How a coach found players...

Nice post. As a parent who just helped son through recruiting process and I realize now that we didn't do some things we should have, you are right on. I still know some kids that are wanting to play ball and are just now getting proactive out of desperation. I also know a kid that is a good player that just hasn't gotten the right fit yet. Parents and players have to realize that they are the ones responsible for making this happen. NOT their coach, not a particular school, but THEM.

Advisor

You are saying what has been said all along--be PROACTIVE---schools wont come to the player--the player has to go to the schools in one way or another--DO NOT SIT BACK AND WAIT FOR THE KNOCK ON YOUR DOOR!!!

trhit-
It always helps to give real life examples of the Proactivity concept. I know I am not inventing something new...

advisor

Stop be so darn sensitive--I was just reinforcing what you stated--there is that "chip" again

Advisor thanks for the post....very good message....and examples. Hope parents and players get it.....

TR, try replying like this some time and you might not have to suggest Advisor is being too sensitive.

Advisor, Great job of giving some real life examples that bear out what many of us already know, it pays to be proactive in the recruiting process.

Advisor, if you have any more stories or come across any more like that, we’d enjoy hearing them.

advisor - Thanks for the examples. Sometimes on this site, people talk the talk and don't walk the walk, but I always listen to two types of people: 1) Those that have been there, done that and 2) those share stories about those who have been there, done that.
By the way, TR has always been very blunt on this site and is not going to change that. "Sensitivity", as he calls it, is not is strong suit, so try not to take too much of what he says personally.

my wife says I really am senstive deep down, I guess this proves I am!

No offense, I know everyone is trying to help others.

I agree with the previous posts. You have to be proactive. One thing we as parents have to understand is WE are the ones that have to be proactive, more so than our sons. We are the experienced ones, the ones that have the transportation, and the ones that control the bank account. Whether we like to admit it or not we control much of the recruiting activity simply because we are the parent. Sure our sons have their own dreams and goals but they have to rely heavily on us in order to achieve those goals. Parents and sons working together with a common goal, while challenging at times, does improve the odds of your son reaching his goals and realizing his dreams. Best of luck to all!!
Fungo

Fungo - this begs a more important topic, IMO. I personally know a lot of parents who have a tough time communcating with their sons (and daughters) in general. The college search, baseball recruiting topic being just one such topic...for those who are having trouble talking to their kids...do you and others have suggestions for how to best approach being proactive without seeming overbearing to the child and makinig things harder...I am sure there will be "soft" parenting skills and "hard" skills, but I think it might serve some folks well to hear how the old timers made it work...

Advisor....my husband and I are fortunate to have a good relationship with our son....but....knew I had to explain to son why we needed to be pro-acitve....considering the work involved (and yes, most of it falls on the parents)....anyway....I sat him down and had him read about the "5% Stat".....you know....the one that says only 5% of all high school players go on to college ball.....it hit home.....

Advisor

Why do you think parents of HS baseball players have trouble talking to their kids ?

What do you base this statement on? I don't think you have HS age kids--

Not for nothing if you havent been there then how can you make a statement like that ?? Not a knock on anyone but just my feelings

I see all of the kids who play for us having some pretty decent relationships with their parent(s) and I too have been there--this is one aspect of the recruiting scenario where I think EXPERIENCE is KEY.

Tom - I speak with parents all the time. They contact me directly at times and explain their situation to me unsolicited, I belong to my local high school booster club and parents tell me things in confidence because of my knowledge. So I am not making it up that some people in this vast world struggle to talk about this important topic called college,in a constructive way. Why would you assume that these things don't exist? It is not just baseball parents - football, s****r, etc. I have heard from those parents too.

I talk to college and high school coaches and guidance counselors who have told me stories of the parents and kids not being on the same page.

Of course this is not a problem that everyone has. But some do. And I don't need my own high school age child to come to that conclusion.

Sure talking about *** and drugs is tough for a lot of people, but we can't assume that a parent trying to give "advice" about college is having success. Thats all.

Trying to open discussion for people out there. Nothing wrong with that.

Tom, it's amazing you have earned such a high reputation on this website without ever going out of your way to bring any unique, helpful, or thoughtful recruiting information to the message board. The vast majority of your posts are for people to call you so you can sell your showcases, listing top recruits in the area to promote your website, or do disparage other people who have something thoughtful to contribute like Advisor did again. Knowledgeable recruiting people like Advisor, myself and others on this board see right through it, while most others do not and the fact that you have been able to basically use the hsbaseball message board for your own personal agenda for the last 5 years doesn’t go unnoticed.

Whenever I post on the board I always try to bring something to the board that has a lot of value and something that has either been confirmed or researched (or both) otherwise I try to bring a unique story that has some long-term value to people. And once in a while I make a comment simply to make a comment.

