Parent Meddling

Let the coach coach. Your job is to support the team and your son.

You state that the "Coach" was not using the double cut.

What position was the coach playing? My point here, is that it was F4 who did not use the double cut. If he is a true varsity second baseman, he should known to do this. If not him, then one of the other players should already know.

The coach may have taught this, but someone forgot. If he (coach) is not teaching this, a player needs to bring it up during the next practice during situational drills. Coaches always welcome input from his players......especially if it will help the team.

I agree with other replies for you to butt out. However, there is nothing wrong with teaching your son more efficient ways of playing ball. He should then share his knowledge.

PJ

Im thinking the coach is trying to teach the kids without the double cut good teams dont need to use it and can save a defender especially at the Varsity or JV levels I havent seen a double cut in years.

NY CATCHER,

I'm sure you're a great kid, but you need to slow down a bit. You speak as though you know the game inside and out. We all are still learning, please consider joining us!

All 30 Major League Clubs and nearly if not all College teams use the Double relay (cut) system.

On the play above (Sure double - Possible triple) the 1st baseman follows the runner to 2B and the 2nd Baseman gets behind the shortstop in double relay position. It's not done to actually double cut (both touching the ball) It's done in case the first throw is a bad one which is what was described in the original post.

Baltimore Orioles used a double cut in the game today.

Although I may be nitpicking, I don’t like the term “double cut” as used here because I don’t think it adequately describes (at least in my mind) the situation that BB27 describes in his original post. To me a “cut” is made on the infield grass by either the 1st or 3rd baseman with the intent of either trying to keep a runner from advancing or to corral an errant throw. In a “cut” the movement of the ball towards its intended target is either stopped altogether or redirected towards another position on the field.
I much prefer the term “tandem relay” instead of “double relay” to refer to the positioning of the shortstop and the second baseman, one some thirty feet or so behind the other, on a ball hit past the outfielders. “Double” relay to me implies that both of the middle infielders touch the ball whereas, if performed correctly, only one will serve as the relay man. As PGStaff stated, the purpose of the tail man on the tandem is to backup the front man in case the throw from the outfielder gets past him. Having a backup there allows the outfielder to get rid of the ball as quickly as possible after he finally gets to it without being overly cautious about making a perfect throw to the relay man.
When using the tandem relay, you are conceding a double but are minimizing the chances of the runner advancing beyond second base. My feeling is that had BB27’s son’s team properly employed the tandem relay, not only would the runner not have scored, he likely would not have been able to advance to third.
And if anyone thinks that major league teams, college teams, and well-coached youth teams do not use the tandem relay, they just haven’t been watching.

As far as parent meddling it always amazed me how "some" parents know more than the coach and they make it their business to let everybody know it. Of course as a coach you spend day after day with them practicing etc etc. If a parent is a doctor or a mechanic maybe coaches should get equal time. Naybe show up and observe them at their job and criticize what they do. After all it seems only fair. Of course life is not fair.

Isn't it funny how one can call a helpful suggestion-"meddling". I guess it's all in the way you present it to the coach.

Example 1: "Coach, you know you should teach your players to back each other up
on those relays from the outfield."

Example 2: " Coach, it's got to be frustrating for you when you teach players to back each other up on those relays in the outfield and and their minds seem to go blank."

Maybe a young coach would welcome a well-meaning "meddling" parent to help him
improve his coaching skills.

Some parents DO know a "little" about the game, and should also know when to keep their mouths shut and when to throw out a little bit of wisdom.

PG says we are all still learning and I agree.

Parents should meddle, it’s called parenting. While I believe there are tactful and not so tactful ways to do it, parents must be involved in all the programs their child is involved with at school.

Let’s all remember that the high school sports programs are an extension of the school programs. The playing field is an extension of the classroom, whether the coach wishes to acknowledge that or not. It is no different then the band room, the choral room, or 10th grade English.

