Skip to main content

16 replies

Raising Boys

K KmomNH100+ posts
I didn't write this but I can certainly relate to it. Enjoy.

RAISING BOYS
>
> The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...
>
> Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
>
> 1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
>
> 2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
>
> 3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
>
> 4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
>
> 5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
> When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
>
> 6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
>
> 7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
>
> 8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
>
> 9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
>
> 10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
>
> 11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
>
> 12.) Super glue is forever.
>
> 13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
>
> 14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
>
> 15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
>
> 16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
>
> 17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
>
> 18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
>
> 19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
>
> 20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
>
> 21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
>
> 22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
>
> 23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
>
> 24.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Original Post

Replies sorted oldest to newest

J jojab10+ posts
I sent the original list to my wife (and mother of our four boys) and she reminded me that we had a few of our own to add, when she responded {my comments inserted}:

"We are fortunate, we only know what happens when you play virtual baseball {some silly game I bought the boys that hooks up to your tv and the pitch comes at you and you swing} too close to a big screen TV {a cracked screen when my 10 year old let go of the small cushioned bat that comes with the game}, what happens when do soft toss and hit towards a sliding glass door {I was pretty sure I had set the net far enough in front of the door...when did my 10 year old start swinging that hard? Why was it in front of the sliding door in the first place? Good question and a long story but it had to do with a space constraint issue.}, and when you let a five year old play catch with a seven year old with a window in front of the five year old {I should have noticed that sooner too but I was busy with the older ones}. Oh ...and the biggest kid of the family trying to get the attention of the family dog by throwing a tennis ball at her while she was sitting in front of a window {oops...that would be me, of course...yep, you guessed it, I broke a window, too}."

Geez,

Joe
FutureBack.MomFutureBack.Mom1,000+ posts
Without intending to insult the grown up boys on this site, my favorite example of how the 'boy' stays in most of the dads as they grow up ... one sunny morning, while going out to retrieve our newpaper from the driveway, I see our (relatively) new neighbor outside with his 8 year old son. Dad is teaching son the finer art of throwing a ... BOOMERANG, not something we see very often here in the OC.

In an attempt to show son how a boomerang actually works, dear old Dad throws it up the street (thank goodness it wasn't down the street towards our house) and the errant boomerang proceeds to hit and break a dining room window ... HIS dining room window. Wife comes out to the front yard, walks around to the window, and then looks directly at her son. "It wasn't me !!" son hollers. Red-faced dad acknowledges his teaching mistake while friendly old neighbor, in robe and slippers, laughs hysterically, but finally calms down long enough to let Wife know who the best window repair people are in the area. Can't see that dad anymore without remembering the look on his face that morning ...

Sometimes the boys we raise aren't always under the age of 18 ... 14
C Coachric1,000+ posts
Mom and Dad were living in a 2nd floor apartment over my sister(her house). My nephew and my 72 year old(at the time) Dad were as usual throwing a baseball across the room. The ball hits a window that is holding down a window a/c unit. The unit goes out the window and down into the yard. Mom screams from her bedroom, "What was that noise". Dad says, "I don't know, I'll check it out. My nephew runs and hides in the bathroom, and my Dad never checks out anything. He actually goes over and pulls down the broken window and shuts the blinds. My sister runs upstairs and says, "An a/c unit just flew by our window and its sitting in the yard. Mom goes to dad and says, " didn't you hear or see that the a/c fell out the window, whats going on here". Dad responds with, " its fall anyway and we were getting ready to take it out and put it away". Mom asks, "How in the world did it fall"? He answers with, Me and Jon were throwing the ball and all of a sudden we heard this boom". My Mom checks the window and finds it broken and pulled down with the blinds shut and says, "I guess all the noise was from the window falling closed and the blinds coming down too". He actually says, " I was wondering how an a/c unit falling could have made all that noise".
Well, my youngest sister(mom of Jon) was on the phone laughing hysterically to me in Florida within 20 minutes of this strange occurence. I spoke to my Mom and she says, when I confronted him about it, he was watching a baseball playoff game and said everyone was making too much noise so he had to raise the volume, and just sat in the chair. Needless to say, Mom sent him right outside to walk the a/c unit to the trash.
Dad's my Idol.
BBfamBBfam500+ posts
You boys scare me. We are raising 4 boys and already have many stories (and trips to the Dr. for stitches and casts). I knew we were in trouble when I caught my husband teaching our 4 year old to climb the side of our stone house. Son is at the top and Dad is cheering him on. Just last week, while at oldest son's practice, the 3 others come running to me with an interesting object--a knife buried in the ground under a tree stump. Had to turn it in to authorities. Raising boys is never a dull moment.
IB Innocent Bystander500+ posts
If you want to be a fireman, don't start your brothers club house on fire because it'll burn down before you get the fire out!
If you put your little sister in an old style dryer that starts automatically when you shut the door, she'll scream, get mad AND dizzy! But only if it takes you a while to get back because you ran to tell her sister she was ready...
If you bury a shot gun shell in the dirt 2 inches, put a spike to that little bubble thingy that makes it fire, it hardly makes any noise!
If your garage floor slopes out and your next door neighbor lives down hill from you, don't take the family wagon out of park with the engine shut off because the brakes won't work very good and you'll take out half the neighbors house.
If you don't know how to swim and you've made a small boat that leaks kinda fast, Don't try to take it across the neighbors 20' deep 300' diameter pond cause it gets really hairy!
These are just a few interesting things that I learned in my childhood . captain
Last edited by Innocent Bystander

Add Reply

Post
.

Membership Required

We're sorry. You must be signed in to continue. Sign In or Register
×
Are you sure you want to remove from your Block List?
×
Loading...
×
When you block a person, they can no longer invite you to a private message or post to your profile wall. Replies and comments they make will be collapsed/hidden by default. Finally, you'll never receive email notifications about content they create or likes they designate for your content.
Note: if you proceed, you will no longer be following .
×
Advanced Search
Advanced Search
Link copied to your clipboard.
×