I couldn't find this guy so I apologize if he's a duplicate. .

Has anyone seen the Mr Fan Instigator Guy?

This is the guy who knows all the rules (or so he thinks). Once there is an obscure play involving a rarely used rule (interference or something of the sort) he begins to scold the umpires rambling on about how the umpire needs a rule book and can't make that call.

He slowly builds momentum throughout his side of the bleachers recruiting others by sharing his wealth of knowledge of the rule book. The fans, who were so wrongly "cheated" continue to hang on tho this one call as the game goes on. God held us all if Mr Fan Instigator Guy's team looses because as the fans slowly depart you can still hear them mumbling about how the umpire stole the game from them on the one call.

I think they are a cousin of the aforementioned Mr Umpire QC Guy or Umpire Stalker Guy.
I wanted to pull this back up. One of my favorite baseball memories was a couple of years ago. Our Regional starts on Memorial Day and my son was playing in the 7PM game that started about an hour late. The way the team lined up for the National anthem the outfielders stood shoulder to shoulder in centerfield. I was standing on the 3rd base side and there was an oversized flag blowing in the breeze in Right Center that looked like it was right on top of their heads. My son starting in the OF and the sky was twilight with purple, red, yellow and orange streaks with that breeze blowing the flag. My grandfather died in WWII and Memorial Day has always had a special importance to me as a result. I had an amazing rush of feelings of sadness, pride and joy about his sacrifice that allowed my son to have the opportunity to stand for the anthem that night. I will never forget that rendition.

So put me down as a National Anthem guy!
My We Have It All Figured Out Guy was kinda funny. Telling me how their son plays travel ball, blah blah blah. Poor dumb sucker! You don't know squat. He was so far off, I just smiled.

Here's one thing I know. Come next year, when my son begins playing college ball, I won't know squat again. At least this time I know that I don't know nuttin.
quote:
twotex said...Here's one thing I know. Come next year, when my son begins playing college ball, I won't know squat again. At least this time I know that I don't know nuttin.
twotex,

But, you are smart enough to know what you know AND know what you don't know. "We Have It All Figured Out Guy" will never know what you know, ya know! Wink

Haven't read the whole thread yet but I thought of one:  Always Wears Coaching Apparel-guy.  You know him.  He hasn't coached since PONY Mustangs or LL Minors, but he always wears Mizuno turf shoes (usually black), track pants, underarmor everything, a fleece hitting pullover, and a cap.  Walks real slow and deliberate with is head down like he's contemplating the great questions as he walks (in his mind) to the mound to change pitchers.

 

This one made me laugh out loud:

 

Mr. Get a huge lead off guy goes to quite a few high school games.
He will yell, 'get off' or 'c'mon you can get way more than that' especially when his kid is on. If anyone gets picked off, 'what's the first base coach doing???"

Originally Posted by tres_arboles:

Haven't read the whole thread yet but I thought of one:  Always Wears Coaching Apparel-guy.  You know him.  He hasn't coached since PONY Mustangs or LL Minors, but he always wears Mizuno turf shoes (usually black), track pants, underarmor everything, a fleece hitting pullover, and a cap.  Walks real slow and deliberate with is head down like he's contemplating the great questions as he walks (in his mind) to the mound to change pitchers.

 

This one made me laugh out loud:

 

Mr. Get a huge lead off guy goes to quite a few high school games.
He will yell, 'get off' or 'c'mon you can get way more than that' especially when his kid is on. If anyone gets picked off, 'what's the first base coach doing???"

 

Yeah, the guy that wears the coaching attire makes me laugh. 

Here's to you "Good Pitch" guy.

On a Hot, Humid, Texas Summer day of 16U baseball, one of our Dad's yelled this out, and we all agreed it was a good pitch. When the inning was over the Umpire walked over to our stands and said" Just because it's a good pitch. Don't mean its a strike".

 

Here's one from our High School team. I'll call this guy the team's MVD {Most Valuable Dad}.  MVD's boy is a good kid, smart, popular and well mannered, but he is also big and slow and about as athletic as a sack of sand. He can't keep up with the rest of the team on anything where running or conditioning is involved.  MVD guy does everything he can to make himself an indespensible part of the program.  MVD guy hopes the coach will value him so much that he'll keep the boy on the team. You can usually find MVD guy in the coaches ear, pitching his latest idea to help the team, benefit the program or improve the facilities.

 

You won't find MVD guy standing behind homeplate with the rest of us guys in the genius club. MVD guy can't watch the games. He's too busy repainting the back side of the visitors dugout, or changing lightbulbs on the scoreboard, or gluing down carpet in the coaches office.  MVD guy will send us all an e-mail that says..."I need help repairing the concession roof before tomorow's game. Any volunteers?"   When nobody volunteers, we have to tolerate his sawing,

hammering and drilling throughout the entire game.

