Should I let me son quit?

I'm a firm believer that kid should enjoy what they are doing their senior year.

If he's not playing and he's asking you if he should quit, that means he wants to quit.

I think that he and the rest of the seniors should quit and stick it in the coach's ear!

How about going the route of getting together and trying to have the coach replaced. If there is enough support the AD would have to act. It's a shame to have kids miss their senior year because a coach is unfair. Are the 15 yr. olds as good or better than the 18 yr. olds??

1. He needs to learn to deal with adversity.
2. He needs to open a line of communication with the Coach, asking what he needs to do to improve his game, to earn that start position, etc.
3. Do not let him quit! It will haunt him worse than not starting!
4. Be honest about his ability. JV as a junior says something.

We're in a pretty strong 5A district. We have a couple of 2nd year varsity players (sr.'s) who are "warming the pine". It's tough on them. (and, tough on parents, and spectators).And we have a couple Jr.s still on JV.
The Coach has to win games. Senority is secondary to ability, usually.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by caseyatbat:
How about going the route of getting together and trying to have the coach replaced. If there is enough support the AD would have to act.

Welcome to High School Baseball

Will
I not sure what you mean?

Caseyatbat

Well if someone wants to get into high school coaching in some cases this is what you have to deal with that is if you want to deal with it. "Parents" do not like what is going on. Get together. Make enough noise. Get coach fired. Mission accomplished.

Your talking about a competent coach Will and I was assuming otherwise from whattodomom. I believe a coach should never lose the confidence of his team as it appears has happened here. Why were they not cut in the first place? And was the Coach trying to make a point by playing all 15 yr. olds? What good does that do for anyone involved?

Caseyatbat

Competant incompetant? Who decides?

The AD should have that responsibilty. Will,you have a pm

How do I read PM.

click on My Space and then Private topics

some times dealing with adversity means accepting the fact that a situation is not working.
the poster has said that this player is not going to play ball in college, this takes away the reason to tough it out for college.
Now I also belive in once you start something you should finish it, but I wont go so far as to say a person should never quit any thing.
I would suggest that this young man be told to really think about this before he makes his decision, if after he has done so he still wants to quit, well who are we to live his life. I am sure his parents are aware of all the reasons to TOUGH it out.
I was talking to a mom last night in the chat room and was trying to help her to think of ways to get her son onto a college team. I thought about it today and I think my advice was no good. you see college ball is not for everyone so what is left. to have fun and feel like he is part of something special and contributes to the team.
If this player is not going to play college ball, is not haveing fun aand is feeling seperate from the team what does he gain from staying.
This young man was on the JV as a junior and did ot quit! he has already shown his character.
if it was only about toughing it out the coach should have put the young man on JV, he could have played and he would have known from the beging the situation.
The average player representd by the HSBBWEB is a high standerd to live up to, if this young man does not have the same dream as our son's well maybe he is waisting time with ball that he could be useing to work toward his dream.
It does not sound as if the team will be hurt if he is not on it, he wont be hurting his chanes at college ball, lol he wont be a ruined young man because he quit, maybe he alredy has something in mind to do with his extra time that he will enjoy and have FUN doing.

If he wants to quit, let him. If he stays, tell him that he could only do it if he intends to be a postive influence. A team is comprised of all they players, and they all contribute whether they are in the game or not.

Casey, the coach ought to decide who plays and who doesn't play. Perhaps this boy simply is not good enough -- in the coach's view -- to make the lineup. If that is enough to get the attention of the AD, then thank the Lord I am nowhere near this place.

I think I would ask your son "Does he love practicing and working out with the team?"

"Does he think he can encourage others from the bench?"

With the information we have in hand I know this isn't easy for your son.

Being a senior if he sees himself finishing this quest, then I would support him but...

it's not always that easy ... being a family that says you finish what you start, it might be one of those lessons I would use to help develop "his inner strength" at handling this ....

but...there's more to this than I can truly give a solid answer for ....but I would quiz your son and try to be objective about his love for the game and how he sees the next few months...

jemaz
She said all the seniors sat. I agree that the coach has the right to make the lineup. The way I read it the team has a serious problem and it just might be the coach.?? Or it might not..

Getting rid of the coach is crazy. If the kid was a jv player as a junior, that should tell you something about his ability. I, for one, agree with Beenthere. Let him enjoy his senior season. At the point that just being part of the HS team is not enough, then let him enjoy his senior season. Good luck!

