HS Coach Goes Ballistic-Curses Out Team (Audio)

Just saw this story on the national news. I feel bad for the kids, the school and the community.

 

I agree with PG's analysis of HE and I, and We and Team and shared responsibility both in good times and in difficult ones...

According to one of the follow up articles this is a respected teacher and coach with a reputation for being passionate. What an awful thing for a student and/or athlete to have in his life <--- sarcasm. The coach just happened to step over the line with how he expressed his passion this time. People make mistakes. I would hate to see respected teacher/coach's removed because they went to far once. I wonder how many of these kids have had their parents in their face in their life? It won't kill them a teacher/coach crossed the line once.

Here are a few things I feel bad about - kids that go to bed hungry, kids born with debilitating birth defects, couples that can't have kids...

 

Kids getting an ass chewing with f'you....no, sorry I don't give a rats butt for any community, school, or player where that happens.  This is one time it was recorded, the countless times this has happened at many HS and not been recorded, I'll venture went without second thought from the boys after the meeting finished.  Like always, the parents are the ones bothered, not the kids...they said as much in the interviews, although NOBODY wants to let them decide....everyone has already decided they are VICTIMS for them.  Yeah we better protect them, and we'll wonder why they have no ability to protect themselves later on.

especially since the coach regretted it, apologized to his team in advance of the story going  public.   It doesn't really take a "real man"  to yell at and berate kids maybe a third of his age.  That's an easy and cheap path to real manhood.  But it does take a real man to own up to his mistakes, apologize to his team, ask their forgiveness then move on together.  That's the part that actually makes me respect him.  If I were a parent of one of those players, I'd be willing to forgive, move on,  call it a group learning experience.  The boys would learn how seriously the coach took this job and how passionately he cares.  They coach would learn something about treating his players with mutual respect, not making it about him,   but still holding them to high standards.  Opportunity for growth for all. 

slugger,

 

you never answered my question....if he knew the hunt was about to start, and apologized to save his butt....then you still respect him?....

Agreed.  So are we all good on this now?

No, I wouldn't.  That would be an insincere apology to save his sorry arse, rather than a sincere apology that was a step toward repairing the wrong.   A person who recognize that they have done wrong, who owns their action, learns from their mistake, and tries to help turn the situation toward the good,  deserves lots of respect.  We all make mistakes.   We all need to be forgiven sometimes.  And even old guys have the capacity for growth.  

yeah

Bfs - I'm sorry I wasn't clearer... The "I feel bad" part was that in this recordable, instant media age, it stinks that this has go viral.  I've had my a** chewed out several times in my life and it's still there behind me! I learned a few lessons and I've chewed a few folks out too... Just too bad it couldn't have been handled locally and leave it at that.

You can't hear that kind of rant, or passion, and expect this old timer only did this once...no way, to think so is gullible.  To that end, accepting his apology as sincere, and commending him for having seen the light is equally gullible.  He's not sorry he did what he did, but I bet he is sorry, he has a player who felt he needed to record him!

 

I know there are differing viewpoints in life, always will be.  I am just shocked at the fervor against this guy for perceived mistreatment.  I would be thrilled for my son to have played for a coach like this, or Bobby Knight, Augie Garrido, Don Haskins. 

 

Don't get me wrong, I do agree that verbal abuse does exist, however in the context of an after game talk does not equate to that in my book. 

 

 

The PG comment was kind of in sync with what you are pointing out.  Self preservation from a self centered guy.  As for respect we see it the same.

I also think you are right about the current state of the world when you say a player is not on equal footing with the coach and should not be.  It is an important point on two levels: 

 

1)  It helps explain a point of view that since players do not have meaningful recourse it is important that there is extra care given to avoid and eliminate anything that is or could be reasonably viewed as abusive. 

 

2)  Life lesson - if you don't like the boss you need to suck it up and live with it or make a move.  So young man be prepared to quit playing ball if you find it problematic because you will not get the coach to change and you have nowhere to go to get it changed.  Or go to a different school if that is an option i.e. new employer.

Honestly, because I thought that you would be mature enough to recognize what I was saying. The others were already doing the insertion of false ideas, so any critique I would have done on them would have been answered with "you believe x, y, z" when I am not taking sides on this.

luvbbal,

 

we are on the same page then, and I agree with your two points.  Only I do not think what happened is reasonably viewed as abusive. 

 

Nonetheless, I appreciate your response.

 

Moving on....again!

