Invitation to visit

Have him email the coach back say he'd like to come up and see the campus and see if they can set up a phone call. Maybe it's an overnight maybe it's a facilities tour, but you'll get your answer soon enough. 

We did several visits that were not overnight.  We went to practice and viewed campus and dorms.  Several told us if we wanted an official visit they would give it but it was everything except the overnight which my son did not even do at UT in reality because he took a couple of friends so he stayed with us in the hotel rather than with the players.  They gave him a chance to talk to players one on one and see how they did things.  We went earlier than we were supposed to do each time to see them in action before they knew we were there. 

We are trying to ascertain level of interest. An over night visit isn’t necessary, but seems to indicate more serious interest. The coaches that have invited him for overnights have wanted to talk to him on the phone and have been more communicative in general. 

But these other schools always get right back to him when he emails or sends something. Yet they haven’t said the magic words about being “very interested” or whatever, haven’t asked for pre-read info.

We don’t want to plan trip unless he is on their list in a serious way. But it’s awkward to ask those questions. 

You’re right—it’s time for my son to pick up the phone and try to find out. We should get a clear picture so he can move on if need be. It just feels weird putting coaches on the spot like that...

Thanks for the input.

If they are "HA", how likely is he to get in on his own? The coaches are in more of a hurry if they need to nail down ED support, less if they don't. The fact that they haven't done pre-reads might mean that it's not so necessary at their school, or that they are waiting on others for ED. How large a roster do they carry? If he would get in on his own anyway, and they have a very large roster, then they may not recruit as intensely as other schools.

Agree that your son has to tell the coaches, "I'm really interested in your school, and would like to visit if you are really interested in me." Since travel is involved, you really have to know where he stands before planning a visit.  Hopefully your son is excited about visiting the ones where he has had pre-reads and talked to the coaches, since that's where the love seems to be. 

As a note, recruiting at all kinds of D3s continues into the spring; if he's not applying ED, he should be prepared to apply to several schools where he has had this kind of contact with a coach, and keep the dialogue going through the admission cycle.

Thanks for the input. 

Schools are both HA with low admission rates, so he would almost certainly not get in on his own. He would need baseball. Which is why I find it strange that the coaches haven’t asked for relevant academic info. Tells me they can’t be very interested.

But why string him along??

He visits two schools in the next two weeks so we are praying for a match there. He likes both coaches a lot from what he can tell, but school fit will have to be there. That’s the most important piece. 

So he continues to communicate with a number of schools. So curious about how it will work out.

TS2020 posted:

……………………………...

You’re right—it’s time for my son to pick up the phone and try to find out. We should get a clear picture so he can move on if need be. It just feels weird putting coaches on the spot like that...

……………………………….

You answered your own question.   Don't wait for them to respond.   Your son needs to take the initiative.  I understand most people like to text today...it is quick.   As you wind down your recruiting journey the stakes are higher.   This is a major life choice with a huge price tag.   A phone conversation gives context, tone and hopefully a sense of urgency. 

As always, JMO.  Good luck!

Thank you! 

Both overnight visits went well.  However, one school was the clear better fit. Son told coaches he needed some time to finish the exploration process—there are maybe five more schools in the mixer. But he said he could absolutely see himself there and said he thinks it’s amazing.

Two others have made offers, but son hasn’t visited and is a little less excited due to reasons of geography or academics.

Another two schools have been communicating with him and have invited him to visit. The first school I thought would be the one, initially. Son really hit it off with coach. But as the weeks passed, communication slowed, then stopped. Son continued to send emails and video here and there, but I think he decided to focus on the ones that seemed to really want him. Well, sure enough, said coach bubbled back up recently, asking questions and being all friendly again. Son told him he was so glad to hear from him because he had two visits coming up and another being planned. He told coach he was still very interested and asked for a phone call. THEN... my kid somehow missed a reply email from coach —and the call was missed .

He let the coach know right away that he had made that mistake and asked for a mulligan. Coach went radio silent again.

That week son went on visits, got two offers—fell in love with a different school.

Now we are left trying to decide if it’s worth it to go visit last couple of schools. They are far away. Expenses are adding up. But most importantly, son will have to miss even more school and HS baseball games. With a tough schedule this year, three more absences could be hard to rebound from. 