Will, will wonders never cease?

Texas2004's post is very wise!

the Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"

quote:

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Originally posted by Bighit15:
Getting rid of the coach is crazy. If the kid was a jv player as a junior, that should tell you something about his ability. I, for one, agree with Beenthere. Let him enjoy his senior season. At the point that just being part of the HS team is not enough, then let him enjoy his senior season. Good luck!

Will, will wonders never cease?

Texas2004's post is very wise!


Will,will wonders never cease? Please explain

http://www.eteamz.com/floridabombers/
"I love the HSBBW"

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Will and I are always on the opposite side of the coach/parent argument. We actually agree on this one. That is very rare. Nothing else.

the Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"

bighit15 Thanks
Its time to turn the computer off --too much reading for one day I guess.

This is the reason with all the high school problems today. If your son isn't good enough to play, it has to be someone else's fault. If he can't play, let's get together and fire the coach!! I guess when he gets a job, and they promote someone who is younger, lets call the exec's and fire his boss. If that doesn't work, get together and fire someone, cause it can't be your son who just isn't good enough??? Give me a break.

Maybe the freshman are better than the seniors? We are only hearing one side of the story.
I am a firm believer that if a sloppy error is made, you get pulled, something that our coach does not do. He did not hit for a reason.
I would never tell my son to quit, but if he is really miserable let it be his choice. Sticking it through shows a commitment, something all kids need to learn these days.

I'm really going to sound dumb here but ... Human nature plagues us all. Human nature says take the easy way out. At all times there are forks in the road one hard one soft. Human Natures says why risk heartache, pain, suffering when you can take the easy/soft route. Ok, so that is about 1 minute of my 15 minute speech on human nature but the hard route is the one least traveled and for good reason. HOwever, the rewards are so great. It is the feeling that one feels when you have made it despite superior odds. It is that "this is in your face" determination that makes people successful later on. IT IS INTRINSIC MOTIVATION! I say don't quit and let the kid step up himself and talk to the coach one on one. JMHO!

"There comes a time when you have to stop dreaming of the man you want to be and start being the man you have become." Bruce Springsteen

Big Hit and I always seem to butt heads on this parent thing. Years ago coaches coached and parents were parents. We agree to disagree. In some cases the tail wags the dog. whether he wants to admit it or not coaches are turned off by some parents who meddle and make it their business to make things difficult. How many good coaches leave because they just do not want to deal with it. Getting called into the AD or principal's office to defend what you do and how you do it because Johnny got cut or did not play or whatever is happening with more frequency. It is very simple. You play the best players and you put the in a position where they will be most likely to help the team win. I still would like to know where some of the posters think there is a rule where seniors must 1. make the team and 2. If on the team play.

Coachb, I agree with most of what you say, but there also comes a time when the reality sets in that it is over and that one will not play at the next level. Players realize that the burning desire is not there anymore. Why suffer through just to suffer through. Start the next phase. It is not an indictment of one's personality, just a realization that life goes on. If he would rather get on with life and doesn't have that desire to be on the team or represent the school or root for his team mates and enjoy being part of the team, then move on. Why torture yourself for the second half of the senior year?

the Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"

BigHit15, I don't know the kid. I do know that 20 years from now, that kid(I believe most kids) is going to wonder and second guess themselves. i talk alot about what makes a good teammate. One is sacrifice for the team. You know, being a part of something is really special because you are a TEAM. I think many people are missing that in life. A sense of common cause, common sacrifice, and then the rewards of the whole. Maybe I'm just a relic. I had a kid say that this week. He said I was a relic because I had the old ways. Then he said he intended to be a relic someday. I understand your argument and that the kid wants out. I worry about the kid that will/might regret that decision down the road. Heck, I don't have all of the answers! I'm just an old guy that is worn out himself but still loves the games and the kids. Being a part of the team still means something to me. That is what I want for that kid.

"There comes a time when you have to stop dreaming of the man you want to be and start being the man you have become." Bruce Springsteen

Anybody can quit, it takes grit to finish what you start.

My son is a senior and had never played organized basketball in his life, he is a baseball kid.

He tried out for the basketball team and made the varsity. The coach told him up front he would be a practice player primarily and not get much game time. The coach was right and he only saw about 15 minutes of game time for the whole season.

