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My son is 9th grade, a lefthand pitcher that thoughs unofficially in the 80's has a mean circle chang, curvball and slider that he gets around the dish. He can hit the ball over 300 ft. oppisite field and is being professionally trained, he is 5'9" 195 lbs, wears size 13 spikes and hasn't really hit his growth spurt yet. I'm afraid that the high school that he is zoned for the coaches play favorites and get the info from outside sources such as father/coaches that will push thier kids, friends etc. out front. I'm not in a position were I can be around all the time due to my job like other fathers. it will be very frustrating seeing jr. odd man out due to the politics in all the high schools in our area...
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Politics can and do exist at every level of baseball.All you can do is make sure your son is well prepared.If he is good enough, any good coach will have him on the field.You cant wory about politics, just focus on what you can do.ANd dont go into the HS season thinking that will happen. Be positive, and dont mention politcs and all that to your kid.Let him just play and have fun.
You could sum it all up with two words from the third sentence of your post ---- "I'm afraid" ----
Fear Not! Dog you're just experiencing the emotion that all parents feel when they want ONLY the best for their child and you know that might not happen. Matter of fact you KNOW it won't always happen. You can rest assured your child will have the opportunity to do good. He will have his share of game winning hits or get the save in a big game but he will also strike out with the bases loaded and hit into a double play when the team is counting on him. He may even take the "L" in a game ---- Stay positive and welcome to the life of being the parent of an athlete....
Fungo
quote:
Originally posted by war dog:
My son is 9th grade, a lefthand pitcher that thoughs unofficially in the 80's has a mean circle chang, curvball and slider that he gets around the dish. He can hit the ball over 300 ft. oppisite field and is being professionally trained, he is 5'9" 195 lbs, wears size 13 spikes and hasn't really hit his growth spurt yet. I'm afraid that the high school that he is zoned for the coaches play favorites and get the info from outside sources such as father/coaches that will push thier kids, friends etc. out front. I'm not in a position were I can be around all the time due to my job like other fathers. it will be very frustrating seeing jr. odd man out due to the politics in all the high schools in our area...


Not sure where you got your info about the High School Coach, but it sounds like it came from disenchanted parents? We had a similar experience. We were told by some Parents of upperclassmen that it was all about politics and that their Sons were not playing because the Coach brought up 2 Freshman that were highly touted but unproven. One of those Freshman is now playing AA in the Cardinals organization and the other got a D1 scholarship! So, maybe the ones that are saying this are parents of less-than-talented kids?
My Son went through 4 years of this program with absolutely no issues!

Other than the annual intrasquad scrimmage, I never attended a High School baseball practice. Why would you need to? Most Coaches frown on it. Some prohibit it.

On another note, if your Son has a future in baseball, his High School adventure is not near as important as his Summer exposure. Get him on a top-notch Summer team that provides good training and exposure.
Going into HS, son had a new HC, he started on JV, I never worried about his playing time, son took care of that. I have found that parents who worry about their son's future playing time know in the back of their minds junior isn't the best. Now I'm sure there are some places where politics may play a role, but really if your son is a top notch player ( you should know by HS) playing time will not be an issue. I think 99% of coaches want the best chance to win. Even in our son's situation, the new coach wasn't his best supporter but had to because of his abilities as a catcher. And it just so happened the coach's son was our #1 pitcher. So it worked out for son, he and others on his team did not like playing for this man due to his attitude.
This can be much ado about nothing---I have found in my experience that if the player has the talent there is no probem with "politics"---then "politics"
seem to effect the parents of the players of lesser talent who feel their child is being wronged

Let you son do his thing on the field and all will be right with the world
I agree with all said here. Most coaches want to win. Last year on our team, the three starting pitchers were a freshman and two sophmores. There were 2 senior pitchers and a junior on the team. I think when we started the season, the parents of one of the seniors was very disgruntled. However, over the course of the season, he saw how his son performed and how the younger guys did. He wasn't real happy, but he quit grumbling so much.

There will always be some politics. Seniors will usually get preferential treatment, unless an underclassman is head and shoulders above him, but generally the coach wants to win and will play those with the talent to help him do that.

If your son is that good, I wouldn't worry too much. The other thing I wanted to say is, I wouldn't try talking to the coach and promoting him too much. Maybe let him know that he is there so the coach knows generally who he is before tryouts begin, but don't pump him up too much. Coach probably hears how good a parents kid is ad nauseum. And he hears it from parents whose kids really are good as well as from those whose kids are very bad. He has no way to know until the kids hit the field. If your kid has the stuff, he will play. Be confident in that.
If you see a huddle of parents away from the stands with their arms crossed and they don't smile very often, stay away from them. This is the "politics" crowd. They know everything. They alternately award themselves the title of Mr. Baseball. They know more than the coach. They know more than anyone about who should be playing.

I was warned about politics when my son was in middle school and on JV's his freshman year. When he started as a soph the only politics I heard about were the ones I supposedly played to have him be the first soph to start opening day in six years. The dad of the first freshman to ever start opening day heard the same thing. What the complaining parents overlooked was our kids had been playing up in travel for two years and already made 18U scout teams for the upcoming summer.

"Politics" happen to marginal players. The "politics" are the coach decided the player other than the complainer's son has better potential. I've never heard screams of politics from the parents of obvious starters.

Relax. Tell your son to work hard. Have him read How to Make the High School Team.
Last edited by RJM
quote:
Originally posted by Fungo:
Fear Not! Dog you're just experiencing the emotion that all parents feel when they want ONLY the best for their child and you know that might not happen. Matter of fact you KNOW it won't always happen. You can rest assured your child will have the opportunity to do good.....Stay positive and welcome to the life of being the parent of an athlete....


True, double-true and triple-true! Wink

wardog - You're feelin' the same way most parents feel when this HS thing begins. Try and relax and let your son's ability do the talking. Haven't met a HS coach yet who didn't want to win. No way (well at least 99 times out of 100) will a coach cut loose a kid who can help him win. Yes, there are a small handfull of knuckleheads out there...but FAR fewer than most parents believe.

Side note: Someone on here made a comment about summer ball being more important than HS ball. That may well be true in many circumstances...probably was for our older son. But I just want to comment that our younger son's HS coach (different HS than older one) is as good as it gets...been doin' this for 25 years, over 500 wins and many, many players on to college and pro ball (including MLB). So in this case, HS ball is at the very least AS important as summer ball, maybe moreso? And this has been confirmed by EVERY SINGLE college coach we have talked too with regards to this HS coach and team and our son's situation. But he also plays in one of the top summer programs...and as one college coach told us, "You've really got the best in both worlds." So don't write off or overlook either one.
I think this topic will always come up here at the hsbaseballweb. Excellent comments thus far...

I have no doubts politics exist at some level in every organization or endeavor. It is part of the human condition imho. With respect to baseball, there are some tools to overcome politics:

1) You cannot control the coach's decision so never discuss politics with your son. Encourage him to lay it all out on the line and let the chips fall where they may. If he comes up short, encourage him to be the best team player on the planet and be prepared for future opportunites.

2) Versatility can defeat politics. If you are a shorstop and the coaches son is a shorstop, it might be a tough gig to beat that kid out. If you can slide over to second or third, you have tripled your chances of playing. If you can play outfield, you have increased your odds even more.

3) For non-pitchers, if you can hit they will find a place for you in the lineup.

4) For pitchers, throw strikes and let the chips fall where they may. It is hard for a coach to have confidence in a kid who is afraid to throw strikes imho.

5) Only focus on those things you can control like...

a) first to arrive last to leave
b) have the best attitude on the team
c) be the hardest worker on the team
d) have the dirtiest uniform on the team
e) be the guy who hustles the most
f) be the best teammate
g) do any team dirty work that might need done like field maintenance, carrying the water cooler, shagging balls, picking up equipment, etc. etc., etc.
h) never hang your head
l) always concern yourself with your teammates first

These things can get you noticed and help you stand out in a crowd. Never ever make excuses. Even though politics may exist, never let it be an excuse. A big part of baseball is learning how to overcome the excuses.
war dog,
I don't like talking specifics about my son but I will tell of his HS situation because it can relate to you and all freshman players/parents.

Freshman year he did not make JV although he and I thought he was among the top couple of freshman players. Up to 5 or 6 freshman got JV time that year. Son was very upset. My advice? Go out and do what you do and things will work out.
Son went on to be the best hitter on the freshman team and never got an inning on JV. (Every year at the year end banquet the coaches give individual stat sheets to every player)

Sophmore year, same thing. Didn't make varsity. Extremely disappointed. Wanted to quit HS ball and wait for travel. Me? Same advice as freshman year.
Same results, best hitter (stat sheet) and power hitter. Although called up for V playoff game, not one inning played.

For the first time in my life I did call the JV coach to see if my son had any discipline issues for not playing. No issues, but he also didn't understand why not called up.

Junior year. Makes varsity, starts 1B, bats 3rd every game. Breaks HS season HR record, hits almost 500 and makes many post season all star teams.

I don't think it was politics with my son, maybe a coach with an agenda. But whatever the reason is that a kid doesn't play he should continue to play the game as he has up to that point.

The moral of this story is that if the talent is there it will be noticed and appreciated eventually, if not immediately. Don't let your son use politics or disappointments as a crutch. You will hear two things many times on this site, "just worry about what you can control" and "it's a marathon not a sprint". Two truer phrases you will never hear. If the talent is there they will get what they earn sooner or later if we, the parents, and outside nonsense stay out of the way.

Now back to our originally scheduled program!
Last edited by fillsfan
These have been excellent posts. STAY away from the complainers , the whiners , the people who constantly talk about politics , the negative folks! They are miserable , they want another member to join their team. What is really sad is in many cases they have already made their son miserable as well. Do not listen to their stories that they will tell how this kid did this and this kid did that and then the coach did this and then the coach did that. They will spend four years of assisting each other in the negative environment. Once in awhile one of their kids will become a starter and they will fade from the club. Sometimes they will come right back as soon as he doesnt start. Well most of the time.

Do not concern yourself with the parents that appear to be gaining an advantage for their kids by playing apparent politics with the coaching staff. It serves no purpose to do this only than to cause you to worry about something that does not matter. Do not concern yourself with what these parents say about other players or the team. If you listen close enough you will rarely if ever hear them say anything positive about the other players unless the player is a son of one of the negative parents club. If you listen closely you will hear them constantly being negative and constantly pumping each others kids to oneanother and constantly putting down the players that play in front of the negative parents clubs kids.

Let it be fun and a positive experience for your son. Let it be a fun and positive experience for you. When its all over and this quick four years comes to an end you will be very glad you did. And if you dont you will wish like H ell you had.

The proof is obvious how this all works. Observe the parents that come to the park and cheer for the team and enjoy the games. Watch how they have a good time. Now observe the parents negative club. They only enjoyment they have is in seeing failure by the players in front of their kids. Using this as a way to validate their negative attitudes. Also observe how their attitude quickly changes when one of their sons earns a starting spot. Quickly that member is no longer wanted in the club. And that member is no longer feeling like they want to be in the club.

