PLAYER APPEARANCE = MEXICAN STANDOFF

me thinkum sound strange bad medicine

The coach is the boss.

It's a good opportunity to teach junior about picking his battles and things that are truly important in life.

5 years from now he'll have a different haircut that doesn't matter anymore and for the rest of his life have missed playing HS baseball.

He can be right or he can be happy, pick one.

quote:

He says he will get an academic scholarship any way so he won't cave.

He may find it is harder to play summer ball if he goes all spring without playing when his summer teammates are getting reps in. If he's thinking he'll play college ball, what will his answer be to "why didn't you play HS ball"? I bet no college coach will touch him if the answer is because I didn't want to get a haircut. I agree with CPLZ...time for the "pick your battles, you won't be the one dictating answers for the rest of your life" talk

Well seeing that you asked for opinions... Here's what I think.

What if the college coach tells him to get a hair cut. What if the Yankees draft him and tell him they want him to get a hair cut?

I'm not saying he should cut his hair, but there are coaches who don't want their players to have long hair or wear jewelry. (I was one of those coaches) Whether that is right or not would be another discussion all together.

In this case, it looks like he is going to have to give up something. If it were me it would be the long hair, but that is not anyone's decision to make except yours/his, unless you want to take it to court. If that happens, usually everyone ends up losing something. (except for the lawyers)

If the hair is more important than playing high school baseball, some will not understand that.

My son's college team will not let him grow facial hair. You know what he does? He shaves. It's time to grow up.

And what in the world does a junior high record have to do with anything? Our best pitcher in junior high was a stud his freshman year, was moved to varsity his sophomore year. Got rocked his junior year and did not play baseball his senior year because he never had to work at his game before and it wasn't worth the effort to him. Sounds like you are enabling him to be a prima donna far before his time.

quote:

Originally posted by Tx-Husker:

quote:

He says he will get an academic scholarship any way so he won't cave.

He may find it is harder to play summer ball if he goes all spring without playing when his summer teammates are getting reps in. If he's thinking he'll play college ball, what will his answer be to "why didn't you play HS ball"? I bet no college coach will touch him if the answer is because I didn't want to get a haircut. I agree with CPLZ...time for the "pick your battles, you won't be the one dictating answers for the rest of your life" talk

Pretty much what I said but I can't get him to cave.
He has been approached by another HS coach who say come here and play I don't care what you look like but would require moving 50 miles.
Wants to go to college to be a doctor says he would rather try to walk on than give in. he is playing
about 40 travel games plus practice 3 times a week.

Or he could just try out for the softball team and fit right in. Of course, all the softball girls I have seen put their hair up or wear it in pigtail thingies.

1. He's not Lincecum
2. Agree with Tx-Husker about not playing - what will college coaches think.
3. Johnny Damon, Johnny Damon.....
4. What if coach knows this and its his way of not having to deal with an attitude?? Not saying it is but you asked for opinions.....

Good point about the Yankees. They are the most successful franchise in the sport and they will not put up with it. Johnny Damon had no problem complying:


Perhaps you can get an electronic picture of him and photoshop it to show him how nice his hair cut will look. There might be some hair design studios who could do that for him so he might be more amenable to it. I have a hunch gotwood4sale will have some suggestions for you

As long as my son lives in my house, he lives by my rules.

When he plays for his HS team he lives by the HS coaches rules.

When he is in class he lives by his teacher's rules.

When I go to work I live by my bosses rules.

Life is not that complex.

If he thinks that having long hair is more important than baseball, so be it. It's his decision let him live with it.

quote:

Opinions?

Our guys can't wear their hats backwards, have to tuck in their shirt, wear ties on game days....they don't all like it but they do it...because they coach tells them to and they want to play...

I agree. Pick your battles. This isn't a good one. A 'mexican standoff' is when there cannot be a clear winner. This isn't a mexican standoff...the player is the only one that will lose....the team goes on and the coach has either imposed his will or gotten rid of a 'disruptive' influence....

And, IMO, Lincecum's hair looks stupid anyway...

quote:

Wants to go to college to be a doctor says he would rather try to walk on than give in.

while i don't agree with your son not cutting his hair. as long as he can live with his decision...

if you don't stand for something........you'll fall for anything.

