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Ok - this question is for coaches but would surely like to hear what parents have to say as well.

A D1 coach (or other division) calls you up to inquire about a player. In your mind, you don't think the player is a D1 player (or other division) or are at least surprised someone is asking about the player. Do you tell the coach that? or Do you just give your honest opinion about the player? Perhaps something like, "He crushes low 80's pitching but we still are looking for more production out of him when the velocity goes up" or Do you focus on the positives of the player and kind of feel out from the other coach what it is he likes in the player and highlight those attributes?

Could be a million things you could say pro or con. I guess my question is about someone trying to influence things because they fear a bad reputation among college coaches. As we all know, 100 guys can look at a player and come to different conclusions. What if that college coach sees something in that player that he feels his style of coaching would be a good match for? Is it your job to set him straight if you feel otherwise?
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As a coach my responsibility to the player is to be honest with any college coach or scout who might contact me.

One way to ease the situation is to tell the coach my thoughts but suggest that if he has the chance the coach might want to check him out in action. I have done this on occasion and had coaches respond with "you were right" after they saw him.


I also feel it is my responsibility to tell them about the kids personality and any family situations that may be there.

Integrity is a key in this process---screw up once and word will get around very rapidly
I'm with TR you have to be honest with the college coach. If you don't see the same thing that he does then tell him something like "Coach thanks for calling about ________ but I'm not sure if I can agree with you on his level of talent. I would really think he would struggle at your level of play because he ____________. If you would like a schedule of our games so you might be able to watch him let me know and I will get it to you so you can see for yourself. I know that's my opinion and you need to make your own decision but I would love to help out in any way I can."

If a college coach signs a kid without really seeing him at some point - game, showcase, camp - then it's his fault. I don't want to build up some kid and then all of a sudden he falls completely short of expectations at that level. You can probably get away with it once but if you keep doing it over and over then you destroy your credibility. Eventually you might have a kid who can play at that level and the coach will blow you off because nobody else has lived up to your billing of them.

Besides it's your job to do what's best for the kid. Promoting him for a level he is not able to play at is setting him up for failure. Push him to a level they can compete at.
TRHit,
What makes you think it is even remotely your responsibility to talk about your players family situation with another coach?

Perhaps you should step back for a minute and think about the trust and confidentiality that player expects from you.

It is about what's best for the player right???

Do you worry about the liablity of discussing those issues?
Its all about credibility. You either have it or you dont. You will not have credibility if you are not honest with the coaches that call you about a player. Then when you have a player it will hurt your ability to help him. Just like if you do have credibility all you have to do is make a call and they are there.

It is your responsibility to tell the truth. If you do not feel the player is capable of playing at that level then you say so. If you believe he can you say so. College coaches will ask "What kind of kid is he coach?" "What kind of home life does he have?" "How are the parents?" "Does he work hard?" "Is he a good student." "How would you say his personal make up is?"

They are going to come see the kid play if you have credibility and they like what they hear. If you dont have any credibility they wont even call you. And if you call them and you dont have any credibility they are not even listening to a word you say.

The fact is it is very important to the coaches what kind of home life , parents and what type of kid the player is. If you want to be able to help the players that can actually play at the next level you have to be honest about the ones that can not. If you are not willing to be honest and truthfull you will be left out of the equation. Because you will have a rep as a guy that has no credibility.
I would answer all questions honestly and would not editorialize about the kids personal or home life unless asked to do so. The exception to that would be if there is a personal or home-life issue that is overriding in the kids life.

I think suggesting that a kid be seen in action is a good one.

Just state the facts as honestly as possible...if teh talent evaluator is worth his weight, he'll figure it out.

One thing to remember is that the majority of talent evaluators didn't just fall off the turnip truck, they know what is going on.
When my son was being recruited I tried to find out as much as I could about the coaches so why shouldn't a coach do the same? And if he's making the phone call that means he is really interested in finding out all he can about a player and it is that coaches (the one receiving the call) responsibility to tell him honestly how he feels about things on the field and off the field.

I am not sure that some people realize that many coaches recruit players for several reasons (besides ability). Chemistry is very important, beleive it or not that can make or break your team. You need different personalities to mesh, you need some chiefs and you needs some indians. If your team is too lopsided, it won't work, no matter how much talent you have or don't have on the team.