The people I am talking about are obvious. You will quickly learn who they are. You have the opportunity to make the right decision. I hope you do. Good luck to your son he sounds like a talented young player.
Last edited by Coach_May
I think I have mentioned this before but I think it bears mentioning again with regard to politics in HS baseball

My sons senior year in HS saw a political move in town to remove the longtime baseball coach---it took place just before practice began in the spring--my son was devastated when he got the news

If you have a strong AD things can be averted-- he was forced to remove the coach but he took over after that---his search committee was himself, the Asst Principal and my son who was the team captain--I objected to my son being on the committee but he, my son, talked me out of it because he said he knew what was going on and he wanted a piece of the action--they got the highly successful football coach to apply, he had been a baseball stud at the Division II college level, ---he got the job and all went well---my point is that if there is a strong system in place the politics can be aborted

Funny thing is that some 15 years laters we all touch base every now and then
I can speak from the point of view of a son who had the rare really bad H.S coach. He played JV for 2 years, did his work and got what he could out of it, played on excellent summer teams for good coaches and is playing in college, the only one to do so in that coaches ten year H.S. career. He knows the coach is just a rotten human being and now that he is out of H.S he does what he can to steer the local kids who want to pursue their dream to avenues where the ****** coach has little impact. He even is the pitching coach for the middle school kids during the summer. I could not be more proud. The adversity in my opinion made him a better player in the long run, he learned life is not fair, some coaches are to be avoided if you can, and you can still prevail in the face of adversity.
I agree with all the advice given...very good stuff...

However, being a good ball player is not always good enough...you can be the best kid on the team and if your attitude sucks, well, some coaches will send you packing...

This happened at my kid's school last year...the kid, clearly the best kid on the team. Yet, he felt entitiled and did not have to work hard to keep a spot on the team because he was the best player on the team. He was also a bully, who picked on others. As you would expect, he had an overall bad attitude. The coach gave him two years to mature and develop, but then decided he could tolerate it no more...and cut him in his senior year.

Devastating to the kid and his parents would be an understatement of how they felt. Getting cut in your senior year when you're trying to manuever to get into the best school and BB program you can and then get cut? Wow, this could seem like the end of the world to a kid. Indeed, the dad came so unglued at the coach he had to be escorted off the school campus. Not a good situation.

Anyway, the point is that no matter how good your son is he needs to keep working and striving to get better while respecting his teamates, coaches, teachers and fellow students. To remember playing the game is a privilage and not a right. Your son will play at the discreation of the coach and he should respect his decisions. Do not complain about the coach in front of your son because nothing good ever comes out of this. Have your son focus on his skills and try to ignore and forget anything else.

Play your game and not the game of politics...
Last edited by Coach Waltrip
If you play long enough , if your kid plays long enough , you will encounter situations where you feel you or your kid is getting the short end of the stick. Hey , thats life. Now how are you going to deal with it? That is what is important.

You focus on why you are really there. Your kid to play baseball , be a great team mate and you to support him and the entire team and enjoy the experience. When your focus shifts to the BS it all becomes BS. All of it.

There will come a day when you have zero control of the BS. And there will come a day when its not going exactly as you would like it to go. So what? Its baseball. Sit back and let your son battle , claw , fight , learn , adapt , adjust , overcome. Listen , encourage , give advice when needed and shut up and listen when they want to talk and just let them know you will be there if they need you. And then let them do what men have to do. Or you can become part of the problem.

The lessons we learn when faced with adversity are far more valuable than lessons not learned by avoiding it because of fear of failure. Its not such a bad thing to have to learn how to deal with this stuff at these ages. Because sooner or later they will have to in life as well. Baseball teaches alot more than how to play a game. It also can teach lessons that help you in life. If you let it.
My son is a freshman in HS. The politics talk started at the first preseason meeting of the year. School had been in session for 3 weeks.

We blew it off thanks to some excellent advice I had read on here over the years. I did notice that it was the parents of kids who hadn't been promoted past their grade level the last couple of years. One parent even said that we didn't have to worry about politics because we were good friends with one of the starters on varsity's parents and we had an "In" with the political crowd.

It was pretty amusing but it annoyed my wife quite a bit.

Thanks again for all of the great advice on this site. It is a life saver and has reduced my stress level by a large amount. Keep up the good work guys and gals.
Wardog- print this advice and keep it handy. Read it once and read it many times if you think things aren't
going your son's way.

You have gotten great advice from the best posters in the world. Follow their advice and keep your comments to your son positive and things will work out.

Welcome it looks like you found the right site just in time. Relax and try to enjoy the ride- it goes waaaay too fast.
war dog, I wish I could get back all that time and energy that I wasted worrying about politics, worrying about what the other parents were thinking, and even being mad at some of them when I learned that they thought he got his playing time due to "politics."

Now I know that none of that stuff matters! What matters is what he did, and continues to do, on the field. Not what happens in the stands.

Follow the advice you're getting! It will be hard sometimes, but do all you can to avoid the negativity. It's bad for your health!

There is one more thing your son can control. His grades. You'll hear it over and over again, and it is the truth. Good grades really do open doors.
Last edited by 2Bmom
Politics do exist. Unlike some people the one's who told me about the politics were a couple guys whose kids ended up playing D1 and a couple whose kids ended up playing pro ball. At times it was pretty blatant. At times things seemed pretty fair. Even so all you can do is try to be so good that the politics don't matter. Not every player has that luxury.

You'll be a lot happier if you convince yourself that there aren't any politics regardless and as some others have told you don't get your son worried about politics.
Last edited by CADad
Wow, so many posts with the same message I'd give you. Stay positive with your son, expectations effect outcomes. Focus every bit of energy on what he can control, he'll start influancing the others things outside his control. Understand his job is to make the greatest contribution to the program's success he can. No program can ever get enough of a kid like that.

Last season most of the dozen or so kids from a club team I'd coached for a long time played together in HS. There was a lot of concern about PT and who was playing were, what games kids would pitch etc.. We came up with a short saying to deal with all of that; "shut up and hit". Most of the time it's really that simple, don't let yourself get caught up in things you can't control, work hard and rake.
Last edited by 3rdgenerationnation
I would like to thank all for the responses.
I do follow a lot of the advise given sublinamally. I would like to say that it's not a worry as much of a concern with the politics since this is his first year of high school and baseball hasn't started yet.
I have to say for jr. is basically oblivious to the politics, he just sees what has gone around him in the past and the positive thing I've seen is it has given him the desire to work harder and push himself to get better.
As for me I probably sound like a broken record telling him "to do what you", "be positive" and "keep smilling"; he does and has fun doing it. He always has a great attitude eliminating the stress or stressors for the people around him...
For me when I do get a chance to watch my son play I watch from a far enjoying the competition of all and at the end of the game I walk up to all say to them good game or good job and when I get to jr. I will slap him five tell him that I'm proud of you. No matter the out come is...

PS. I'm Relaxed.
War dog, one thing I know for sure: Regardless of politics, if your son exudes confidence — I don't mean cockiness but just confidence in his ability — the coach will play him. TRhit is right in his definition of talent. Attitude is a big part of it. If the coach sees him intimidating batters with confidence and ability, I don't care how bad a coach is or what his good-ole-boy mentality is, your kid will play. I guarantee it.
This is all great advice except that sometimes a kid needs experience to get better and exude confidence. In our case, the HS coach was dealing with heavy donaters to the Booster's Club with a pitcher son. That coupled with the fact our son was an unknown to him, caused him to not put him in until the end of the season. It was one of those far reaches into the bullpen when the coach had exhausted all his pitchers. That kind of pressure without the experience didn't make for a good presence on the mound and made the HS coach reluctant to put him in the next season. I've seen this with batters too, the coach doesn't put a kid in until the 6th or 7th game and then by then the kid feels so much pressure to do well that they fold. While son still played on the HS team(mostly sat on the bench), we found him a coach on a travel team that did believe in him. Amazing what can happen when someone gives you a chance. He became their starting pitcher and brought the team to their first ever tournament championship. When the HS coach finally put him on the mound, son blew him away. Now he is their go-to closer and is being looked at by several colleges.

Politics were definitely in play on the team as it is in many places. But we just stayed away from the gossip/negative parents, and got him the experience he needed to get better. If your son isn't able to grow on the high school team and becomes a victim of the politics, DO NOT WAIT! Get him onto a reputable travel team and when he's a junior, a showcase team.
Last edited by sandlotmom
We always here politics. I was the head coach at a high school for 25 years. I played the best kids. I did not know who their father was where they came from who they played for etc etc Despite what people say about politics there comes a time when all the "politics" ends. In my case it ended when they got to me. You either can play or you can not. I wanted to put the best team on the field. Maybe this is being old fashioned but what coach would bench a kid and play somebody else of less talent because his father or uncle or whatever is whatever? it is about TALENT. Coaches who get the squeeze because of politics be a coach and tell them to go to (*&&^%.
I agree, playing the best kids are what most coaches do, but I have to admit I have on occasion seen something else.

What I usually see is a coach (including myself) play a kid who they believed could not perform because they felt bad they didn't play enough or had been pressured by the parents or perceived pressure. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it does not.

I have learned as much as possible to ignore the politics when it is aimed at me (coach) because it will cause you to make missteps in judgment, which I have certainly done. When you play a kid because his parents have pressured you too you end up ticking off someone else. You find yourself in a lose-lose situation.

Let me give you an example...When my sons, Sam and Gabe were little I began coaching their little league team. Sam had a good arm, one of the fastest on the team, usually one of the top hitters and one of the best players in the league. My other son, Gabe was a big, slow and uncoordinated player was not very good, always one of the last to be drafted, but he wanted to play and to be with dad. No problem, I wanted him on the team and enjoyed it immensely.

About midway through the season a parent sent me a very long email detailing why I played favorites with Sam only because he was my son. She said I played him in all the good positions like SS/pitcher and ignored her more talented son. She said her son had low self-esteem and needed to pitch to show what he was capable of doing. The fact is her son had a difficult time hitting the broad side of a barn and he did lack confidence. I just didn’t have the practice time to work with him to throw strikes.

Anyway, I said I would pitch him if the situation dictated, but I explained to her as delicately as I possibly could that I was not going to pitch him in a tight situation or when the game is on the line because if he failed miserably how was he going to feel then? What was that going to do for his self-esteem?

In addition, when I pointed out that I had another son on the team she was surprised and said she didn't know that in spite of the fact I had given her a roster with all the players names. Unfortunately, Gabe played the minimum and was happy with that, but not his mom because she let me have it too! And that was worse than any email...it was in person!

As a coach you will always find yourself in this position with some parents whether it is little league or high school, it is something you have to learn to handle. It goes with the territory.

As a coach I want my weakest players to get better. So it is in my interest as well as the individual players that they work to get better on their own and with the team. You never know when you need that extra bat or arm to pitch. As I have heard it said, 'You are only as good as your weakest player.'
Last edited by Coach Waltrip
quote:
Unfortunately, Gabe played the minimum and was happy with that, but not his mom because she let me have it too! And that was worse than any email...it was in person!
A friend was president of our LL. When his son didn't make all-stars he spent a couple of weeks sleeping on the couch.
.

    "I'm telling ya GW, you gotta get yourself a can of the stuff and sit back and let all happen..."


We've been hearing how great this stuff is so a buddy and I set out Halloween night to get some. We went right to the source. They didn't want to hand any over so we tried to coax some from 'em!



And about those two holes in the ceiling? I swear there were clay pigeons flying around, but it turns out they were merely cup saucers.




.
Last edited by gotwood4sale
Well I cut my oldest son when he was a Jr in HS. He wasnt good enough to make the varsity. I had to cut some other guys that were better than him. I was told "No one is going to think bad of you if you keep Jake on the team he is your son." I would have. Those other kids were someones son too.

It is your job as the coach to put the best players on the field that give your team the best chance to win that game that day. It is your job to keep the kids that deserve to be on the team. If your afraid to be the coach then find something else to do. You can not preach to your players the importance of earning what they get and at the same time give something to those that have not earned it.

I could careless what the people in the stands think. I could careless if they agree with the line up or not. I know who has earned it and I know who gives us the best chance to win. Frankly I could careless if they agree or not. My players know who the best options are. They want to win. They deserve to be given the best chance to win. Players work for years for the opportunity to play and they earn it. I am not going to give something to someone and watch those that have earned it sit behind them.