Since when are English teachers unapproachable? Since when am I not suppose to approach an Algebra teaching about the fact that my son is not able to do well in their class. Why are high school sports coaches deemed so autonomous? Why do so many coaches view that they are not accountable to the same scrutiny that the classroom teacher is?

Why are so many high school coaches permitted to display behavior on the field that would never be tolerated in the classroom? or restrict how much parents can communicate to them their concerns about their child.

I hear from so many parents that they are never allowed to even ask a coach about their child’s’ performance or lack of playing time. Yet they agree that they would approach any other teacher at their child’s school and ask questions pertaining to their child’s level of involvement whether it is the music department, drama department, and art department.

Have others seen this??

Would be interested in others thoughts.

Moc 1

As they say there is a time and place.

My experience is that I get approached about playing time and position by the parents of kids who are getting more playing time than they deserve and none of them are asking for less playing time.

I never get approached by the parents of the best players who are sitting innings and playing other positions so that the weaker players can get some playing time.

It is always the parents of the player who got yelled at after not listening to quiet, personal instruction who have a problem because coach yelled at little Johnny.

I have a catcher I've yelled at twice this year. He was told in private many times how to block his signs. He didn't do it. He was told out loud during games and didn't do it. He was finally yelled at. He did it for a while.

At 13 he hasn't taken a single ball off his chest protector all season. He was told to stop coming out of his crouch early after an umpire made it clear we wouldn't get calls. He kept coming out of his crouch. He allowed two passed balls in a row on pitches that were borderline strikes coming up too early moving runners into scoring position and allowing one to score. We told him to stop coming out of his crouch. He yelled back at us. At that point we stopped yelling, pulled him and put in a decent catcher who we prefer to have at shortstop. After the game the parents approached me to tell me how much I embarrassed their kid. This is a kid who isn't willing to do what it takes to be a catcher because the parents have been telling him everything is OK and just keep having fun. At some point some of the kids need to be yelled at. At some point some of the kids need to be told the hard truth that they don't have a future in baseball unless they are willing to practice the hard parts of the game. I don't know how many talented players I've seen drop out of the game because they just weren't willing to get in front of a ground ball or how many wannabe catchers fail because they were never willing to block balls in the dirt. Most of them never realized they were taking themselves out of the game.

quote:

Originally posted by Catching Coach:
Parents should meddle, it’s called parenting. While I believe there are tactful and not so tactful ways to do it, parents must be involved in all the programs their child is involved with at school.

Let’s all remember that the high school sports programs are an extension of the school programs. The playing field is an extension of the classroom, whether the coach wishes to acknowledge that or not. It is no different then the band room, the choral room, or 10th grade English.

Since when are English teachers unapproachable? Since when am I not suppose to approach an Algebra teaching about the fact that my son is not able to do well in their class. Why are high school sports coaches deemed so autonomous? Why do so many coaches view that they are not accountable to the same scrutiny that the classroom teacher is?

Why are so many high school coaches permitted to display behavior on the field that would never be tolerated in the classroom? or restrict how much parents can communicate to them their concerns about their child.

I hear from so many parents that they are never allowed to even ask a coach about their child’s’ performance or lack of playing time. Yet they agree that they would approach any other teacher at their child’s school and ask questions pertaining to their child’s level of involvement whether it is the music department, drama department, and art department.

Have others seen this??

Would be interested in others thoughts.

I say BINGO.

And to add another......the good Algebra teacher teaches ALL his/her students, not just the ones getting A's (starters).

I've said many times, if my son is a nonstarter, I can deal with that. What I can't deal with is him not getting the reps he needs to improve. If a coach has a team of 20 players I want all 20 to receive the full dose of coaching. Not just the favored few.

quote:

Originally posted by CADad:
My experience is that I get approached about playing time and position by the parents of kids who are getting more playing time than they deserve and none of them are asking for less playing time.

I never get approached by the parents of the best players who are sitting innings and playing other positions so that the weaker players can get some playing time.