Personally if a coach called inquiring about son and never asked about other things besides how he plays baseball, I am not sure I would want him to play for that coach. JMO.
As TR and Coach2709 stated, honesty is the key.

TR also touched on this and I think it is the part that is hard for a College coach to access and that is how the kid does in class, how he adapts to a leadership roles, how does he take direction, how does he react to his peers, how does he handle defeat, how is his family life, how does he respect others, has his behavior been consistent over the years, hows the ego. These are questions that I feel are right up the HS coaches alley and probably only he knows those answers as they relate to Baseball. As long as it's done with honesty, these answers are a college coaches gifts.

Physical ability many times are in the eye of the beholder, but social skills, read over time and are usually right on target, and I feel that a college coach would respect anyone who would provide him information that is not in a stat book or happens between the lines.

Sorry Coach May, I think I jump on your thoughts
I had a few years ago I had coached a number of teammates of a well know potential high draft pick. He later went in the high in the draft. Anyways I heard a ton of not so good stories about the players make up and other issues about him. Everyone who knew the player knew about this stuff. Many scouts either overlooked it or did not do their homework and asked around.

The player did not sign and got into major trouble in college, tossed off his college team. Still many MLB scouts still made excuses for his behavior.
quote:
Originally posted by Mendozaline:
TRHit,
What makes you think it is even remotely your responsibility to talk about your players family situation with another coach?

Perhaps you should step back for a minute and think about the trust and confidentiality that player expects from you....


I couldn't agree with you more Mendozaline. And welcome to the HSbaseballweb? Wink
quote:
Originally posted by TRhit:
As a coach my responsibility to the player is to be honest with any college coach or scout who might contact me.

One way to ease the situation is to tell the coach my thoughts but suggest that if he has the chance the coach might want to check him out in action. I have done this on occasion and had coaches respond with "you were right" after they saw him.


I also feel it is my responsibility to tell them about the kids personality and any family situations that may be there.

Integrity is a key in this process---screw up once and word will get around very rapidly
______________________________________________
It is not a case of do I think so or not, it is a question of condemnation without solid proof

For Me I have no decision as yet and as I said regarding Bonds show me solid proof.

Some questions for McNAmee which nobody answered:

Why was he off the police force in three years?---was he thrown off because of the rape escapade and his lying?

Why was he a MLB employee with a sham of a PHD degree? Does that "degree" give him the right to give injections of any kind?

If the Mitchell Report and investigation was so complete how come all this new "stuff", I won't call it evidence, is just now coming to light?



TRhit


Probably just me, but I have trouble with the apparentdifferences in these two posts, and others on similar issues.
Mendozaline

I answer their questions---their is no confidentiality involved ---he plays for our program --I want the kid to have the best shot he can have in the right place and have the coach fully aware of what type of person he is getting--all this PC garbage is not even in my picture--

Let me give you an example---I had a player a few years back who was Latino and I got a call from a college in the midwest about him-- their entire team was blond and freckle faced---get the picture--I asked the coach if he realized that the young man he was talking to me about was Latino----silence on the other end of the line-- I told him I am not sending the young man out there where he will be totally out of place-- he was the only person in his household who spoke english ---is this PC I doubt it---BUT---the kid could have gone there and been totally lost---we care about our kids and their futures--

Does that answer your concerns?
Last edited by TRhit
quote:
Originally posted by TRhit:
Mendozaline

I answer their questions---their is no confidentiality involved ---he plays for our program --I want the kid to have the best shot he can have in the right place and have the coach fully aware of what type of person he is getting--all this PC garbage is not even in my picture--

Let me give you an example---I had a player a few years back who was Latino and I got a call from a college in the midwest about him-- their entire team was blond and freckle faced---get the picture--I asked the coach if he realized that the young man he was talking to me about was Latino----silence on the other end of the line-- I told him I am not sending the young man out there where he will be totally out of place-- he was the only person in his household who spoke english ---is this PC I doubt it---BUT---the kid could have gone there and been totally lost---we care about our kids and their futures--

Does that answer your concerns?


