quote:
Originally posted by Marklaker:
PROUD VET GUY....stands so ramrod straight during the National Anthem he could crack walnuts between his cheeks. Stares transfixed at Old Glory and won't break his communion until at least two full seconds after the last note. Known to cast a withering glare at anyone who fails to remove their cover or talks above a whisper.

Disclaimer: I'm a retired vet and a pretty good fit for this caricature.



I wish more people were like this. Not removing your hat and covering your heart is unacceptable. Talking is unnecessary as well. There is very little to say that can not wait 5 minutes. This is a big pet peeve of mine. Smile
quote:
Originally posted by redbird5:
quote:
Originally posted by Marklaker:
PROUD VET GUY....stands so ramrod straight during the National Anthem he could crack walnuts between his cheeks. Stares transfixed at Old Glory and won't break his communion until at least two full seconds after the last note. Known to cast a withering glare at anyone who fails to remove their cover or talks above a whisper.

Disclaimer: I'm a retired vet and a pretty good fit for this caricature.



I wish more people were like this. Not removing your hat and covering your heart is unacceptable. Talking is unnecessary as well. There is very little to say that can not wait 5 minutes. This is a big pet peeve of mine. Smile


this is a fun thread..thanks for the laughs
quote:
Originally posted by luv baseball:
As a Back of the Bleachers guy...it's becasue I sit on my butt all day so coming to the ballfield and sitting on the wooden bleachers for another couple of hours isn't in the cards. It's been a very long time since anyone thought I was cool... including me. Just ask my kids! Big Grin


I am with you on that one, ESPECIALLY. my kids thinking I am cool Big Grin
quote:
Originally posted by chefmike7777:
quote:
Originally posted by luv baseball:
As a Back of the Bleachers guy...it's becasue I sit on my butt all day so coming to the ballfield and sitting on the wooden bleachers for another couple of hours isn't in the cards. It's been a very long time since anyone thought I was cool... including me. Just ask my kids! Big Grin


I am with you on that one, ESPECIALLY. my kids thinking I am cool Big Grin


Okay I'll admit it..my quote about the bleachers was aimed at several people I know. Trust me...their backs aren't tired.

I feel your pain literally. My Dad calls me weekly ..always mentions something hurts, then always throws it in..."So how you feeling as you're getting older..that ankle still hurt?"

Gee Thanks Dad..I almost forgot about that.

Actually I normally stand up the entire game. Normally I have to move several times. I made the mistake of explaining a play, and the rule that accompanied it..ONE TIME......And the rest of the season I got approached with questions. I'll never make that mistake again.
Ahhh, Rules guy. In my experiance there are two main flavors:

1) Actually know them and can explain the Infield fly and the reason it exists.

2) Doesn't know anything and will give you the it "can't be an infield fly because it was on the grass" stuff.

I can spend a whole game with the first guy and it seems to go by in a flash and two batters with the second guy makes me want to set my hair (what's left of it) on fire.
Mr. Grill Crew guy.

Six guys set up an assembly line to do a job that any one of them could do by himself. One guy pries the frozen patties apart and peels off the wax paper. Mr. Chief Cook mans the spatula, but briefly steps aside after placing the meat on the grill in deference to Mr. Revered Bearer of the Secret Seasoning Shaker Can. Mr. Bread Man lays out the bottom buns on the assembly table and deals out the top buns as the burgers are served. Mr. Wrapper Man can usually cover more than 90% of each burger with his hastily wadded foil sheets. And Mr. Just-In-Time Long Haul Logistics Man carries the burgers to the snack bar for sale to the general public.

When Mr. Flask Smuggler Guy infiltrates the crew, the size of the crew can double.
Don't think anyone has mentioned this guy - Sign Stealer Guy. We had a dad that would stand to the side of the backstop and try to pick up the other team's signs. Eventually he would figure them out, and try to signal to our batters what pitch was coming.
Mr Father Knows Best?

Years ago when I coached travel ball, there was a Dad (on another team) who would tell his switch hitting son which side of the plate to hit from. The kid was a pretty good hitter, but I always got a kick out of watching/listening to his father tell him to bat righty or lefty based upon the pitching match up. On occassion he would tell the boy to bat from the same side as the pitcher which made no sense. I'm hoping the father broke out of this habit.

BTW....I've re-read these posts in anticipation of the upcoming college and high school season. There are some absolute beauties in here. By far, it is my favorite thread.
Great stuff hear! Just getting started in school ball so I can't wait to meet a few more of these folks. Unfortunately I have seen quite a few of them and admittedly at a time or two have been one of these guys-I especially like the Grill crew.

I have scanned through most of this thread and can't believe I can not find Mr Scoreboard watcher guy. If this has been mentioned-I apologize and would love to find it.