He often hated the fact but the coach was up front from the beginning so he stuck it out. I am often more proud of the fact he stuck it out than I am of him being a 4 year varsity starter in baseball.

I know this baseball player was not told at the beginning of the year that he would ride the bench but being on JV as a junior should of said something to him and his parents.

Just my humble opinion.
Seadog

The choices we make dictate the lives we lead.

I guess I should add , the parents being asked to help the team is not a reason to quit, what other parents say or talk about is not a reason to quit, his amount of PT is not a reason to quit. what mom or dad think aout the situation is not a reason to quit ,lol geting low on reasons to quit huh... there are some but all players have to deal with these. I have learned how mom or dad feel has nothing to do with it.

I might add this too...

When a player goes out for a team sport there are no guarantees that he will see the field...

and with that in mind...that would be something to consider ....

I know of a boy who just finished basketball with my son...I don't think he saw 15 minutes of playing time this season...and yet, he said the coach has built his confidence and that the coach has made him a better player...

but, with this boy's team with freshman playing and not seniors...I would need more information...to draw the line in the sand...

Will...Just because you are a "coach" that doesn't mean you know what you are doing and the parents don't know anything about the sport or how the game is played.

All it means is that you are a qualified "teacher" at the high school level and you bid for the coaching job. For all we know, no one else bid for the job except the woman badminton teacher.

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I still think that all of the seniors should quit and stick it in the coach's ear!

quote:

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i talk alot about what makes a good teammate. One is sacrifice for the team. You know, being a part of something is really special because you are a TEAM. I think many people are missing that in life. A sense of common cause, common sacrifice, and then the rewards of the whole.

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What if he doesn't have a coach like you or is not experiencing those feelings? What if he sticks it out and 20 years later says "what was I thinking?"

With all due respect making loss of love for a game or team sports somehow becoming a character flaw is a stretch. I can agree that one should complete their commitments, and be a team player. I also believe that sometimes that cannot happen for whatever reason and one needs to know when to quit. To say that one should never quit for any reason is naive at best. Sometimes an individual needs to do what is best for himself and that might be what is best for the team as well. To not recognize that fact is a bit of a narrow view in my opinion. Nobody knows what is going through this kids mind.

We had a kid at my sons school last year (final 8 in Texas) quit halfway through. He was miserable and everyone knew it. After he left the team he was happier and so was the team. Funny thing was he came to all the games and even travelled to a couple of play-off games away and supported the team in a different way which was appreciated by his team mates even more than if he had been on the bench. His mother was on the board and stayed on til the end of the season. Nice people. Sometimes it is for the best to do what is best for everyone and not be so narrow in your think9ing. In this case it was best for the team and the kid. That is okay also.

the Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"

Will,

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whether he wants to admit it or not coaches are turned off by some parents who meddle and make it their business to make things difficult.

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Whether you want to admit it or not, some parents are more knowledgeable than the coaches who got the job because they are teachers or available and refuse to let the second rate coach get away with ignorant bs.

I at least will side with a coach from time to time. You never side with a parents point of view, and that makes you narrow minded.

BTW, I am not siding with the parent here. I am for the kid making the right decision for he and his team. Try to get the issue correct. You always start ranting about parents running off coaches. That is not the topic here. I can't help coaches who are paranoid about parents. Talk about quitting. you want the kid to stick it out for the team, but you quit on the kids because of the parents. Interesting that you want to hold a kid to a higher standard than the coaches who quit because of bad parents.

the Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"

Getting back to the original thread if the kid wants to quit then why should the parent make him play? Well there are some reasons why. Just because things are not going your way you cant just quit. Once you start quitting you keep on quitting. If things are going bad at your job do you just quit? If things are going bad in your marriage do you just quit? Learning to suck it up and do whatever you can to help your team win says alot about a kid. I have told my sons that they are going to finish whatever they start. You dont have to play anything but if you make the decision to play you are going to finish what you start. As far as this idea that the seniors parents should band together and get the coach fired I think that speaks for itself. Any Junior that plays JV should be quite aware of his standing in a program. What did he think that all of a sudden he was going to be a stud. Why should it matter what year a kid is in. If he is better he plays period. When did we start graduating up to starting posistions. Do you think that this coach wants to loose on purpose. Isnt it more likely that he is trying to play the players that give his team the best chance to win? Yeah lets just get the coach fired so we can make out the lineup. Do you honestly think that the coach that replaces him is going to let the seniors parents make out the lineup. If he does then you are getting exactly what you deserve.

quote:

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Originally posted by BeenthereIL:

All it means is that you are a qualified "teacher" at the high school level and you bid for the coaching job. For all we know, no one else bid for the job except the woman badminton teacher.