What right did you have to potentially adversely impact that young man's option that he had earned.
Didn't he deserve to discuss the situation with that college coach and make the decision if it was a "fit" or not.
For me it is hard to fathom someone saying that "he plays on our program...there is no confidentiality."
For me, that is an amazing post.
quote:
Originally posted by TRhit:
Mendozaline

I answer their questions---their is no confidentiality involved ---he plays for our program --I want the kid to have the best shot he can have in the right place and have the coach fully aware of what type of person he is getting--all this PC garbage is not even in my picture--

Let me give you an example---I had a player a few years back who was Latino and I got a call from a college in the midwest about him-- their entire team was blond and freckle faced---get the picture--I asked the coach if he realized that the young man he was talking to me about was Latino----silence on the other end of the line-- I told him I am not sending the young man out there where he will be totally out of place-- he was the only person in his household who spoke english ---is this PC I doubt it---BUT---the kid could have gone there and been totally lost---we care about our kids and their futures--

Does that answer your concerns?


Please also be sure to mention if the kid lacks proper table manners, personal hygeine, has a lisp, braces on his teeth, or a cow lick in his hair. I wouldn't want a kid to feel out of slightly place on a team full of white fashion models. Eek

Such micro-management and the usurping of the recruiting process is irresponsible and probably illegal.
Last edited by Dad04
quote:
Originally posted by TRhit:
Let me give you an example---I had a player a few years back who was Latino and I got a call from a college in the midwest about him-- their entire team was blond and freckle faced---get the picture--I asked the coach if he realized that the young man he was talking to me about was Latino----silence on the other end of the line-- I told him I am not sending the young man out there where he will be totally out of place-- he was the only person in his household who spoke english ---is this PC I doubt it---BUT---the kid could have gone there and been totally lost---we care about our kids and their futures--


WOW! In my business, that is a lawsuit sure to happen. Plain and simple. To me that is an incredible story to share publicly.
While its true that college coaches are probably looking for insights into players makeup that are not readily apparent, I think high school and travel coaches must be careful.

Similar to when calling companies for a reference on an former employee...often, it is what is NOT said that is most interesting.

I am not suggesting that high school/travel coaches not be truthful....but college coaches should make the decision on a kid and not have the decision made for them. The reality though is that hs/travel coaches develop relationships with college coaches over the years and - like in business - the college coach depends upon the hs/travel coach that they know so well to tell them "you want this kid" or "stay away".

There is no question it is a very tricky situation.
Who are you to decide what was best for that young Latino?
I can just hear it now in the athletic department: cross off that kid from our list. Just learned he is a Latino.
I wonder if the silence on the phone by that coach was "astonishment" and a quick assessment of legal liability. Did the coach happen to end the call saying thanks TR for letting me know he was Latino?
As justbaseball said, people get sued, justifiably.
quote:
Originally posted by CADad:
One of the funniest, and at the same time saddest, things about the Archie Bunker character was that he never realized just how bigoted he was.


Very insightful CADad.

TR - Neither I nor anyone else will ever teach you anything. You appear to be set in your views. I lived in Blacksburg, Virginia when Va. Tech had their very first black basketball player. I would imagine that some folks thought he wouldn't be "at ease" in a small southern town surrounded by white folks. Lucky for all of us that he and his coach didn't hold that against him.

I imagine Jackie Robinson didn't feel at ease either early in his career. Lucky for us he overlooked that.

I suggest it is NOT your place to make decisions about where a certain kid will feel comfortable for him (most especially along the lines of race).

You will likely respond with something snippy as usual. I don't really care, you don't have a leg to stand on in this debate.
Wow, how revealing!

How insulting. This isn't honesty, this is distorted perception. You may say you were trying to "protect" the recruit, then you sit down with the recruit and discuss your concerns. Then it's up to him and his family to decide what's best. Where DOES a coach draw the line?

