PLAYER APPEARANCE = MEXICAN STANDOFF

quote:

Originally posted by leftyshortstop:
CD - I think the dad wants us to do what he's afraid to do; tell the kid to get a haircut and make his family proud.

He can't order his 16 year old around. The kid gets good grades and bought his own car........

I wouldn't shave or cut my hair for the hs baseball coach. I wasn't going to be told what to do. So I didn't play. My Junior year I shaved my head and so did the defensive line on the football team. 20 something years later, wish I would have got a haircut and played baseball.

quote:

Originally posted by socaldad:
I wouldn't shave or cut my hair for the hs baseball coach. I wasn't going to be told what to do. So I didn't play. My Junior year I shaved my head and so did the defensive line on the football team. 20 something years later, wish I would have got a haircut and played baseball.

Hair is temporary. Cool Breeze here has 2.5 strikes.

Ok if he takes that round thing out of his ear would the lobe eventually end up back normal or is he going to look stupid the rest of his life?

I really have no idea.

Coach

The hole closes up in a short period of time,

Earings do not bother me because the kids don't wear them during the games anyway--it is not only against the rules in most places but it is dangerous

quote:

Originally posted by fillsfan:

What I'm having a hard time with in this thread is that everyone seems to think this kid did something wrong. I don't think he did.

Not everyone thinks the kid did something wrong. The Dad was asking for advice on what to do. Many of us have told him to let his son do as he wished, just warn him of the consequences of each choice. We've repeatedly said there is nothing wrong with making a choice that does not include being on a team. In fact, a few of us even think it would be the best scenario for the team if he were to keep the long hair and move on from baseball.

I've looked at much of this thread as helping the Dad come to terms with his son no longer wanting to be a part of a team sport.

quote:

Originally posted by coach2709:
Ok if he takes that round thing out of his ear would the lobe eventually end up back normal or is he going to look stupid the rest of his life?

I really have no idea.

Regular sized piercings will close over a short period of time. However, the holes made by "gauges" as in the photo, depending on the gauge and the individual, take a much longer time to "heal."

Some people, my nephew included, never commpletely heal. At least that is what he is beginning to believe after waiting two years. And, yes, he still looks stupid.

My son had "normal" piercings and took them out six months prior to going to umpire school. They healed in about three months, but he still has a noticeable scar on each ear lobe.

quote:

Originally posted by sandlotmom:

Not everyone thinks the kid did something wrong. The Dad was asking for advice on what to do. Many of us have told him to let his son do as he wished, just warn him of the consequences of each choice. We've repeatedly said there is nothing wrong with making a choice that does not include being on a team. In fact, a few of us even think it would be the best scenario for the team if he were to keep the long hair and move on from baseball.

I've looked at much of this thread as helping the Dad come to terms with his son no longer wanting to be a part of a team sport.

The kid was wrong if he allowed his immaturity to overrule his brain and lost out on something he loved.

If, however, he was looking for a way to leave baseball, he still could have been more honest about it instead of turning it into an alleged deprivation of his personal rights.

If you play chicken with a coach, you'll get scrambled.

Any way the hair hit the floor on this issue the I in team not there, but when the hair stays where it is the I comes out.

Old winning coaches know this...easy cut, pun intended.

My son's coach is just opposite, he doesn't want him to cut his hair, coach says with his size he looks very intimidating on the mound. Likes the look. His hair is long down on his shoulders, and goes crazy when he starts sweating.

I hate to keep this stupid thread going, but the best thing 00's dad could do is let him read through this thread to see what an idiot everyone thinks he is.

I don't think he is doing anything wrong, he seems to know what he wants to do, it's dad whose having a problem with his son's decision, so much so he has already checked out if it's a legal rule or not with his board friend.

It's very difficult raising all types of kids, even ones that seem to do everything they should yet are so determined to prove a point they may not realize they may be hurting themselves in doing so. It's our job, IMO, to try to make them understand and reason (within reason) the consequences we choose as young adults could affect their future. It's also our responsibilty to make them aware that there are rules we may not like, but they exist.

Some say it's ok to be different, but I don't beleive that, it's not normal for teens to want to be different than their peers or not be part of a group. Kids will do anything to be accepted and be a part of something, that's why many play sports.

All kidding aside, perhaps there's more to it than we are aware.

JMO.