By the way my oldest son worked his butt off that off season and made the team his sr year as a dh. He got about 25 abs and was a great team mate. He earned it. Weaker players dont get better by being given anything. They get better by understanding what its going to take to get better and then going out and doing that. Stronger players dont deserve to sit because they have worked their butts off to be better so someone who has not worked to be good enough can play. If a kid busts his butt and is doing everything he can to get better you look for opportunities to reward that hard work. But they will earn it. Not their parents.

And by the way if a Freshman gives our team the best chance to win and a Sr is his competition the Sr sits. If you want to make sure you play then make sure your the best option. And just because your the best option today dont assume you will be tomorrow.

I have not had a problem with a single parent in several years. The players know the deal because I tell them and the veteran players tell them. The parents know the deal and if they dont like it they know I dont care. I have a great relationship with my parents. They want to win too. And they want their kids to earn what they get. The ones that feel otherwise choose to play somewhere else. And thats a good thing.
quote:
Originally posted by Coach_May:
I know who has earned it and I know who gives us the best chance to win.


What if these are two different players; one does the 'work', the other is more talented. Would you punish the whole team, as far as 'giving them the best chance to to win'? Play the hard worker and sit the kid who doesn't buy in to the whole program, but is obviously the better player?

I'm asking, because you're a coach. Son's football team had this situation with two RBs. Of course, a dad got involved...
We've obviously got some great coaches on this site. The very fact that you are posting on a site that helps parents and kids make the most of their high school years makes it pretty clear where you stand wrt fairness. Not every team has coaches with such integrity. Politics do happen unfortunately and the kids are the ones that suffer the most. For anyone caught in this situation, find avenues for your son to get the experience and confidence outside of his HS team and before long your HS coach will have no choice but to put him in. Because you can't argue with winning. If son doesn't improve with this extra experience, then you'll have a better idea what the HS coach was working with. Just don't put all your eggs in the HS basket - that can be fatal to son's baseball career.
Reading Coach May's post made me think. I've posted this before, maybe more than once...

I was talked into coaching the Legion team many years ago. We had tryouts and had to get to an 18 man roster.

My youngest son was one of those trying out. He was a sophomore in High School at that time. I cut him! He understood! He was 16 years old at the time and not one of the top 18 players trying out.IMO

There's more.... At age 22 he was playing in front of 50,000 fans in the Major Leagues.

Bad coaching? Good coaching? Politics?

Wonder if it hadn't been my own son if someone would have thought politics were involved?

Anyway, politics exist in most everything. Coaches sometimes like one kid more than another for many different reasons. I think it is best to be one of those they like a lot. Coaches tend to like all kids who work hard and have a good attitude. They also tend to favor (when coming to playing time) those who are the most talented.

Then there are a few who just don't do the right thing. Coaches are just like players and umpires... some are good, some are bad, they are not all the same. The sooner one realizes that, the better prepared one will be.
Unless I missed it over three pages, there's one other thing that happens. Coaches sometimes make mistakes. Sometimes they misperceive a player's potential to the detriment of another player. It's not politics. It's a mistake. If it's the player's one year to start it stinks. If it's early in his high school career he'll probably overcome it. The key for the player is get to work instead of sulking.
Coach May’s post made me think about something our HS coach just told all of the parents this week at the “all parents meeting”. He said that he had the pleasure to teach and develop kids as baseball players, and for that he was grateful. He also had the pain of telling kids they would no longer be able to play HS baseball. He pointed out that of the current senior class there were 4 players still on the team. That class started with 20 freshmen. They had about the same number of Sr’s last year. So for the last two senior classes he has had to tell 32 kids "thanks for coming out, but you are done." Politics? No. Some very unpleasant discussions? Yes.
So many great posts addressing this age old question could make for golden thread potential. Dog, I hope you have read these folks thoughts. They "get it". there might be politics afoot, but it usually only surfaces around the bottom of the roster, if at all. It is mostly a figment of those parents imagination, anyway.

As others have said, the kids know who needs to be on the field, and they usually are.

No worries. Enjoy the experience and stay posi+ive.
Last edited by Dad04
Vicarious Dad thats a fair and good question. And the answer for me is very simple. If you want to build a program you have to get the players to understand there is a certain standard that must be lived up to. In the classroom , on the field and off the field. The type of kids you have in your program is just as important if not more important than the type of talent you have in your program. I have always believed that helping to mold young boys into young men is part of building a good hs baseball program. And I also believe that when you hold these youngsters to a high standard they will step up. I also believe that when you dont they wont. You are doing the kid wrong when you dont challenge them to be the very best they can be. And in the end you hurt your program.

There are programs that are only competitive when a good crop of talent cycles through their program. And even then they many times underachieve. The players rarely get better over their four years in hs. And then there are programs that are always competitive and many times overachieve even when their talent level has dropped off. Their players always seem to get better year after year.

Building a program and setting standards for your team , program and players is all part of the process. You may have a better chance to win that game if you play that kid but what message are you sending to the younger players coming into the program or the ones already there?

Every player in our program will work hard , will be a good team mate , will hold themselves accountable or they will not play regardless of their talent level. They will not play because they will not be on the team. Hustle is something I never tell a player to do. If I have to tell them to hustle I have made a huge mistake in not cutting them. Effort , desire , attitude - takes absolutely no talent to accomplish.

Jerry is spot on with his post. Coaches like the players that work hard and have a great attitude. And they tend to favor those that are the most talented. So when you hold all of your players to the same standard it all shakes out. Do coaches have favorites? Of course they do. Every kid should strive to be one of those kids.

I have never played a kid that didnt work hard. Because if they dont work hard they are not on the team.
In dealing with politics I believe that 95% of the time it comes down to perspective. It really isn't there but some people believe it happens because they lack the realism and character to truly understand the situation. I'm not naieve enough to say that there aren't coaches out there who will give the booster club president's a favored spot on the team / lineup. It happens and will continue to happen. But I truly think politics is generally coming from one skewed POV.

Building a team is a VERY difficult task and then to build a program is even tougher. Some people may not realize that there is a difference in a team and program but there is. A program is the standards and expectations you have for your players year in and year out. A program is an attitude and work ethic. A team is a collection of individuals that a coach has to mold into a cohesive unit where you improve their skills. A team is more about athletic achievement that can change year to year. As Coach May has said you have to establish high standards and expectations on and off the field. It doesn't take the best player to be a part of the program and in fact the programs is usually built on the attitudes of the lower end kids but the team really takes off when the best players buy into the program. But sometimes you have to cast off the best players on the team for the sake of the long term health of the program.

Politics is a POV because parents or players don't want to become part of the team regardless of their abilities to perform for the team. Little Johnny might be a good player but Little Bobby is just as good but has great grades, works his butt off, respected by peers / teachers. Little Johnny could be a better student, could work harder in practice, gets into a small amount of trouble at school. Johnny's parents don't see / accept the intangibles are what separates Bobby from Johnny. In fact most people don't have a clue what the intangibles are that coaches see everyday. Mom and dad are now ticked off so they tell everyone they can find how terrible the coach is. The sad part is others will sometimes listen to what's going on.

You can't build a program in one or two seasons. It takes time to build a program because a program is built on consistency by the head coach. The asst coaches will change and the players obviously change but if the message is the same year after year after year then one group passes it down to the next group. New people coming in know beforehand what is expected and that gets the players realizing that politics doesn't exist. It also helps head off the vast majority of parent problems because they know the deal beforehand as well. But there are times when stupidity will prevail and you have to deal with a problem.

As for RJM said - he's 100% right. Coaches do make mistakes in evaluating talent. I know I have. I didn't have ulterior motives for playing one kid over another - I just thought the other kid was better and it turns out I was wrong. It happens.

Coaches do have favorite players and they tend to be the examples I used above with Little Bobby. Those types of kids will get a few more chances than a Little Johnny type kid. I'm not going to give myself headaches over a kid who has been given several chances (on the field and off) who continues to let himself and the team down. Quick story - this season in football we had a kid who was a problem and since I was defensive coordinator I had to deal with him as a defensive back. He messed up a couple of times and my advice to the head coach was to get rid of him because at some point he was going to quit because I was going to let up my standards and neither was the head coach. But the head coach kept giving him a few more chances because he wanted to help this kid make a turn for the better. I admired that in the HC but I didn't feel we could do it and he was starting to distract the team. Well the kid messed up and the HC made him come apologize to me for what he did. I told him I would accept his apology but he better realize that you can't apologize everything away. When you mess up there are repercussions and if you do it enough you lose credibility. I told him he was at that point with me in that I really didn't want to hear apologies when my main impression of him was he was going to be a problem. We caught him lying about two weeks later in why he didn't come to practice (in fact we made several phone calls to catch him in the lie - we worked for it). Once again I wanted to cut him loose but the HC said he had to do a lot of running in order to come back. He did part of the running and walked away and never returned. That showed the type of character he had and that is the type of kid you got to eliminate from your program. The worst part is in this case some parents will say this is an example of politics because we ran this kid off. It happens.

I guess what I'm saying (in a very long winded, rambling and sometimes off topic way) is that politics is a bad word people who lack a work ethic use to justify failure. They will use this to justify their failure for probably the rest of their lives. It does exist but overall it's just a POV some people take when they can't handle failure.

Sorry rambling is over now - but bless you if you made it this far.
This thread is nominated for Golden

PG, Coach May and Coach 2709 - classic posts as are every post I have read in this thread. Outstanding posts by all that have been MOST enjoyable to read!

PG - you were a lousy Coach. Cutting a future major league player - you were obviously playing politics Big Grin

Coach 2709 - what a post! I loved your description about the difference between building a team and a program. I saw my son's high school team develop into a program several years ago when two players were cut whose parents were prominent members of the booster club including the club President's son. The kids cut had talent but they also had attitudes. Took guts to do what he did but the "program" has been perenniel state title contenders ever since.

Coach May - I'll focus on one sentence of your fine post:
quote:
I have never played a kid that didnt work hard. Because if they dont work hard they are not on the team.

I used to think that baseball was an individual sport which to some extent it is. I thought that if you put 9 great players out on the field that you automatically win by out-talenting the other team. My experiences with high school baseball and beyond have taught me otherwise however. I believe the best "teams" win. Sometimes, the best teams are the most talented but sometimes they are not. You get every guy on the team believing in the "program" as Coach 2709 points out and you have a dynamic that is even more powerful sometimes than having the most talent. I think back to the famous/funny Bum Phillips quote on Don Shula. He said "He can take his and beat yours and take yours and beat his."
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I also agree 100% with fillsfan so long as the quote is coming from someone who acknowledges that the effects of politics do exist, yet he or she does not implement the power of politics.

I also agree that politics is often used as an excuse to cover for some perceived wrong. It happens. And it happens in all aspects of life.

And it also happens that politics, or more appropriately a superior position of power is used to squelch or punish. It happens. And it happens in all aspects of life.

Whether perceived or real it is frustrating to encounter this. In a much more perfect world it shouldn't happen often, but we don't exist in a perfect world...not even in a Factory Second world.

I have stated it many times before here on the HSBBW...to be a good coach, including everything needed to be a a good coach, requires a tremendous amount of hardwork, dedication, honest focus on success for themselves and their team, and an underlying sense of fairness. They are driven by good.

Not all coaches possess this combination or have the ability to achieve it. These coaches are, in my opinion, not good coaches. They, and their bad influence, are not appreciated.

And conversely, those coaches who substantially do possess these qualities and continue to strive for it, are good coaches. They are playing at or near the top of their game. They are appreciated. And they are especially appreciated by players and their families who have experienced a particularly poor coach.

