quote:
And as for this comment:
"I get a kick out of parents who say their kids don't drink in college, perhaps it's just not something they tell you or you have seen. It's the same way for other illegal substances. Very available and these kids are away from home for the first time."
I find it demeaning to parents. If I say my son or daughter doesn't drink, they don't drink. Why make fun of parents who state this.
I believe there are plenty of naive parents who make the statement and are very wrong. This doesn't mean every parent. It's the parents who have created the environment to have open discussions with their kids who are more likely to know the truth, or close to the truth.
When my daughter was in high school she told me some of her friends were drinking and/or smoking pot. These were good kids. She said there were times she left to avoid possible trouble. In college she's told me she had fake ID's before turning twenty-one. Her freshman year she complained too much of the college social life is focused on alcohol. She said the ID's were so she could go to clubs and dance rather than hang out and drink. She would buy one drink and let it sit on the table so the waitress wouldn't bother her. Yes, she drank it. I told her if I had to bail her out of a legal situation she was going to pay for it.
My son, sixteen, told me he drinks one beer and holds on to the bottle all night to look like he's drinking. This is a kid who won't drink soda because it's bad for training, so I believe him. I told him the same thing, get in trouble for being there and you're paying for it.
Some of you may consider this permissive since my kids are breaking the law. I've told both if they see trouble remove themselves from the situation. I was a wild man by high school. So I see my kid's situation as under control. I know some very strict parents who think they're kids aren't doing anything. The kids are drunks and stoners.
There are two clear rules. 1) Never get in a car with anyone who's been drinking. And if you have the car, you're in deep **** if you've had one drop. 2) Your friends are not allowed to drink in our house.
Some of my daughter's friends found leftover liquor in our basement bar from a recent party. When I smelled liquor I lined them up, smelled their breaths, took car keys and called the parents of the quilty.
The kids hate it when you check on them downstairs. But you have to. We have kids at the house a lot. It's a way to control the drinking situation. The previous owner set up the basement like a nightclub. It looks more like a sports bar now. But it has a dance floor, flashing lights and speakers everywhere built into the wall and ceiling. The kids like being there.
My kids have never seen their parents drunk. You can't act one way and tell kids to act another way. It also had an impact on them to have an alcoholic grandfather die in a drunk driving accident.