Wrong battle, just cut it

Totally agree with BOF.
4.0 gpa is great, hope it stays that way through the next 2 1/2 years of H.S.
I've had my share of surgeries and if the doctor that was working on me refused to cut his hair, I'd have major second thoughts.
I've been a Giants fan since 1958 and love to watch Lincecum him pitch. DO NOT like his hair nor did I like Damon's caveman look. No respect for the game.
My answer to my son if he wanted to wear his hair like Tim's, when you get 2 Cy Young's and are sitting on a minimum 8 million dollar contract ( most likely will be 13m), then and only then I might give in.

quote:

Originally posted by 00'sDAD:
Pretty much what I said but I can't get him to cave.
... he is playing
about 40 travel games plus practice 3 times a week.

You can get him to cave. Tell him that if he doesn't play HS ball, there's no travel ball.

Who's driving the car here?

He's 16 got his own car and licenses.
Saved $8,000.00 bucks for the down payment.
Been doing odd jobs and working since was 11.

.

"I have a hunch gotwood4sale will have some suggestions for you."

You hunched right CD!

There's no topping the pic that threeboysdad posted. That leaves me with this speculation...

Split ends? Maybe that's why the coach is so unrelenting...he just hates them! Maybe?

.

quote:

Originally posted by 00'sDAD:
He's 16 got his own car and licenses.
Saved $8,000.00 bucks for the down payment.
Been doing odd jobs and working since was 11.

I didn't mean it literally,it was a metaphor.

I meant, who makes the rules in your house, him or you? You say you can't get him to cave, but that's not really true. You mean that you can't "talk" him out of it...

Actions speak louder than words. Tell him no HS means no travel, no travel means no baseball.

Knowing what to do is usually easy.

It's not the hair that matters to the coach. As the parent, you need to make sure he understands the real issue. Refusing to cut his hair is sending a message to the coach. Hair is easy, what will he do when the coach commands him to hit the cutoff and he wants to throw home instead? Like it or not, baseball is one of those sports in which the coach rules. And thank goodness for that!

The question is, why is your son so determined to defy the coach on something so trivial?

You can be a great ball player and a great student and still be an attitude problem for the team. Haircut rules like this one are not common but also not unheard of. It's a discipline/team unity thing. It is clearly within the domain of the head coach. And if the coach has made his position clear, you should view it as his way of testing whether or not a given player is a team player, willing to make a (minor and temporary) personal sacrifice to fit the plan for the team unit.

Now it's son's turn to figure out if he's a team player, or not a member of the team at all.

Does he understand that the coach didn't just make up the rule just for him? By not cutting it, he is showing up the coach who enforced this rule on other teammates and players before him.

Plus, it will grow back in the off season.

I like a kid who's got principals and will lay it on the line and will stand up for what he believes.

Signed

The kid on the bubble

So you think I should tell him that your opinion means nothing. That I feel it's best for you to cave
and play ball for this guy. That's how I feel but I also have respect for the boys opinion.
He told me he would go to college and be a doctor at age 6 and I told him med school was very expensive that he would have to get good grades in school so he could get scholarships to help.
He promised he would never get a bad grade and has never had less than an A since he started getting report cards. I am very disappointed that he may loose out on ball YET at the same time feel that its more his decision than mine at 16 he's closer to a man than a boy. I will show him this message board when he comes home from school and see what he says.

OO'sDAD, I think your hunch about not drawing a line in the sand and forcing him to do it is the right direction. He has to want to do it. And, he has to understand that he's a big boy and has to live with the consequences of his decisions. Some things are really hard...like a kid with a bum arm knowing his next throw may be his last. Or the kid with brittle bones because he's recovering from cancer. Hair length doesn't seem to fit into that category and it's a shame for him to make his life harder than it needs to be because of something like that. But, he has to live with it.........

Life (and success) is about compromises and saving "face". Suggest he gets a good trim, more than he wants and less than the coach wants.

He offered this coach says all or nothing.

In that case I recommend nothing - shave it all off. That'll give him a way to show a bit of spunk while going with the letter of the law.

00DAD,
If he wants to play, he has to follow the coach's rules, if he doesn't then he won't play.
Other then what you have posted, I, we don't know you, but if this is his attitude, how is he going to be when he goes to school to be a physician? They are always be told what to do and how to do it. They are put through he ll from day one.

Size wise at 16 they look like adults, but, mentally they are like 2 or 3 year old they think know everything.

Old saying "when I was 16, my father was dumb, now that I'm 35 I see how much smarter he got and now he's the smartest man in the world"

He's 16 and just beginning to stretch his wings and see how far he can get. Looks like you giving him a little too much room!