Son says he’d like to visit this third school for sure. I think the visits are fun for him and he likes the feeling of being courted maybe. But with one wonderful offer in hand, I’d honestly prefer he just be grateful and start getting excited about this opportunity. Call it a day. Then we can RELAX...

Husband disagrees. He says we need to see it through. We are at odds again. 

I’m trying to check myself—am I just kind of over this process?  Wouldn’t it be nice to wrap it up? Great school, done.

I'm not a huge fan of using terms like falling in love with schools but if your son fell in love with a school why continue visiting? Unless the other schools are academically and geographically superior I'm not sure it's entirely necessary. If your son wants to visit the third school that probably means he isn't really in love with the one school. 

I also wouldn't worry about missing HS ball to go on other visits. Your son is trying to be a college baseball player, fall games shouldn't matter too much at this point. He can also easily make up 3 days of school, get this sorted out before you start ruling out schools. He can miss a few english classes to figure out where he wants to go to college. Even if he weren't an athlete, he would still be visiting schools. 

TS2020,

Things are moving along nicely.  When offers are coming in...it doesn't get much better.  I'm in partial agreement with your husband.   Finish this out, or least have your son pick another school to visit that way he has at least 3 possible choices to base his final decision on.  We did the same, and honestly I was surprised in the end.   My wife, son, and I all had 3 different schools as our top pick (out of the final 3 he was considering), but son's choice only mattered.   I'm happy to report my son chose well and for the right reasons.  You only get one opportunity at being recruited to your first school.

Once you've completed and done your due diligence, then you can relax.   The finish line is very close.  Hang in there! 

Good luck! 

Don't relax until you have the letter from the admissions office.  Having more choices is a good thing, it's great that he really likes two already.  Just emphasize to him that if he wants to visit the third, he's going to have to be really on top of his schoolwork.  It is hard to miss school, for whatever reason.

My son basically did a year of college his junior year while we were busy with visits because he was taking a ton of AP and dual enrollment classes. Working with teachers was a good lesson for college, when he's kind of doing the same thing.

My son too had some good offers and really liked at least one school that we had visited two or three times. Then he started hearing from additional schools, including the one he is now at. And at a visit, he told the coach he would decide by his 18th birthday (which fell in September of his senior year). It wasn't something we had discussed, and I was a little "you're waiting until WHEN???"

In June or so after junior year, Iowa started talking to him more seriously. Five days before his birthday, he committed to them. If he had done things the way I wanted to, he would have committed to a nice school hundreds of miles away. Instead, he's had a great school two hours from home. I'm so glad he waited.

Trust your son's process as long as you can afford to. Sometimes they really do know what they're doing.

Thanks Iowa mom. I see your point. 

My husband feels strongly that he see at least one other school and program, even though he’d be excited for our son to attend the school he has his eye on.

Meanwhile son told me today, when he got marketing mail from this school, that it’s a “special place” and he would be so lucky to go there. So we talked briefly about how he can make that decision now if he’d like to. 

So tomorrow we have a family talk about what to do next and we’ll make a plan. Time is winding down for sure.

We have been assured by coach that admission is not a problem and that he is one of their top guys. Coach seems like a class act so far. But in the event that my son applies ED to this school (in five weeks) and doesn’t get in, won’t he have lost the other options already? He’s a strong student but in no way a kid who can count on getting into these other schools without coach support. And even if he did, wouldn’t he have lost his roster spot?

So the advice to see other things through, in case admission doesn’t work out, I’m not clear about. Don’t the coaches move on the second you tell them you’re going ED somewhere else?

He is going to apply to a couple of state schools and some schools that he would be interested in without baseball, as a safety net.

No matter how the coach phrased it that admission is no problem, it's never guaranteed until you have the letter from admissions.  If he doesn't get in, he may have lost those other options, because yes, the coaches will have supported other players in ED.  But, those schools may also have had ED players who didn't get in; or they may have EA and have had a player decide to go elsewhere.  Or, your son actually might be able to get in on his own.  At the D3 level, some might talk about limited roster spots, but there are officially no limits, so if they like your son, they would probably make room on the roster. 

Did you read this thread?

https://community.hsbaseballwe...-academic-d3s?page=1

There are stories there that are relevant.

TS2020 posted:

Thanks Iowa mom. I see your point. 

My husband feels strongly that he see at least one other school and program, even though he’d be excited for our son to attend the school he has his eye on.

