BigHit15, I didn't take it as name callingI just used your term. I wasn't offended and hope you aren't as well. Again we don't agree. I am glad that your cup is half full as well. BTW, Mine's full of diet coke. The poster wanted people's opinions. I gave mine. Do I know anything at all? I'm getting dumber by the minute. Someday, I'll be really smart! LOL! My opinion doesn't correspond with yours. You know what, now whattodomom can read all of this and make her decision based upon what all of our experience has enabled us to post. whattodomom, its in your court now. Good luck!
"There comes a time when you have to stop dreaming of the man you want to be and start being the man you have become." Bruce Springsteen
quote:
I didn't take it as name callingI just used your term
You never used my term. I never used the term narrow minded. I used narrow point of view, I used narrow way of thinking. Just want to be accurate.
the Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"
I never advocate allowing a kid to quit. You are teaching them that when life doesn't work out the way you want, just give up. I don't agree that just because the young man played JV as a junior means he is not good enough. I know of a young man who plays at my sons school that is a junior playing on JV on a very good 4A team (state runnerups last year). They have 4 very talented pitchers ahead of him (3 seniors and LHP junior). He is very talented and could start Varsity at nearly any other school in town. He keeps a good attitude and works hard to support his team. He is getting a lot of benefit from just being a part of the team and that should be enough, not everyone has to be the star.
http://www.highviewheat.com/index.asp
http://www.kristensfastpitchworld.com/index.asp
http://www.highviewheat.com/index.asp
http://www.kristensfastpitchworld.com/index.asp
This is a post I read in a Louisiana High school prep forum. I thought it would be good to post it here.
" Hi, I'm not gonna post my name, but I am gonna tell you a story about quitting if you ever thought about quitting a high school baseball team, this story happened a few days ago. I am a senior this year, and I have been playing high school ball since my sophmore year( i was a manager my freshmen year). I was never the most talented athlete, and I realize that especially this my senior year. Coach always talked about getting the job done, and I went home a few nights in a row, and I thought about what coach had said, and that would literally bring tears to my eyes, because it made me really feel like I wasn't getting the job done. I realized i was not getting the job done for my team, so I decided to quit.I miss my baseball team tremedously, but there is no way I can go back now. If you ever thought about quitting a baseball team, please do me a favor and reconsider. Baseball is my life, and I miss it alot. I realize now that getting a job done isn't being the best player on the field and starting every game, it is about rooting for your team in the dug out, and maybe once in awhile getting to pinch hit for someone. I just thought I'd share my story, so if anyone is thinking about quitting they wouldn't."
This was posted on www.nola.com post # 4080
" Hi, I'm not gonna post my name, but I am gonna tell you a story about quitting if you ever thought about quitting a high school baseball team, this story happened a few days ago. I am a senior this year, and I have been playing high school ball since my sophmore year( i was a manager my freshmen year). I was never the most talented athlete, and I realize that especially this my senior year. Coach always talked about getting the job done, and I went home a few nights in a row, and I thought about what coach had said, and that would literally bring tears to my eyes, because it made me really feel like I wasn't getting the job done. I realized i was not getting the job done for my team, so I decided to quit.I miss my baseball team tremedously, but there is no way I can go back now. If you ever thought about quitting a baseball team, please do me a favor and reconsider. Baseball is my life, and I miss it alot. I realize now that getting a job done isn't being the best player on the field and starting every game, it is about rooting for your team in the dug out, and maybe once in awhile getting to pinch hit for someone. I just thought I'd share my story, so if anyone is thinking about quitting they wouldn't."
