I'm a 20 (5'11, 190 lbs.) year old unactive pitcher. I been playing since i was 9. Started as a catcher, then coaches turned me into a pitcher(I was always told that i have a good arm). I'm a late bloomer, and I've always had a little bit more than average bat. Becauase of my pitching developement, coaches started to lean more on my pitching side because of the essential need of pitchig.

I developed a strong desire and passion for the game. Sad to say that my dad has never been in my presence to support my ambition. I started to ride the subway(NYC)at age 9 because my mom couldn't take me to the ball park. My mom never got involded in my interest for the game, which really hearts alot now. Correct me if im wrong but, Parents being involded is essential. She probably never had the chance to support me but, she would never understand how important her presence is to me when i'm out there in the feild, working out, or working on mechanics.

Through high school I was a dominant confident pitcher. Everyone could see the spark in me. I went to a couple of showcases alone but my nervousness would never let me show people what i really had Summer Junior year I played for the best ball organization here in NYC (16-18 years) (Youthservice.org), and the director(head coach) has past scouting experience. He discovered Manny Ramirez,and others. During the try outs i was always nervous. On the first day of the try outs he saw me swinging a bat, came up to me and asked me my name, and i replyed. From then on for some reason i dont know why he kept me on the list of one of those players that you keep a close eye on. There were also a couple of guys whom stayed in his house that were also I would say trying out but, rather on the team. They would tell me from time to time that he would always acknowledge my progress during there conversations. Telling me "Mike he keeps on telling us that your going to make this team", And after every week of "cuts" he would come up to me and tell me "You have alot of potential, you need to show me more cofidendce". I never got over that stage, I was always nervous.

I never really had good expusure. That same summer i Tore one of the small ligaments in the back part of my throwing shoulder. I never showed up againg. I went throught some depression and i found my self lost. Then i decided to play senior year without offseason Strength & conditioning. I decided to playe because i realized that after a while that injury didn't effect my throwing but i was still scared. I attended college in the fall and the life in my arm was coming back, but been alone and no support was just too much for me to handle. I was doing work study, going to classes, working out, and playing fall ball. That task failed, and i came back home and decided to go to Audio and production school.

Now i'm here trying to find some type of inspiration to either make a transition into another feild, or go back to school and use baseball as a tool to get me a better education. What do parents in this furom suggest about my situation.... What can i do get my life back on track..... I'm really worried.... I appreciate your help