We had ONE latin player on the team, the fans, the team, the coaches, everyone just adored him. It didn't bother him in the least. We also had ONE black player, they loved him too. We also had one jewish player, they loved him too. Would you say those were not good fits in South Carolina?
Last edited by TPM
TPM

Again you speak with no knowledge of the situation just as the others are doing--

What I did , WOW ,whether you like it or not worked


BTW dont you always speak of FIT

ESTONE

I am glad you know me so well---I have been known to be wrong mnay times

DAD04
Again you have no idea what I mean---I am not even sutre that you know what you mean
Last edited by TRhit
quote:
Originally posted by TRhit:
TPM

Again you speak with no knowledge of the situation just as the others are doing--

What I did , WOW ,whether you like it or not worked


BTW dont you always speak of FIT

ESTONE

I am glad you know me so well---I have been known to be wrong mnay times

DAD04
Again you have no idea what I mean---I am not even sutre that you know what you mean


I don't know you ... and unfortunately its getting to where I'm not sure I want to. All of your posts are either confrontational with everyone, as if they are wrong or misguided etc. etc. OR your post is very self righteous.

It would just be nice if you'd lighten the rhetoric a little.

All of the above is completely aside from the relatively asanine comments you've made above.
Last edited by Estone28
quote:
What I did , WOW ,whether you like it or not worked


It did NOT work! For that young man, you took away HIS ability to make a decision for himself. If your account is correct (?), then the coach was complicit in the overall act.

This is very sad. I am not surprised one single bit that it happened. But it is very, very disappointing nonetheless.
TR,
The fit is for the player and family to decide, NOT YOU. You created a negative perception in that coaches mind, don't try to defend what you did.

If you had concerns for the player you could have talked to him about it, then he could have decided what was best for him, not you.

You always tell us that you let your son decide, yet you took that outof teh players hands. Sad.
Last edited by TPM
This is an unbelievably important but terribly sad thread.
If it is true this college coach stopped recruiting a young man based on learning of his race, it shows the impact that travel coaches and others might have.
It paints a distasteful picture that, without his knowledge, the race of any high school student athlete would be included in a discussion of his ability to attend a college and play baseball at that college, or more importantly, be used by a college coach and travel team coach to disqualify a potential student athlete.
quote:
Originally posted by infielddad:
This is an unbelievably important but terribly sad thread.
If it is true this college coach stopped recruiting a young man based on learning of his race, it shows the impact that travel coaches and others might have.
It paints a distasteful picture that, without his knowledge, the race of any high school student athlete would be included in a discussion of his ability to attend a college and play baseball at that college, or more importantly, be used by a college coach and travel team coach to disqualify a potential student athlete.


There is definately power and responsiblity that goes with the coaching shorts. Most of the time coaches do the right thing, I think. Sometimes power is abused. I've seen it before first hand at the travel level.
Typical "left out coast" thinking---it had nothing to do with race---it had to do with proper fit---the kid would have been home before the first quarter break---

I am far from being a bigot, despite the posters thoughts---check out our roster every year and that roster is by invite

I have had Jewish players turn down offers from school,because there were notenough Jewish students there--- we are talking FIT once again

As a coach are we not supposed to look for the best situation for a player BASED ON OUR EXPERIENCE ???

TPM

Again you speak out of place---do you know how much the player and his family conversed with me regarding this?---I THINK NOT !!!!!


Again you are way off base
Last edited by TRhit
quote:
As a coach are we not supposed to look for the best situation for a player BASED ON OUR EXPERIENCE ???


Does the kid have any say in where he goes? TR, editorializing on behalf of a player and his family, based on YOUR experience is not part of your job, imo. You assume the player and his family don't have the skills to make an important decision, based on THEIR experiences, needs and desires.

If that was true how did they ever make the decision to play for your team? You are a coach, not a puppet master.
Last edited by Dad04
quote:
Originally posted by TRhit:

I have had Jewish players turn down offers from school,because there were notenough Jewish students there--- we are talking FIT once again

As a coach are we not supposed to look for the best situation for a player BASED ON OUR EXPERIENCE ???


You are not supposed to look for the right fit, they are. Possibly that might have been in the players best interest, but again that was for HIM to decide. Again telling that to the coach eliminated the players chance to make his own decision.

I am assuming those players made that decision on their own based on what was best for them, why wouldn't you give the "latin" player the same consideration?
Stop calling me out on this, direct your comments to those others who have responded as well. Or can't you do that?

If you spoke to the family about it, then it was THEIR decision to say NO thank you, not for you to tell the coach, I don't care how blunt anyone claims to be.