Meanwhile son told me today, when he got marketing mail from this school, that it’s a “special place” and he would be so lucky to go there. So we talked briefly about how he can make that decision now if he’d like to. 

So tomorrow we have a family talk about what to do next and we’ll make a plan. Time is winding down for sure.

We have been assured by coach that admission is not a problem and that he is one of their top guys. Coach seems like a class act so far. But in the event that my son applies ED to this school (in five weeks) and doesn’t get in, won’t he have lost the other options already? He’s a strong student but in no way a kid who can count on getting into these other schools without coach support. And even if he did, wouldn’t he have lost his roster spot?

So the advice to see other things through, in case admission doesn’t work out, I’m not clear about. Don’t the coaches move on the second you tell them you’re going ED somewhere else?

He is going to apply to a couple of state schools and some schools that he would be interested in without baseball, as a safety net.

One thing I must admit is my son was never a high academic prospect, so ED never figured into our considerations. That probably makes a difference in it all. Lots of variables creating unique situations for each kid.

You do Early Decision only if your son is 100% certain that he wants to go there versus the other schools he is considering.  And you have to have done the math to make sure the college costs work.  Although financial consideration can be an excuse for not accepting if admitted on ED, when it comes to baseball, the coaches all expect the financial consideration to have been done when you are talking to these high academic D3s.  They cannot offer athletic money, and most of the elite schools do not offer academic money either.  So they expect you to have done the FASFA and determine if you are able to qualify for need-based aid.  Have you filed the FASFA yet?

My son got a lot of “we need you to do ED” interest but he maintained a consistent message of we need to analyze the various cost considerations, including the in-state schools. Coaches stayed interested all the way into the Spring until he had all of the application decisions.  They don’t like it, but the HA D3 coaches know this is the way the process plays out for many kids.  If the kid is good enough, they will wait.  So be sure your son is certain is the school is his choice before filing that ED application. 

Yes we completed FAFSA and also financial aid components that were required for pre-read. We are all set.

IOWAMOM23  my son doesn’t throw 90+ so D1 never figured into our considerations. Your son is a stud.

Now I’m wondering if I missed an important memo along the way...  If a player has gotten a positive answer on a pre-read at a D3 and coach says he will support his ED application with the Admissions Office, then (except for a few schools that don’t allow coaches to ‘tip’ athletes), isn’t admission fairly certain?  Assuming a kid hasn’t been arrested or failed a class in the meantime, my working assumption has been that an ED applicant with coach support is getting in, barring some weird set of circumstances.

Chico Escuela posted:

Now I’m wondering if I missed an important memo along the way...  If a player has gotten a positive answer on a pre-read at a D3 and coach says he will support his ED application with the Admissions Office, then (except for a few schools that don’t allow coaches to ‘tip’ athletes), isn’t admission fairly certain?  Assuming a kid hasn’t been arrested or failed a class in the meantime, my working assumption has been that an ED applicant with coach support is getting in, barring some weird set of circumstances.

Son just committed to D3 and is doing ED.  He confirmed ED for a "roster spot", had positive pre-read with a likely merit scholarship.  No FA due to income levels.  Handshake, smile, and  a 'welcome to the family' after the overnight visit.  That's what we got. Coach wants to know when ED submitted so he can notify Admissions, then just waiting for 'the letter' in December.  

You did not miss the memo, because there is no thread about this on here.  "Hasn't been arrested or failed a class" is coachspeak, the line that they all use in recruiting, but should not be taken literally.  It might mean "don't get any grade lower than you already have gotten."  It might mean something else.  Have your son ask the coach exactly what he needs to do in the way of grades, and then make sure he does it.

Chico Escuela posted:

Now I’m wondering if I missed an important memo along the way...  If a player has gotten a positive answer on a pre-read at a D3 and coach says he will support his ED application with the Admissions Office, then (except for a few schools that don’t allow coaches to ‘tip’ athletes), isn’t admission fairly certain?  Assuming a kid hasn’t been arrested or failed a class in the meantime, my working assumption has been that an ED applicant with coach support is getting in, barring some weird set of circumstances.

D3s can be very different.  I'd want to know what level of support my son would receive with an ED application especially if I have multiple interested schools who are very similiar.  Coaches get anywhere from 2-5 slots (in my experience with D3s).   I'd want to know if he is slotted or if he is just getting a recommendation (tip) from the Coach to Admissions.   One is almost a certain guarantee and the other is not.