This was posted on www.nola.com post # 4080
The key point which has already been made and that is that the boy played JV as a junior---- I agree that tells you something---that means he has to earn a starting varsity spot just like a frosh, soph, jumior or any other senior this year---if not starting makes him and the parents unhappy--so be it-- if the boy wants to quit because he is not playing a lot or starting then that tells me something about the boy-- let the boy make the decision--he is a maturing young male-- if he decides to quit that is his option and as parent I would not try to dissuade him--let him enjoy his senior year as he sees fit
TRhit
TRhit
whew, tough crowd here - says anyone who ever "makes an adjustment" in life is labeled a quitter. but there are a few points to be made here -
1) he sees it as a negative situation
2) his absense would not hurt the group (team) - as they are not depending on him
3) and, there are other positive things he could devote his time to
I could back fulfilling a commitment to others who are depending on you, but it's "sick" to think that hanging on in negative situatuions which are optional is a preferred way to build character??
hitting the books, a part-time job and some time on a hobby, would far surpass what some here suggest
lefties? - - - they just aint right!
1) he sees it as a negative situation
2) his absense would not hurt the group (team) - as they are not depending on him
3) and, there are other positive things he could devote his time to
I could back fulfilling a commitment to others who are depending on you, but it's "sick" to think that hanging on in negative situatuions which are optional is a preferred way to build character??
hitting the books, a part-time job and some time on a hobby, would far surpass what some here suggest
lefties? - - - they just aint right!
baseballdownsouth,
Your post re-enforces what I said in my first post about it "haunting" him. The contributions this poster refers to are just as important as the stud making the play. I hope whattodonow mom will drive home the facts and not the emotions... he made the team, he can be a contributor, he has a part to play.
I hope he sits down with his Coach & gets his questions answered, his role defined.
Your post re-enforces what I said in my first post about it "haunting" him. The contributions this poster refers to are just as important as the stud making the play. I hope whattodonow mom will drive home the facts and not the emotions... he made the team, he can be a contributor, he has a part to play.
I hope he sits down with his Coach & gets his questions answered, his role defined.
In HS I sat behind the same kids I played ahead of on every other team. I was a 16yo senior while they were 16yo sophmores and juniors. I wasn't good enough at 16 to be a major contributor to the team and the coach didn't have any incentive to develop me for the next year. It can be tough on a kid but all he can do is work at it as hard as possible and try to earn playing time.
Don't quit. A young man's time in baseball is almost always too short. Enjoy being on the team, playing with friends and becoming a better baseball player.
Although it is rare, he could still play at higher levels. We had a light hitting catcher in HS who went on to hit over .350 in JC ball and eventually played professionally.
Don't quit. A young man's time in baseball is almost always too short. Enjoy being on the team, playing with friends and becoming a better baseball player.
Although it is rare, he could still play at higher levels. We had a light hitting catcher in HS who went on to hit over .350 in JC ball and eventually played professionally.
BEE
It is not being a "tough crowd" --it is fact--how many juniors play junior varsity unless there is a stud ahead of them which I do not think is the case here.
If the boy cannot accept his role then he can become a "cancer" on the team--not saying he will but it is possible--usually kids who are discontent grumble to themselves all the time while sitting on the bench--not labeling him a as quitter but more of a kid who perhaps does not belong there in the role he has given--
Keep in mind-- a starter on JV as a junior does not a starter on varsity as a senior make !!!!
I do not know the boy nor all the circumstances but just on a baseball basis one has to be concerned as to whether or not his talent warrants his being on the team, much less a starter. I am sure you have seen,as have I, many marginal players who as seniors did not make the team because the underclassmen coming up from JV were superior to the marginal senior players--there are only so many uniforms and spots on the roster and if the coach is one of those who plays the best 9 regardless of the class then that is the way the cards are dealt.
HS ball can be a reality check !!!!
TRhit
It is not being a "tough crowd" --it is fact--how many juniors play junior varsity unless there is a stud ahead of them which I do not think is the case here.
If the boy cannot accept his role then he can become a "cancer" on the team--not saying he will but it is possible--usually kids who are discontent grumble to themselves all the time while sitting on the bench--not labeling him a as quitter but more of a kid who perhaps does not belong there in the role he has given--
Keep in mind-- a starter on JV as a junior does not a starter on varsity as a senior make !!!!
