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Did anyone mention "the one-upper?"

You know, the guy who one-ups every situation.

Example - You say, "My son is going to visit (enter any D3 school here) tomorrow"

His reply - "Yeah, the Clemson coach won't leave (enter his son's name here) alone."

Your son just hit his first high school Home Run.

His reaction - "Nice shot. Did you see (enter his son's name here) I think it went 350."
Originally posted by 1baseballdad:
How about the weather man. He can give you up to the second forecast info, wind direction AND visibility conditions.

"Sun is going to be tough for that Left fielder today"

"Wind is really going to cause some problems today"

"Looks like we will just get this one in before the clouds open up"

"Going to rain around the fourth inning"

"No way we get Fridays' game in"

Oddly, he is right about as often as the TV weather men.

There was a Dad on one of my son's teams in the past...he did this. Announced at post game talks to "wear warmer clothes it's going to be colder than you think", "We will get that game in on Wednesday" etc etc.

We all thought he was just off. Well he was right A LOT.

Turns out he is a REAL weather man.. LMAO
Originally posted by 2Bmom:
"Mr Glory Days."

That guy is one of our assistant coaches. Big Grin

LMAO...there goes some of my coffee.

I played a bit of baseball. Got to hurt (not baseball related) couldn't throw anymore. 'Nuff said, end of story.

I've heard more s o b (it censored S-O-B as the word not the abbreviation LOL) stories. And I never realized how many "full rides" have been handed out at D1 colleges over the years LOL

What about the Dad who always talks about how his son hasn't hit his growth spurt yet, or he's always saying the kid is growing like a weed?

It's usually the Dad who's 5'7" and the Mom is even shorter. The kid is as tall as Dad already. Tall mailman maybe?
Last edited by ctandc
Originally posted by fillsfan:
Great thread.

Someone mentioned the grandmother calling balls and strikes. How about the 80 something grandfather who in his hard of hearing loud voice, asks "WHY IS #25 IN THE LINEUP HE STINKS". Never fails he will always be sitting within earshot of #25's parents.

Good one! I wanted to to say something about grumpy old men, actually had it written but didn't post it the other day!
We had a grumpy old man and a grumpy old lady, not related, that would loudly criticize every kid but their grandson and friends. ON OUR OWN TEAM! Big Grin
Just remembered one, what about "The HC's Dad"? He is similar to "The Man" described in an earlier post, he has been to every home game for years, and many away. Knows the highs and lows of the program, can detail both great and awful seasons all the way back to the 80's as well as tell you all about the best players to ever come through the program.
Here's to you, Mr. Inappropriate Cheering Guy!

You don't just cheer for the kids on your son's team.

You also cheer, and loudly, against the kids on the opposing team - a complete break of High school etiquette.

You feel it's your job to support your team by 'getting into the heads' of the opposing teams players.

You loudly point out the kids that you think can't make the play - the ones the kids on your son's team should 'hit it to', never thinking for one moment that their parents might be bothered by what you say.

Worst of all, with men on base and the game on the line, you yell something that sounds suspiciously like 'Balk' when the pitcher from the opposing team is in the middle of his motion.

Although you get strange looks throughout the game, you ignore them, for you are in your element!

Mr Inappropriate Cheering Guy!
Last edited by BillBill
Thanks BillBill. You just reminded me about another "Guy" we ran into a few weeks ago at a college game...."the very stoned & very drunk college student that tries to abuse the opponent's left fielder but he SLURS-HIS-SPEECH-GUY".

We learned that at some of the more cereberal Virginia colleges (not the student/college noted above) have students & fans that actually look up an opponent player data on their smart phones and try to carry a conversation on with the opponents left fielder. For example...."Does your Dad have any good ambulance chasing stories?" Much more subtle, and funny IMHO!
Last edited by fenwaysouth
Will kick im another one....
"mr where are they now"
The guy who knows whether or not players played beyound high school, D3-D2-D1-JUCO- got drefted AND. How they are doing down to batti g averages and era stats.
Ususaaly starts a convo with I see johnny smith had. A big day yesterday against UVA Wise....yeah you know he was at Clemson but i knew that wouldnt last...hisndad said he just want to focus on his grades and play ball so he transferred to Bluefield
I haven't seen these two guys yet in this thread, though the thread is so long now I may have missed them:

"The Grounds Crew Guy" - though not allowed at most HS, he's the guy who gets a thrill out of dragging the field or even putting in a last minute infield grass cutting.