Maybe it's a good opportunity to learn that choices very often have consequences. Not being a team player is never going to get your far in this game.

I've raised four and if you want to let him stand by his convictions on this, then let him deal with the outcome. Moving .... are you kidding? Looks like the "Cart is leading the horse" on this trip.

I wish I had a kid who wanted to be a doctor.

quote:

Originally posted by 00'sDAD:
...but I also have respect for the boys opinion....at the same time feel that its more his decision than mine at 16 he's closer to a man than a boy.

You sound like a pretty cool dad.

quote:

Originally posted by 00'sDAD:
I will show him this message board when he comes home from school and see what he says.

If you were my dad, I would wash your car every Saturday morning.

His dad should tell him to get a haircut.

Sounds like he needs to learn some respect for authority. What's he going to do when his boss tells him to wear a coat and tie to work? Or when the government tells him to pay his taxes?

CPLZ has a great recommendation: no high school ball, no travel ball.

Does he truly love the game enough to play? I've seen many kids use a coach's rules as a means to quit playing because they didn't want to be a quitter. I say pose this to him - ask him what he would do if you told him no HS ball then no travel ball. If he says no big deal and he won't play then I think the writing is on the wall - he doesn't love the game enough to continue. It would then be in his best interests to remove himself from the team. Make sure to phrase it as a what if because you don't want to paint yourself into a corner and be forced to do something you don't want to do.

It's nice to sit here and talk about respecting your son's opinion and how he's went out and earned his own car but it pails in comparison to learning which battles to fight. As a parent you need to let your kids make their own decisions and figure things out on their own but you are the ultimate trump card. What you say goes and if he doesn't like it then that just tough.

Let me give you some final advice - stay away from the coach who is 50 miles away and is recruiting your son. I'm willing to bet that recruiting is illegal in your state based on state rules. If you got a coach willing to break this kind of rule what other rules will he break? Will he really even care about the health and welfare of your son? This guy is bad news and if you get near him you will probably get burned.

Tell your son to cut his hair and gain some perspective as to what's really important in life. I know if I had a kid who's going to fight me on something like this then he will fight me on other things. I would proably be glad he didn't cut his hair so he would eliminate himself.

Sounds like he's made his decision that college ball (and the possibility of losing a chance at it) is not as important to him as his individuality. Nothing wrong with that. Some kids don't want college ball as much as they want other things in their lives. Why can't he have both? Because baseball is a sport in which a direct line of command is necessary. No haircut, no line of command.

One thing you have to wonder about is how he's going to handle being a resident if he puts his individuality above the Chief's edicts.

I smell a life lesson.

OODad,

Hair grows back.

I am 53 and graduated from HS in 1975. I played baseball and had very long hair in 1972. Coach said, 'Unless you cut your hair you will not play on my team.' Thinking how proud I was to stand up against the establishment by growing my hair long I told him I would not get it cut. He summarily cut me...

Boy, did I show him...

Now, all these years later I have many regrets in my life and you know what the biggest regret was? Yup, not getting a **** haircut! By far the dumbest thing I ever did...

Boy, did I show him...by not playing on his team...boy, did I show him...

Hair grows back...

If I said get an haircut or else he would.
However would that increase his talent or just give him an animosity toward his coach that would become
an unresolvable issue. Would the coach really treat him fairly at this point? He still has his Jr and Sr
year ma bey he will change his mind.

Sorry, I first thought this was about the travel coach. I don't think a high school coach has the authority to tell a kid how long his hair can be. The NFHS can tell him how he has to wear it, but nobody, except his parents, can tell him how he has to cut it.

What if the coach says he wants all players to have mohicans, or their hair dyed black? Would everyone (parents) go along with that, too?

quote:

Originally posted by Vicarious Dad:

What if the coach says he wants all players to have mohicans, or their hair dyed black? Would everyone (parents) go along with that, too?

V-dad,

Yes, then I would get a mohawk...

He doesnt need to get a hair cut. He doesnt need to play hs baseball. He needs to stand by his convictions and keep his hair if that is what is important to him. And then he needs to understand he is the one that will have to live with the decision that he has made.

When he cares enough about something to sacrifice in order to do it he will. Baseball is not important enough for a hair cut. Its that simple. With that attitude dont look for him to play past hs. I surely wouldnt waste my money on travel baseball in the summer on a kid who wouldnt get a hair cut to play hs baseball. Just play local rec league save your money for college tuition.