I do not know the boy nor all the circumstances but just on a baseball basis one has to be concerned as to whether or not his talent warrants his being on the team, much less a starter. I am sure you have seen,as have I, many marginal players who as seniors did not make the team because the underclassmen coming up from JV were superior to the marginal senior players--there are only so many uniforms and spots on the roster and if the coach is one of those who plays the best 9 regardless of the class then that is the way the cards are dealt.
HS ball can be a reality check !!!!
TRhit
Thanks for the input - I should have added that he has not said YET that he wants to quit. I do think his ability may be some question but certainly his ability IS at least the 9 spot. (he played enough varsity last year to letter for what that is worth). I think they put him on the team because he always has a big smile and a good attitude. You can often hear his voice coming out of the dugout to cheer on ANY player in the game. He is also first choice for designated runner. I do agree that you cannot quit just because something is hard. The coach is a good coach I think but the parents are not allowed to talk to him. We have to talk with the assistant. The school is upset with him already for a different matter. In a region game where our record is on the line I agree that you always put the best nine on the field regardless of what the parents like. This was not a region game, did not officially count toward their record and we KNEW we would likely lose. I guess he just wanted his 9th graders to get some experience. We're sticking it out - new games coming up.
whattodomom...sounds like your son has a good head on his shoulders...and that his attitude is solid...
good luck...keep us posted...we all want the best for our sons...and challenges will make them stronger...
Pam
good luck...keep us posted...we all want the best for our sons...and challenges will make them stronger...
Pam
I think many have touched on one main idea here. He will have to accept his role on the team to make it a worth while experience if he stays. I would hate to see any kid quit - I wholeheartedly agree with coachmay - but we don't know if this kid can handle his role if it is too little of play time for HIM. Every player has to understand the role that they play on the team - and that role can change, too! I would love to think that he will get his chance to do something that HE values as important on this team. I'd like to think that the coach feels this way, too. But I guess we don't know all that might be going on in this particular situation. It is a great question raised - mom, let us know how it works out. My best to your son in his senior year! I hope what ever he does, he does well!!
Interesting thoughts from me
"WE" are sticking it out--interesting
Facts have changed--just another example of what is posted on site is not what the true story is--things get lost in "translation"
This is why I prefer " one to one" discussion-- questions can be asked as the discussion progresses
TRhit
"WE" are sticking it out--interesting
Facts have changed--just another example of what is posted on site is not what the true story is--things get lost in "translation"
This is why I prefer " one to one" discussion-- questions can be asked as the discussion progresses
TRhit
I think the solution is rather simple: have the player talk one on one with the coach and ask what his role on the team is and is there anything he can do to earn more play time. Once he gets his answers then the decision on how to proceed is totally up to him. At least this way he makes an informed decision. If the coach indicates that what he has seen thus far regarding playing time is what he can expect for the remainder of the season; then i dont see why him quitting is a bad thing if he is so unhappy.
I’m with Bee and Hoop. Lets look at this from a different angle (I think the proper one). This is not about being a quitter. This is about making choices. If what many of you say is true, then my son is a quitter. He was an all-state football player but quit football! He quit basketball! He quit hunting. He quit fishing. He quit helping me in the yard. He just happened to choose baseball. He hasn’t "quit" baseball yet but that day will come. Has nothing to do with talent or ability or one’s ability to contribute. It’s about what HE considers the right choice. There are many things that should guide an individual’s choice but the sport of baseball is not one of them. What should impact one’s decision are the commitments you make to your teammates, your coaches, your parents, and yourself. The right choice is the choice made by each individual while considering the impact that choice will have on others.
Fungo
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
Fungo
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
I am from the school that you never quit. But ...
Two years ago, my 12-year-old made his Little League's all-star team. He made it clear when he was selected that if the coaches didn't think he was going to get significant time, he would turn down the spot. He would have to give up a lot of "good stuff" to be on the team.