It is always the parents of the player who got yelled at after not listening to quiet, personal instruction who have a problem because coach yelled at little Johnny.

I have a catcher I've yelled at twice this year. He was told in private many times how to block his signs. He didn't do it. He was told out loud during games and didn't do it. He was finally yelled at. He did it for a while.

At 13 he hasn't taken a single ball off his chest protector all season. He was told to stop coming out of his crouch early after an umpire made it clear we wouldn't get calls. He kept coming out of his crouch. He allowed two passed balls in a row on pitches that were borderline strikes coming up too early moving runners into scoring position and allowing one to score. We told him to stop coming out of his crouch. He yelled back at us. At that point we stopped yelling, pulled him and put in a decent catcher who we prefer to have at shortstop. After the game the parents approached me to tell me how much I embarrassed their kid. This is a kid who isn't willing to do what it takes to be a catcher because the parents have been telling him everything is OK and just keep having fun. At some point some of the kids need to be yelled at. At some point some of the kids need to be told the hard truth that they don't have a future in baseball unless they are willing to practice the hard parts of the game. I don't know how many talented players I've seen drop out of the game because they just weren't willing to get in front of a ground ball or how many wannabe catchers fail because they were never willing to block balls in the dirt. Most of them never realized they were taking themselves out of the game.

It's called coaching. It's not all peaches and cream. That kid is doing the equivalent of looking you in the eye and flipping you the bird.

Time to make a change.

Teach,
Based on what I wrote you are correct.

Actually, in this case it is a really nice kid who loves the game but has just never been made to realize that you have to work on the hard parts of the game as well as the parts you enjoy. I don't think he's doing it on purpose. Edited - Just speculation but he's just started going to a catching instructor and my guess is the instructor worked with him on getting rid of the ball quickly and he was focused on that aspect of it. I really have no idea why he doesn't respond to directions. I can understand that deciding to block balls is a major issue for many kids, but why he can't get the concept of hiding his signs is beyond me. That shouldn't need to be said or demonstrated more than once.

The dad has no baseball background and thinks that if the kids just play and you don't do anything to hurt their feelings that they'll improve. Same Dad who asked to be one of our coaches and then after I told the kids that they had won a practice game in part because the other team didn't throw their best pitchers and took us lightly, and that they'd have to play better next time complained that I was being negative and stopped helping by just not showing up anymore. In the first regular season game they threw their better pitchers and our kids took the game lightly with predictable results. He also complained when I told the kids that they'd played well and we'd thrown our slower pitchers against the team with 6 returning all-stars, the pitcher who won the US LLWS championship game, and the league's best 13yo hitter and catcher they'd picked up a couple games ago because we didn't have a realistic chance to win that game with our harder throwing pitchers who I needed to throw against a younger team the next day. Once again I was being negative and should have told our mostly 13yo team that was missing our only 14yo "all-star" and one of our better 13yos that they were mercied in a game they had a chance to win rather than telling them that they played well to keep the game close for five innings before it got away from us when they scored off our harder throwing pitchers who I put in to get a couple batters each since they hadn't thrown in a week. Our harder throwing pitchers came back and threw quite well the next day and had to go a total of 8 innings between them.

Since you are the parent, if you don't like what the coach is doing, then take the kid off of that team. This is almost the exact statement word for word that I make each year in our parent's meeting. Anticipating the next statement about why should you have to do that, I have never understood any parent that doesn't like how their child is being treated and then doesn't have the anatomical makeup to remove them from that very thing that they percieve that they are being mistreated in.

I do think that there should be avenues of communication. The rule that we follow, if you wish to speak with me, our AD will be present, we will not discuss any other player, we will not discuss playing time, your son will be present. If you have a beef with any of my assistant coaches, you and I will meet. In fact this just happened and my recommendation is that that parent be a parent and remove their child.