If that's part of what went down, well then why would you tell half a story? You always getting on others for not giving the FACTS or whole story, though it's ok to do the same? What was the purpose of the original post, to let us know how much you beleive in honesty? Don't confuse honesty with something else.
I have said this before--I learn tremendously from this site and its participants--I learn we all have opinions but when I speak my piece I am not trying to convert you, I am telling you what I/we did for a player---The title of the thread was OFFERING INFORMATION---I have done that---to be continually taken to task for my thought gets boring---it truly does


Am I not able to advise a player that I think he is better at school B instead of School a and c becuase of whatever the reason I am aware of---NO I AM NOT A GOD but I am Darn Sure More than you with regard to what those players needs are---they have spent time with us and if we can assist them we will


From now on I will not offer any more information---I will just post links etc and terse responses--direct and to the point---
TRhit...I enjoy most of your posts. You are wise in many ways and have had a tremendous amount of baseball experience. You are funny, eccentric and I can always count on you to make this message board interesting. BUT you were wrong to have said what you did about your Latino player without at least talking to the player and his family about the situation first. I would not have had as big of a problem if you had said that you gave an honest account of the players baseball abilities, answered all of the recruiter's questions, and after the call talked with the player and his family, who then asked you to call the coach back to tell him that THE PLAYER felt that he could not adjust to the situation/college and would not like to be considered for a baseball position there. I know you can't or won't admit it. But you may have done this player harm. We probably will never know.

Before you plan on not posting anymore just because someone calls you out on this particular issue, think about the many times that you have called other people out on various issues. Don't get mad. Just take it as a learning opportunity...an "AHA" or a "light bulb" moment if you will.

On a lighter note, this reminds me of a time back in 1957 during the Civil Rights movement when my grandmother, who was a maid for one of the richest white families in Columbia, Mississippi, got a call from her employer, Mrs. Rankin, telling my grandmother to let her know if the Civil Rights workers, who were in our town to protest the segregation laws preventing the right to vote for Black people, WERE BOTHERING US. The Fox protecting the Hens!!!!

You cannot make decisions like you did based on race. The player should have been the one to decide whether or not he wanted that opportunity. If my son's coaches had said that about him, he would never have gotten the opportunities he has had. My son has been the only Black on most of the teams that he has played on for most of his life. It was up to us, his parents, to prepare him to feel comfortable and be able to interact well with players of other races. I can't tell you how many times during summer and fall ball seasons my son was the only Black person on the team and therefore, one of the four players sharing a double bedroom at a hotel on the road. Because Brian McCann and my son hit it off well, Brian always wanted my son as one of the four in his room. Kids will adjust. It is us, as grown-ups, that seemingly have the problem.

Please don't get mad at me. I like you and I'm like you, almost. I try to tactfully call it as I see it.

In the world of baseball there is so much that screens you out that you don't want your race to be a negative factor. Because there is nothing in this world that you nor I, nor anyone, can do to change your race. Well, I take that back. Some of us do pass, but that's a topic for another day. Big Grin
Last edited by Catfish
IMHO the sole responsibility for all recommendations whether for employment or scholarships is to present the truth of any relationship three areas.

Length of time
position
whether they would be considered to bring back for position

In baseball a coach may make comment about position, skills level, of the 5 skills, with pitchers clocked time and records based upon factual data.

But a reference may not say anything derogatory about a prospect...to do so opens you up for lawsuit for defamation, slander and or preventing the individual from an opportunity.

The courts have upheld this principle time after time.

TRhit you think you helped your player but it sounds to me like you treated him like he was a pet...not a person.
JMO
Last edited by LLorton
Catfish nice post. I would never claim to walk in your shoes, but we've been traveling with baseball teams for 12 or 13 years. I have never seen or heard of a problem, issue or comment about a coach, player or their families ethnicity. It's just been about baseball. That's what surprises me about this topic. Perhaps I'm naive.
Last edited by Dad04
We may be getting a just a TINY bit off topic here. However, it has always been my opinion that almost everyone in my generation and earlier has a bit of bigot in them. OK, my father in law doesn't have a bigoted bone in his body, and I met 1 person while I was in the service who lived his religious beliefs so wholeheartedly that he couldn't be bigoted, but they're exceptions to the rule. We are the products of our times and we can't help it. What is important is that we recognize when our actions are reflecting our biases and quickly correct our actions to do the right thing. That's almost as important as not passing our biases along to our children either intentionally or unintentionally.
catfish