I can't believe this thread is still active, but would not ask moderators to close it as much as I wish it was. I read it a few days ago and didn't feel compelled to make any comments or think more of it. The post, I saw as just another case of something we've all probably seen in our lives at work or in sports and grew from in some manner whether the coaches actions bothered us or not. Now, looking at the last 3-4 pages since my initial reading, I am disappointed in the dialogue. It seems most replies are just attacking posters OPINIONS. We all have opinions and that's what makes for great debate. This thread doesn't seem to me to be debate. This is not what made me a regular reader of this forum and is below the standard of behavior I have come to expect and appreciate here. This is my opinion.

Yup to below and just too much testosterone here as well!

Yes, this thread reminds me of the Peter Banning/Rufio scene in the movie Hook.

 

Rufio: Boil-dripping, beef, fart-sniffing bubble butt!
Kids: Bangarang, Rufio!
Peter Banning: Someone has a severe ca-ca mouth, you know that?
Rufio: You are fart factory, Slug-slimed, sack-of-rat-guts-in-cat-vomit, cheesy, scab-picked, pimple-squeezing finger bandage. A week old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side!
Kids: [in unison] Ugh!
Peter Banning: Substitute chemistry teacher.

 

Hook would have been fired in today's world.

If I fall into this category, I apologize. 

The world is coming to an end. A coach used profanity and yelled at his players. Now remember it was done in a locker room away from others. does that make it right.Not really. The fact that a player taped it and it became public is something I find hard to deal with. By the way maybe some of those that are blasting this coach should stand in the hallway between classes and hear the language of the kids. 

Some of us do. Not that students cursing around each other is particularly comparable to a HS coach cursing at HS players, but I can't recall the last time I even heard a profanity from a student in a school setting. There was once from Varsity player at a practice (an admiring expletive on a BP homerun), but that got quashed instantly by the HC.

 

Now, I live in a pretty tame upscale suburb, but I have no illusions about the sort of language kids use with each other. Interestingly, they seem to largely be able to understand the idea of context which seems to be escaping a lot of folks here.

I'll bet if we were all in a pub together, we'd discover that those who find this completely inexcusable and those who find it business-as-usual would find common grou...

 

Wait. That's not true.

 

They'd probably end up on opposite sides of the room or in fisticuffs -- because this is the kind of issue that has no real middle ground. Well, thank God we're still able to fight about it in cyberspace, at least. 

 

As we approach Memorial Day, for me it's worth remembering that the only reason we can fight this out here is because tough men have fought and died to make it possible: Men who probably didn't consider F-U abuse, whether as young ball players, employees, soldiers, sailors, airmen or Marines.

 

So not that it matters ... but I'm fine with this.

 

 

 

 

I'm quite certain I could discuss this with another adult in person without resorting to violence. The fact that you don't seem to think that's possible says quite a bit.

 

I'm equally certain my grandfather, who graduated from West Point and parachuted into Normandy 70 years ago then spent a year in a POW camp would not agree that he did it to make this argument possible.

Jeez, Jac: At some point you might just lighten up and see the bigger picture.

 

He didn't sacrifice for free speech?

 

Ugh.

I'm certain he wouldn't have considered the idea that a HS coach going on a profanity laced tirade at his great-grandson was something that needed protection. I also don't think he'd be real receptive to the idea that "free speech" has anything to do with what we're doing here, or that his service should somehow be tied to a fairly inane online argument.

 

 

 

 

You are right!  it doesn't mean that anyone else has to listen to your BS!

 

Couldn't resist! 

Hey, I pretty much don't have a problem with your opinion, but it seems that you do with others. 

But that's ok, you and I come from different places and spaces, so I can see why you  I may not agree!

Are you sure that you are not someone else?

I'm quite certain I'm me, and have been for some time. Never found the need to be anyone else.

I remember back when I got chewed out by my coach. I remember he used words that were not too flattering. I was not emotionally scarred. I did not go home and tell my father who then made a stink all over the place.that was 40 plus years ago. Fast forward. My son was complaining or whining how the coach really got on him when he got doubled off base on a bunt. I listened. I said you know how you can fix that? Don't get doubled off. 

I still can not get over a player taping his coach then letting that get out there. Why would they do that?

 

 

Oh the irony of any baby boomer calling anyone else the entitlement generation.

Unless the coach allows parent, umps or players to talk to him with the same "passion"; he is demonstrating he is nothing but your typical mental midget bully.

We learn when we share. We enjoy when we can share without being attacked for simply stating our opinion. We are all not going to have the same opinion. We will disagree on many topics while we share this site. Why do certain people have to resort to personal attacks on others? Why instead of simply stating their opinion they resort to smart as s comments and condescending remarks? You know there are people who could give us some good stuff who simply melt away in the background because they don't want to be subjected to this type of stuff. That is simply not a good thing.

