Go to a school you love....

sobering.

We have thought about this for some time. This site has mentioned this many times.

You have to weigh the pros and the cons.

Everyday 2016 wants to go to a major D1 period.

At the expense of playing baseball there of course.

However, ultimately their happiness and college experience is of paramount importance.

Now we are focusing on club baseball, at the specific schools he is targeting.

We are much more comfortable with this path.

Makes you wonder if it was where he was that he didn't like or, more so, where he wasn't.  Maybe missing his GF and family a bit much?  Not fully prepared to be away from them?  Separation is a difficult thing, expecially the first time, even if you think you're prepared.

A kid from our high school went away to a prominent baseball D3. He missed his girl friend. He didn't return for the spring semester freshman year. She broke up with him a month later. My high school coach used to say "girls and curve balls" and roll his eyes.

Although there is probably some truth to being homesick, he had friends with him. One of his good friends from his HS football team, another guy who graduated the year before and a couple girls from the HS basketball team. He wasn't alone. His mom was coming that weekend to help him settle in. His friends from home would have been there every weekend cheering him on. They had huge road trips planned. He just kept saying that he hated the small town, didn't want to live in a small town, etc.

 

My daughter spent hours trying to talk him out of leaving school, which was only a couple hundred miles away. She wanted him to go. I know it's fun to blame the girlfriend, but some girls really are more mature than that.  He came home on Sunday. My daughter didn't see him until last night. Pretty sure she wasn't the draw.

 

Your title is "Go to a school you love...".  Did he not love it during the recruiting phase?

 

I'd be kind of curious to see a comparison between athletes and non-athletes on this issue.

 

While I think athletes are more prone to fall into a situation of going to a school because it offered him a chance to play - I would bet there is a good percentage of non-athlete kids as well that end up not liking their school either.

 

Like - how many kids have a "dream school" based on not much more than the school name?  How many decide to move hundreds of miles away based on a campus visit of a few hours?

 

I guess I'm fortunate in that the schools currently at the top of my son's list are all within commuting distance.    

I don't think he did enough to figure out if he loved it. Didn't really spend a lot of time there and didn't talk to the coaches a lot. Was real sure he wanted to play football and was willing to play almost anywhere. But he didn't think a lot about the actual town, living environment, etc.

We call them "Dream Crushers".

kandkfunk,

 

It is impossible to blame the girl. He is a young man and as such is in control of his own decisions unless he chooses not to be. But what impact could a small town have on a kid in a week? He has something else going on that he has not let come out yet.

 

I hope he finds what is right for him.

 

Good luck to him and your family,

 

Ted

       
       


Now that's funny!

Son has a friend who is at local juco and is a frosh to play baseball. After first few days, feels like he doesnt fit in...just different types of kids than he usually gets along with on the team. Thought about giving it up..playing baseball that is.....is now moved in and will watch and see how it goes. His dad would probably be crushed if he knew how he feels, coached him many years in youth ball and although loves to watch him play although pretty critical of him along the way. Totally agree to find the program that you want to graduate from and then where you see yourself playing, at least that is what we were told and tried to follow.

Very tough situation. 

 

I'll add that in addition to going to a school you think you'll love, one of the ideas we learned from this site was also to "go where you're loved". 

 

Being in the recruiting process again with our 2016, we have some schools / coaches that obviously love him.  And other places it's more obvious that he's wanted, but not loved.  It's tough when he loves a place and the coaches don't want him at all or at a least don't "love" him.

 

The ideal is finding that intersection.  The player loves the college, and the coaches / Admissions love him.  In a perfect world it would be wonderful if starts that way!

my son is at a top JC as a Fresh, Monday was 1st day of practice.  6am conditioning, baseball practice at 1:30.  He said 70% of kids threw up at conditioning, sophmores said after fall games are over it gets real tough.

 

My response via text,  be strong, keep your head up, breath deep and enjoy your vomit !!!  His response........Always !!!

Puke= Weakness leaving the body...

Kandkfunk,

Interesting story that I've seen play out many times.  Going to a school you love is a way to increase the likelihood it will work out in the long wrong but there are never any guarantees.  These are young adults with a different viewpoint on what is important.  As a parent you cross your fingers, say a couple Hail Marys, research the heck out if the situation and hope it works out.  Throw in athletics and it gets 2x more complicated.  I hope the young man finds a situation that works out better for him.

I would call this a maturity detour.  It may not be the envisioned plan, but it always works out.   

That's tough. we had a similar situation with our second son. No baseball or athletics involved. He decide very very last minute in HS (2 weeks before he graduated HS) to change colleges he wanted to go to. From the one about 20 minutes away to one 3 hours away. We jumped thru hoops to get him there and with financial aid, relied on HS guidance counselor who is a family friend to help get to right people quick. 5 weeks later (beginning of July) he was set.

 

It was actually opposite of OP situation provided, relatively small town we live in and going to a big city with a student population of over 20K at the college. A week in he said he wanted to come home. Didn't like it, to big a city and college etc.  We made him stay. He bitched and griped for about 6 weeks but began to make friends and got into the rhythm of college life there. Ended up making friends for life, got his degree.

 

He came home after graduating and is teaching in the school system he grew up in, bought his first house, has a very nice GF that seems to be turning into more but I firmly believe FOR HIM it worked out great to learn to deal with life on his own and he might not have been as well equipt to handle life if he had stayed at home and went to college

       
       

Thanks Fenway and others who have commented. I have no doubt that the young man will find his way. The situation has really made me think about how we go about identifying and researching schools for my son.

I hope everything works out.

 

I've heard, and saw with a couple of my daughter's friends who started college away last year -- that you HAVE to make them stay through the first semester. Some parents say coming home is not an option. Supposedly things look different after several months.

 

That was the case with these two girls, anyway.

 

That's not to take away from your point, K. It sounds like the young man just made a mistake, and moved quickly to correct it.

 

Again, I wish him well.

 

Maybe you may not like this.

Sounds to me like this young man is either used to having his own way or not working towards a goal. 

Its ok to change your mind, but leaving after a week or two is called quitting and no one likes a quitter. If he thinks making the team wastoo difficult, he would never make a D1 football roster.

Sounds like he was trying to make everyone happy but the one that mattered the most..himself.

JMO

Reality.  The first semester and year is very difficult and often you might think wth am I doing here.  It takes a real special person to play sports in any type of college program.

Many times son called and said he made a mistake...it's tough, you get through it. He had no option but to stay, we listened but he knew that he wasnt coming home because we wouldnt allow him to quit.

Sad situation. Interesting that all he talked about was playing football, he is doing well on team but doesn't stay to at least play the season, then change schools. Wonder if something happened on team. Did it become too hard for him? Hazing incident? 

Did coach try and talk to him about leaving?

hopefully he finds a good college fit near home