When given a choice between a good coach or a bad coach the good coach is selected. This isn't any different than other choices we make.
    Good doctor? Bad doctor? Easy decision.
    Good mechanic? Bad mechanic? Easy decision.
    Good grocery store chain? Bad grocery store chain? Easy decision.
    Good dry cleaner? Bad dry cleaner? Easy decision.
    Geico©? Progressive©? Not such an easy decision!


We have choices in almost everything in life. But with coaches sometimes we don't have a choice. It is then that you hope your coach is a good one. And when the coach is good life is sweet!




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Last edited by gotwood4sale
quote:
Originally posted by gotwood4sale:
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We have choices in almost everything in life. But with coaches sometimes we don't have a choice. It is then that you hope your coach is a good one. And when the coach is good life is sweet!




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Yes it is!!!!




****Note from Moderator - CD ****
Coach Waltrip - loved your picture but it distorts reading of the thread. If you can find a smaller one, please repost - thanks!
Last edited by Coach Waltrip
Perhaps we could clone the coaches on this site and spread them across to HS programs across the country. What a public service that be.

Yes, there are good coaches and bad coaches, but I can tell you this: I wouldn't want to be one. You have to love the game an awful to put up some some of the pain-in-the-neck parents out there. (I should know. I think I was one once. Smile)

And let's face it, politics is the buzzword many parents fall back on when their kid isn't good enough to be in the starting lineup. It's a whole lot easier to cry politics than to say Junior is hitting .189 and couldn't catch a cold.

Kids who truly are stuck playing for bad coaches have to learn to deal with it. Just like all of us older folks have to deal with bad bosses. Life isn't always easy and isn't always fair. But how you handle things says a whole lot about what kind of person you are. Overcoming the politics, if they actually exist, is just another bump in life's road to navigate.
quote:
I believe the best "teams" win. Sometimes, the best teams are the most talented but sometimes they are not.


CD,
I agree and can't leave that one alone. Maybe a bit off topic, but very worthwhile topic on its own.

We tried to simplify winning so that everyone easily understood. Every win or success can be attributed to 4 main ingredients.

1 - Talent
2 - Effort
3 - Intelligence
4 - Luck

The plan was to be the best team on the field in the first three. When that happens, chances are #4 will also be on your side.

However, we would win many games where we weren't the most talented. Effort and intelligence can help improve talent, but once the game starts the other team may have more talent. Effort and intelligence were the most important areas for us. Our goal was to make **** sure that we were always #1 in those areas every time we took the field. It was something you could control to a certain extent.

In order to win when playing against better talent, you need to be better than them at 2 and 3. If you happen to have #4 on your side that day, all that much better.

Talent is still the most important thing, but the other things can overcome that at times. The days you take the field knowing you have the most talent, and also knowing you're #1 at effort and intelligence, it is a sure win nearly always. However, there is still "luck" which can change everything. If you are best that day at 1, 2 and 3. It takes a lot of luck for the other team to win.

Anyway, that was our simple philosophy. It wasn't that simple to actually accomplish everything.

I know this is off topic.

So I will add in a feeble attempt to get back on topic. Winning or success, be it baseball or anything else, be it team or individual, will always include the four ingredients. There might be even more ingredients, but the four will always play a huge part. Other things, people mention like character, class, etc… actually fall into one of the 4 categories IMO. How truly intelligent is an individual who shows no class?

So which of the 4 areas does “politics” fall under? If anything… maybe Luck? Luck is the only one of the 4 ingredients a person has no control over. Concentrate on the other 3 and everything is very likely to turn out well. Especially concentrate on #2 and #3!

Politics isn’t likely to stop the person who truly excels at 1, 2 and 3. IMO Those that allow politics to stop them in baseball, are likely to experience politics stopping them again in other areas.

Note: I could be all wet about this and should not be held responsible for anyone who fails, following the above ideas. I guess it is possible someone could have lots of talent, give the most effort possible and tries to be the most intelligent… And still fail on account of politics! I would take that chance, though. Effort and intelligence will usually overcome obstacles like bad luck and politics. IMO
quote:
And then there are programs that are always competitive and many times overachieve even when their talent level has dropped off. Their players always seem to get better year after year.

My son had the good fortune to play four years of high school in this kind of program. Every year the team contended for the league title, and every year the team went deep into state playoffs.

But almost every year it was predicted it would be a down year for the program, because they lost so many seniors, or because the key player had graduated, or because the talent level wasn't what it was in the past.

But without fail, the seasons would play out, and the team would contend. It would invariably get huge contributions from kids who nobody thought would ever be impact players. Modestly talented kids who were allowed to develop, to be a part of a system with a tradition of excellence.

The kids did indeed step up. Year in and year out.

And it was always to the amazement of the outsiders. Those of us on the inside were amazed by their amazement!
This takes it out of the realm of politics and back to the issue of "what makes a good coach?"

Even though I have not met any of you (with the exception of PG Staff, briefly, at Jupiter this year), it sounds like there are several coaches on this board whom I would love to have coach my son, like Coach May, PG, Funnel Drill and Coach Waltrip. But apparently circumstances can change, and sometimes overnight.

I know its the other sport, but three years ago, Eric Mangino was considered by a lot of people to be a good coach. He could have been elected governor of Kansas. Now, as stories come out about his statements to and treatment of players, it's unlikely he will last beyond this season.
Did he suddenly stop being a good coach, or did he just lose patience with the student athletes he recruited, and the loss of patience is making news?

A number of the alleged statements attributed to Mangino are being made by former players. Their playing days are apparently over, so is this "politics" on their part, or their chance to take a measure of revenge over some slight that happened several years ago that flew under the radar when the program was successful? Or, is this just sour grapes because they did not have the NFL career to which they felt they were entitled?

Would Mangino have been better off had he cut those players for "Conduct unbecoming" because of the attitude they displayed? In hindsight, probably so, since his words from years ago are now being used to torpedo him. Had he cut them, though, would he have been as successful? Perhaps not. It's a pretty fine line.

In any event, I do not envy you your jobs. I stopped my brand of coaching when he was 11 and my son is probably much the better for it. He's had good coaches since then, and others who were not as good. But it was never "politics" that kept him out of the lineup. It was usually curveballs. Good thing he can pitch a little bit.
I came to a school in 1996 that had not made the state playoffs in 13 years. When I asked the team I inherited how long had it been since the program had been to the playoffs no one knew. When I asked the parents at our meeting no one knew. I asked the players who was the last player from the program to make all state none of them knew. When I asked the parents none of then knew. I asked the players who was the last player to play in college. I asked the players who was the last player to be drafted. I asked the players who was the last player to sign with an ACC school. None of them knew. When I asked the players none of then knew. This was a program that at one time had three pitchers on the same staff that signed D1 and two were drafted. One pitched for the NY Yankees ML club. Two others set many records in college and one other was drafted and played AAA ball. That team did not even make the playoffs. Our players were never invited or made the state games. Our team was never invited to play in any of the pretigeous tournements at Easter break. We couldnt get any of the better programs to play us. Why? They wouldnt answer.

I asked them why they thought this was the case. None of the players said a word. When I asked the parents no one spoke up. I then told them they did not understand what it took to win. I told them they were 4 month players who did not understand that what you did in the off season , what you did when no one was watching would determine what you were capable of doing when everyone was watching. I told them they had a team from year to year and did not have a baseball program. I told them that many of them sitting there were not going to be willing to do what I was going to demand from them. The very best in the classroom. The very best of them off the field. And everything they had on the field. And an off season program that was going to demand more from them that many were going to be willing to give.

But I promised those that were willing that we would build a program. And I promised those that were willing they would part of something special , something they could be proud of. And I told them they would be able to answer those questions I asked them when they were seniors. Since that time we have won numerous conference championships , had several all state players , had several players go on to play in college , had four ACC signees and several players drafted. And another guy in the major leagues.

The thing I am most proud of is the fact that several guys that were rec league also rans have developed into great hs players who have gone on to play at several college programs at all levels of play. And several guys that had a wonderful hs baseball experience that would have not. Learning to hold yourself to a higher standard , learning what working hard really is , learning that being a part of something special is really something special.

It is truly amazing how much better a talented player can be when he is in an environment that challenges him to be better. And even more amazing how much better a less talented player will become when he is surrounded by players that are more talented than him that show the work ethic needed to be your best.

Now I can go to the local rec fields and they can answer the same questions my team and parents could not answer 13 years ago. Now after games some of my players are signing baseballs for the little kids at the games. Now the local kids are dreaming of wearing that jersey when they get in hs. Building a program is the most rewarding thing a coach can do imo. Teams are year to year. A program is the foudation those teams are built upon.

Nothing and no one person is more important than the program. Yes there are politics at every level of baseball just like in life at your job etc. Dont use politics or anything else as an excuse to fail. Overcome whatever obstacles you have to overcome. In the end it will make you a tougher person and will make you better for having to work to overcome.

I left my program in the hands of a great guy who will no doubt continue to build it. And I have moved on to other things in the game. But I doubt I will ever do anything that requires more work than building a winning program. Changing the culture of an entire community that believes that going .500 is a great year.
“When you have a good coach who doesn’t play politics, life is sweet.” Or something like that.

This thread makes me a little sad and jealous…. Why? Because I would have loved for my boys to play in a PROGRAM and on a TEAM with a GOOD COACH who didn’t play POLITICS. I wish the same thing for my daughters. I’m envious of all of you who don’t understand that concept. I’m envious of the coaches here who don’t understand that it can happen because they don’t play that game. I’m envious of the parents of children who haven’t experienced it. And I’m envious of the players who can follow the “commandment”—Play so well that they have to play you.

Sometimes, it IS about politics, or as gotwood4sale wrote, SUPERIOR POSITIONS OF POWER. We happen to be at a school with an incredibly corrupt and powerful athletic director /head football coach who has been at the school for over four decades. He coaches and directs that most, I can’t say ALL of the teams (maybe not badminton), follow his dictate. The players, parents, and other coaches who can benefit him are given many opportunities, regardless of talent or “heart”. There is no attempt to hide this. He has been at the school so long that “it is the way it’s always been done”. It’s been going on for literally generations. Too much power in one position. Anyone who has been brave enough to challenge him has been more than beaten back. Get on his **** list and your athletic future is diminished. The lost opportunities for student- athletes to grow and excel at this high school are numerous ----and that is inexcusable. Again, I am very envious of those of you who coach with the true spirit of coaching---for the kids--- and fair and square.

The flip side to him is the summer coach of my daughters’ softball program. He is a decades long AD/coach who is the mirror opposite of our AD. Oh how we wish that we would have moved to his school district on the opposite side of Crook County…..or that he had come to our high school...…Anyway, the point is, you are lucky and dare I say “blessed” if you have no concept or understanding that politics or someone using their superior power, CAN and DOES occur.

At least in the classroom, when you work very hard, you get rewarded with good grades--and therefore scholarship opportunities. It is too bad the same effort, when put forth in the athletic arena at our high school, is rewarded only when our AD decrees for it to happen---and by whom. It is a sad situation that needs to change---and NEVER should have been allowed to happen in the first place.
Last edited by play baseball
quote:
Originally posted by Coach_May:
It is truly amazing how much better a talented player can be when he is in an environment that challenges him to be better. And even more amazing how much better a less talented player will become when he is surrounded by players that are more talented than him that show the work ethic needed to be your best.





Coach May, I've said it before and I'll say it again.... I wish you could have coached ALL of my children.
Last edited by play baseball
Coach May said this, too:
quote:
Yes there are politics at every level of baseball just like in life at your job etc. Dont use politics or anything else as an excuse to fail. Overcome whatever obstacles you have to overcome. In the end it will make you a tougher person and will make you better for having to work to overcome.



