What to say at parent night

I just attended my sons parent meeting last night.  It was very quick.  Here is what they covered:

 

-Speech from AD about academic eligibility, Alcohol/Tobacco/Drug Policy, and proper way to contact coaches/AD (kid talk to coach first, followed by parent/athlete/coach sit down.  if not resolved then AD, parent, kid, coach sit down).  (5 minutes)

 

-Speech from Boosters about different programs and fundraisers (5-10 minutes)

 

-V coach talks about goals for program. (~10 minutes)

 

-Soph Coach talks about program (5 minutes)

 

-Frosh Coach talks about program (5 minutes)

 

-V Coach talks about fundraiser (5 minutes)

 

Out of meeting in less then an hour.  

one of the things I thought i might do is a couple of activities to put the parents and players in the drivers seat. for instance, i might put 2 columns on the whiteboard: "good" and "bad." I might ask some questions like "What are some qualities that define a good or bad  coach?,"

 

Coach Z,

I really respect what you're trying to do with your program, but I don't think you should do this. It's too much empowerment of parents and players.  IMO, don't re-invent parent night.  Go with the  standard tried-and-true formula..

 

 

 

 

As a parent I happen to agree here.  Our coaches are very straight and to the point.  No messing around.  The AD's speech is very much "its our program and if you have an issue we will be happy to discuss it with you, if you follow procedure, but don't expect us to give in to you"

 

 

A couple of things not to do - from experience.  Don't comment on how parents don't know what they are talking about.  Chances are some actually do.  And don't slam their "travel" coaches who may have been working with them for several years. 

 

I too would stick with the formula.  But I would also try to distinguish your program from the rest of the school's programs.  I started paying attention when after the AD gave his spiel about eligibility (per state rules) the Head coach got up and said "I have a slightly higher standard."  He discussed grade requirements and study tables for the kids that where struggling.  Sold!  Added some dress and grooming requirements.  He followed that up with some non-traditional fundraising and cool "spirit wear."   

 

Point is, he really distinguished his program from the other run of the mill programs at the school.  As a parent, it was very refreshing.   

Just a parent here but I wouldn't go down that road if I were you. The parent meeting should set a positve tone for the up coming season. If I was in a meeting like that I think I would walk away scratching my head wondering what just happened.

I was getting ready to post the same thing.  Like the old saying - treat parent night like a mini-skirt = long enough to cover the important parts but short enough to keep them interested.

 

If it's too short then you haven't communicated everything you need or as in depth you need.  Plus, the parents get upset because they wasted time / effort to get out there for 20 mins (or however long it is)

 

If it's too long then you're repeating info or talking about stuff that doesn't matter.  Now parents get upset because they don't want to be there.

 

Everything joes87 put in his first post is about what I cover in our meetings along with concussion information due to state law.

 

I agree.  If you want the parents' input don't ask for that. Ask them what ideas they have for fundraising, or who knows somebody who can help build a new backstop, dig new drains, sell OF banners, etc.

 

There are other ways to get involved too.  Our team has a potluck dinner after Friday home games for example. Great way to build community, give coaches, players and parents a chance to get to know each other a bit. A few parents step up to run it every  year, and everybody contributes food or supplies.

Thanks everyone! Good points. I'll play it safe and stick to the program. part of me feels like it would be a proactive thing to do, but its better to not open a can of works that you might not ever have to deal with anyways. and having the whole team sit through that when it might only really be an issue with 1-2 of them is a waste of time. 

 

JCG, great idea about the potluck. it just so happens that we have a ton of friday and saturday games this year, i might try to put something like that together! 

 

You all have been a real huge help for me in my first couple years here. Still just getting my feet under me as a young HS head coach with pretty much no prior experience. Even when your shooting down my opinion, its in a very helpful and respectful way that has my programs best interest in mind. Thanks again everyone for being so helpful and being such gentlemen!

 

 

Be very careful how much you empower parents. It's a good example of "give an inch, they'll take a mile." You will have dads who is think they are a better coach because they coach rec league. Watch out for mothers. Let a mother get involved too much and next thing she thinks she's the team mother/general manager. In most cases they're just trying to give their kid a playing advantage. These are areas where the politics conversation evolves.

It was fun to watch the power play attempts play out in high school. Both kids (baseball and softball) were playing for new coaches who wanted no part of how the parents manipulated the previous coaches.

When my son went through HS; he was part of a very successful and well run program. As parents we were "informed" that the only subjects that we could talk to a coach about were:

 

1. The weather

 

2. Our son's welfare; i.e. his health and his school work.

 

In the end, this approach seemed to work out well.

 

 

 

What you cover may be dictated by your audience... just V, whole program, etc.  I agree with your point about hearing your voice too much.  We plan our points and split them up among coaches.  In general, cover what they can expect from you, what you expect from them and what you expect from their sons.

 

Topics may include...