Playing field and classroom? APPLES AND ORANGES. Now, Mr. Butler, Jon Jon deserves a better grade than a B because you taught Ron Ron better than you taught my Jon Jon and so,...
BTW, you can't just remove Jon Jon from the classroom since it is mandated by law. LOL! I don't see any of those parents out there that view their little Einsteins as getting shortchanged by the Science teacher. However, I do view most parents as good people that love their kids but who also have a hard time accepting their child's role on a team if their child isn't the star. JMHO!

I do agree with Teacherman that if you keep x amount THEN THEY ALL GET COACHED. We only have one difference and that is I don't throw live arm to anyone above #12. They do get live arm from my assistants. This is so that I can last. Call me a whip or whatever!

Wow, you all hate me now.

I have been on both sides of this issue and because of being on both sides I get a different perspective. As a coach for many years I had several occassions where parents would call the AD to complain how I was unfair and yes the anonymous letter telling what a horrible coach I was. I never understood administrators responding to anonymous complaints but that is another story. I have been it through my son through little league babe ruth and college. Now I was on the parent side. there were times when he got what appeared to be the short end of the stick. Tournament team selection or riding the pine when after starting three or four games in youth ball being sat because johnnie the all star was back from a trip. never said a word. Did i want to yes but I did not. He had to deal with it. High school some things happened where from my perspective as a parent I felt were unfair. But there is no law that says things are fair. kept my mouth shut. Lesson learned. He is now a senior in college and through. Walked on. worked his butt off. Those things that were "unfair" was what motivated him. I remember showing up at the games in youth ball where he was looked over because Johhnie all star was there. Well Johnnie all star is not playing ball anymore. I have been going to his college games for 4 years. Many of those games the first 2 years were drive up see the game no playing time get something to eat drive home. He has worked over the four years as to where he has spot started over the past 2. I was there when he got his first college hit as a freshman when he got a rare start. and I was there last season when circumstances dictated he play in a tournament game. went 3-4 and went yard. what led to that is what made it special for him and me. so maybe keeping my mouth shut and not fighting his battles was the best thing. Soon he will be out earning a living. He has to deal with his company or boss with no interfernce from me. Been there done that.

Will = EXCEPTIONAL POST!

Coaches,

You have missed the point of my post. Classroom and playing field are EXACTLY the same. The point of my post was to point out the difference in the way high school coaches present themselves to parents and players in comparison to the way they present themselves as teachers in the classroom.

It's not about whiney parents, or Johnnie the All-Star. It's not about the parents or the kids. It's about the apparent transfotrmation that takes place when a teacher walks out of the clasasroonm and onto the practice field.

If Teacherman and I are the only ones that have seen this then so be it. I am glad that my view is not widespread.

Anyone else see this out there??

quote:

Originally posted by CoachB25:
Will = EXCEPTIONAL POST!

Why?

Because of the good story that it is........

Or

Because he didn't make the coach face the music (because what you call a "good" parent sat there and took it).

I agree with a lot of your post B25, but when it takes an act of Congress to speak with you about my son, you're just a little too important.

And, I know why you do it. I know the causes of the "attitude". But, your solution is not the correct one.

Catching Coach couldn't me more right about the transformation between 3:00p and 3:15p.

Catching coach

In a previous post you talk about teachers being accountable. Are students not accountable. when a student does not do well could it be that he or she did not hold up their end of the bargain like studying or turning in assignments. now if I have a student who fails tests and fails to complete assignments do I reward them by inflating their grade? during my tenure I benched players who broke team rules like missing practice or not doing well in a certain class or not running a ball out etc etc etc. would we have had a better chance of winning with the as opposed to their replacements. I think that is when they are accountable and coaches are accountable because ignoring such things to "win" a game teaches nothing.