I said none of you knew my relationship with the family of the player or with any of our players for that matter


Again all assume things without any knowledge---you read into things where you should not


Perhaps you need the lightbulb moment---wake up and read the facts not what you want to read into it


LL

I would say I treated him more like my son--

You people are very amazing with your thought process
Last edited by TRhit
TRHit - I guess I am willing to consider that there is more to this story and to give you some credit on this, instead of judging by all that we know so far. It doesn't sound like something I would do, but I am curious about a couple of things:

1) You stated that we don't know the relationship that you had with the family and the player. I agree with that. Are you asserting that your relationship with them allowed you in good conscience to bring up his ethnicity with the coach?

2) If the coach, instead of silence and then shutting down the conversation, had asserted that the player's ethnicity would be no problem for the school, would you have then discussed it with the family/player? If this is the case, I could see that you may have rooted out bigotry on the other end rather than displayed your own.

Just curious and trying to think outside the box of the other replies.
Last edited by rwulf
TRhit...You are right. I have no knowledge of your relationship with the family and player. I know that what you did and said was what you thought was the right thing to do. I am not questioning that. And Fanofgame, I would never, ever question or pass judgement on TRhit's character. I only "know" TRhit from this message board. It would not be wise for any of us to question anyone's character based solely on what we post. And as I thought about it more, TRhit could have known or had been told that this particular coach had questionable character and would have not been fair to a Latino. Who knows????

The point I want to make is that often times in our attempts to "protect" a player, we can actually harm them, especially when we base our decisions around race. We have to be very careful in this area.

I've "known" TRhit for more than six years now. He knows we would be lost without him.
quote:
Originally posted by Catfish:
TRhit...I enjoy most of your posts. You are wise in many ways and have had a tremendous amount of baseball experience. You are funny, eccentric and I can always count on you to make this message board interesting. BUT you were wrong to have said what you did about your Latino player without at least talking to the player and his family about the situation first. I would not have had as big of a problem if you had said that you gave an honest account of the players baseball abilities, answered all of the recruiter's questions, and after the call talked with the player and his family, who then asked you to call the coach back to tell him that THE PLAYER felt that he could not adjust to the situation/college and would not like to be considered for a baseball position there. I know you can't or won't admit it. But you may have done this player harm. We probably will never know.

Before you plan on not posting anymore just because someone calls you out on this particular issue, think about the many times that you have called other people out on various issues. Don't get mad. Just take it as a learning opportunity...an "AHA" or a "light bulb" moment if you will.

On a lighter note, this reminds me of a time back in 1957 during the Civil Rights movement when my grandmother, who was a maid for one of the richest white families in Columbia, Mississippi, got a call from her employer, Mrs. Rankin, telling my grandmother to let her know if the Civil Rights workers, who were in our town to protest the segregation laws preventing the right to vote for Black people, WERE BOTHERING US. The Fox protecting the Hens!!!!

You cannot make decisions like you did based on race. The player should have been the one to decide whether or not he wanted that opportunity. If my son's coaches had said that about him, he would never have gotten the opportunities he has had. My son has been the only Black on most of the teams that he has played on for most of his life. It was up to us, his parents, to prepare him to feel comfortable and be able to interact well with players of other races. I can't tell you how many times during summer and fall ball seasons my son was the only Black person on the team and therefore, one of the four players sharing a double bedroom at a hotel on the road. Because Brian McCann and my son hit it off well, Brian always wanted my son as one of the four in his room. Kids will adjust. It is us, as grown-ups, that seemingly have the problem.

Please don't get mad at me. I like you and I'm like you, almost. I try to tactfully call it as I see it.

In the world of baseball there is so much that screens you out that you don't want your race to be a negative factor. Because there is nothing in this world that you nor I, nor anyone, can do to change your race. Well, I take that back. Some of us do pass, but that's a topic for another day. Big Grin

That was an unbelievably well-written post Catfish. I am sure people can find things to be bitter about if they look for them. Have never detected any bittness in what you have to say and that is admirable.