 

program philosophy/goals

playing time philosophy

game/practice schedule info

roster size/ movement

spirit pack info

communication method/expectations

(for newer younger players/parents, remind that the players are now expected to handle their own affairs)

fundraising/volunteer needs

expected appropriate fan behavior

PRAISE THE KIDS - MUST BE GOOD PARENTING

 

Leave time for Q&A. 

 

Here's the way ours addresses travel teams.  

 

<paraphrasing> "Parents and players, I understand the loyalty to your travel programs.  Many of you have played for the same team from a number of years.  I have a son who is in HS and has played travel ball for a long time.  I have a lot of respect for the program/concept and those who coach within it.  All that said, during the HS baseball season you are part of the XXHS program and moving forward we need to recognize that we are playing on a different team then you are used to playing on.  For that reason from this point forward I do not want to see travel team hats/jerseys/sweats, etc at our practices or games.  I know many of you have spent a lot of money on these things and I hope you can get your use of them during your travel ball season. 

 

In addition we also need to recognize that we may here at XXHS may have differing philosophies then your travel program.  That is ok.  We may be right, they may be right or we could both be right.  In either case again, you are now part of this program and we have been pretty successful over the years.  Our coaches have a lots of experience,  some with college ball, some with pro and others just have a love for the game.  As we move forward we need to recognize that things may be done differently then you are used to.  As per Mr. AD's instruction if your son has any questions about how we do things please have him come see me.  If your son I can not work things out then please feel free to set up an appointment between your son, yourself and me.  Again, we can talk things over and hopefully you will understand why we do things the way we do."

 

Do any coaches on this board mention pitch count rules?

Just think in a couple of years you will be on here giving out great advice to a young coach similar to yourself.  That's what's great about this place - we all can learn and we all can teach on here if people are listening (or reading I should say)

 

 

I don't because it's a case by case situation.  I hate having pitching rules that are concrete outside of good common sense.  What Johnny can do isn't the same as Billy so why treat them the same - same for my senior who's been with me four years versus that freshman who has been with me for 2 weeks.  

 

Overall, I tell them their health is my number one goal in terms of pitching. I want them to trust me to come tell me if they can't go.  If they tell me they can't go then they are not going.  Overall this works but I still have to find the ones who will tell me everything is fine when it's not.  Have to pay attention to body language, mechanics, how much time between pitches and many other things.  

 

I don't want to paint myself into a corner by having strict rules when I got a couple kids who can do more than the rest.

I don't see it mentioned anywhere, but when my son was playing HS ball, the parent meeting was mandatory as they also went over the concussion protocol.  I don't recall having to sign anything, but they did go over the protocol.

HC speaks to this generally.  He states that he errors on the side of caution, particularly early in the season when most are building up their arm strength.  He definitely practices what he preaches so non-issue with our program.

 

FoxDad,

Regarding concussion...  the new format for meetings with our school (last 3 yrs, I think) is a "Spring Sports" meeting where AD and trainer cover such topics to the larger group and then each sport breaks out into separate rooms for sport-specific meeting by coaches.

cabbage - glad to hear that.  For us it was only in his senior year the concussion protocol was finally instituted.  Before that, there was not a specific protocol the coaches were required to follow though they would generally err on the side of caution.

I generally agree with their sentiment and would have no problem with it.  However, I trust that they realize one of the reasons they are consistently competitive is the quality of travel ball in your area. 

 

In our case it was a complete dis of travel coaches as not knowing what they where doing or doing it wrong.  Of course, stated by a coach who struggled to win a handful of games. 

I would assume so.  The V HC's kid is my sons age.  Goes to a completely different school then my son, yet my son knows him from travel ball.  He plays on a decent team.  I have yet to hear a HS coach at our school diss on the travel ball program, yet I hear some of the travel coaches dissing on the HS programs. 

CoachZ - By all appearances you look to be a thoughtful and thorough man and coach.  Anyone that will admit they have things to learn and seeks knowledge is already 90% of the way to be being successful at anything IMO. 

 

I suspect that you will be successful in your coaching career and your approach has at least 1 Virginian by way of New England rooting for you.  Go get'em!

Do not do this.  Bad idea.  This will backfire.

 

This sounds like something I would have done as a new coach or people manager.

Thanks again everyone. 

 

Here in Maine, we don't have a pitch count rule, only a innings rule: 1 inning every day, 1-3=1 days rest, 3+=3 days rest before pitching again. We are so rural, there isnt much opportunity for travel ball. If a kid really wants to go for it, they can play legion, but the nearest team is about 1 hour drive away. Some kids do AAU basketball and such, but Maine also has a "bonafide team" rule stating that if your HS team is having a game or practice that day, you are required to be with your HS team, they take priority over any and all other athletics you might be involved with. 

 

Us coaches have to go through concussion and heat stroke training among other things, but do not have to put the whole team through it. 