Teacherman

Yes I could have done what some have done. Make a scene after a game or demand a meeting with so and so. I chose not too. I did not take anything. My son was the one on the teams. He dealt with it.

quote:

Originally posted by Will:
Catching coach

In a previous post you talk about teachers being accountable. Are students not accountable. when a student does not do well could it be that he or she did not hold up their end of the bargain like studying or turning in assignments. now if I have a student who fails tests and fails to complete assignments do I reward them by inflating their grade? during my tenure I benched players who broke team rules like missing practice or not doing well in a certain class or not running a ball out etc etc etc. would we have had a better chance of winning with the as opposed to their replacements. I think that is when they are accountable and coaches are accountable because ignoring such things to "win" a game teaches nothing.

Everyone is accountable. And everyone should be accessable. When I have to have God and two or three witnesses to speak with a coach, he's a little too important.

I have never seen an Algebra teacher say hold on, I won't speak with you until the principal is here.

quote:

Originally posted by Will:
Teacherman

Yes I could have done what some have done. Make a scene after a game or demand a meeting with so and so. I chose not too. I did not take anything. My son was the one on the teams. He dealt with it.

You guys always have to doctor it up. It goes from I want to have the right to speak with the coach to "make a scene" or "making demands". I guess it makes your point look better.

No one said you had to exercise your right, Will. But that shouldn't preclude me from exercising mine if I so choose.

No parent has the right to tell me how to coach my team. No parent has the right to distract me from my job before after or during a game or practice. Parents do have the right to talk to me in private about concerns they have about their child. I respect that right and I am more than willing to address their concerns. When it comes to how we perform cut plays or when we bunt or who we decide to play etc that is the coaches decision and no one elses. If a parent has a problem with their sons playing time or development I am more than willing to meet with them and talk with them about (their son) and their concerns. But as far as how we coach the game they do not have the right to address these issues with me or anyother coach on our staff. No more than I have the right to go to there place of work and tell them how to do their job. If they want to sit in the stands and play arm chair quarterback that is their right if they choose to do so. I could careless. But I would never entertain a conversation with a parent about how we cut the ball etc. When I have to resort to getting advice from the parents in the stands on how to coach my team I need to find another job. There are many parents of players that are very knowledgable about the game of baseball. There are parents that have played baseball at all levels of the game. And some of these parents may have kids that play in programs that have not so knowledgeable coaches I assume. This has to be a tough situation Im sure for the parents. If you can not handle the situation by staying out of it and supporting the team the best solution is to find the kid a quality program to play in. Trying to coach the coach will never work. But this is just my opinion and how I see it. There might be HS programs in other areas where the coach would welcome some help. JMO. But if this is the case should he really be coaching HS baseball in the first place?

Teacherman

Yes everybody has rights including coaches and teachers. As a teacher I have to return calls from parents. It is part of my responsibility. Most are ok but i have had the occassion for parents to be rude and resort to accusations that are totally inappropriate. Do they have that right to be jack*&((). Of course if i recipricated they would be the first to have my head.

quote:

Originally posted by Will:
Catching coach

In a previous post you talk about teachers being accountable. Are students not accountable. when a student does not do well could it be that he or she did not hold up their end of the bargain like studying or turning in assignments. now if I have a student who fails tests and fails to complete assignments do I reward them by inflating their grade? during my tenure I benched players who broke team rules like missing practice or not doing well in a certain class or not running a ball out etc etc etc. would we have had a better chance of winning with the as opposed to their replacements. I think that is when they are accountable and coaches are accountable because ignoring such things to "win" a game teaches nothing.

As Teacherman and I have stated before this is about HS Coaches and their willingness to be accessible to parents. That's all. Don't confuse the issue with anything other then this.

Teacherman, I have done this for a long time and I would say that with a majority of parents, I wouldn't need all of those steps. However, in one of those "parent meetings" where I was trying to help the parent and kid out, I got blindsided by a right hook after I walked away from that meeting. Then, things got nasty. That is the reson for the steps. The player is present because I won't talk behind anyone's back.

