Well, here we are at the conclusion of the story. My son was cut today. He only cut two kids, my son, and a heavy set kid who can hit. He kept kids who are so bad, they will probably get hurt at some point in practice. It came down to politics, not ability. Yes perceived attitude from players and parents has a tremendous effect, as I believe with everything in my soul that he was not cut because of ability. He is a pitcher, and was never allowed to try out for pitching. It’s a terrible end to a grueling struggle. For the last three years, he has had to endure this coach, and his favorites. People can say what they want, but politics are very real. My son had to learn today at 15 a hard lesson that life is not fair, and that giving your all, and hard work is not always enough. He worked hard this offseason, added about 5mph to his fastball, and was hitting beebees. Every travel team he tried out for he made easily. Not saint he is better than everyone else, he has his flaws but wow. I am heartbroken for him. A lesson to you young parents: don’t say anything to your kids coach, it will bite your in the ass.
As my son enters his sophomore year, we are filled with uncertainty about the upcoming year. He I suppose is one of those marginal players- inconsistent, and very unsure of himself ...
This is part of your post from a while back. Your son wasn’t the victim of politics. He’s the victim of you, how you see his talent and your attitude. The coach probably had an objective view of how your son fit, or didn’t fit in the program. You had a biased view of your son’s talent and how he fit in the program.
Your rant has been made many times by parents of marginal players. I’ve heard it many times.
Now, you can’t finish off any desire he has to play the game. Or he can suck it up, find a summer team, get better and give it another shot next year. It starts with goi g to the coach and asking what he needs to improve so there isn’t any guessing.
Or, the reality may be this is as far as he’s going in baseball. It may be time to try something else or put additional offseason development into football.
KTCOTB posted:Well, here we are at the conclusion of the story. My son was cut today. He only cut two kids, my son, and a heavy set kid who can hit. He kept kids who are so bad, they will probably get hurt at some point in practice. It came down to politics, not ability. Yes perceived attitude from players and parents has a tremendous effect, as I believe with everything in my soul that he was not cut because of ability. He is a pitcher, and was never allowed to try out for pitching. It’s a terrible end to a grueling struggle. For the last three years, he has had to endure this coach, and his favorites. People can say what they want, but politics are very real. My son had to learn today at 15 a hard lesson that life is not fair, and that giving your all, and hard work is not always enough. He worked hard this offseason, added about 5mph to his fastball, and was hitting beebees. Every travel team he tried out for he made easily. Not saint he is better than everyone else, he has his flaws but wow. I am heartbroken for him. A lesson to you young parents: don’t say anything to your kids coach, it will bite your in the ass.
KTC, sorry to hear that happened. Hopefully, better things lie ahead with football.
That said, I feel compelled to point out as others have... LESS THAN A MONTH AGO, you were making some good honest assessments of your son's baseball shortcomings...
"He thinks that practicing a couple of times a week, and a couple of lessons a week are enough. I know it takes more, but he does not understand that…
Baseball- his training lagged a bit… Yes, the game may push him out as the rigors become more intensive. He struggles with consistency and confidence. We all know those two are key to being successful….
Some of his problem is perception, but mostly that he is not putting forth the effort that is required to get to the next level. I did it, and so I know what it is like, and what it takes. A lot of it is his attitude."
Now, you are saying....
"...but politics are very real. My son had to learn today at 15 a hard lesson that life is not fair, and that giving your all, and hard work is not always enough. He worked hard this offseason..."
Definitely doesn't add up. And it is still the wrong message to send to him even if partially true. You also said he doesn't work hard at football because it comes easy to him. If he wants to maximize his abilities on the football field and play at the next level, he will find himself in the same situation at some point in his path. Either he improves his consistency and work ethic or he will find himself "in bad politics" again. So, do you think he will benefit more now by hearing the REAL reasons why he didn't make the baseball team (all that you stated last month) or giving him the out that it was politics and life isn't fair?
Whatever, you are entitled to your opinion although you are being an ass. If you saw the kids he kept you would understand.
I wish you could see the kids the coach kept. You would understand. I am done with this forum. Good luck to you all.
KTCOTB posted:I wish you could see the kids the coach kept. You would understand. I am done with this forum. Good luck to you all.
KTC, when I first landed on this site ten or so years ago, I received some direct messages similar to what I tried to give to you. I didn't like it - got butt hurt, pretty sure I almost bailed on the place. Then, I realized the messages had enough truth in them for me to learn something and I hung around. It has been very beneficial to me, my kids and the many student athletes I have coached since. Hopefully, you can hang around and find some of the same.
So, even if a few of the kids were lesser players than your son, I encourage you to see the big picture.
KTCOTB posted:Whatever, you are entitled to your opinion although you are being an ass. If you saw the kids he kept you would understand.
The truth isn’t always pleasant. The coach may see potential in those kids he doesn’t see in yours. Denial is more than a river.
Sometimes the coach cuts the kid because he can't cut the dad. Not saying that's the case but you seem very "involved" in the relationship between player and coach.
I will say this as an almost universal truth, parents are lousy scouts.