Back to this topic. Can't believe how it has blown up like this. I was only thinking about baseball information when it started and some of these other things would not have occurred to me.
quote:
Originally posted by Catfish:

You cannot make decisions like you did based on race. The player should have been the one to decide whether or not he wanted that opportunity. If my son's coaches had said that about him, he would never have gotten the opportunities he has had. My son has been the only Black on most of the teams that he has played on for most of his life. It was up to us, his parents, to prepare him to feel comfortable and be able to interact well with players of other races. I can't tell you how many times during summer and fall ball seasons my son was the only Black person on the team and therefore, one of the four players sharing a double bedroom at a hotel on the road. Because Brian McCann and my son hit it off well, Brian always wanted my son as one of the four in his room. Kids will adjust. It is us, as grown-ups, that seemingly have the problem.



Very touching post! TR may try to help the kid, but what he said to the other coach is absolutely unacceptable. The other coach went silence was not because he agree with TR, it is because if the other coach responsed to such remark about race and being caught by the media, he could easily lose his job. Just like years ago, the old University of Oklahoma coach who "praised" a black player with good intention and got fired during the season. American people won't tolerate such remark no matter where you live!
Last edited by coachbwww
catfish,

that wasnt directed at you. There was a comment about archie bunker earlier and I dont know how to post the quotes. But it was more or less saying that he didnt even realize he was a bigot.I was just applying that to say ti THrit that his comment to me does not make him a bigot.
My point was to all people who posts on here to just be mindful of comments made to other posters, people get heated up on this site and to me sometimes just get rude to other posters. I am not singaling out anyone its just something everyone needs to be mindful of. Like you said you only know people from their posts and hard to really know the entirety of a person by posts made on the hsbbw.
Its great to come in here and discuss things and to help people out and to disagree but I just think sometimes people say too much.
You are still all assuming things---I am speaking from experience with other players who did not "FIT" and returned home after a terrible experience-- talk about "learning" as a coach


Perhaps we go a bit too far in your eyes but we consider ourselves to be somewhat of a "guidance counseler" as well as a coach
quote:
Perhaps we go a bit too far in your eyes but we consider ourselves to be somewhat of a "guidance counseler" as well as a coach


I consider myself a great singer in the shower and with my iPod blasting. My wife has another opinion.

Dude I can't sing, guidance counselors aren't baseball coaches, and baseball coaches aren't guidance counselors.
QUOTE]Originally posted by TRhit:
Typical "left out coast" thinking---it had nothing to do with race---it had to do with proper fit---the kid would have been home before the first quarter break---

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if it had nothing to do with race, why did you tell him ? your right we don't know everything that was said in your talk with the coach. only what you posted . i agree with the right fit but luckily todays players are color blind ,and it took a long time to get there. that is the right fit.
quote:
Originally posted by TRhit:
Perhaps we go a bit too far in your eyes but we consider ourselves to be somewhat of a "guidance counseler" as well as a coach


Be a guidance counselor and guide him, do not speak on his behalf.

You came on here explaining something that you did and maybe in your attempt to do so you may have misinterpreted yourself which leads people to other conclusions. All you needed to do was explain that it may have come off as wrong, but you had all good intentions for helping the player. But I understand that is very difficult for you to do, instead it becomes an issue that we don't know the circumstances and we don't know what we are talking about. Then instead of half a story, maybe the whole would have been more appropriate.

I understand your concerns. I live in an area with a very diverse culture, it is not for everyone, I have been here for 30 years, it grew on me, it's part of my life and my kids life, so where ever they would go they are used to diversity and can exist anywhere. I have had a few websters who have asked me about UM, before their visits, what was my opinion, and my suggestion is and always will be, you need to come visit and have your son decide for himself if this is the right "fit' and discuss that with the coaches. I never eluded to the fact that it may be different than what they are accustomed to, that is their choice. One parent said their son just loved it, was a new experience. For others it wasnot a good "fit". We all don't really know what a good fit is my son decided it was not a good "fit" for him either. But HE decided, not us. that's the point and we are his parents.
Last edited by TPM

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