One more time, I will post this, let the player take care of his problem through communication with the coach. Most coaches I know really care for their kids. I know I do. Now, if Jon Jon earns his spot well, fine. However, if Jon Jon now starts playing after the Parent talks to the coach, then Jon Jon will NEVER be given credit for earning that starting spot. Then, like some plague, everyone else will be campaigning for their sons. Everything here is JMHO!

Catching coach

What does accessible mean? Maybe after each game the coach should hold a confernce to answer questions from parents?

Will

I too would question a coach who holds parent meetings after games and is accessible. I didnt even do that in LL. One meeting before the season began was all that was needed--here are the rules folks--if you don't like them you can get off the bus now.

In this day and age I would want the AD in any meeting as well as the player and parent(s)

And then sometimes a simple " If you don't like the situation you do not have to stay " will suffice.

I also think the coach has to "know" the parents as they all need to be treated individually

Funny story--talking with a Division I college coach and he tells me he gets a call from the mother of a kid who is seeing limited playing time. In closing she asks the coach not to tell her son or husband that she called. A few hours later the father of the same boy calls and goes thru the same scenario and asks the coach to please not let his wife or son know that he called. What THE PARENTS did not know was that the boy had already met with the coaches and was satisfied with the reasons why is playing time was limited. HE had no porblems with his role on the team.

It seems our kids are lot more mature than we want to give them credit for.

quote:

Originally posted by CoachB25:
Teacherman, I have done this for a long time and I would say that with a majority of parents, I wouldn't need all of those steps. However, in one of those "parent meetings" where I was trying to help the parent and kid out, I got blindsided by a right hook after I walked away from that meeting. Then, things got nasty. That is the reson for the steps. The player is present because I won't talk behind anyone's back.

One more time, I will post this, let the player take care of his problem through communication with the coach. Most coaches I know really care for their kids. I know I do. Now, if Jon Jon earns his spot well, fine. However, if Jon Jon now starts playing after the Parent talks to the coach, then Jon Jon will NEVER be given credit for earning that starting spot. Then, like some plague, everyone else will be campaigning for their sons. Everything here is JMHO!

The problem with this, as you know, and as you use it to your benefit, is the kid is too intimidated to have the full discussion. He may bring it up. You two sit down to talk. The "adult thing" takes over. The kid is too intimidated to say what he feels. So, you have your "feel good" meeting and go on.

You act like you've done your job. The kid leaves frustrated.

But, you don't have to face the music.

And, as far as the sucker punch leading to your meeting rule, that is like saying I'll never drive again because I had an accident. Odds are it will never happen again.

I think we know the real reason for the meeting rule. Talking with parents, especially about playing time, is a real downer for the coach. Not something you look forward to. BUT, a necessary evil. Not an easy job telling, let alone convincing, a parent that their son is a little short.

It should be done. It should be done as often as the parents ask (within reason). The coach has to make himself accessable.

And, if I'm the parent, my son will not know the meeting took place. A real key to the future

quote:

Originally posted by Coach May:
No parent has the right to tell me how to coach my team. No parent has the right to distract me from my job before after or during a game or practice. Parents do have the right to talk to me in private about concerns they have about their child. I respect that right and I am more than willing to address their concerns. When it comes to how we perform cut plays or when we bunt or who we decide to play etc that is the coaches decision and no one elses. If a parent has a problem with their sons playing time or development I am more than willing to meet with them and talk with them about (their son) and their concerns. But as far as how we coach the game they do not have the right to address these issues with me or anyother coach on our staff. No more than I have the right to go to there place of work and tell them how to do their job. If they want to sit in the stands and play arm chair quarterback that is their right if they choose to do so. I could careless. But I would never entertain a conversation with a parent about how we cut the ball etc. When I have to resort to getting advice from the parents in the stands on how to coach my team I need to find another job. There are many parents of players that are very knowledgable about the game of baseball. There are parents that have played baseball at all levels of the game. And some of these parents may have kids that play in programs that have not so knowledgeable coaches I assume. This has to be a tough situation Im sure for the parents. If you can not handle the situation by staying out of it and supporting the team the best solution is to find the kid a quality program to play in. Trying to coach the coach will never work. But this is just my opinion and how I see it. There might be HS programs in other areas where the coach would welcome some help. JMO. But if this is the case should he really be coaching HS baseball in the first place?