Personally I have no problem with a young man/woman wanting to be different.

In fact I have been different my entire life--paid the price a number of times but it has been a fun ride to date

TR - thanks for the info on the earlobe. I think I'll stick with the natural look and not the big gaping donut hole for my own look.

This is really all semantics but I don't have a problem with a kid being themselves but I have a problem with them being different. To me being yourself is what it is. You have your own personality, likes, desires, wants and needs. You do the things you want to do without the desire to bring attention to yourself.

Being different means you want people to look at you because you have this need to be the center of attention. You dress funny, have funny hairstyle and / or say stupid things. Might be some narcissim involved as well.

As for this player who won't cut his hair he could fall into either category and we really don't know because we don't know him. I hope he falls into the first category and I hope he's not cutting his hair because he wants out of baseball but doesn't have the courage to tell his dad. Which brings me to my next hope - he learns to overcome that and be his own man. This attitude can serve him well later in life in whatever he chooses to do.

If he's doing it because he wants to be different then I feel sorry for him because he's in for a long hard life. People won't want to deal with him or help him out because they really won't like him. He'll be a jerk and pull chains because he feels like he can. He might be successful professionally but probably not as successful as he could be.

I went to college with a guy who was a character. He had a mullett, wore gym shorts everywhere at anytime (even winter) and basically made an ugly guy even uglier. He was who he was and he made no issue about him being different. He was that one guy everybody knew and everybody loved him. He was himself (which was eccentric) and he was the man. He became a lawyer and last I heard he had cut his hair, started wearing suit and tie. This is an example of being yourself - he wasn't trying to be different just for different sake. That is who he is / was.

Hopefully this boy turns out like my buddy did.

Coach

That is the way I was--being myself---if that was different in peoples eyes so be it--so I respect the different aspect--I can also respect and understand this young mans stand based on what we have been told

Coach2709,
You bring up some good points. There is a difference, IMO.

Anyone know of what happened to Khalil Greene? He was VERY different from his teammates, and very different than most people. They just said he was doing his own thing, in the meantime, he has very deep rooted issues.

Whatever, I can't beleive we are still talking about this, dad most likely will never come back and we will never know what transpired.

Don't worry folks, baseball is just around the corner.

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
Coach

That is the way I was--being myself---if that was different in peoples eyes so be it--so I respect the different aspect--I can also respect and understand this young mans stand based on what we have been told

Are you advising the young man to go against his coach's requirements? Please be careful. His father seems to be looking for someone to endorse this direction. Don't take lightly what ramifications this may cause a 16 year old player. What might have made sense when you were young, may not apply in this situation.

quote:

Any way the hair hit the floor on this issue the I in team not there, but when the hair stays where it is the I comes out.

Old winning coaches know this...easy cut, pun intended.

Best response I've seen.

Is This 00's Son?

Is he doing something wrong? Is he learning to take a stand for his beliefs?

Athletics. Sports. Baseball.

What do I hope my kids learn from their experiences.

Team work. Sacrifice. The harder you work the more you invest the harder it is to accept defeat. And the less likely you will have to. Work ethic. There is just something very satisfying about knowing you do the very best you could at something. There is nothing you will ever do by yourself or for yourself that will ever come close to how doing something with a team and part of a team will make you feel.

When you go fishing all by yourself and you finally hang that 10lb bass. What is the first thing you want to do? Share it with someone that you know. When you go fishing with your buddy and you hang that 10lb bass its a life long memory that you can always share with your buddy.

Sacrifice. Nothing great that you will accomplish in life will be accomplished without some sort of sacrifice. Sometimes we have to give up one thing or many things to get that one thing we really want. If we are not willing to give up something to get something else we simply did not want it badly enough or were not willing to do what it takes to get it.

I think he is doing something wrong. He is learning how to use excuses in order to quit. If he simply does not want to play then say so. If his hair is more important than being a part of a team then simply say so. And I believe that is exactly what he is saying. Its a cop out to say that a 16 year old is taking a stand for what he believes in. He is learning to stand up for himself. No he is learning how to make excuses. He is learning how to cop out.

Now what happens when he is a father and his son stands up and says "I dont believe I should have to say yes sir , or no sir. I dont believe I should have to groom myself to the your standards. I dont believe I should have to do homework its my free time. I dont believe I should have to do .............. or ............... Is he standing up for himself? Is he learning to be a man?