We HAVE used our experiences to help teach our children to fight for what you want, etc. But it is a mighty tough lesson for kids to learn that it isn't always the most deserving people who get the job or position, ......that sometimes it is who you know...and sometimes you don't stand a chance..... Mad
Last edited by play baseball
That is a very nice thing to say and I really do appreciate it play baseball. I can tell you that what I was taught by my coaches about life has been way more important to me than anything they taught be about the game itself. I remember being an 11 year veteran in the Durham Police Dept. I was a very hard working guy who paid my dues and did things the right way. I scored 2nd out of over 75 on the written test. I scored 1st on the review board. They selected 8 for promotion and I was not one of them. I was told "We need some more minorities in these posistions and we went with some other people for other reasons."

I remember the very next night when I went to work. Everyone telling me how I got the shaft. Telling me they would do this and do that if they were me. I never said a word back. I got in my patrol car and I drove to a quiet dead end street. I could hear my coach saying "Suck it up. Life is not fair. You got a job to do and thats why your on this team. Its not about who gets the glory or who gets the press its about us , this team. If its about you then get the hel out of here and dont come back." So right then and there I decided that no matter what they did they were not going to control the kind of person I was. They were not going to determine how I did my job. They were not going to be the judge of my character and how I did my job. I was going to be that person and I was going to go out there everyday and do it the right way for the right reasons.

The next time around I got promoted. I was asked in the review board why did I feel I should be promoted. I said "I should have been promoted last time. But I was passed over for political reasons. But no matter what you do today its not going to stop me from doing what I believe is right and doing it the right way. I deserve to be promoted because I am the best person for the job. And thats not going to change regardless of what decision you make today."

So I say to hel with those that play politics. Your not going to stop me from playing this game as hard as I can. Your not going to steal my love of this game. Your not going to control me and stop me from doing what I know is right. And when its all said and done I will be able to look in the mirror and know I did it right and I fought and I was the best I could be. So play your games and kiss my a_s.
play baseball: I know where you are coming from and unfortunately so do many other parents. How awesome it would be to have coaches for our kids like the ones on here. Now that we've established that THESE coaches don't play politics, what advice do we give to the kids that are stuck in programs that do?

Again...don't put your whole baseball career in the hands of your HS coach. Get on travel teams and showcase teams and get the experience and exposure you need to be the best you can be. I've seen too many kids give up because they base their worth on what the HS coach thinks.

In the end, this doesn't have to be a bad situation if you use it for the life lessons. Overcoming adversity (aka politics) is a valuable lesson for the rest of their lives. Teach them not to dwell on the politics or even look for them. Stay away from the negative parents and players. Guide them toward programs outside HS in which they can excel and grow to their full potential. With all the showcase teams out there today, you don't need to depend on your high school experiences to play in college.

We didn't know this and though we almost got sucked into the negative parent group, we were able to look elsewhere for a more positive experience. But had we known to look outside of high school for opportunities, our son would have been on a much better timeline for exposure to colleges.
quote:
Originally posted by gotwood4sale:
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    "I'm telling ya GW, you gotta get yourself a can of the stuff and sit back and let all happen..."


We've been hearing how great this stuff is so a buddy and I set out Halloween night to get some. We went right to the source. They didn't want to hand any over so we tried to coax some from 'em!



And about those two holes in the ceiling? I swear there were clay pigeons flying around, but it turns out they were merely cup saucers.




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You guys drove all the way to Charlotte, NC? Isn't there a Waffle House closer to Chicago?
quote:
Originally posted by Coach_May:

So I say to hel with those that play politics. Your not going to stop me from playing this game as hard as I can. Your not going to steal my love of this game. Your not going to control me and stop me from doing what I know is right. And when its all said and done I will be able to look in the mirror and know I did it right and I fought and I was the best I could be. So play your games and kiss my a_s.


Coach, I couldn't agree with you more...

However, I'm sure you will still agree that young people (and sometimes their parents) have dificulty getting to this point in their thinking when faced with a difficult coach or other circumstance. Overcoming these difficult experiences becomes a skill learned through the struggles of our lives. Young people don't necessarily have the perspective and have to learn it just like you and I did...the hard way. There is no other way...

I know when I was young I did not always handle adversity as well as I could have (my wife says I still don't), but learned by these experiences to gain insight and perspective...

In fact, as difficult as it is to experience, it is necessary to go through what seems as an injustice, other wrong or failure, to grow and become a better person. It takes time for a person to learn how to grow stronger by adversity. Perspective and insight in my humble opinion, can be learned no other way...

This is one reason why baseball is so special...although a game, it mimicks the challenges of life in 9 innings...

I wish I could keep going but I have to go to St Louis now...Rant out!
Last edited by Coach Waltrip
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quote:
Originally posted by Coach_May: I can tell you that what I was taught by my coaches about life has been way more important to me than anything they taught be about the game itself. I remember being an 11 year veteran in the Durham Police Dept. I was a very hard working guy who paid my dues and did things the right way. I scored 2nd out of over 75 on the written test. I scored 1st on the review board. They selected 8 for promotion and I was not one of them. I was told "We need some more minorities in these posistions and we went with some other people for other reasons."

I remember the very next night when I went to work. Everyone telling me how I got the shaft. Telling me they would do this and do that if they were me. I never said a word back. I got in my patrol car and I drove to a quiet dead end street. I could hear my coach saying "Suck it up. Life is not fair. You got a job to do and thats why your on this team. Its not about who gets the glory or who gets the press its about us , this team. If its about you then get the hel out of here and dont come back." So right then and there I decided that no matter what they did they were not going to control the kind of person I was. They were not going to determine how I did my job. They were not going to be the judge of my character and how I did my job. I was going to be that person and I was going to go out there everyday and do it the right way for the right reasons.


This is a simply great story. Says it all.


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quote:
Originally posted by observer44:
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quote:
Originally posted by Coach_May: I can tell you that what I was taught by my coaches about life has been way more important to me than anything they taught be about the game itself. I remember being an 11 year veteran in the Durham Police Dept. I was a very hard working guy who paid my dues and did things the right way. I scored 2nd out of over 75 on the written test. I scored 1st on the review board. They selected 8 for promotion and I was not one of them. I was told "We need some more minorities in these posistions and we went with some other people for other reasons."

I remember the very next night when I went to work. Everyone telling me how I got the shaft. Telling me they would do this and do that if they were me. I never said a word back. I got in my patrol car and I drove to a quiet dead end street. I could hear my coach saying "Suck it up. Life is not fair. You got a job to do and thats why your on this team. Its not about who gets the glory or who gets the press its about us , this team. If its about you then get the hel out of here and dont come back." So right then and there I decided that no matter what they did they were not going to control the kind of person I was. They were not going to determine how I did my job. They were not going to be the judge of my character and how I did my job. I was going to be that person and I was going to go out there everyday and do it the right way for the right reasons.


This is a simply great story. Says it all.


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It doesn't get any better than this. Actual, real human drama.

How emotional this thread has become. It seems as if someone has been wronged by political forces beyond their control that these wounds can remain for a lifetime. The hurt is there and it is real. Somehow people have to figure out how to deal with it or better yet overcome it.

Similar to Coach May's account of how he reacted to his ultimate promotion, reminds of a scene from the classic movie "Shawshank Redemption" where Morgan Freeman's character answered the question of whether or not he had been rehabilitated. By the time they asked him the question, he no longer cared whether or not they agreed with his answer. All that mattered to him was whether or not he was comfortable with himself.
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In fact...take this and print it up and put it on the frig...

quote:
Originally posted by Coach_May:

"Suck it up. Life is not fair. You got a job to do and thats why your on this team. Its not about who gets the glory or who gets the press its about us , this team. If its about you then get the hel out of here and dont come back." So right then and there I decided that no matter what they did they were not going to control the kind of person I was. They were not going to determine how I did my job. They were not going to be the judge of my character and how I did my job. I was going to be that person and I was going to go out there everyday and do it the right way for the right reasons.

Your not going to stop me from playing this game as hard as I can. Your not going to steal my love of this game. Your not going to control me and stop me from doing what I know is right. And when its all said and done I will be able to look in the mirror and know I did it right and I fought and I was the best I could be.



...and have your son refer to it when things get tough and poliitcs get thick.

IMO the best things we can give our son's is an ability to stand for something regardless of situation. Not to be defined by, but rather to be bigger and better than situations or fools. That's called character and it is one of the rarest commodities out there and the one that will serve our son's long after baseball. While they are great, wins and success come and go, but character is for a lifetime.

Cool 44
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Last edited by observer44
quote:
Originally posted by Coach_May:

So right then and there I decided that no matter what they did they were not going to control the kind of person I was. They were not going to determine how I did my job. They were not going to be the judge of my character and how I did my job. I was going to be that person and I was going to go out there everyday and do it the right way for the right reasons.

and...

So I say to hel with those that play politics. Your not going to stop me from playing this game as hard as I can. Your not going to steal my love of this game. Your not going to control me and stop me from doing what I know is right. And when its all said and done I will be able to look in the mirror and know I did it right and I fought and I was the best I could be. So play your games and kiss my a_s.


That just about sums it up for me - and I know that I couldnt express it better if I tried a million times - Thanks Coach May!
Here is one for you. Son is sophomore on varsity team. He has played really competitive baseball last three summers on good teams in good tournaments across the southeast (East Cobb, Border Wars etc.) Last two seasons has batted at or near .500. He is a catcher primarily and bats from the left side. Competes with another boy on the team who is also a sophomore. This kid is a good pitcher. He also plays infield, but is not starting there. He also catches. The first playing of the season was three five inning games played on one day. My son was dh. The other kid was an extra hitter. Son goes 4 for 7 with three doubles. Other kid goes 0 for 7. Next week right before first game coach calls son outside and says you are not going to dh. The other kid does. Coach tells my son he is the number 2 catcher behind our senior. Tells him he might pinch hit. Later in the week our catcher is getting ready to pitch the next day and will not catch for two days. The other kid was put in to catch those two games. Several pass balls. The other kids dad is president of diamond club and has done much work to help coach. After the day son went 4 for seven, coach bragged to other coaches at school that he had found his DH. Something happened in that next week leading up to the first game. It is obvious. Parents have come to me wanting to know what is going on. Players know it. Son and I have talked about how there are bigger things in life like faith, family, working hard and doing the right thing. Son continues to work hard. He has sort of become the whipping boy for the coach. Yells at him and noone else. Coach and assistant say they are leaving after this year. However, same diamond club president.
eagle - I feel your pain.

I have said it before, I have no doubts politics exist at every level of the sport. You have no control over it so don't let it consume you like this. Worst case your son will shine this summer - he will not be harmed by this coach. I wouldn't discuss these things with the other parents and I certainly would not acknowledge them with my son.

For your son, encourage him. Let him know that the coach does not define his self-worth. Encourage him to be the best teammate on the team, always looking out for the welfare and well-being of the team. Take no joy when the other kid screws up. Cheer him on as if he were your own son. Attitude always, always, always overcomes. It always defeats politics. Remember that cartoon How the Grinch Stole Christmas? When the Grinch took away all the possessions in Whoville, the town was still grateful and joyous anyways. Instill that joy in your son and never let him see your disappointment. Don't let the Grinch defeat your spirit but let your attitude overcome.

