college freshman difficulties

Great thread from 10 years ago. Surprised this topic hasn't come up more often recently.

There are many threads about college freshmen having a hard time with the baseball coach.  Fewer about academics and girlfriend.  Which is more of a concern?

Being a freshman on a sports team is hard.  You are trying to figure out your place on the team, at the same time you are trying to figure out who you are and want to be socially.  Often the two are intertwined, which makes it harder.  It can take a couple of years to figure out who you are on the team and socially, and you have classes going on all throughout this, too.  It's called growing up.

When I hear stuff like this...

My bed sucks.

The food is terrible.

I hate sharing a bedroom/bathroom.

My professors are crazy.

I miss my girlfriend.

There's too many weirdos on campus.

I'm too busy.

That could be 80% of the freshman at 80% of the schools. It's a universal reaction to being away from home and being in a dorm at college.

If that's not your experience, you're lucky.

We were lucky.  Son loved dorm life, didn't care for roommate but was not in room very much.  Loved baseball and has never liked class but made good grades because he wanted to play baseball.  Food was fantastic and free.  No girlfriend until junior year so that makes life easy.  I think we as parents push our teenagers to date too much and have a gf/bf.  So we get what we ask for.  I'm too busy (that is a parents fault for not preparing them for what a day as a baseball player will be like)

@anotherparent posted:

Being a freshman on a sports team is hard.  You are trying to figure out your place on the team, at the same time you are trying to figure out who you are and want to be socially.  Often the two are intertwined, which makes it harder.  It can take a couple of years to figure out who you are on the team and socially, and you have classes going on all throughout this, too.  It's called growing up.

Yep, and in many cases you have been tossed into the deep end of the pool, academically speaking, and you're about to find out if you really know how to swim.

So far...LOVES his teammates, Food is average (chipotle seems to be just as good in college as at home), some communication issues with ex-girlfriend since back at school but that seems to have worked itself out (with a side of drama), LOVES hanging with the boys (his freshman teammates on his floor), and does not miss home/mom/dad much. Some reminders on our expectations for him as a student have been communicated regularly and he has told us that he is the only guy on his team to not miss a class yet.

He DID sleep thru a team lift (many extenuating circumstances caused it but ultimately his fault). The punishment was extensive from the strength coach. Weight room is on basement level of women's basketball/volleyball arena that has 3 levels (extra tall levels). Had to take every dumbbell from bottom of dumbbell rack (75s to 125s in 5 lb increments) from basement to 3rd level. Clean them. Then take them all back down. Son is a beast in the weight room and has worked hard enough to heave several times in the past and said that it took him over 2 hours (even with a little help from his accountability partner). He said he has never worked so hard in his life. He nor his 4 baseball teammates on the floor won't let it happen again. Lesson learned!

@Francis7 posted:

When I hear stuff like this...

My bed sucks.

The food is terrible.

I hate sharing a bedroom/bathroom.

My professors are crazy.

I miss my girlfriend.

There's too many weirdos on campus.

I'm too busy.

That could be 80% of the freshman at 80% of the schools. It's a universal reaction to being away from home and being in a dorm at college.

If that's not your experience, you're lucky.

I've known too many that didn't like sharing a room/bathroom. One of the reasons I make my kids share space...even when they really don't have too.

I also think tasting campus food and sitting in some classes are important things to do when touring campuses. Another thing I've found very useful is striking up conversations with students about their impressions of the school. They tend to be very honest about what they like and dislike. It's also a great opportunity to sample how many "weirdos" there are at the school.

@Francis7 posted:

When I hear stuff like this...

My bed sucks.

The food is terrible.

I hate sharing a bedroom/bathroom.

My professors are crazy.

I miss my girlfriend.

There's too many weirdos on campus.

I'm too busy.

That could be 80% of the freshman at 80% of the schools. It's a universal reaction to being away from home and being in a dorm at college.

If that's not your experience, you're lucky.