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Beenthere,Il, can't speak for Will but how did you know how I got my job. BTW, she could really play badminton! Or was that golf? I know a lot of birdies were involved! LOL!

BigHit15, I guess we just can't agree. I see the glass half full and think that the kid can grow from this experince as a member of the team. You see the glass differently. I messed up one day in high school and was thrown off of my high school basketball team. It was my fault and only my fault. I hurt one of my teammates out of anger and I paid. I think about it often. I would have been thankful just to have an opportunity to stay on the team. Neither one of us knows this kid. When you call me narrowminded, you are right. When it comes to baseball, my glass will be half full and I have something to give to my kids. Can't speak for anyone else.

"There comes a time when you have to stop dreaming of the man you want to be and start being the man you have become." Bruce Springsteen

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. Once you start quitting you keep on quitting. If things are going bad at your job do you just quit? If things are going bad in your marriage do you just quit?

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Quitting once does not mean that you will quit at everything. That is a nice cliche', but that is all it is. Many people quit their jobs, statistics show that people have 4 careers in their lifetime. Does that make them quitters? By your definition, we would all be working at the first job we ever had or be considered a quitter. Absurd! Half of all marriages fail. So don't try to think that people don't quit and that all who do are somehow defective.

the Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"

Many people quit their jobs only to get another job. Quitting the baseball team does not equal quitting your job because when you quit a job you are not quitting the work force you are simply going to go out and get another job. Quitting the baseball team means you are quitting your team and the game. You are impacting not only yourself but your team. Do you think that quitting the team makes the young man a better person. Or do you think by sticking it out he might learn some valuable lessons. Im not in this young mans shoes. I dont know exactly what he is going through. My point in the earlier post was he was on JV as a Junior. Dont you think that he had some idea that all of a sudden he was not going to be a vital part of the Varsity squad? I just dont believe in quitting. Thats just my opinion. You have a right to yours.

Back to the original question and just casting my vote here - Should I let my son quit?

In the absence of abuse, difficulties in school or other very extenuating circumstances - NO!

________________
"The only people I ever felt intimdated by in my whole life were Bob Gibson and my daddy," Dusty Baker.

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Sometimes an individual needs to do what is best for himself and that might be what is best for the team as well. To not recognize that fact is a bit of a narrow view in my opinion.

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I hardly think that is calling you narrow minded. It says what it says. I thought you were a cup half full kind of guy? I did not call you narrow midned or any other name. If you feel that it was directed at you, I cannot help that. I just don'[t feel that I called you a name. I simply voiced an opposing point of view.

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BigHit15, I guess we just can't agree. I see the glass half full and think that the kid can grow from this experince as a member of the team. You see the glass differently.

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I just believe that there is a lot of advice being given here without knowing how the kid feels and after all the kids well being is the most important thing here not the abject lessons that team work or that you wnat to teach. Though I believe in your honesty, I don't feel like you have enough information about the situation to make blaket statements about what a kid should do. Each person has to follow his own path and I get offended when it is inferred that one is defective for not following the pc crowd. This kid has to live with whatever decision he makes and I think that a little deference needs to be made to that fact. JMO. I also am a half full kind of guy. I just have a differnt cup


the Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"

Big Hit15 I do agree that sometimes an individual quitting is best for the team. Especially when they have become a cancer because they can not accept their role on the team. And Im sure that there are times when it is in the best interest of the individual to quit as well. I just hate to see a kid quit. I feel as a coach that somehow I have failed when a kid quits. My hope is that they stick it out and help the team anyway they can. I dont want to look back upon the decision when they are 35 and regret the decision. I will admit that there are alot of variables here.

Coach May,

On that note I agree completely. I feel that way as well. A coach worth his salt would talk to this kid and try to make him understand. We can agree on that.

I just want you guys to know that i personally don't disagree with commitment, I just want to look at the kids best interest.

the Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"