This kind of post gives the "real daddy baller" sect/cult a bad name. J/K, i hope your son finds a way to stick to the game, if not....it's not the end of the world. Sounds like the Band Aid has been ripped off.
This is a time for you to step up as a FATHER. You need to accept that your kid didn't make it because something was lacking. From your posts in the past, there is evidence that it may be because of his lack of maturity and willingness to work for it. If you continue with the "politics" narrative, your son will not learn from this. When there is a disconnect in what your kid knows deep down inside to be the truth (he didn't put in the work and the others did) and what you are telling him (he got cut because of politics and the other kids don't deserve it), it's damaging to him. His life will be better if you are honest with him and yourself. Help him with his work ethic. Find times to praise him for how hard he works. This is an important time in your relationship with him.
I don't feel like people should just assume politics doesn't play a role, just as no one should be assuming here the player was cut because he wasn't good enough. Perhaps, but perhaps not. Of course there are politics at play. Of course the difference in talent between the bottom half the players who do make it and the last few who don't is razor thin, if existing at all. So I think you need to look at these situations case by case.
I tend to think I am a textbook example. I was a very good player, perhaps not the best on my team (which is a story for another day) but to say politics weren't at least a bit in play with the changing of coaches just isn't fair or accurate. Were there many things I could have done better? Of course. Were there things beyond my control? Of course.
Ken
_____________________________
Amazon: Going with the Pitch SE
Author of "Going with the Pitch: Adjusting to Baseball, School and Life as a Division I College Athlete" (Second Edition)
I have a friend whose parents blamed everything in life on politics. In sports they never noticed he wasn’t as talented as a very talented athletic class in two sports. They beat it into him he was constantly getting screwed.
Today as a 64yo he’s still an Eeyore (doomsdayer). Whenever anything goes wrong it’s always someone else’s fault.
His younger brother was a star athlete in two sports. When something goes wrong he says he screwed up.
When the younger one got cancer the older brother whined his brother is dying. When I would run into the younger brother I would ask how he was doing. He would laugh and state contrary to rumor he’s not dying. He would smile and say, “I’m fighting and winning.”
People who are accountable and have a positive attitude tend to go further than those that don’t. They don’t end up hanging around the water cooler complaining about their boss and who got the promotion they should have received.
“You can’t control the cards you’re dealt. You can control how you play them.”
- Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture
GoingwiththePitch posted:I don't feel like people should just assume politics doesn't play a role, just as no one should be assuming here the player was cut because he wasn't good enough. Perhaps, but perhaps not. Of course there are politics at play. Of course the difference in talent between the bottom half the players who do make it and the last few who don't is razor thin, if existing at all. So I think you need to look at these situations case by case.
I tend to think I am a textbook example. I was a very good player, perhaps not the best on my team (which is a story for another day) but to say politics weren't at least a bit in play with the changing of coaches just isn't fair or accurate. Were there many things I could have done better? Of course. Were there things beyond my control? Of course.
Ken
_____________________________
Amazon: Going with the Pitch SE
Author of "Going with the Pitch: Adjusting to Baseball, School and Life as a Division I College Athlete" (Second Edition)
Ken, NO ONE here is saying that politics don't exist... the point being made is, as a parent, what should the message be to a son (or daughter) going through something like this? What are we teaching them for dealing with this type of adversity, which they are sure to encounter in many ways down the road?
This is not politics. Politics is playing or keeping a kid because you have an incentive too. This is reverse politics. It is cutting a player because you cant deal with the parent. I understand it and yes I have not picked certain kids because of their parents. Not the best kid in the school but a mediocre kid who MIGHT help me but not worth the parents. I was there but reading the original message you made the coach's life miserable so yes he took it out on your kid. That is life. We say on here all the time don't talk to the coach except about life and things that will hurt your kid. Your story is one of those that we will point to in years to come when parents want to go talk to a coach or criticize a coach or get involved other than when asked to get involved. I'm sorry your son has to be the result of it but it happens. There are kids who are not drafted or given a scholarship because of the parents.
As a parent of a kid who was cut from the HS team last year (after playing a year as a Freshman), I can say that a case could have been made that there were those who weren't as deserving that made it. My son was also devastated. However, I also understood that my son would at best be a bench player who got in at certain times. He also worked hard, but not to the level that showed real dedication in my opinion. Now, almost a year after he was cut (tryouts were in May), he is enjoying life (needs to do a bit better in his academics in my opinion, though), and I think overall it was a good thing. I even thought this at the time as well, but it is still tough to see your kid disappointed.
My wife complains that my youngest son's situation (8th grader) is affected by politics as well. The difference, though, is that she thinks he should bat 3rd or 4th, and he bats 6th in the starting lineup for our MS team. He consistently bats 3rd or 4th in the travel team with different coaches and the same players. In the end, I just tell her it doesn't matter, but heck if she can let things go.... it doesn't help that I'm the assistant coach for the MS team.
Some people just see different things,and it will affect a a player position to a modest degree. However, most cases they get it in the ballpark (pun intended). I will say there was one situation with my oldest son that I know politics (in regard to a rich client's kid) played a role waaay back at 10U, but I won't get into that now.
I guess I could have done a better first post, lol.
Edit: how do I have 10+ posts?