Well, the coaches promised things and they didn't deliver. He wanted to quit the team and, grudgingly, I let him, three games into the tournament (he never played in the field).
He did not play baseball last year; wanted to part of it. But we moved last summer and this spring, he asked us to get him a physical so he could try out for the junior high team. We were stunned.
His first game is today and he seems to be having fun. Half of the kids that played on the Little League all-star team are no longer in the game.
You never know.
Two years ago, my 12-year-old made his Little League's all-star team. He made it clear when he was selected that if the coaches didn't think he was going to get significant time, he would turn down the spot. He would have to give up a lot of "good stuff" to be on the team.
Well, the coaches promised things and they didn't deliver. He wanted to quit the team and, grudgingly, I let him, three games into the tournament (he never played in the field).
He did not play baseball last year; wanted to part of it. But we moved last summer and this spring, he asked us to get him a physical so he could try out for the junior high team. We were stunned.
His first game is today and he seems to be having fun. Half of the kids that played on the Little League all-star team are no longer in the game.
You never know.
Who's to say that his quitting would be a non-factor? What happens if they have an injury or two during the year at his position? Now they use an inexperienced underclassman or someone that never played the position. Does this hurt the team?
http://www.highviewheat.com/index.asp
http://www.kristensfastpitchworld.com/index.asp
http://www.highviewheat.com/index.asp
http://www.kristensfastpitchworld.com/index.asp
Whoa! Reading these reply's let me be clear. This is a good coach andmy son has a lot of friends on the team. These are good kids - playing or not. I would NEVER talk to the coach about my sons playing time,or go to the principal or cause a problem in the stands. The would embarrass my son and not be our style. The coach can play who he wants to play - that's for certain. No issues of starting or not starting, just SOME time. I just want this last year to be a good experience whether it's baseball or PING PONG!
hmmm,
then by wtdomom
"He wants to quit, he is tired of the bench and thinks he will get very little playing time this year based on what we have seen. Many parents are upset about what is going on"
and now by wtdomom
"he has not said YET that he wants to quit . . . . I think they put him on the team because he always has a big smile and a good attitude. You can often hear his voice coming out of the dugout to cheer on ANY player in the game. . . . The coach is a good coach"
somtimes a parent needs to back off because they can't see the "forest for the trees" or are a bit confused about what a tree even looks like
this player is a young adult who should be capable & ready to figure things out on his own
lefties? - - - they just aint right!
then by wtdomom
"He wants to quit, he is tired of the bench and thinks he will get very little playing time this year based on what we have seen. Many parents are upset about what is going on"
and now by wtdomom
"he has not said YET that he wants to quit . . . . I think they put him on the team because he always has a big smile and a good attitude. You can often hear his voice coming out of the dugout to cheer on ANY player in the game. . . . The coach is a good coach"
somtimes a parent needs to back off because they can't see the "forest for the trees" or are a bit confused about what a tree even looks like
this player is a young adult who should be capable & ready to figure things out on his own
lefties? - - - they just aint right!
OldVAman
Whether anybody agrees with it or not your son was up front. However coaches can not promise anybody anything. It is all about how you perform on the field.
Whether anybody agrees with it or not your son was up front. However coaches can not promise anybody anything. It is all about how you perform on the field.
Will
I guess I didn't do a very good job of making my point regarding this thread.
You never know. Talk to the coach. Find out where you stand. Then make a decision.
That's what my son did that year. He told him he wouldn't take the spot he all he was going to do was sit. The coach told him he wouldn't sit. He did. So he left.
Clearly, it's different with a high school senior. Or is it? Lots of LL kids never play again. Lots of HS kids don't, either. If you love the game and not the situation, there are other ways, times and places to live the game.
How many of we old-timers throught we were done with baseball, only to come up on the over-30 leagues? Frankly, those were the best years of my baseball life and, in some ways, the best baseball I played, including HS, college and semi-pro in younger years. Everybody played because they wanted to play. There were no agendas; no false hopes or dreams.