Great post. Coach is in charge and not afraid to talk about it.

quote:

Originally posted by Will:
Teacherman

Yes everybody has rights including coaches and teachers. As a teacher I have to return calls from parents. It is part of my responsibility. Most are ok but i have had the occassion for parents to be rude and resort to accusations that are totally inappropriate. Do they have that right to be jack*&((). Of course if i recipricated they would be the first to have my head.

Of course they have the right to be a jack a$$. And on that particular day you get the job of taking it. Not a pleasant duty. But, that's what the job calls for.

This "I want all the good but none of the bad" doesn't exist anywhere. Why do teachers and coaches think they should have it that way?

Teacherman

a policeman yes? i do not care what your thoughts are if a parent or anybody is rude or abusive I do NOT have to put up with it. I will listen but there comes a time when the listening stops and the person is asked to leave.

I can see B25 approaching an umpire who holds to the same rules he holds his parents to.

Game on the line. Ump makes a questionable call. He approaches the ump to discuss the call. The ump says I won't talk about it unless the umpire supervisor is here. (the umpire got sucker punched once before)

The very best umpires are those that communicate. They are in charge, and you know that, but they communicate well and civilly.

Not a bad formula for the coach either.

quote:

Originally posted by Will:
Teacherman

a policeman yes? i do not care what your thoughts are if a parent or anybody is rude or abusive I do NOT have to put up with it. I will listen but there comes a time when the listening stops and the person is asked to leave.

Absolutely. But B25 doesn't allow for the listen time. Not without the act of Congress.

BTW, be sure to add the rude and abusive language to your point. Makes your rules look better. Even though that is the exception.

Ill tell you something that really helps out for everyone. I sit down all the time and talk to my players. At practice on the bus while were eating etc. It goes kind of like this. I know that you are not playing alot Jon. I see your role like this son. When Bill pitches I like you at thirdbase. But when he is not I really dont feel that your the best option for us. I dont want you to resign yourself to this role and stop working. I want you to bust your butt and prove me wrong ok. But what I do expect you to do is take every opportunity you get help this team win anyway you can. Take every opportunity in practice to make yourself the best player you can. I want you to know that Im proud of the way you are going about your business and I want you to continue to work hard ok. Be honest and upfront with the guys and let them know what the deal is straight up. When you have opportunities to give them a chance dont pass them up. It only makes for a stronger team and program. Alot of times you can avoid problems by just letting people know upfront how you feel and why you are doing what you are doing. The players understand and are alot smarter than people think. Where you run into problems is when you dont communicate with your players and are not straight up with them. Now this does not mean that the parents are going to see it this way you even if the players do. Then we can have the meeting and thats fine. But the parents are not playing for me. If they hate me dont like me dont trust me or dont think Im straight up with them well there is really nothing I can do but be honest. But the players dont have to like me but if they dont trust me or respect me or dont think Im straight up with them I wont have much of a program or a relationship with them as well. Im not saying that I am the guru here because alot of you here have just as much experience if not more than me. Its just my opinion.

You ever notice how some umpires are not social because they are so incompetent while the best ones have no problem entering into a reasonable discussion.

Similarly, the coaches who can defend their position make themselves accessible. However these are the coaches who are the ones who don’t need to be accessed as much because their positions make sense as they can usually defend them.

As a coach I would have no problem entertaining a question on something like, why we cut the ball a certain way or why we instruct a technique. What’s the big deal if you can defend your position? Perhaps the individual asking is a coach for your player’s younger brother or something.