This is the guy who is faster than the speed of light when it comes to the scoreboard. The scoreboard operator has got to be somewhat of a clairvoyant in order to stay ahead of this guy. He is pointing out balls and strikes before the ump can take a breath.
GOD help the scorekeeper if he does not put up a run the minute it crossed the plate. Even worse if you make an error you might have a riot on your hands. Unless of course the error is in his teams favor then you don't hear a peep.
quote:
MidloDad said....The newest species is Mr. Smart Phone. He is in constant contact with friends at the school's JV game and at other games involving teams in your district, and he provides updates as if he were the crawl that is always running under the game on ESPN.


I've seen Mr Smart Phone use his communications device for more nefarious purposes at college games. College students use Smartphones to heckle opponents or get info about their personal lives from their college profile or Facebook. Last year, one school in particular made fun of my son's teammates father as an ambulance chaser. Not cool!
Hard to recognize without a pair of binoculars:

Mr. So Nervous When My Son Pitches That I Have to View The Game From 100 Yards Down the Right Field Line Guy.

Makes you wonder whether he's spectator or a sniper.

As Groucho Marx once said, "Hey, I resemble that remark!"
Hey slotty, that's my wife you’re talking about... and it is Mrs., but you wouldn’t know because she is 100 yds away. Mrs. Nervous makes me turn into Mr. Smart Phone... having to give Mrs. Nervous the play by play and the count, because she is so far away she can’t see or hear any of the game. Smile
quote:
How did you know?


My Son told me. One of the Parents is the Mother of one of his travel Team Teamates. She was at all 5 tryout days. The other guy he didn't know & the kid didn't make the team. Like I said, Pretty embarrasing for the kid.
Please add to the list "Official Team Apparel Guy". This is the guy that has to have the same hat, jacket, pullover and logo'd mock turtleneck that only the players wear. This guy usually moonlights as Mechanical Flaw Fixer/Analyst guy and will drop baseball jargon as a qualifier to see if those around him REALLY know baseball like he does.

A typical conversation goes like this.

Me: "Just got here, what did my kid do in his 1st AB?"
OTA GUY: "Hadda lil duck snort to right"
Me: "duck snort??"
OTA GUY: "got sawed off"
Me: "So he got out?"
OTA Guy: "probably should have been but it had eyes"
Me: Oh! he got a hit....sweet!
quote:
Originally posted by AntzDad:
Any parents manage to make it to try outs? Big Grin


Our coaches make it clear in the parents' meeting before tryouts: No parents allowed at tryouts.

Although I'm sure there are some who hang out in the parking lot and try to watch.
quote:
Originally posted by AntzDad:
Any parents manage to make it to try outs? Big Grin


I had to pick my kid up one of days and consciously found a parking space at the far end of the lot. I did manage to spot a couple of dad's at the fence though. I'm going to assume they got there just a couple of minutes before I did. Wink
quote:
Originally posted by VaRHPmom:
quote:
Originally posted by AntzDad:
Any parents manage to make it to try outs? Big Grin


Our coaches make it clear in the parents' meeting before tryouts: No parents allowed at tryouts.

Although I'm sure there are some who hang out in the parking lot and try to watch.


Same here. Not only are parents not allowed at tryouts, the coach doesn't allow them to "view" practice during the season.

At the HS, viewing from the parking lot was not all that great anyway. From the closest edge of the parking lot to the field is a good 600-700 yards and the 1st base dugout blocks a good portion of the field. Yeah, you can sort of see what's going on but unless you have binoculars it's difficult to see the details.

And since the school is building a new football stadium (long story), there is now a huge mound of dirt blocking view of the BB field from the parking lot.

It's one thing to sit and wait for 5-10 minutes waiting for the player to finish practice (assuming he didn't or couldn't drive for whatever reason) and another to sit and watch the entire practice/tryout.
I may have posted this before, but it is possibly one of the funniest things I've ever heard of.

One of my neighbors actually set up a deer hunting stand in the trees adjacent to the field to watch high school JV tryouts. He was in full camo to boot. You just can't make stuff like this up! I still get a chuckle out of it 8 years later.
quote:
Originally posted by fenwaysouth:
I may have posted this before, but it is possibly one of the funniest things I've ever heard of.

One of my neighbors actually set up a deer hunting stand in the trees adjacent to the field to watch high school JV tryouts. He was in full camo to boot. You just can't make stuff like this up! I still get a chuckle out of it 8 years later.


fenway, that's an all-timer.
Been LMAO reading this and must chime in as I have a new "watcher" to add.
What about, what I like to call, 3rd,4th, and sometimes 5th Daddies who hang out just out of earshot next to the dugout. Now that my kid is in Pony and also on a professionally coached Travel team I have spotted this new species. They can be identified as the ones who always coached and are used to calling the shots but now find themselves outside the current power structure and now sadly hover like moths to a flame just outside the dugout trying to ingratiate themselves, I guess, to the new coaching staff. They seem unwilling, nay, unable to take their seats in the stands with the rest of the parents.
quote:
Originally posted by fenwaysouth:
I may have posted this before, but it is possibly one of the funniest things I've ever heard of.

One of my neighbors actually set up a deer hunting stand in the trees adjacent to the field to watch high school JV tryouts. He was in full camo to boot. You just can't make stuff like this up! I still get a chuckle out of it 8 years later.