I should add is one thing to be careful of is an entitlement attitude. Summertime performance entitles you to nothing. Sometimes, if the coach senses that, they will make an example in order to coach it out of him.
Last edited by ClevelandDad
ClevelendDad,
You make some very good points, and we have followed most of them. My wife and I are guilty of discussing this with son.That will stop.We are past the bitterness. It is just hard to handle sometimes, but you are correct in your analysis, and I thank you for your encouragement. Son works extremely hard on his game to the point of shoveling off snow in our cage to hit in the winter. His dream, like many other young men, is to play college ball. What is your opinion of accomplishing this without a great high school experience, but solid play in summer ball? Things sometimes have a way of working out in the end.
quote:
Originally posted by eagle88:
His dream, like many other young men, is to play college ball. What is your opinion of accomplishing this without a great high school experience, but solid play in summer ball? Things sometimes have a way of working out in the end.

My opinion is that he has already overcome and will see his dream come true as long as he does not allow others to control his positive attitude and love for the game. His summertime exposure will far exceed his spring exposure no matter how much he plays in the spring. The fact he plays in places like East Cobb and doing well will be his ticket to his dreams. This spring, build that joy in his heart knowing that "his" dream is alive and well and will continue this summer in spite of what happens this spring

For the kid whose Dad is pulling strings for him, unfortunately the father does not realize he is probably doing more harm than good by artificially removing competitive pressures. Thus, that other young man's dream may already be over.
Like Cleveland dad said - summer ball is the key. The tournaments your son is playing in will get him the exposure he needs for college opportunities. Politics... at our HS, principal's son get cut from his HS team(another local HS) and principal brings his kids over after our tryouts are done and over and puts him on our varsity HS team - no tryout - nothing. Kid played in a few of our games which needless to say - we ended up having to forfeit because he was an ineligible player. Yep. Politics. Everywhere. Be an overcomer and it sounds like you are! Best of luck and enjoy as it all is over far too soon.
Last edited by baseball_fever
Seeing some really bad things going on as far as politics go in my area. I think a dad I know posted here for advise and if that wasn't him then someone has an identical story, he was slammed here for his statements and pretty much told if his son was cut then he obviosuly wasn't good enough and that the coach cut at least the right parent, etc. Later the dad was riducled for being happy when his son was asked to play for a very good sumemr team in our area. If this is the same family I am thinking of, the kid does deserve to be on the high school team more so than many that are and is a GREAT kid, one of the best I've ever had the pleasure of speaking to. The parents have never said a word in the stands about their feelings but I am sure it is the same family. It has to be. This can't be happening this badly everywhere. Just odd how one poster is encouraged and the other is discouraged on basically the same topic.

I wish there was really something that could be done to eliminate this everywhere. It is getting worse and worse.
My son had some problems last year. He was a freshman who went from starting varsity to sitting on the freshman team. The best advice came from a personal friend who had played D1 baseball. Tell your sons that "The better player you are the less politics are involved. You have to play so well that they can't keep you out of the lineup." My son seemed to understand and accept this.
When focus on what you can not control you lose the ability to focus on what you can control. When you do this you end up proving to those that don't believe you can play they have made the right decision. When you focus on what you can control and stop worrying about what you can not control you are a much happier person.
In a perfect world the coaches would do what is best for the team and be fair to each and every player. There would be no nepotism and no favoritism. I agree that you have to let your child's talent and dedication speak for itself. That being said, what can be done when a coach is on a total power trip and thinks he's a demigod? Are high school coaches all powerful?
quote:
That being said, what can be done when a coach is on a total power trip and thinks he's a demigod? Are high school coaches all powerful?

baseballauntie - welcome to the hsbbweb!

I don't know if you read this entire thread but there are some good suggestions for your questions.

In my opinion, if the coach has it out for someone, there is not much they can do. I believe the player needs to try and be the best team player they can and bide their time until the summer. Many more games are played in the summer and almost all high school recruiting is either from summertime exposure or through showcases. You simply cannot control someone elses decision. The idea is to let that burden go and control the things you can like attitude, hustle, being the hardest worker, being a good teammate, etc. In essence be the bigger man than the coach.

They just started a thread called Heart, Hustle & Fundamentals and it is about Coach May's son. He was an elite level player in high school and is now fighting for playing time at the next level in college. Rather than letting the coach's decisions get him down, he is using his attitude to overcome it. That is the very best advice I can give.
thanks Clevelanddad-

I did read the thread and there are many good suggestions I passed along to my brother and my nephew.

It just gets frustrating dealing with all of the politics. I'm surprised that the coaches are just so arrogant. I guess its true that power corrupts.

You go to the meetings and they tell you to just quietly watch the game.....that is really funny??? Puhleeze...this is baseball, not tennis.
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My description of events is intentionally a bit cryptic. I don't want to hand out any ammo to those folks in our school district who have been enabling dishonest, corrupt, and bullying behavior in our district. And keep in mind that I am posting this while sitting in Cook County, Illinois. I follow politics. I recognize dishonesty, corruption, and bullying when I see it. And my eyes are wide open!

I am posting this to encourage other HSBBW members to face up to obviously unfair political situations. I agree fully with what Will said...
    "to some it is just an excuse. to some it is real and you have to fight through it. the key is knowing the difference."

If what is happening at your school or community is truly unfair and dishonest then stand up and fight. Why should dishonesty, corruption, and bullying be accepted? It shouldn't!

Get involved. Gather the troops. Be smart. Be honest. Be victorious! Don't tolerate what is wrong!



"control the things you can"
    I'm very pleased to report that we did just that at our high school CD!


"You go to the meetings"
    For years someone very high up in a department not academic would stand at the back of the room during school board meetings. At these public meetings, where input from the community is sought, if you dissented about anything academic or athletic the someone very high up would write down your name.

    Intimidating? Yes.

    Unethical? Yes.

    Is this behavior worth fighting against? You betcha!

"Politics???? Deal with it"
    We did.

"fight through it"
    We did.

"Cream rises to the top"
    Yes indeed! And heavy crud settles on the bottom!

    Our success? We now have a new superintendent. The dishonest one was booted by our newly elected school board. A decent and honest professional replaced him.

    Rumor has it the someone very high up has been told to leave at the end of the year. This person has been bullying this high school for decades...and now this person's reign of terror is over.

    Who benefited from this person's behavior? A select few.

    Who was harmed by this person's behavior? Nearly everyone else.



I say to members faced with a situation that is intolerable...
    You will know when it is worth a fight.

    Your enemy will try to intimidate and demoralize you.

    Consider all of that as high octane fuel.

    Tune up your car. Put on a new set of tires. Find the key. Put it into the ignition and turn it confidently. Shift into drive and floor it. Don't look back. You will quickly empty your tank of that high octane fuel...and you will coast across the finish line as the victor!

    Savor your victory...a victory that will be remembered and cherished by all others who follow!





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Last edited by gotwood4sale
gotwood4sale - that is a good example that there are those out there who can poison the well. In some cases, almost criminally so as you have reported. I have been consistent in this regard. I believe politics exist at every level of the sport and most endeavors in life for that matter. Unfortunately, people have to find a way to mentally overcome it because the troublemakers out there usually cannot be dealt with in a timely enough manner before a high school career has already passed someone by.

I believe in the corny stuff like cream rises to the top but that is only in general. Specifically, the cream may not rise fast enough to overcome an insurmountable obstacle that may be corrupt at its core.

What does someone do if the high school coach or other administrator does not allow the cream to rise? IMHO, they do not give up. They devise plan B that allows the cream to rise sometime down the road. Plan B is to find a summer team where they will play. Plan B is to find a venue where they can showcase their skills before college decision makers. Plan B is pay no more mind to the troublemakers and yes control those things you can control. Otherwise, the evil-ones will destroy you and your loved ones from the inside out and that is a victory that must be denied them.

I know that everyone wants Plan A and that is to play on the high school team and see their name in the local newspaper every now and then. Sometimes it is not in the cards. Doesn't mean that the cream cannot still rise. Plan B might not be the best pill to swallow but it can be adequate under the circumstances.

For those that refuse to be defeated (mentally, spritually), they can see Plan A come to life in college - after the cream has been given the proper chance to rise and after others whose politically-enhanced careers have long since ended. Forgive me for abusing this particular metaphor but it seems to be what we are all talking about here.
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I agree with what you're saying CD.

The victories that I described have taken our community probably ten years to achieve. Our oldest son started there in the fall of 2001 and our youngest daughter will finish in the spring of 2013. They are all athletes. The key to our success was getting a school board elected that honestly addressed all of these problems. That took a few election cycles to accomplish, but we did it.

And we got a lot of support from voters whose children have graduated. These voters remain taxpayers and were not happy with the situation when their children were attending school and they were still not happy with the situation until the recent string of victories. Now we're all happy...and the high school is on it's way to being a much better place!




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Last edited by gotwood4sale
quote:
Originally posted by wz8fvm:
My son had some problems last year. He was a freshman who went from starting varsity to sitting on the freshman team. The best advice came from a personal friend who had played D1 baseball. Tell your sons that "The better player you are the less politics are involved. You have to play so well that they can't keep you out of the lineup." My son seemed to understand and accept this.


Performance is often the greatest equilizer of politics and perceptions......

ESPECIALLY in programs of a level where the coach tends to lose his job if he does not win....(HS, college)...
I guess my "cream rises to the top" comment was not well received. Are there politics? No doubt. But i would not tell my kid about the politics and get him all hung up over things he cannot control. If you read the original post, this is a freshmen. Let's let him get his feet wet before we cry foul play over politics. If he is truly throwing in the eighties with three other solid pitches as a lefty, he is not going to get overlooked for some mid seventies, 1 pitch, right handed thrower.

If the politics are that profound, I would raise the question in private, in the off season. I would suspect that there would be many other parents willing to fight with you if the problem is that bad. JMO.
thank you for the help guys. I appreciate the constructive criticism and suggestions. I can tell you live in the real world and have dealt well with the good and the bad.

As for the negative people....I'm sure there's a reason you are the way you are.

We have always told our kids its all about their performance and what they bring to the game. We don't tell a coach how to do his job. I hate parents that are always whining to the coach about their kids. We do not do that.

We have told the kids to ask the coach what they are doing (or not doing)and how can they improve? I believe if the coach is worth his salt he will be approachable.
quote:
That being said, what can be done when a coach is on a total power trip and thinks he's a demigod? Are high school coaches all powerful?
The player and the parents learn to deal with it and move on. My son was told not to go to his pitching coach during the season. I figured he could do his off day bullpen with his pitching coach since the head coach doesn't have a plan for pitchers. My son obeys the rules for fear of consequences or having to lie to protect himself.
This thread has been very interesting for me to read as my son is involved with "political" issues on his HS team this season. He is a hard worker with some talent, and has a very good travel team that will provide a ton of great summer baseball, so we are not truly desperate about the poor high school experience and have tried to be generally positive as suggested by so many posters. But there is no denying that favoritism and plain bad coaching decisions undermine team morale and make the entire experience a drain of valuable time as well as a loss of an opportunity and fun. As a parent, one cannot assume that hard work and ability will be rewarded but rather one must work hard to diversify the opportunities your child has so that you cannot be entirely held hostage by any one coach.
Once you ignore the politics in HS ball, life becomes more enjoyable. My son's goal is to stay healthy to do well this summer on his showcase team. If he can help out his HS, then great, if they choose to play politics, that is fine too. He is focused on his summer season and personally I prefer if he stays healthy and not risk his chances of playing this summer. His summer coach has told all the players to remember that HS ball has nothing to do with Showcases. It has been a very enjoyable season, son is happy and so are we. Once you put it into perspective, there is no reason to get rattled by the politics.
quote:
Originally posted by greenmonstah:
Once you ignore the politics in HS ball, life becomes more enjoyable. My son's goal is to stay healthy to do well this summer on his showcase team. If he can help out his HS, then great, if they choose to play politics, that is fine too. He is focused on his summer season and personally I prefer if he stays healthy and not risk his chances of playing this summer. His summer coach has told all the players to remember that HS ball has nothing to do with Showcases. It has been a very enjoyable season, son is happy and so are we. Once you put it into perspective, there is no reason to get rattled by the politics.