Is this coming from your son?

@TPM - I have 2 kids in college now. Totally different schools in different states and different type schools.

Related, I belong to Parents Groups for each school on Facebook.

I also have dozens of friends with kids in various grades at different colleges.

The complaint list is from what I see and hear over and over again.

My son? He's just like everyone else. It's not all rainbows and unicorns all the time. He will either adjust or he won't. Most people do adjust.

Both kids went to schools with about 48K enrollment. There was a lot of everything on campus.

The only complaint I heard was my daughter claiming some of her teammates were hitting on her. An NCAA poll I saw about fifteen years ago stated 40% of D1 female athletes are lesbians.

My daughter complained to her coach and got nowhere. Her coach was on that team. We came up with a solution to the problem.

My son had an Alfred E Neuman approach to most problems ... What? Me worry? I used to joke he mastered falling out of trees and landing on his feet scoring a perfect 10.

@Francis7 posted:

When I hear stuff like this...

My bed sucks.

The food is terrible.

I hate sharing a bedroom/bathroom.

My professors are crazy.

I miss my girlfriend.

There's too many weirdos on campus.

I'm too busy.

That could be 80% of the freshman at 80% of the schools. It's a universal reaction to being away from home and being in a dorm at college.

If that's not your experience, you're lucky.

I've only heard stuff described like this in Facebook groups. They are the worst. They also provides a ton of laughs.

I think as difficult as it is being a student athlete one of the benefits is you are pretty insulated from gen pop, or as my kids refer to them NARPs. So as long as you get along with your teammates, especially your class, you should be good.

My son just sent me a pic from the Yankee game. Went with kids from the team. As long as he makes it back to campus (~2 hours away), I think all is well.

Francis, if the young man entered a JC he would have few complaints and prepare for the next step.

Bob

@Francis7 posted:

When I hear stuff like this...

My bed sucks. - Standard

The food is terrible. - Standard

I hate sharing a bedroom/bathroom. - Standard

My professors are crazy. - Standard

I miss my girlfriend. - case specific

There's too many weirdos on campus. LOL welcome to the NE buddy, They are everywhere and typically celebrated on campus!

I'm too busy. - Standard

That could be 80% of the freshman at 80% of the schools. It's a universal reaction to being away from home and being in a dorm at college.

If that's not your experience, you're lucky.

It seems to me your son is pretty normal, the good news is they grow up, learn to deal with things and get an apartment next year! Probable biggest learning curve outside baseball is figuring out what crazy professors want to hear and telling them them that! Honesty wont help you get the grade just play the game.

@old_school posted:

It seems to me your son is pretty normal, the good news is they grow up, learn to deal with things and get an apartment next year! Probable biggest learning curve outside baseball is figuring out what crazy professors want to hear and telling them them that! Honesty wont help you get the grade just play the game.

Freshman year my son had to write a paper on Occupy. He was in red state. His professor told the class if anyone tries to blame Reagan for todays problems he will call them out in class for being intellectually lazy.

My son went down to Occupy and interviewed people rather than just spouting uninformed opinions. In his paper he pointed out some legitimate complaints. But he stated in the big picture people should be self reliant and demonstrate personal responsibility. He was shocked when he got a D. He’s always been an excellent writer.

He was surprised when I told him professors don’t grade papers. Socialist TA’s who are about 5’7” 130 with ponytails and John Lennon glasses do the grading.  He took his paper to the professor. His grade was changed to an A.

Occupy made me remember a personal story. April 1990 a 23 year old suited up professional steps out of the 2/3 at Wall Street right into an earth day celebration and is promptly pushed to the ground and screamed at for being a capitalist destroying the earth.  32 years later I still recall my confusion.  

bad food is standard for sure but a bad bed is fixable at sons school. You can rent an oversized bed at sons school. Professors are all over the map from too much to work and hard graders to great educators.  It’s all a mixed bag in my opinion.