BTW...My son was recruited and offered at an SEC school after one of their recruits was arrested.  I'm also aware of a NESCAC football recruit who's slotted offer was taken away after a brush with law enforcement.  It happens, and I don't think coaches are joking around when they say it.

Chico Escuela posted:

Now I’m wondering if I missed an important memo along the way...  If a player has gotten a positive answer on a pre-read at a D3 and coach says he will support his ED application with the Admissions Office, then (except for a few schools that don’t allow coaches to ‘tip’ athletes), isn’t admission fairly certain?  Assuming a kid hasn’t been arrested or failed a class in the meantime, my working assumption has been that an ED applicant with coach support is getting in, barring some weird set of circumstances.

Chico - so glad you asked this question.  We have been told by the head coach that he is using one of his slots with admission on our son and that my son is to apply ED.   We committed back in early September (D3), our completed application has been submitted, we have notified the coaches and we wait till December with what we feel is a certain acceptance.   It's quite unnerving as we will not apply anywhere else.  It's the school he wants too!  SAT's are around the top 25% at school, GPA towards the lower 25% (we are at a very good HS), real solid application.  I will be uneasy until the letter comes but I feel certain it's done based on everything.  It's just an uneasy feeling.  If anyone thinks we have this wrong let me know please....

If your son's grades continue on the path they have always taken, you're probably fine.  Just make sure they do.  Remember that they may ask for mid-semester grades before the decision in December, and for sure they will want fall grades after admission, and then a final transcript after graduation.  At HAs, the grades cannot drop too much senior year, even with a slot, even in the spring.  There's a reason that I started another thread called "no senioritis".  

anotherparent posted:

If your son's grades continue on the path they have always taken, you're probably fine.  Just make sure they do.  Remember that they may ask for mid-semester grades before the decision in December, and for sure they will want fall grades after admission, and then a final transcript after graduation.  At HAs, the grades cannot drop too much senior year, even with a slot, even in the spring.  There's a reason that I started another thread called "no senioritis".  

I replied to that thread.  We are in agreement!

I think it is critical to say that ED to a HA D3 even with coach support is not 100% guaranteed.  There are lots of anecdotes of kids not getting in.  It works out for the overwhelming majority of players, but there are some schools where it is not a 100% lock.  This is with all things being equal (no slippage of grades, no legal issues etc).  

As a side question, my son is already dreading the discussions with the coaches who have been great to him, but won’t be his choice ultimately. He feels badly about that already.

He’s a caring kid and I know he’ll handle it in a way that shows his appreciation for the interest and time people have shared with him. But what specifically should he say other than I’ve decided to go with X school?  

Maybe there’s a thread for this already?

He’s getting closer to choosing a school and we may not even visit the others now. He’s feeling pretty sure about it, more so than I even thought. And his reasoning is solid. We talked at length tonight.

My guys simply called each of those coaches and said this or something close to it:

"Thanks for recruiting me. I really appreciate the time you've invested.  I wanted you to know as soon as I could that I've committed elsewhere.   It was a tough decision for me because I really like your program. Thanks again for everything."

Inevitably, they'll ask where.  Its always easier on everyone if it's not a school in the same conference.  My 2017 DID turn down a school in the same conference and when 2019 bro came along, and was also recruited by that same school's coach, the coach told 2019 he hoped he wouldn't make the same mistake his older brother had. 2019 went elsewhere, too, but in a different conference.

Yes we have situation where the four schools son is looking into share two conferences. They are pretty competitive  with one another! Offhand remarks and digs being made... So my son knows he will most likely be playing against people who have hosted and recruited him.

I concur with Smokeinside's recommendation. My son called each coach who had offered and those who he was in serious discussions with - before posting announcements on social media. It's an important growing-up moment and not the easiest conversation to have. But if you handle it in a mature and professional way, you are doing everything you can to avoid burning bridges. We have found that this is a very small world and the coaches do talk... Good luck!

Between the calls, the emails, the trips and the tough conversations, this has been a fantastic growth and learning experience for our kid. He can write a pro email to an adult now, take care of his own thank you notes, pick up his phone and call an intimidating stranger and ask difficult questions. He’s grown up a lot because of baseball recruiting which was a nice bonus we didn’t anticipate!