There are many threads here which focus on one aspect of recruiting or another and I thought I'd give a shot at creating a basic framework to capture the process and perhaps help families arrive at their ultimate college destination.
All a player can do is control a part of the process and NO MATTER his wishes and dreams, a player cannot shoehorn himself into a program which for - whatever reason - doesn't want the player.
So, what goes into the calculus of finding a right college? (notice, I didn't say THE right college; merely a right college, because there are many right colleges for every player and non-player.) IMO, it's baseball skills, academics, family finances and family geographical variables which factor into the college decision. (A Ven diagram is very useful tool to identify potential matches.(https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venn_diagram)).
Once the circles are drawn, the area created where all four intersect represent the subset of colleges upon which the family should focus.
baseball skills
Baseball skills are created and enhanced over a long period of time. Just about every college player I have met has played since they were at least 7 or 8 years old. Progress is incremental and not always on a linear path (for example, a growth spurt can create coordination issues which resolve as the kid grows into his new body).
Until the kid is into puberty, I believe that no one can determine if a kid has a chance to play beyond HS. But that doesn't mean that spending money on various lessons or playing and learning the game to increase baseball IQ is a waste. I don't believe that high end travel ball for kids up until 12 increases a kid's chances of success; but unless the kid gets injured or burnt out, I don't think it hurts, either.
The goal for those early years is to have fun, make baseball a family activity, for mom and/dad to play catch, hit ground balls, fly balls, and teach basic skills. It is not the time to fixate on being the best LL player. During this time the kid can pick up a love for the game which can be crushed by meaningless pressures to be the best kid in the league (and since physical development/lack of can be the biggest determinate, all a parent can do is make every trip to the field as enjoyable as possible).
Find a good coach - one who is proficient at the skills being taught and can communicate those skills in a way a kid can understand. As the kid ages evaluate if the coach is also progressing (my kid "aged out" of three or four pitching coaches between 8 and 14; but all were fine for a time) and make changes when necessary.
By seventh or eighth grade, you should be able to determine if junior is in love with the game; no love=no go.
If he loves the game, it's now time to really build those individual skills. Ask around and find the best coach (and the best coach is not measured by the cool electronics he brings) you can afford and to whom junior wants to go for lessons. Junior should understand that he must practice what he's learning - that most of the work he will do will be away from his personal coach and there will be lots of work to make tiny improvements. If junior isn't willing to put in the work, no more lessons.
While I don't feel that playing on a high end travel team is a must, whatever team he's on, junior MUST PLAY. If junior rides the bench, find a different team.
When junior is physically ready, introduce physical training. This is a process and the beginning of teaching the discipline of becoming a top player. Make sure the instructor in this area is qualified - too many charlatans lurk.
Comstantly evaluate his progress and commitment. You may need to back off or increase the pressure - every kid differs.
There is no cookbook on developing skills which, if followed, will produce the desired result. Ask ten college players how each got their skills and you'll get ten different answers; so educate yourself on what's out there and choose the best match for your kid.
Once HS begins, HONESTLY assess his skills, the improvements over the years and what you think is reachable. If anything, UNDERESTIMATE his skills; if you are far off a coach will tell you. The most experienced, knowledgeable coaches have had hundreds of kids pass through their program and will have a feel for where junior will end up skill-wise.
Once you have an honest feel, create a college list (end freshman year). If your kid isn't SEC, don't put an SEC school on the baseball skill list.
academics
Academics begins early - really early. And showing your child that it matters is critical - even though colleges don't care til HS. If junior forgot to turn in the homework (a problem with boys it seems), he can't go to his practice. If junior was too sick to go to school, he's too sick to play catch.
He should learn to read and be encouraged to read a lot. Open the paper and use baseball stats to develop early math comprehension. Doing this early will also help identify any learning issues which should be addressed ASAP.
Pay as much attention to his school performance (even in elementary school) as you show to his weekend game performance. Prove to him that the parents' priority is education - even higher than baseball. Over time, he will get the message. You are not looking for straight A's, you are looking for him to reach his academic potential.
Once in HS - from the very beginning - he should take the most rigorous course load he can successfully manage. (Ask your guidance counselor how to achieve that.) For some kids that means lots of APs, for others lots of honors classes, for others it means dual enrollment classes with the local college. Above all, cut him no slack - missed assignments and lack of exam prep should have consequences (and keep in mind the goal isn't punishment, the goal is getting him to do the work).
Test as early as he is capable; and pay for those review courses if necessary.
By the end of sophomore year, you should have a feel for the potential colleges to place on this list. But if you wait until HS to make academics a priority its way, way too late.
family finances
Finances are a great limiter of college options. You cannot count upon an athletic scholarship. So sit down and get a feel for what the types of colleges cost (JC, in-state, private, religious, etc.) and what your family can bear. Think long and hard about loans and where loans fit - it they do at all. Private schools run well over 50k a year and if you have multiple kids, wow!
By junior's HS year, you should be able to peer Into the future to get a rough feel for what is affordable. If you are self-employed some early planning could help increase FA, so don't be afraid to hire a knowledgeable consultant.
Tell junior what are family financial limitations so he's not blindsided when the family won't fork over $250,000 for him to play ball at a school that doesn't have the major he wants.
By mid-junior year, you should have a list of what's affordable and what's not.
family geographical variables and types of colleges
Some families cannot bear the thought of junior being across the country; others cannot bear the thought of junior going to the local school. Once size doesn't fit all. But figuring our where is acceptable can really narrow down the list.
Take every opportunity to visit colleges - whether it's the local JUCO or the one you drive by on that long family vacation. Does junior want small, large, rural, city, commuter, south, north, cold, warm, whatever?
Discuss every visit - the strangest things gets kids turned on or off. Also realize that his tastes will evolve. When he's old enough, walk each campus; find the student union, the diamond, the dorms, take the puff tour - anything to engage him. As he sees more schools, he will get the feel for what he likes and doesn't like.
Does he have a particular major he may choose (recognize that most kids switch majors regardless of whether they are athletes)? Can the school accommodate changing majors (e.g., a kid going to Rose-Hulman is going to an engineer).
By junior year, you should have a decent list of what is geographically acceptable and the types of schools he likes.
conclusion
That area where skills, academics, finances, and school location and type intersect is where a family should focus. By junior year, you should be able to see that intersection and hone in on the showcases and camps at which those school coaches will be present. You will have positioned junior for a successful result of a process which can seem out of control and random.