Well Said
Several team moms are trying to collect money for coaches' gifts. The responses have been interesting. One person offered to buy a book, "Coaching 101", but no money. Another said "Absolutely Not!" Another asked if they had "earned" it, another if they "deserved" it.

While I do feel politics/favoritism have hurt the team, I also acknowledge that there wouldn't be a team if these guys hadn't essentially volunteered. I have tried to focus on that, and the fact that my son continues to work hard, and in many ways, is more prepared for the next level, than the guys currently standing on the pedestal.

I have to admit, I have only achieved limited success in ignoring it. :-) However, I am able to work around it.
quote:
Originally posted by 55mom:
Several team moms are trying to collect money for coaches' gifts. The responses have been interesting. One person offered to buy a book, "Coaching 101", but no money. Another said "Absolutely Not!" Another asked if they had "earned" it, another if they "deserved" it.

While I do feel politics/favoritism have hurt the team, I also acknowledge that there wouldn't be a team if these guys hadn't essentially volunteered. I have tried to focus on that, and the fact that my son continues to work hard, and in many ways, is more prepared for the next level, than the guys currently standing on the pedestal.

I have to admit, I have only achieved limited success in ignoring it. :-) However, I am able to work around it.


High school coaches are paid, not volunteers. I cringed everytime these team moms came around with their hand out for donations for a gift. They get paid well for their regular teaching job and the extra loot they get paid to coach. I just don't get why they find this necessary.
Last edited by zombywoof
quote:
Originally posted by zombywoof:
quote:
Originally posted by 55mom:
Several team moms are trying to collect money for coaches' gifts. The responses have been interesting. One person offered to buy a book, "Coaching 101", but no money. Another said "Absolutely Not!" Another asked if they had "earned" it, another if they "deserved" it.

While I do feel politics/favoritism have hurt the team, I also acknowledge that there wouldn't be a team if these guys hadn't essentially volunteered. I have tried to focus on that, and the fact that my son continues to work hard, and in many ways, is more prepared for the next level, than the guys currently standing on the pedestal.

I have to admit, I have only achieved limited success in ignoring it. :-) However, I am able to work around it.


High school coaches are paid, not volunteers. I cringed everytime these team moms came around with their hand out for donations for a gift. They get paid well for their regular teaching job and the extra loot they get paid to coach. I just don't get why they find this necessary.
The moms have been doing it since LL. It's their way of injecting themselves into the process. Some think it's helping their son's chances of playing. In some cases it may be true. I donate to the program through buying an ad in the program no one reads. I won't donate for a coach's gift.
Last edited by RJM
quote:
Originally posted by zombywoof:
quote:
Originally posted by 55mom:
Several team moms are trying to collect money for coaches' gifts. The responses have been interesting. One person offered to buy a book, "Coaching 101", but no money. Another said "Absolutely Not!" Another asked if they had "earned" it, another if they "deserved" it.

While I do feel politics/favoritism have hurt the team, I also acknowledge that there wouldn't be a team if these guys hadn't essentially volunteered. I have tried to focus on that, and the fact that my son continues to work hard, and in many ways, is more prepared for the next level, than the guys currently standing on the pedestal.

I have to admit, I have only achieved limited success in ignoring it. :-) However, I am able to work around it.


High school coaches are paid, not volunteers. I cringed everytime these team moms came around with their hand out for donations for a gift. They get paid well for their regular teaching job and the extra loot they get paid to coach. I just don't get why they find this necessary.


I don't how much they are paid in NJ, but it comes down to cents/hour in NC, especially for baseball. (Things are different down here!) :-) That is why I said "essentially". We have 2 HCs and 2 volunteer assistants. So I think a few extra dollars - the volunteers come straight from work so use their own gas for away games - is fine.

In fact, one county just voted to cut that extra "pay". I may have some issues, but the coach does work hard on having a nice field in addition to time with the team.
quote:
Originally posted by RJM:
quote:
Originally posted by zombywoof:
quote:
Originally posted by 55mom:
Several team moms are trying to collect money for coaches' gifts. The responses have been interesting. One person offered to buy a book, "Coaching 101", but no money. Another said "Absolutely Not!" Another asked if they had "earned" it, another if they "deserved" it.

While I do feel politics/favoritism have hurt the team, I also acknowledge that there wouldn't be a team if these guys hadn't essentially volunteered. I have tried to focus on that, and the fact that my son continues to work hard, and in many ways, is more prepared for the next level, than the guys currently standing on the pedestal.

I have to admit, I have only achieved limited success in ignoring it. :-) However, I am able to work around it.


High school coaches are paid, not volunteers. I cringed everytime these team moms came around with their hand out for donations for a gift. They get paid well for their regular teaching job and the extra loot they get paid to coach. I just don't get why they find this necessary.
The moms have been doing it since LL. It's their way of injecting themselves into the process. Some think it's helping their son's chances of playing. In some cases it may be true. I donate to the program through buying an ad in the program no one reads. I won't donate for a coach's gift.


excuse me? That is rude and sexist. And don't get on yer high horse - it's a blanket statement applied in a thoughtless way.

cripes
quote:
Originally posted by 55mom:
quote:
Originally posted by RJM:
quote:
Originally posted by zombywoof:
quote:
Originally posted by 55mom:
Several team moms are trying to collect money for coaches' gifts. The responses have been interesting. One person offered to buy a book, "Coaching 101", but no money. Another said "Absolutely Not!" Another asked if they had "earned" it, another if they "deserved" it.

While I do feel politics/favoritism have hurt the team, I also acknowledge that there wouldn't be a team if these guys hadn't essentially volunteered. I have tried to focus on that, and the fact that my son continues to work hard, and in many ways, is more prepared for the next level, than the guys currently standing on the pedestal.

I have to admit, I have only achieved limited success in ignoring it. :-) However, I am able to work around it.


High school coaches are paid, not volunteers. I cringed everytime these team moms came around with their hand out for donations for a gift. They get paid well for their regular teaching job and the extra loot they get paid to coach. I just don't get why they find this necessary.
The moms have been doing it since LL. It's their way of injecting themselves into the process. Some think it's helping their son's chances of playing. In some cases it may be true. I donate to the program through buying an ad in the program no one reads. I won't donate for a coach's gift.


excuse me? That is rude and sexist. And don't get on yer high horse - it's a blanket statement applied in a thoughtless way.

cripes
I'm stating what I've seen repeatedly since kiddie ball sports. If you don't like the truth so be it. Sometimes the truth isn't pretty. But it's still the truth. I've seen mothers attempt to get to the coaches in middle and high school with the same routine. I've seen mothers politic in middle and high school to be team mom when there isn't a team mom. I've seen mothers act like team mom when there isn't one. I've seen some become indignant when doing something for the team didn't help their son. I've never seen a dad say, "Let's raise some money for a gift for the coach." This doesn't mean there aren't dads conniving and politicking for their sons from different angles.

When I coached kiddie ball sports through pre high school sports I told the parents in the preseason meeting coaches don't need gifts because we coach for the love of the game and we don't need a team parent. It took politics out of the picture right from the start.

I remember when our school district redrew the elementary school boundaries due to growth and a new school. Two years later at the elementary school graduation the principal commented how well the kids handled change and how nice it would have been had the parents been able to do the same. The squabbling over power for home room mom and PTA spots after the lines were redrawn was ridiculous. At school events there were mothers who wouldn't talk to each other while attemptoing to run a school function. Just the truth.
Last edited by RJM
quote:
Originally posted by zombywoof:
High school coaches are paid, not volunteers. I cringed everytime these team moms came around with their hand out for donations for a gift. They get paid well for their regular teaching job and the extra loot they get paid to coach. I just don't get why they find this necessary.


I believe most high school coaches don't want the gifts - I know I don't. It's too awkward because it's usually done at some postseason banquet or cookout. Some busy body gets up in front of everyone and makes some speech about how great we are and then hands us something. But it just feels like everyone is looking at the two of us standing there watching the parent s uc k up to us. Maybe they are and maybe they aren't but it sure does look like it.

Also, the volunteer coaches are the ones who deserve something. To give up what they give up to coach for free is truly amazing. But how do you give it to them without making it look like someone is suckinp.

Not sure about where you are but in the two states I've taught the pay is ridiculos from teaching and coaching. For example - the school I'm at now I am asst. baseball, asst. football and have a masters degree. I'm probably going to have to get a job in the summer just pay my bills. I'm not living above my means either. How sad is it when someone who is highly educated, gets oustanding reports on observations and coaches two sports can't make ends meet?
quote:
Originally posted by 55mom:
excuse me? That is rude and sexist. And don't get on yer high horse - it's a blanket statement applied in a thoughtless way.

cripes


It's not rude. It's the way it is. Been there done that. As for the sexist thing. That's your issue, not mine. I too have never had dads come up to parents and ask for handouts for a coach since LL days. Yes, dads have their angle too. It's all for posturing and to get HS Johnny a better shot at varsity and playing time. Go see if that same mom who's HS Jonny sophomore is expecting to start on varsity the following season but winds up on JV instead. Go see if she's rushing around the next season to collect loot for the same HC who cut him down to JV.

The money from the parents should be spent in the booster club where it's parents only raising money for the team to purchase the extras the school budgets won't cover like pre-game meals on game days after school, equipment, warmup gear etc and the only involvement the HC should have is to make sure everything is ok and certain fundraisers involving his players may need some input.
Last edited by zombywoof
55mom and RJM,
I don't know how much a Head baseball coach in your areas make, but, I do know what they used to get in our area which was $2200. per season which at 18 to 20 weeks of practice and play which works out to $110. to 120. per week which at a mininmum of 4 hours a day 6 days a week thats about $5.00 per hour give or take. They can make more than that a McDonalds.

I agree with coach 2709, Most coaches don't want gifts, but they do enjoy getting a plaque with a team picture on it. Yes, it is a gift of sorts, but, is usually given by the team leaders, not by a parent or group of parents.
quote:
I agree with coach 2709, Most coaches don't want gifts, but they do enjoy getting a plaque with a team picture on it. Yes, it is a gift of sorts, but, is usually given by the team leaders, not by a parent or group of parents.


That's reasonable. If this is something the players want to do and present it, then by all means, do it. Let it be from the players. It will mean a whole lot more if comes from them.
Last edited by zombywoof
At our post season banquet each year the booster club has presented the coaches with gift certificates to a resturant or a round of golf. It has never been an issue and is taken as it is meant, to show our appreciation for all the time they put in with our kids. The coaches won't take Joe Torres job anytime soon but they do the best they can and they try to do the right things for the kids. That's about all I can ask for.

In the four years junior has been playing at the high shcool I have never witnessed any politics or bad feelings parents might have towards each other or any of the kids. I know some parents wish their son would have played more but I haven't seen any parent to parent pettiness. I guess I've been lucky to have been around realitively sane parents all these years.

Games are always pleasant with everyone cheering for the team and individual kids.
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    "Not sure about where you are but in the two states I've taught the pay is ridiculous from teaching and coaching."

Move to the Chicago area coach. Here's an example for you.

Superintendent of one of our school districts in our little suburban village. The details ...
    One junior high school with an enrollment of 400.
    Four small elementary schools with a total enrollment of 1100.
    Total enrollment for entire district is 1500.
    Annual salary, not including his generous benefits, will be $313,000/year when he retires in 2013 at age 58.
    He will receive 80% of his average annual salary based on the last four years of service. A pension probably somewhere close to $250,000/year.