Man, wish we had woods near our HS field....sounds like a great set-up....a lil hunting while watching some baseball
Just re-read the thread and people outside my office can't figure out why I break out in little giggles.

We have a pretty relaxed set of parents for our HS team. Since I am guilty of a few of these, I am going to see how many characters I can be in one given night.....I believe I'll have to start as the flask smuggler!
I have one from long ago (Little League in Vegas). The "Heat Bringer". This was the person who brought the portable propane heater to set in front of the bleachers on those cold Vegas evenings in the early Spring. (Okay, it was in the 60's. But that is cold for Vegas!)
I'm a bit embarrassed to admit that I've just read this thread (tome?) for the first time. Few things cause me to laugh out loud at the computer; but, this one was the exception...over and over and over!

My compliments to so many of you who contributed such accurate and hilarious "reports" on diamond dwellers we've all seen (and been!) at this wonderful past-time of ours.

As I read through, I thought of another "guy." He's related to "Scorebook Lady" and "Stats Guy," but he's moved his "game" into another realm electronically. I'll call him "Mr. Smartphone Scorekeeper Guy."

If you arrive late, don't go up and ask him for a summary of what's taken place unless the latest half inning has just concluded. He needs some prep time to pull up 3 or 4 summary screens to give you a proper report. If he had to do this during an inning, he'd risk missing a "4-6-3" or something; and that would really upset him.

Similarly, don't talk to him within 15 minutes of the first pitch. That's his period to make certain that he's got all of the opposing team's players' names spelled correctly and their numbers correctly associated with their names. It's also when he's to be found at the scorer's table, badgering the official scorer for the just-submitted lineups. If the official scorer has told him to go fly a kite, he'll turn his badgering in the direction of one of each team's assistant coaches to get the lineup.

He never really watches the game; at least not in the way that those of us less technologically adept fans do. He's way too preoccupied with the various jabs and pokes it takes to accurately memorialize the latest play or event on the field. If you see that he's frustrated as he jabs and pokes, it's a sure sign that he's poked when he should have jabbed and is working mightily to straighten things out.

Engaged in conversation, "Mr. Smartphone Scorekeeper Guy" will give you the rundown on all available scorekeeping apps in the Marketplace, their pros and cons, and their relative battery drain. Stepping away from baseball for a moment, he's also good for an expert opinion on which is better, iPhone or Droid.

So, keep at it fellow Baseball Sideline Observer Guys and Gals! It's threads like this one that bind us together...and that's a very good thing!
Prepster
You just reminded me of a Dad on my Son's travel team last year. we went to the Triple Crown Nationals in Myrtle Beach. We picked up an outfielder a couple of weeks before the trip. I didnt know his Dad at all. After winning game one he commented on how we should start pitching backwards to set ourselves up in the playoff round. I questioned this strategy & reminded him we only won the first game & had at least 3 more before the playoff rounds. He then handed me his smartphone that had an Excel Spreadsheet that made the Pythagorean Theorem look like instructions for Tic Tac Toe. There must have been 20 different scenarios. I laughed & said let's just try to win game two. Incidently, we lost game two & completely ruined his spreadsheets. Back to the drawing board he went.
quote:
Originally posted by YesReally:
When my father - a no-nonsense former college baseball player - began watching his grandchildren play baseball - one of his first comments - said with a combination of incredulousness and sarcasm - was "I have never seen so much positive reinforcement in all my life!"


Still my favorite post from this thread. True Classic!!
I hate to admit it, but I am Mr. Smartphone (or in my case, iPad) Scorekeeper Guy.

Started doing it last year, and wow, everything said about this guy is true.

Yep, I bug the team scorekeepers for lineups. Yep, I cannot be bothered during the first inning while I make sure I have the opposing teams numbers and positions (I don't care about their names). And yep, I do a lot of poking and jabbing, especially when I make that entry mistake and have to go back and correct half the inning. I hate trying to hold an umbrella and keep up with my role at the same time.

But I do a tremendous service for "Mr. Gotta Know the Strke to Ball Ratio Guy", and for "Mr. What Did This Guy Do Last At Bat Guy".

This is a great thread, and I look forward to seeing all of you characters at the ball park.
Prepster, that was hilarious. I tried to be that guy last summer and I was so frustrated by the jibbing and the jabbing and not knowing if someone is going to bat 9 or 12 or change their minds halfway I just gave up!
I guess that makes me mr. Frustrated scorekeeper guy who only wishes he knew the ball strike ratio.
The Ferris Bueller baseball fan. Because sometimes life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop to look, you might miss it.

It is 60+ degrees with not a cloud in the sky for a mid-week game. It is the the first week of college baseball, but you didn't get to see a live weekend game because your kid's college team doesn't start until March. You're travelling on business, but you time it just right between meetings and conference calls that you get to catch a college baseball game on the way to the hotel. Hey batter, batter, batter....swing batter!

PS....Big bonus if it goes into extra innings! Wink

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