 

You can voice your opinion and allow others to voice their opinion without attacking them in a personal way. Without the personal attacks and condescending comments. Diversity of opinion and the ability to do it with respect for that diversity is what makes this site so special. When we lose that I don't care too participate. I don't come hear to get in pissing contest with people or read pissing contest between people.

 

I don't believe you open up people's minds to seeing your point of view when you start personally attacking them and trying to ram your opinion down their throat by trashing their opinion. I state my opinion. I read others opinions. Sometimes I say to myself Ok that makes sense. And I walk away feeling like I gained something from participating in the discussion. And then there are times when I walk away thinking like I have after reading the last couple of pages of this thread. Why do I even read this stuff? Oh well have a good day folks.

 

Coach May,

AGREE 100%

 

I think it is why many old timers like yourself and others don't come on very often. What a loss that is for the parents who really want to learn. This thread has seriously made me just want to move on.

 

Our sons are not playing anymore, I know yours is coaching, but us and so many others have so much to share. I and my family our moving on from the game. I have many projects and things to do)

 

I stay due to emails from parents asking me to. But this thread started out good like JH had stated and then just went south.

 

I cant stand when people are being attacked and belittled and told their parenting skills are awful and their kids will be failures due to not agreeing with something a coach did.

 

Very sad

 

 

 

If you want somebody's opinion respect what they say or do not ask for it. 

Do not appropriate a status that you have not earned to try to support an argument. You are not your grandfather and you are not entitled to vicarious appeals to his status.

Seriously?  You're a better authority on my grandfather, who I spent significant time with as an adult, than I am? Someone else is allowed to invoke the memory of unnamed veterans in support of his opinion, and I can't mention the name of one I actually knew and loved?  That's literally the most impressively bad argument I've seen in a thread full of them. I suppose you've some ideas about how I should raise my kids as well?

 

With regards to the general tone of the entire thread as mentioned by Coach_May, I'm pretty much immune to internet flames (notwithstanding Matt's attempt here), so I don't really care about the personal attacks, but I can understand why other people wouldn't appreciate them.  I do make every attempt to avoid using personal language myself, but I'm a sarcastic person by nature, which I know doesn't always play in the written word the way it does in speech, so just to be clear I'm not personally attacking anyone here, but I am at odds with a lot of the opinions expressed.

 

I'd also point out that it's seriously ironic that people have greater sensitivity to the tone of the discussion of this topic in anonymous forum than they do for an adult who spent 17 minutes screaming profanities at a bunch of kids.

For the record I hold no ill will towards anyone. And my feelings can handle quite a bit. It's just not a whole lot of fun to read this type of stuff. So I am off to Cary NC to watch the D2 CWS and see if Lander can beat Chico State.

Jesus. Read who I was directing it to. There was no flame. I understand there will be confusion; I conflated the two posts because of this user interface, but what I said and who I quoted should have at least let on that it wasn't an issue with you. I have an issue with the initial false appeal to authority that jp24 was using.

I'm the only one that mentioned a grandfather in this thread, and you used that specific word in your reply, so I think the confusion is pretty understandable. Sorry for the misunderstanding, and I agree that the quoting function here is obnoxious when trying to keep things straight.

I agree about the quote interface, it is very confusing.  You have to be careful when you are using the quote make sure that you include who it is coming from. I have messed up on this myself and had to go back and start all over!

One of the reasons I miss the old site!

I love the subject of "This generation is ruining everything. They are "fill in the blank"." This has been said by every generation since we have been humans. If you care to take the time, you can find that exact quote from ancient Greek philosophers about their next generation.

I always thought that the parents that were the most disgusted with their kids had to be the generation that gave rise to our founding fathers. Can you imagine the conversations?

 

That George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and John Adams. How spoiled and entitled they are. Being good English citizens isn't good enough for them? They actually want to have a say in government? They want to vote for our leaders and representatives? They want to carry arms and not give their homes for soldiers to use? They want trial by their peers? Oh they are so entitled and spoiled. It will ruin this colony.

ruining everything is rather strong but you have to approach things a lot different when teaching or coaching them. Retired from teaching for 40 years and coaching for 30 let me talk about the last 10 years as opposed to the first 10. A student  gets a bad grade it is the something the teacher did. A player is not playing call the coach or athletic director. It could not be that he is not doing well. Get on a kids case it has nothing to do with his poor play it is because the coach does not like him. Just something from experience.

I believe my generation is the problem. They're ruining the country and making the kids soft.