The problem here is this is a 16 year old boy. Trying to use excuses to explain why he really doesnt want to play. The hair is just an excuse. So if he is really a 16 year old mature young man just say it "I dont want to play because my hair is more important to me than being a part of this team." And then understand that you will have to live with that decision. Instead its the coaches fault for having rules. Its the coaches fault for having a stupid rule that you dont believe you should have to follow.

There are many things in life that people have to do they dont believe they should have to do. Many times at work. Many times in just day to day life. My kids didnt like the fact that Saturday mornings were work days around our house. Yard work , helping mom clean the house. Helping grand ma with yard work. But they didnt have a choice in the matter.

I dont believe you just let your kids do what they want to do. I believe you set standards and rules and expectations for them. When they reach the age when they can make those decisions they can start making those decisions. And thats about the time its time for them to be out on their own.

So since this is baseball and the kid is 16 "Ok son its your decision to make. I am not going to force you to play a sport. If you are not willing to do what the coach requires you to do to be a part of the team then you dont need to play. But dont use that weak excuse to me about your hair. Because if you really wanted to play you would do whatever it took to be a part of the team."

brickhousre

I am not advising anything--all I am saying is that the young man is taking a stand for what we assume hhe stands for based on what his father has posted==--it is the young mans right to do so

I have requirements on our team--if a kid doesn't like them then he needs not pplay for us--case closed

quote:

Originally posted by biggerpapi:
Is This 00's Son?

How appropriate!!! That's very good and right on. He was "true to himself" and nothing wrong with personal convictions! How far are you willing, as responsible Parents or perhaps the INTERNATION OLYMPIC COMMITTEE, to let individual WANTS conflict with those of family or TEAM leadership.

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
brickhousre

I am not advising anything--all I am saying is that the young man is taking a stand for what we assume hhe stands for based on what his father has posted==--it is the young mans right to do so

I have requirements on our team--if a kid doesn't like them then he needs not pplay for us--case closed

Do you really believe that this 16 year old, apparently talented, baseball player truly understands the consequences of his stance? I know that you have seen dozens of kids in your lifetime take a stance with a coach. How did that work out for them? As a senior member, I would hope that you would advise him accordingly before his potential is derailed far before it's time, especially over something so trivial.

quote:

Originally posted by TPM:
Coach2709,
You bring up some good points. There is a difference, IMO.

Anyone know of what happened to Khalil Greene? He was VERY different from his teammates, and very different than most people. They just said he was doing his own thing, in the meantime, he has very deep rooted issues.

Whatever, I can't beleive we are still talking about this, dad most likely will never come back and we will never know what transpired.

Don't worry folks, baseball is just around the corner.

Greene has bounced around a lot for a near all star quality MIF. He has a self-described social anxiety disorder. It might be similar to what Zach Grienke has. One of Grienke's teammates walked up to him to meet him and shake his hand. He said Grienke shook his hand, never said a word and stared right through him.

brickhouse

I firmly believe a young man needs to learn from his mistakes--it makes them a better person--God knows if his Dad has a problem convincing the boy he sure isn't going to listen to me anyway-- I also think there is more here than we are being made aware of--like the boy has been pushed so the point where he has no desire for baseball anymore--I saw it with my last son--he saw his brother go thru the recruiting process and he simply said he didn't want it--he stopped playing baseball at 16--he is now a grade school teacher in Florida--has a boast and loves his deep fishinmg weekends with his buddies--God Bless Him--unlike we want to think baseball is not everything for everyone

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
brickhouse

I firmly a young man needs to learn from his mistakes--it makes them a better person--God knows if his Dad has a problem convincing the boy he sure isn't going to listen to me anyway-- I also think there is more here than we are being made aware of--like the boy has been pushed so the point where he has no desire for baseball anymore--I saw it with my last son--he saw his brother go thru the recruiting process and he simply said he didn't want it--he stopped playing baseball at 16--he is now a grade school teacher in Florida--has a boast and loves his deep fishinmg weekends with his buddies--God Bless Him--unlike we want to think baseball is not everything for everyone

I think smart folk find it much easier and more productive learning from the mistakes of others. Fire is hot. Water is wet. Money ain't everything till it's gone. Class dismissed.

