@RJM it's not about winning vs. losing; giving up vs. fighting. I'm going to get very personal to respond. PTWooddaughter2 could have could have gone to schools where she would have had a real chance to end her career as one of the college's best of all time (good mid-majors). She also could have gone somewhere where there was a chance to compete for a national championship every year but where her chances to play were slim (a perennial Top 10 program). She wanted to play against the highest level possible where she felt like she had a reasonable opportunity (not a guarantee) to fight for a position. She also wanted to get a stellar education. She's at Northwestern (bonus, she believed in what the coaches were building). She busted her a#$ and as a freshman ended up the season first off the bench. It didn't start that way and there were frustrating times that she powered through. Sophomore year, the starter in front of her had nagging injuries and PTWd2 earned the starting spot and never gave it up. She finished the year All Big 10 Honorable Mention, All Big 10 Academic, a Distinguished scholar and #3 in the Big10 for assist-turnover ratio. NU had a dream season finishing: a) Big10 regular season Co-Champs, b) ranked #11 in the country; and c). projected as 2 or 3 seed in the NCAA tourney before it got cancelled. Her not going to some other schools was not giving up at all. She weighed all her options and made the best decision for her.
PTWooddaughter1 could have played D3 basketball. A torn ACL her junior year made her rethink everything. She came back to play and captain her HS team her sr. year but she determined she didn't want basketball to dictate the size and type of school she would go to. She ended up on academic scholarship at Notre Dame. Her sophomore year she decided to scratch the basketball itch by managing. Giving up? Or being mature and realistic about basketball's ability to OPEN or CLOSE doors in college for her?
Unlike the girls, education was not PTWoodson's top priority (it mattered more to us parents but ultimately he's the one going to college). He wanted to play at the highest level possible, where the coaches had an offensive philosophy similar to his, where the fans love baseball and where he would be best prepared to possibly enter the draft after his junior year. And yes, facilities mattered to him. That didn't mean that one of the first things he did when looking at a school or being recruited by a school was research the depth chart at his position (existing players and committed players). Not because he was giving up but because, all things equal, he wasn't going to go somewhere where he had to plow through 6 upperclassmen and 6 sophomores to get an inning. Then COVID happened (best laid plans of mice and men). His school currently has 49 kids on their roster. He still believes in his decision. Loves his coaches and the school. But he knows what he's up against. He hasn't take time off over Thanksgiving break. He's lifted every night and gone hitting every day.
Super long answer and sorry it's so detailed but I feel very strongly that the process is about really digging into what matters most to your child, doing your research, making a decision and owning it. Knowing that you may have to pivot because of circumstances beyond you control is a thing but not the main thing. Between my husband (mid-major who graduated top 10 rebounding and scoring) and my three kids, they run the gamut of student-athlete decisions. As a spectator for all of them, all of their decisions required a great deal of work and dedication. I don't know how things will turn out with PTWoodson but he is going in with eyes wide open about what it takes and what he's up against.
And... I officially need to get a life!!! LOL