 

How do you all address the issue of cuts? Just to give a little back story, we are such a small school most of our kids have never had to try out for a sport in a situation to be cut. its basically: "hey, enough people signed up for us to have a team this year!" the only sport we have a JV team for is basketball because, well, it only takes 5 guys to throw a team together. However, I currently have a large group signed up and anticipate a couple cuts. 1 thats really going to have to show me something is a senior who hasnt played since MS...just wants to be all sport his senior year. I had a bad experience with a senior like this last year. In this community, I think most people would expect him to make the team, and probably play the whole game on senior night. "cut the freshmen, he has 3 more years, let the senior have fun his senior year." ...that type of thing. I have a strong group of freshmen coming up who only lost 1 game as 8th graders last year, I don't anticipate cutting any of them, even though they might not play a lot right away. I'm thinking keep it short and sweet? and just mention that "there is no room for seniority, we are here to compete at a high level and be good teammates and those will be the people to make the team." 

 

Last year was a rebuilding year for us (lost 6 strong, up the middle seniors from the prev. year) and this year will be a "reestablishing" year where we should be competitive, but pretty young mostly. Unless a few kids really come around, or really fell off, I anticipate making 1-3 cuts, and them being almost entirely upper classmen, which I anticipate will ruffle some feathers, but I know my AD sees it coming, we talk regularly. I teach here and help him out coaching the volleyball team too so we get a lot of time to talk shop.  

Here is how they addressed cuts at my kids team meeting...

 

<paraphrasing>"Selecting this years team was especially tough.  We had to make some tough decisions and let some good players go.  Congratulations to those of you who made the team, we have selected the players who we feel give us the greatest opportunity to win this year and over the next couple of years"

 

Thats about all that was said at the meeting.  Our coaches meet with each kid they cut to let them know they have been cut and what they can do to improve if they wish to tryout the next year.

 

 

Our coach prefers not to cut.  Wants to keep kids in the program working and developing. Kept some even though he doesn't have enough uniforms.  Those bubble players know their roles. 

I prefer not to cut and dont have enough uniforms also haha! I have a couple who I anticipate might make themselves academically ineligible anyway (regardless of the fact that I have been checking in with them all year) so it might work itself out without me having to do much. However, I see potential issues with discipline and a kid or 2 who could be potential "cancers to the team,"...that type of thing. So if that starts to materialize, cuts will happen if needed.  

Here is what I had in my 8 page (4 front and back) handout:

 

1. Qualities of a Baseball Knight
2. Notes/comments on Practice Schedule
3. Quotes I function under while coaching.
4. What I am expected to know as a coach.
5. Comments on Experts
6. Lombardi Quote on Winning
7. Thoughts and Concerns (Program and Program Development)
8. Bio of Coaching Staff
9. Comment on Fatigue and how players/parents have to allow for practice, games, and academics.
10. "Things Coaches Notice"  (Positive List and Negative List)
11. Other Thoughts
12. Information on webpage for baseball team and parental release to use images of players on team website.

I had my parent meeting on a Saturday after one of our practices.  The parents were welcomed to come and watch that practice, sit in the stands, etc. 

How about how pitch counts/innings will be handled?If its not brought up do I just raise my hand when its questions time?While everyone in the room(including coach) knows "my deal"I am not going to meeting to make the coach look bad.I would love it if they guy lead them deep into june playing time.But I do feel very strongly that this subject needs to be touched upon during the meeting.Do I bring it up?When The answer or talking point is given and its just a circle with no clear answer do I just put it out there?

Cutting's a reality at our school.  School of about about 3600 kids.  If they did not cut the Frosh team would have 80 players split between the two teams.  Around 30 on the Soph team and probably 30 or so on the V/JV team.

How much heat stroke is there in northern Maine in the spring? I would be praying for enough heat to have a stroke.  Friends of mine who played at Maine told me the bullpen sat in running cars to get warm. I believe Maine now has heated dugouts and bullpens. In fact, I believe the field is heated. 

 

When my son was in high school he received a flyer on the Maine program. He looked them up online. He saw incredible facilities including a MLB like locker room. He was impressed. Then I told him to chart out who Maine plays and calculate the bus drives. Then I showed him pictures of the Bangor area in March and April. To quote my son, "Never mind!"

If you have to cut players encourage them to play summer ball anywhere just because they love the game enough to want to play.

you got it RJM. There is a reason basketball is king up here..its the only sport we can play year round. I went to UMaine myself and they do have great facilities. But, of course, hockey is the big thing there. Football gets a good turnout also. we do have some good summer ball happening around the state though with legion teams and such. Also, the author Stephen King is from Bangor and had a solid stadium (Mansfield) build near his home in Bangor. The senior league world series is played there, so we do get to see some good high school aged ball, kids from all over the world coming to play there. 

I lived in Portland from third to seventh grade and always at Little Sebago in the summer growing up. I remember Mt Ararat basketball had a succession of five 6'6" or taller brothers at one point. I played baseball for Caldwell Post (now Nova Seafood). I played college summer ball with a few of the Maine guys who went to Omaha in the 70s (Flaherty, Conley, Dumont, Leggett and Sawyer).