Perhaps that is what the folks in Utah might want to hear. Do what you must do make it the best senior year you can.
Somehow, someplace, baseball will be waiting.
I guess I didn't do a very good job of making my point regarding this thread.
You never know. Talk to the coach. Find out where you stand. Then make a decision.
That's what my son did that year. He told him he wouldn't take the spot he all he was going to do was sit. The coach told him he wouldn't sit. He did. So he left.
Clearly, it's different with a high school senior. Or is it? Lots of LL kids never play again. Lots of HS kids don't, either. If you love the game and not the situation, there are other ways, times and places to live the game.
How many of we old-timers throught we were done with baseball, only to come up on the over-30 leagues? Frankly, those were the best years of my baseball life and, in some ways, the best baseball I played, including HS, college and semi-pro in younger years. Everybody played because they wanted to play. There were no agendas; no false hopes or dreams.
Perhaps that is what the folks in Utah might want to hear. Do what you must do make it the best senior year you can.
Somehow, someplace, baseball will be waiting.
Oldvaman
You make a good point about talking to the coach. I always found that honesty is the best policy. If a player wants to know tell him the truth. He may not like it but a coach should be up front. Kids are not stupid they know when you are feeding them a line. As far as senors go as I have stated before there seems to be some unwritten rule in some places that seniors must not only make the team but play.
You make a good point about talking to the coach. I always found that honesty is the best policy. If a player wants to know tell him the truth. He may not like it but a coach should be up front. Kids are not stupid they know when you are feeding them a line. As far as senors go as I have stated before there seems to be some unwritten rule in some places that seniors must not only make the team but play.
Maybe it's the word "quit" that makes this sound so awful. Sooner or later your last game will be played, be it high school, college or pro. My son decided he didn't want to play in college. He had an academic scholarship to a great school. Then a coach from a small NAIA school came to see him and talked him into being a part of his "rebuilding" program. Now he's a redshirt freshman and still not playing much. But he loves being there and being a part of it. If he called me today and said he had had enough, it would be okay for me.
Maybe this other kid is mature enough to know when he's through. Maybe he's not considering "quitting". Maybe he's considering "retirement".
Maybe this other kid is mature enough to know when he's through. Maybe he's not considering "quitting". Maybe he's considering "retirement".
whattodomom-
How far into the season are you in Utah?
Some parts of the country don't start til March and if he's only a few weeks into it then maybe its too early to throw in the towel regardless of one's opinion on quitting.
How far into the season are you in Utah?
Some parts of the country don't start til March and if he's only a few weeks into it then maybe its too early to throw in the towel regardless of one's opinion on quitting.
We are in southern Utah where it is a much warmer climate - still it's only about a 3 weeks into the "real" season. We are still playing region games and games that are non-region and "don't count" (of course they all count). David will not talk with the coach, he says "you can't ask the coach why you are not playing, that will just make him mad". I told him to wait another week or two, and just make sure he is having fun. Have fun in the dugout, have fun on the bus, have fun in practice and cheer on the team. If you get another chance just have fun while it lasts. In the end if he decides to quit - he has to talk with the coach face to face and then NEVER bad mouth the coach or the team. When asked by others why he is not on the team he should just say he decided he was ready to give it up.
Develpomental task of adolescent: learn to assert yourself and your independance; make your own decisions
Developmental task of parent: let them (go)
Developmental task of parent: let them (go)
I agree with "Just me". I would LOVE to see him assert himself. It is not his style - I cannot/willnot/should not chnage that.
Letting go... easier said then done - but will still have to be done.
On the up side - they did call me and ask me to donate to the snack bar funds! I just love that that is the only phone call I ever get!
Letting go... easier said then done - but will still have to be done.
On the up side - they did call me and ask me to donate to the snack bar funds! I just love that that is the only phone call I ever get!