 

  

How about Mr Umpire Guy?  My son and I are ECU Pirate fans, but don't like going to their games because the fans are horrible to the umpires (does anyone really think yelling at the ump ever helps?)

 

Anyway, at an early spring game this year, we were sitting about half way down the third base line when the 'gentleman' in front of us started giving the ump the business.  His best line - "C'mon Blue, that was on the black!" - from over 200 feet away.

 

Geez.

 

 

Guilty of a few of the above.

 

How about a sub group of some of the above (Coach Apparel, Booster Club, etc):

We call it the "Dad's Club".

Membership varies, though some with sons who graduated are still active members.

They attend every winter indoor practice, etc. (only dads there)

and approve every move the coaches make as genius, rather vocally.

Before and after the games:

The time in the 5th inning up 7-1 when you had Jimmy steal? Great strategy.

 

The benefits to their sons vary within this group.

Some have kids going 5-2, etc. in the scorebook

while others do not have a good ROI (return on investment).

 

 

Originally Posted by NYer:
What a great thread!

What about "Captain Obvious" Dad. The one who yells to the pitcher after two walks "Just throw strikes" or to the batter "Just put it in play" or to the defense with two outs "Get the easy out." And then there is my favorite: "A walk is as good as a hit!"

While I will admit to being many of these guys, I have instructed my wife to ban me from attending games if I ever utter one of these phrases!

Wow, this thread is hilarious! 

 

I'd like to expand on "Captain Obvious" parent to include any at bat where the sage advice of "GOOD EYE!  WAY TO WATCH THAT BALL!!!!" is bellowed as the catcher attempts to retrieve the ball that sailed well over 7 feet in height above home-plate!

 

Hate to see a "bad eye" on that one!

My Dad is 84 and he and my Mom are regulars at HS and league ball games.  They always sit behind the backstop and are very quiet and polite.  After a particularly horrible out call when the catcher dropped the ball during a tag on the go ahead run the home plate umpire ran toward third incase there was a play as the catcher searched everywhere to find the ball.  The screams from coaches and fans trying to gain the umpires attention reached a fever pitch and since no play ensued at third eventually the umpire returned to home as the catcher now with the ball in his hand tossed it back to the pitcher.  The coaches asked to talk and after a few minutes of explaining to the umpire the Umpire signaled out again.  The stands erupted as my father sat calmly not saying a word.  As play began to resumed the umpire had finally had his fill and turned to the stands and pointed a finger at everyone saying "I have heard enough" to which my Dad calmly replied..."You may have heard enough but you saw far too little"  In 84 years it was the first time my Dad was ever tossed from a sporting event.  He and my 86 year old mother calmly gathered their belongings and began the walk to the car to the cheers of both home and visiting fans. 

Originally Posted by MDBallDad:

My Dad is 84 and he and my Mom are regulars at HS and league ball games.  They always sit behind the backstop and are very quiet and polite.  After a particularly horrible out call when the catcher dropped the ball during a tag on the go ahead run the home plate umpire ran toward third incase there was a play as the catcher searched everywhere to find the ball.  The screams from coaches and fans trying to gain the umpires attention reached a fever pitch and since no play ensued at third eventually the umpire returned to home as the catcher now with the ball in his hand tossed it back to the pitcher.  The coaches asked to talk and after a few minutes of explaining to the umpire the Umpire signaled out again.  The stands erupted as my father sat calmly not saying a word.  As play began to resumed the umpire had finally had his fill and turned to the stands and pointed a finger at everyone saying "I have heard enough" to which my Dad calmly replied..."You may have heard enough but you saw far too little"  In 84 years it was the first time my Dad was ever tossed from a sporting event.  He and my 86 year old mother calmly gathered their belongings and began the walk to the car to the cheers of both home and visiting fans. 

That is a GREAT story! Thanks very much for sharing it!

 

I can't recall when I've laughed as hard at something I've read on one of these threads.

How about 'Mr. Namedropper' My son played with (enter big leaguer name here)'s son last summer.  My son had a lesson today with (big league player).  I was talking to (college head coach) about my son at the game last weekend.  We got invited to a camp at (bring your $600 university) next weekend. 

Mr. Life’s A Party Guy.   Likes baseball only in that it provides him with a public venue to indulge his love for the spirits. Parks behind the outfield fence with his essentials:  cooler stocked with cut-rate beer, pint of rot-gut, Big Gulp cup, and a truck bed or car trunk for cover.  A social imbiber, he’s forever trying to get your attention to come join him.  Has a kid on the team, but has no idea how he’s doing and likely can’t recognize him after the sixth inning.  Handy guy to know for those early season contests when the wind chill makes you question the sanity of February baseball.

