from this or that...  just builds animosity right off the bat.  I live five minutes from our new facility.  I could easily drop and go home.  But one of my best friends from the team lives almost an hour from there.  So I hang out with him.  sometimes we go out to eat, other times we sit and watch a game on the big screen there.  But we do in fact see the kids practicing.  We have a new kid, very athletic, left handed and a first baseman/outfielder.  My son may be the ex-firstbaseman.  I know this cause I have seen this other kid in action.  He may be more useful in the outfield leaving my son still at first.  But if this kid starts in front of mine at first base I will know exactly why - he is better!  How do I know this?  I have watched it with my own two eyes.  I am prepared for it rather than it hitting me like a bullet between the eyes opening day.  When people can see disappointment and prepare, it is just much easier.  

My point is Mom and Dad need to let go and that also means trusting the coach with your son at practice. To me a parents' presence at practice sends an unwritten message to the coach that the parent doesn't completely trust the coach.  To me, it's a matter of trust.  Period.  Nothing more, nothing less.

Sure I watched my son's practices at the LL level and early travel ball, but not at the HS and college level. 

I don't need to see practice to believe the coach why another kid started in front of my son.  It would be motivation for my son to work harder in practice.  I wouldn't be questioning the coach, but I would be asking my son.

Why is it parents feel the need to watch practice at the HS level?  A teacher wouldn't allow parents in the classroom every day. 

My son is a freshmen and our high school football practices were closed and baseball practices are open. Both happen right after school at 2:45 and I have a job so.....

I have been to a few baseball intersquad scrimmages but wouldn't really care if the practices were closed. I think this, as usual, is a case of everyone feeling that their personal preference is the right way.

IMO, the key to being a parent of an athlete is cutting the cord and allowing the kids to figure stuff out on their own. I think SOME parents are afraid that their kids can have success without them. At this point, most of us should only offer moral or financial support and the rest is up to the kid. 

Last year, two separate 8th grade kids started crying after the coach "jumped" them so the parents are NOW trying to teach mental toughness. Although anything is possible, it's a little late in the game for that. 

You should coach the same no matter who is watching or not watching. I get the reasons behind not wanting to have anyone at practice, I really do. When I first started coaching that was my rule as well. But as time went on I changed my thinking for several reasons. To be honest the biggest reason was this. For some parents this will be the most they will ever see their son play in HS. They get to see him take bp, scrimmage, etc. For some its extremely enjoyable to hang out with the other parents and simply watch some baseball. Even if it's practice. Some of the Dad's also coach youth teams. It is an opportunity for them to see how we do things. Maybe they pick some stuff up. Maybe they have some questions and also maybe they have some good tid bit's along the way. It can build some good relationships between parents. Maybe they will never voice it, admit it or even acknowledge it but they get to see what we see. Also your parents can be a big help with many aspects you need help with. Concessions, field maintenance, boosters, etc. It's fine if they shovel dirt for 6 hours but they can't sit in the stands and watch practice? It just didn't sit well with me once I had some time to really think about it.

I am not knocking anyone that doesn't agree. Each coach has to do it the way he feels is best. I don't believe it builds animosity to close practices. There will only be a couple of parents typically that will dislike you for it. And if your a coach you should be used to that anyway. The vast majority of parents either won't be interested in coming or don't have the time. For the one's that do if they can abide by the rules you shouldn't have any issues. And the benefits imo outweigh any potential issues that are very easy to solve.

I had simple rules. Please come and watch. Enjoy spending time watching the team. But please refrain from any distractions. Do not interact with your player or the other players before or during the actual practice. When we leave the field they are yours. If you have anything you would like to talk to the staff about please give me a call. It's a long day and it doesn't end after practice. If you can't abide by these rules then you are not welcome. Otherwise great. 

Wow, I have never thought of going to watch my sons practice.  I was going to say that others parents don't as well, but realized that as I am not there I don't know for sure.  Yes when he was a frosh, before he could drive, I would pick him up from practice.  If I was a little early I would watch from the parking lot or the stands, but never from anywhere near the field.  And that was like the last 10 minutes of practice.  

In fact, we are personal friends with his HS varsity coach.  I have had one conversation about baseball with him.  It went like this.  Coach, "Hey joes87jr played well this weekend".  Me "Yep, want a beer?"

This is the first year 2018 will have his license during the spring season so I have no idea if I will go up to watch a practice.  If we would have an unseasonably warm day in March I would go up early to watch because I had to pick him up anyway and it was a great excuse to be out in the weather.  Now that I don't have to go up there I probably won't.  But if it's mid to upper 70's in March I can't promise anything.

This applies more to tournament ball than high school ball but son's college coach once mentioned a detail about our family in a conversation so I asked how he knew that.  He replied, "I watched you several times at games before I ever approached your son."  People always tell players, "you never know who is watching."  That goes for us parents too.  

FoxDad posted:

2020dad posted:

Foxdad, not looking for a fight but I just don't understand your point.  You describe how you go about parenting your athlete.  I have no issues with it.  But are you telling me that if I visit my son at college and bask in the southern sun watching his practice it makes me 'that dad'?  Surely I must be misunderstanding you.  And as for your coach who closes his practices...  I guess that is his prerogative, I just don't know why you would want to do this.  (this is not a political comment...) I would much rather build bridges than walls.  Once you put up those defenses and start banning parents from this or that...  just builds animosity right off the bat.  I live five minutes from our new facility.  I could easily drop and go home.  But one of my best friends from the team lives almost an hour from there.  So I hang out with him.  sometimes we go out to eat, other times we sit and watch a game on the big screen there.  But we do in fact see the kids practicing.  We have a new kid, very athletic, left handed and a first baseman/outfielder.  My son may be the ex-firstbaseman.  I know this cause I have seen this other kid in action.  He may be more useful in the outfield leaving my son still at first.  But if this kid starts in front of mine at first base I will know exactly why - he is better!  How do I know this?  I have watched it with my own two eyes.  I am prepared for it rather than it hitting me like a bullet between the eyes opening day.  When people can see disappointment and prepare, it is just much easier.  

My point is Mom and Dad need to let go and that also means trusting the coach with your son at practice. To me a parents' presence at practice sends an unwritten message to the coach that the parent doesn't completely trust the coach.  To me, it's a matter of trust.  Period.  Nothing more, nothing less.

Sure I watched my son's practices at the LL level and early travel ball, but not at the HS and college level. 

I don't need to see practice to believe the coach why another kid started in front of my son.  It would be motivation for my son to work harder in practice.  I wouldn't be questioning the coach, but I would be asking my son.

Why is it parents feel the need to watch practice at the HS level?  A teacher wouldn't allow parents in the classroom every day. 

 

I have had parents in my classroom.  Only a couple times but if they really want to see what is going on what do I care?  What do I have to hide?  I think our schools would be a whole lot better if parents had a whole lot more unfettered access to the classroom and not in a dog and pony planned way.  If you knew how little learning is done in most of these schools you would be shocked.  And maybe you would be singing a different tune about transparency.  

But let me turn this conversation around...  Why dos anyone care?  I guess when you come right down to it that is my biggest question, why do you (for those that do) care what other people are doing?  And why does it lead you to make a judgement about these people.  The bringing a drink to the dugout thing mentioned here...  I could care less, knock yourself out.  But I have - right hand to God - heard people complaining about that too!  That in their mind just walking to the dugout to give little Jimmy a drink makes you 'that parent'.  So where do we draw the line?  Wait, much much better question, Why do we have to draw a line in the first place????  Who cares, get over it, NEWS FLASH - PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT!!!

Live and let live!!!