This is a subject that is a real issue for me.
Do I think that the coach was wrong in using the N-word even though he was paying a compliment to his Black player?
Yes! He was dead wrong. For a man of his
stature and in his position, he should have known better than to speak such a word in public even if he thought he was speaking "off the record", especially since he really did not know the reporter. (One would hope that he would never use the word even in private, but that is beyond anybody's control.)
Do I think he should be fired?
That's a tough one. I'm torn because he was attempting to give the kid a compliment. Had he been vicious, malicious and vindictive in his use of the word, I would not hesitate to say that he should have been fired. I cannot emphasize enough that he should have known better BUT, in his own way, he was trying to say something good about the kid.
If I were his boss, I would have asked this question, "From all that I know about this man, have his actions up to this point been such that I know he made a mistake and is truly sorry for what he said and is willing to give some thought into how hurtful that word can be for many Black Americans? If the answer is yes, then I would have lobbied for him to keep his job, have him make a public apology and place him in an environment where someone could sit down with him and discuss ways in which you can compliment a black kid without offending half of America. If the answer to my question is, no, and because of his past actions I know that this is a reflection of who he truly is and that's the way he thinks, then I would have fired him.
Many of you might wonder why any Black American would NOT want the Coach to be fired in this particular case. I read that even the kid's father did not want to see him fired, although he was "upset" with the coach. I can only speak for myself. If this coach is older than 55, he lived during an era when the N-word was used out in the open for Black people, on the radio, on television, everywhere! I can't tell you how many times I've been called that word to my face by White people and had to take it. I was raised during the late 40's and 50's in Mississippi. So I understand that if he hasn't done the necessary work to change his filtering system and realize that he is living in a time when that word and that kind of thinking is no longer acceptable in public and that he now lives and works in an environment that is diverse, then he is going to continue to "slip up".
For people of my generation, the N-word is a word that has no place in our society today. Yet, I struggle day in and day out with our young Black men, trying to get them to stop using the word themselves. It sends a mixed message. During a class at our Boys Club, I asked a group of Black youths why they use the N-word when talking to each other. The answer they gave me was a surprise. They said, "If we use the word ourselves, then that takes the sting out of it. And, we're not really saying the N-word, we're saying a different word." In other words, they were trying to say that they have chosen to neutralize the word so to speak. In a twisted kind of way they've almost suceeded in doing this because today the words, "My N---a" is a term of endearment among friends, even White friends. Notice that they have changed the word. For them ,it no longer ends in "er" it ends with an "a", which is actually a new word. In their misguided efforts, they feel that, "If we call ourselves the N-word, then Whites can't hurt us with it any longer." The incident with this Coach is proof that their logic is not working and I will use this as an example when I speak to this group again. My kids know that in our home, that word spelled and used any kind of way, is not acceptable.
I know it is probably a moot point now. But if the guy didn't have a track record of being disciminatory or racist, I think I would have voted for him to keep his job with stipulations.
On a lighter note: I have found that some Whites really do have a problem complimenting Blacks without bringing race into it. The issue with the coach was not an isolated incident. My wife was making a presentation about 4 years ago to a predominantly White group and her presentation went really well. At the end of the meeting while she was gathering her materials to leave, an older White lady came up to her and said, "Your presentation was excellent and you speak so well. You are certainly a CREDIT to your RACE." Now, my wife could have taken this in one of two ways. She could have taken it as a slam against the rest of her race and been offended OR she could have taken it for what it was...simply a compliment (at least in the lady's mind) for a job well done.
When my wife was telling me about it later, she said that she could have pulled the lady aside and told her that to any other Black person her compliment might have been offensive. But my wife didn't do that. For all she knew this could have been one of the few times this lady had garnered enough nerves to say anything to a Black person. Instead, she looked at her, and in the kindest manner said, "Thank you, Miss, for the compliment. I'm glad you enjoyed the presentation." End of story. My wife, who once was a teacher, said that was not the time to try to teach a lesson.
Good discussion, Guys. Keep it going. Believe it or not, learning is taking place for all of us.