For the last 17+ years both Advisor and myself have been researching and writing about the recruiting process. We are both former college athletes “who have been there and done that” and we have taken are passion for athletics and recruiting and continued to help future families in any way we can. We regularly talk to coaches at both the high school and college level, parents, students, teachers, guidance counselors, camp directors and anyone else in between. We speak at school, conventions, and camps and on the side of a field when given the opportunity. We know what coaches are doing, what is successful, what isn’t, what they are looking for and the challenges they have and for 8 years we have expressed this information in any way we can to help people.

Unless your showcases are free, you won’t find two individuals who write more and do more for families in the recruiting process while making little money in return and your attempts to belittle us because we don’t have a son who played D1 baseball or because we aren’t parents is just embarrassing.

Have you helped parents in the past? I am sure you have? Do you know something about recruiting? I am sure you do. The bottom line is there are other people who also have a great deal of knowledge about this subject and try to express themselves through different means, and every time you chime in to disparage others and glorify yourself you simply hurt current and future families.

Dave G
http://www.varsityedge.com

I think there are a lot of parents who experience difficulty talking with their kids, particularly regarding certain subjects. The communication problem is not confined to parents of baseball players, nor are they exempt.

Generally, it takes two to "communicate," otherwise, someone is probably just talking. I LIKE to think I have a GENERALLY good rapport with both my boys (16 and 13), who will freely discuss a lot of things with me, but I've certainly noticed issues on which they are far less "communicative." I've also noticed that these issues are often the ones that, IMO, need the most discussion. Getting a two-way communication going on these issues can be just plain 'ole hard work...like pulling teeth. Unfortunately, I'm not always successful and am left with the uncomfortable feeling I'm just lecturing.

Baseball is RARELY one of the problematic issues, but career plans, some school or relationship issues and/or social activities are. Not having been born with perfect parenting (or communication skills), I'm always interested in ideas as to how I might better communicate with my kids, getting them to either "open up" more, or become less resistant to discussion of important issues.

Ghouse,

While I’m sure you would have preferred to not have to submit your previous post, I applaud you for attempting to bring a little accountability to this board. It amazes me how some people seem to get a free pass while doing what others would get admonished for.

To All:

I personally believe that HS baseball players are a different breed of young athlete. I would never compare baseball players to hoops kids, football players or s o c c e r players. From my experience with our kids I have found the family relationships to be great and Dads and Moms always seemed to have baseball conversation access with their sons.

We are talking baseball convo here not convo regarding religion or politics.

I have always said what I believed not what had to be politically correct. I am what I am--like it or not.

That being said

Advisor and I have exchanged PMs and I consider the case closed. Why others see it as their job to be involved I cannot fathom.

Ghouse-- see thru what ever you want as that is your priviledge-- my discussion point was with advisor anyway--

SBK-- I do not need you to post tips for me on how I should post and as for accountability--I am accountable to myself and my family--nobody else

In closing let me say this-- I have been here from the beginning of this great site and never ever changed my personalityor ID. I am a stand up guy who is what he is, like me or not, and I will not change--it is too darn late for that

As for an agenda as ghouse infers-- YES I have one and that is to help every kid and his family that I can--if that is a bad thing then so be it.

Congrats to all the young men drafted yesterday and today and may their dreams come true.

SBK--i agree completely about some getting a free pass.

With regards to the original post, as I mentioned, I appreciate someone sharing their experiences and not just their opinions. The point of this whole discussion is for parents to be Proactive, to the best of their ability. If they can not help their sons because their sons do not want to be helped, then they can hold their heads up knowing they did the best they could.
I know this because in high school I was a know-it-all with my parents. While this is not directly related to baseball, it still serves to show the mindset of some teens. My parents tried to give me good advice and some I listened to and some I didn't. Being a parent myself, I too know that their are some things my kids listen to and some they will not. If my kids choose to pursue next level sports, be sure that my wife and I will be very proactive in our efforts.
By the way TR, a couple of phrases came to mind when I read what you wrote: 1) "You can teach an old dog new tricks", 2) "It's never to late to change", and 3) "You can catch more bees with honey than you can with vinegar." Needless to say I completely agree with accessment of SBK, ghouse, and fan1516. You can state things anyway you choose to, politically correct or not, but you are wasting your breath if no one wants to hear them or cares for the WAY you share them.
It seems to me you have A LOT of experience in this industry and I would like to hear it, but could care less what you say because of the WAY you express it. We are not saying you have to change who you are change your personality. Besides, who would you rather have listened to when they were alive, Ghandhi with his soft-spoken demeaner that moved thousands to revolt against their oppressors, or Napolean, who was kwown to be loud, boisterous, and hated by those he lead?
I will not turn this site into a philosophical debate, so I will step-down off of my soapbox.