If you actually know what you are doing, share your knowledge. Now on the other hand, if you don’t know what you are doing, perhaps you need to be evasive.

It’s too easy just to tell a parent to take your ball and go home if you don’t like it. Why not listen to the parent’s concerns address them. Communication can solve a lot of problems and a lot of times it doesn’t take much.

Nothing I have wrote condones a parent who is out of line or who complains about everything. I would also insist that an appointment is made for a meeting and I do believe it may be prudent for the coach someone there present as a witness. I think automatically including the kid there is not always in the best interest of the kid but serves an ulterior motive for the coach.

Regarding not discussing playing time: If the coach can honestly say someone is better for the team and that their kid needs to get better at hitting, catching and throwing, then the coach should have no problem defending his position. On the other hand, if the one kid is playing because he comes from a prominent family or his brother is helping to coach, then I’d be surprised if the coach would want to entertain this discussion.

We all know that everyone’s personality is different and some people are just a little easier to get along with than others. In most cases a little communication can handle most problems. As others have said, preemptive communication as well as a reasonable written policy can go a long way to mitigating and even eliminating future problems.

Veteran, well-respected coaches have dealt with these situations for years and have learned what works best for them. I do believe the Coach B’s and Coach May’s of the world do a reasonable job of communicating and do well because they have earned respect but many others do not.

SBK

In your mind does the term "accessible" mean they should have meetings after the game?

Does it mean they hold meetings without the AD present?

Does "accessible" mean that I am around when we are on weekend trips to explain why we did what in the game? To the point they call me in my hotel room?

Does "accessible" mean my explanation to the young man in question will suffice?

Can a coach be a real good coach without being "accessible"?

Does the term "accessible" defined the same for a HS coach as well as a "select" team coach?

This is a super topic and I hope a lot of the parents are following the discussion

Wow, this has turned into quite a debate.

Starting from the original posters question regarding the relay it has evolved in another direction.

When I coached I hated talking to “some” parents, but like all coaches it was unavoidable at times. Coaches, parents, players, administrators are all people and communication is an important ingredient in being good at what you do.

The coaches who post here seem to be very knowledgeable and confident. I’m sure if they had a parent who was a former Major League Manager they would try to pick his brain. At least I hope everyone would want to. Then there are those coaches that are beyond learning anything.

On the other hand, I once had a father come up to me and say… “I hate to *****”… I stopped him immediately by saying… “Then Don’t”! We did end up talking over the situation later.

I believe most coaches can be approached, if done in the right way at the right time.

In the situation that started this thread, the right way (at the right time) might be…. If one really cares enough… This should be done in a non threatening manner and probably started by other positive comments. “Coach I was curious why you guys don’t use a double relay system. At this point the coach should be able to answer that very civil question. It should not turn into an argument. The coach could say it’s none of your business or he could respond. If the parent shows disrespect, they should expect the same treatment.

Please don’t anyone take this the wrong way because we are talking about coaches not singling out one or two coaches. I do get tired of coaches who feel that they need to stick up for every single person who has ever coached.

Common sense should be enough to realize there are varying degrees of coaching expertise. Just as there are varying degrees of players, teachers, students, umpires, policeman, etc.

It really bothers me when a coach who has proven he doesn’t deserve respect and knows very little about the game becomes Mr. Dictator and beyond any questioning.

A coach should appreciate a parent who has something to say… discussing it directly with him rather than taking it to those higher up. I’ve seen it the other way around, where parents start a “get rid of the coach” campaign.

I’ve even seen excellent coaches lose their job because of parent groups starting petitions to get the coach fired. I’ve even seen one of the finest men I’ve ever known who was extremely knowlegable, kind and fair... feel the wrath of parents and lose his job.

Politics mean different things to different people. Being diplomatic is beneficial for both sides… the coach and the parents. And yes “meddling” is still just “meddling” and parents should avoid it.

So the question IMO is what is meddling? That brings us back to the original question.