"The Seeds Guy" - the guy who enjoy's his sunflower seeds and leaves ample evidence of that in the stands.

I've been guilty of both at one time or another. Love this thread!
Someone mentioned the grandmother calling balls and strikes.

We played a game a couple of weeks ago on a field with no stands and just a very small area where the fans from both sides sit in folding chairs.

Our lead-off man starts the game off with a sharp single to center and the pitcher's grandmother shouts out 'That's the way to start the game. Good hit!'...

Pitcher's father looks over and says 'Mom, that's the other team'...

Grandma thinks for a second and says...'Well, it was a really good hit...' Smile
"Hey Jim, can you imagine what Coach Bada$$ would have done to that boy if he had pulled that mess back in our day? Wheeeeeew boy!"

Ah, yes. I know a couple of those guys.

Coach Bada$$ wanted to come out of retirement and applied for our open coaching job a couple of years ago. Someone I know who played against his teams said,

"He's so old school they'd be hatin' life." Big Grin
Originally posted by joemktg:
Since this thread started I've been very self-conscious about what I say and do at the boy's games, lest I become one of those "Guys".

NO WAY! It's great to be one of these guys. They have a passion for the game and they enrich everyone's memories. Be yourself so someone will affectionately write about you some day!
Can't believe this one hasn't been covered yet...

Mechanical Flaw Fixer/Analyst - speaks out loud to the parent or anyone who is willing to listen.

"Needs to get his foot down earlier."
"He's throwing off a closed front side"
"His hands are too low"

OK, so for me personally to get out of that phase Big Grin, I moved to the...

"Talk and joke about anything not related to baseball or son to make sure you're not being "that guy" phase."

Those two were about seven or eight phases ago. I am currently strategizing my next one. Great to have this thread to choose from!

And yes, joemktg, one of my phases was to completely shut up so I was sure not to be any of "those guys". BORING. We're all one of those guys. Just try to be considerate and not too stuck on just yours and enjoy the ride with all the others in the same boat. Understand that everyone is in a different learning phase in the process. The strong emotional bond to your kids can be a wonderful and entertaining spectacle to others .
How about the

"pitcher's dad guy"

You know the one that indicates all the players are out of position well his son is getting shelled!

This thread reminded me of a mother from about 10 years ago who had the "best curveball throwing son" in the beach. She was extremely frustrated because the umpires did not know how to call a curveball for a strike! After about 5 or so comments out of her, I finally ask her if hitting the dirt before the plate made a difference in the eyes of the umpire!
Originally posted by 2Bmom:
Intensity guy.

"I told my [varsity sophomore] son before the season that he needed to hit over .400 and have a 98% fielding percentage if he wanted to get anywhere in this game. I'm sure you expect the same from your son."

I honestly did not know how to answer.

"Sir, you must be one of those new age, soft parents. Anything less than batting 1.000 and perfect fielding for our Johnny is just not acceptable."

Say it with a straight face and then walk away as if you don't want to associate with someone who has such low standards for their son.
I know Intensity Guy! He was the one who screamed at his 10 year old during game(best all around athlete on the team) that player was embarassing himself and his family when he failed to make a difficult play. His wife attended a championship game alone once and son made a highly uncharacteristic error that allowed what proved to be the other team's winning run to score. Wife's immediate reaction was to turn around to all the parents she knew and say "His father can never ever find out aboout this!" Confused
"Sir, you must be one of those new age, soft parents. Anything less than batting 1.000 and perfect fielding for our Johnny is just not acceptable."

Big Grin I think I'll try that.

The thing that kills me is that this kid will probably do those things, or come close. But it won't be because his dad told him to!
Last edited by 2Bmom

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