Dad04

Are you the teacher ????

By using Greene I was trying to point out that being different isn't always a good thing.

I agree, most 16 year olds, even mature ones don't always realize their decisions can come back to bite later on.

It's good to learn from others mistakes before you make your own.

As I stated in an earlier post, I agree this has more to do with dad than going against the coach's rules.

I guess that I am looking at this situation in a different way. I think that the kid still loves baseball, but after a successful junior high experience, his ego is getting the best of him. He thinks that the rules do not apply to him as he is, currently, one of the better players.

Everyone on this forum has seen junior high phenoms fade into the sunset as they get older because they thought they were all that. They did not develop the work ethic, or follow the rules, or put the team first so the coach moved on to others that did.

Finding out based on learning the hard way is certainly effective but it may be too late to recover. I am positive that this kid must be the oldest in the family in sports or his dad would have plenty of fallen 13 year old superstars to point out as examples. I think this kid needs the benefit of our experience and understand that he is not indispensable.

I remember a guy in physics class who was as "different" as a person could be. He definitely had his own drummer, in his own world. He always said he was going to be a famous fashion designer. Well, he's not, but he is up for an Oscar as Best Director.

Maybe, there's no place on a baseball team for individuals, but there's definitely a place for them somewhere in the world.

quote:

Originally posted by AntzDad:
I remember a guy in physics class who was as "different" as a person could be. He definitely had his own drummer, in his own world. He always said he was going to be a famous fashion designer. Well, he's not, but he is up for an Oscar as Best Director.

Maybe, there's no place on a baseball team for individuals, but there's definitely a place for them somewhere in the world.

Absolutely. The kid didn't do anything wrong. Neither did his coach. Pop is just trying to process it and it stings. I really hope Pop just lets it go.

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
Dad04

Are you the teacher ????

just a grasshopper....

00'sDAD,

Based on what you've told us, I think you're handling the situation just fine. The boy has taken a decision, you've tried to talk him out of it, and he is sticking to his guns.

I think you're quite right to regard this as his decision. Really, it is no different than a decsion to not play football, or lacrosse, or play in the band, or go to the Junior Prom. Choosing to not do any of these activities means he will not have those particular experiences. And missing those experiences won't jeopardize his health, safety or pretty much anything important in life. I say if he wants to play multiple high school sports, let him. If he chooses not to play any, let him.

Contrary to some posters' opinions, I see no reason that he needs to explain his decison in objective terms, or confess the "real reason". Speaking generally, neither adults nor teenagers have a good understanding of the genuine reasons behind decisions.

So we're discussing a boy who has very good grades, works and derives benefit from that, and has a stated purpose in life. Sounds like a very good foundation to me!

nice post 3


Did any of you go through the 60'S??? Cause it sure feeling like the 50's

quote:

I'm guessing the Yankees rule on hair length wasn't there at some point in the 70s or early 80s.

Oscar Gamble had to get a haircut when the Yankees signed him.

quote:

I'm guessing the Yankees rule on hair length wasn't there at some point in the 70s or early 80s.

The Yankees have a strict grooming and dress code. As a player you do not go to a Yankee facility without a clean shave, polo, shoes and socks, and to make sure you have no excuses they provide Adias sportswear to all players throughout the organization. The mindset is you represent the Yankee organization. IMO, that same mindset can be carried over to any team/organization as long as it is "reasonable". Hair is reasonable, and not to abide by a simple rule is not only showing disrespect toward authority but also subliminal message to the team that you have separated from them. IMHO, this is not a hair problem, but an indicator of things to come. If Jr does not get his way here he will he will throw a roadblock up somewhere else and alienate another group. Before you know it, there is NO ONE else.

True success in life is about rules, compromise, and the ability to swallow your pride at the right time. There is a "time-n-place" to "stand-up" but those situations need to be picked with careful thought and foresight.

"That sounds cool. Are they hiring?"

Good post rz.

Hey I was wondering, do you think that's why Manny didn't go to NY, he'd have to play without dreds?

If he's willing to quit the game over a haircut, he probably doesn't care that much for the game in the first place...I'd save my money on summer ball and send him to science camp.

70's Yankees

It is kind of sad seeing some amateur psychologists pontificating about what a kid really wants or doesn't want based on a few lines of text not even written by the kid. The term self-righteous comes to mind.