Mr. I Practice Neurosurgery With Only My Voice, and OH BTW, I know EVERYTHING About the Game.

 

Has a high tenor voice so loud that you can hear it from miles away.  When seated behind you, it's so penetrating that he can bore holes through your skull.

 

This guy is actually the father of a player on my kid's basketball team. After our last game and another full night of "Help!  Watch the shooter!  Nobody else can hurt you!  Illegal screen!  You got to double team him!  Collapse from the weak side!  Get that goddang rebound!  Second chance baskets are killing you!  That's ball! That ain't no foul!"  His kid's a pretty good player, but I'm glad he's a senior and I'm almost done listening to dad.  And I'm REALLY glad that the kid doesn't play baseball!

Originally Posted by Catcherdad:

Now that they have shoveled the HS cage and temps broke 40 (fingers croseed),

would like to add the person who "throws pre-season BP & tries to strike kids out"

His name is Seymour Yung but he prefers "Cy" He was the 9th string varsity pitcher 25 years ago that topped out in the low 70's and but he can still heat it up to the mid 50's even after all these years.  Put him in a cage at 30 feet and his 111 mph fastball is his bread and butter out pitch!!!  He will announce his presence with authority....Fear him!!!

Just now starting to read some of these thread posts.  Very entertaining, and even more so, sadly too accurate.   How about the "Dad" that always complains about the coaches decision making, only to watch the team win, game after game after game.   On small ball methods in some cases....which takes great coaching to properly time and execute.

 

Keep em coming....these are hilarious.

Originally Posted by Catcherdad:

Now that they have shoveled the HS cage and temps broke 40 (fingers croseed),

would like to add the person who "throws pre-season BP & tries to strike kids out"

Going to add to this one...what's worse is the former college pitcher with a blown out elbow turned HS coach who throws BP for the sole purpose of humiliating a 9th grader

Love this thread and I read it yearly to try to help with my goal of "well-behaved, cheer equally for all kids" bleacher mom .  

 

Just realized a couple of our fans won't be back this year.  Can we have a moment of silence (and an Amen) for the loss of "That F--- Freshman shouldn't be here", happy to let everyone, including coaching staff, fans and even the AD, know exactly what he thinks of underclassmen.  He almost turned me into "biting the lip until it bleeds then finally snaps and whacks a dude with her purse" last year.  Also gone is "heckler grandpa" shouting to the umps, and sometimes other teams, just about every pitch.  Now if we can keep the "spunky grandmas" in line, we're gonna have some fun in the stands this year!

Originally Posted by hsbasballfan:
We have left out the "I Keep my Own Book Dad" and the "I have my OWN pitch Counter Dad"

Gotta love those guys...a back up set of books and a back up pitch count. Just incase.....????

I love this guy! He would text me all the time after games telling me that I posted the stats wrong. We would always get a good laugh from them. 

Originally Posted by BDB:
Originally Posted by hsbasballfan:
We have left out the "I Keep my Own Book Dad" and the "I have my OWN pitch Counter Dad"

Gotta love those guys...a back up set of books and a back up pitch count. Just incase.....????

I love this guy! He would text me all the time after games telling me that I posted the stats wrong. We would always get a good laugh from them. 

Bob, I bet his son was always on the WRONG end of the stats according to you  

Originally Posted by chefmike7777:
Originally Posted by BDB:
Originally Posted by hsbasballfan:
We have left out the "I Keep my Own Book Dad" and the "I have my OWN pitch Counter Dad"

Gotta love those guys...a back up set of books and a back up pitch count. Just incase.....????

I love this guy! He would text me all the time after games telling me that I posted the stats wrong. We would always get a good laugh from them. 

Bob, I bet his son was always on the WRONG end of the stats according to you  

Well of course Its funny to me... I just let them talk the more they do they funnier they get. 

Originally Posted by BDB:
Originally Posted by hsbasballfan:
We have left out the "I Keep my Own Book Dad" and the "I have my OWN pitch Counter Dad"

Gotta love those guys...a back up set of books and a back up pitch count. Just incase.....????

I love this guy! He would text me all the time after games telling me that I posted the stats wrong. We would always get a good laugh from them. 

I am now "Keep My Own Book" Dad. I also keep pitch count, but seriously wonder what kind of book someone would keep that would require a separate pitch counter. Now that my son is in HS and I don't coach, this gives me something to do and keeps me from going crazy. Oh, yeah, I often hand the book to the wife and I become "Long lens camera" Dad and "Dad who has his own radar gun." So, I'm - you know - multi-facted.

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