At age 58 he can still seek another job...and end up with a pension from that job as well. An effort (letter writing campaign) was made to have our school board rescind this outrageous agreement. This effort was not led by an "angry Tea Party" type. Quite the contrary. The school board, knowing full well what a mess the economy is in, would not budge.

Everyone is wondering if any of those school board members will be stubborn and stupid enough to run for reelection. We hope they run again. How sweet it will be to pull the lever against them and send them swirling away!



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Last edited by gotwood4sale
Woody that is ridiculous and insane for someone to get that kind of deal. You know I'm not looking to get rich off teaching because I know it will never be seen as that important. Vast majority of times when people find out I teach (who are not teachers) they try to be nice but it's obvious they look down on me because of my chosen field of vocation.

Don't expect to be rich but would like to at least live comfortably and not worry about which bill I can during the month so I won't overdraft my bank account.
quote:
In the four years junior has been playing at the high school I have never witnessed any politics or bad feelings parents might have towards each other or any of the kids.
We have three youth baseball programs feeding one high school. Some of the parents haven't gotten over there's only one #1 pitcher, shortstop, etc.. I'm happy my son is in the starting lineup. He doesn't care what position he plays as long as he's playing. Our attitude came from him competing for positions on travel teams. Others don't feel the same way.
Last edited by RJM
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You're a good man coach...and a good teacher, and a good coach as well. I know this. I also know that your students, teams, and community are very well served by you.

If some can not respect you and your contributions then that is sad...and that is their loss.

You've got my respect coach. My kids, I'm positively sure, would love to have you as both a teacher and coach.

Do you need directions to the Chicago area?




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Last edited by gotwood4sale
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We have probably a hundred or so teachers at our high school with an enrollment under 1500 students. The average salary is around $86,000/year. Several teachers are paid in excess of $120,000 each year.
Given these tough economic times something, in our high school district, will have to give. I'm guessing it won't be the taxpayers. Not this time.



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Last edited by gotwood4sale
Gotwood and RJM,

Wow, my wife has been a teacher for 30+ years and makes 73K with all the extra degrees and 120 units+. No new contracts or raises in the next 3 years.

Last I heard the most in our area for Sups. was $260,000 and we thought that was high.

Whoever said all the golds in California. Do they have commuter flights from Cal. to your areas?
quote:
Originally posted by gotwood4sale:
.

You're a good man coach...and a good teacher, and a good coach as well. I know this. I also know that your students, teams, and community are very well served by you.

If some can not respect you and your contributions then that is sad...and that is their loss.

You've got my respect coach. My kids, I'm positively sure, would love to have you as both a teacher and coach.

Do you need directions to the Chicago area?




.


Thanks for the kind words Woody - I really do appreciate them.

I love the Chicago area and have been a Cubs fan for well over 20 years. I was up there a few years ago to take in a couple of games at Wrigley and the Sox field. I can't explain how awesome it was to be in Chicago. Only problem is I absolutely hate the cold weather.
Anyone who would look down on a good teacher is a fool! Teaching is one of the most important jobs in the world. A real opportunity to make a difference in a young persons life.

Problem is... We need more good teachers and coaches rather than those who just show up, collect a pay check and don't really care about their students or athletes.
My wife the school teacher earns something like $36,000/year. She has two master's degrees and is certified for gifted education. Though she doesn't coach, I think the typical stipend per sport in our area is around $2,000-2,500 max.

Guess we should've set up shop in Chicago?

Na, not worth it. Too cold and windy for me!

Though maybe we could hack it there for just a few years prior to retirement ....
Calling all REALLY GOOD COACHES! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!!!

As the woodman said, at the last school board meeting, the SB voted to remove the current AD. We are looking for a REALLY GOOD ATHLETIC DIRECTOR! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

The job, posted, is for .60 FTE. The current AD, at 60% made $83,000. BUT WAIT! There's more!

I recently acquired the stipend list from the interim (it's a long and obscene story) superintendent by way of the guy who is leading the charge to "take back" our school from the thugs (think Crook County, the State of Illinois, "the Chicago Way", and the current occupants of the WH.....

The Head Coach for each sport makes $7,940. The assistant coaches make $6,200. Let's review. The baseball/softball season goes from March 1 through the 3rd week in May. 12 weeks? That's it. And most of them aren't good, they are "friends of" the AD.

In April 2008 (when the economic troubles had reared it's ugly head), the old school board offered the teachers a guaranteed 5 percent per year for FIVE YEARS. A 25% increase. Crazy.

Oh, we have one "teacher" who is the chairman of the two Language departments (English and foreign) teaches ONE CLASS and makes $160,000.

All of you REALLY GOOD COACHES AND TEACHERS! PLEASE COME TO MY SCHOOL! WE NEED YOU!!!!! I'M NOT KIDDING!!!!!!

Oh, I should add the weather is Chicago is always perfect. Sunny, warm, delightful.
Last edited by play baseball
quote:
How sad is it when someone who is highly educated, gets oustanding reports on observations and coaches two sports can't make ends meet?


It's not just teachers. It's many professions and depending where you live, people are getting taxed out and it don't matter what you do for a living unless you're loaded. This is not a problem limited to teachers even though they want the public to believe it is. We know better. Teachers got a good gig and great bennies. Better than those in the private sector. Now he game's up and the voters are waking up. Not that it will matter much because the school districts will go back to the municipalities and will get their budgets approved anyway and the teachers will get thoese raises they should be freezing so they can save teaching jobs and keep quality education for the kids.

However, for real reform, politicians need to grow a set and go after the fat cat administrators with their rididculous 6-figure salaries, golden parachuets, accrued unused sick time which is a joke raping the pension system and bringing in their relatives for high paying bogus positions. This is where real reform will occur.
Last edited by zombywoof
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I agree with you zombywoof...we're all in this mess together and we need all of us pulling together to get out of it. Problems should be honestly identified and honest efforts should be put forth to correct them. We owe this to future generations. Simple really.

And RJM...where did you get that picture? It sure looks like an early evening snapshot of Chicago Harbor following our June Dairy Month Motorboat Regatta.

It's really amazing what 10,000 cartons of this...




along with 50 of these...



can do to a small freshwater harbor!





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Last edited by gotwood4sale
If a person is coaching hs sports for the money then the chances are pretty good your not going to have a very good coach. The coaches I know that are good at what they do would do it for free. The fact is many of us lose money after it is all said and done by coaching. The last year I was a HC I got 3,500. If you want to maintain your field at a high level "like most good coaches do" many times you have to have things that the school simply will not pay for. If you want enough baseballs and other things like T's , batting cages , nets , L screens , etc etc the school is not going to pony up. We get 5,000 a year to run the baseball program. That includes paying the umpires , gate keepers , baseballs to practice with and game balls , etc etc.

We do have a dugout club to help us out. And we do have a concession stand as well. If a coach only runs his program from the start of the hs season to the end of the hs season the pay is probably not too bad. If you do it the right way and run your program year round what are you really getting paid as far as a salary goes? So the fact is the good ones are way underpaid as far as dollars go. And the not so good ones are fairly compensated as far as dollars go. If your doing it right and doing it for the right reasons your pay comes in other ways. And that can not have a price tag put on it.

All summer / fall and through the winter spending countless hours working on the field , strength agility and conditioning training , working with young men on the game - you are not paid in dollars. You get out of it what you put in it and so do the players. If you are doing it for the right reasons and doing it the right way you will never be paid in dollars an amount that is fair. And if that bothers you you are in it for the wrong reasons to start with imo.

You build a program by working 12 months out of the year just like players become players by working at the game 12 months out of the year. You do it not because your going to get paid to do it in dollars but because you love the game and those that play it. The ones that do it for the check are easy to spot. And they are over paid many times. jmho
First of all, to make an assumption that all "team Moms" - something I've never been, have an ulterior motive, is an insult to all the moms who do this for the team. I suppose I could say that all daddys that coach their sons/daughters have an ulterior motive as well. There are plenty of people who do these things for the right reasons.

Coach May pretty much describes what our coach does. Field work is year around, summer ball, 8 man work outs etc. He does a lot. Giving him a small gift is not outrageous. Maybe it's a Southern thing? Last year it was less than $100 for each of 3 coaches.

As to why I volunteer - sold programs, concessions, I guess everyone else is too busy being PC, it wouldn't get done. As to this busy somebody, yes, I got stuck with handing the cards out last year. I placed them at their place at the table. I didn't say a word.

My son plays regardless. We have been pleased with what he has done and is doing. Like I said, there have been a few team issues, but nothing personal towards my son.
55mom I would love to have more parents like you. There is nothing wrong imo but everything right about parents wanting to help the program and the kids that play. You only get to do this one time and allowing the parents to be a part of it is the right thing to do imo. Yes there will always be parents that have ulterior motives. But that shouldnt stop the ones that dont from getting the chance to help the kids and the program. The coach has to have character and the ability to not allow anything that goes out outside the lines to have anything to do with goes on inside the lines.

Many Moms have cooked me pies , cakes and brought us stuff to eat after games. I appreciate the heck out of it. And from my experience and this is only mine , the Dads are way more likely to try and play games than the moms.
Thanks for the compliment coach - I appreciate it.

I agree that there are several moms who help because it's the right thing to do and it has to be done. What I've found over the years is that typically parents fall into one of three categories

1. Small group who will do anything that needs to be done because they just want to help out. They have no ulterior motives although it may look that way. Without these people programs will really struggle.

2. Small group who will do volunteer themselves to do things or come up with things on their own to do. Whole purpose is to look good and get some special favors for their sons. This group will turn on a coach at the drop of a hat if they feel their son is being "cheated"

3. Largest group are the ones who will help out when asked. They don't step up and volunteer much but if you ask them to do something they jump right up and do it.

If you think you can run a program without parents being involved you are in for a lot of work that will never get done. Like coach said you welcome them with open arms but lay down the rules as what the roles are for each person who helps out. Set specific limits as to what they can or cannot do. If they want to follow the rules then things are great. If they don't want to follow the rules then do what needs to be done.

A successful program is made up of players, coaches AND parents. Besides it's their kids - how can you expect to keep them from being a part of their baseball life?
Good post coach. I have always believed I was the lucky guy for getting a chance to be a part of their baseball life. I talk to parents and tell them I have been through this twice with 2 sons. I know how they are feeling.

"I am going to borrow your kids for the next four years for a few hours a day. I am going to treat them just like they are my own because in my eyes they are. I am going to work for them just like they are mine. I am going to demand from them just like I demand from my own kids. I will never expect anything from them that I have not already given to this program and Im still giving. So if you allow me to do this I will. If you want to be a part of this I want you to. And I think its important for your son to know you are there for him and this program and ALL the players. I will handle what goes on in the dugout and on the field. And you are more than welcome to help me and the other coaches anyway you can. And if you can not no problem. Because nothing anyone does that does not wear a uniform on this team will ever have anything to do with what goes on on that field."

Some of my very best friends are former players parents. And I have many kids out there still playing the game. Many kids out there in the military. Many kids out there working jobs and raising families. And I am equally proud of every one of them. Do not let parents that you know are doing things for the program and trying to manipulate the situation for their kid stop you from enjoying your sons hs experience. If you want to help and be a part of it for the right reasons - do it. Its no different than going to church and putting your focus on the people that you know are fakes and phony people. YOU end up not getting the real message your there for and enjoying what you are doing and end up spending your time POed at the other people. JMHO
quote:
Originally posted by Coach_May:
Good post coach. I have always believed I was the lucky guy for getting a chance to be a part of their baseball life. I talk to parents and tell them I have been through this twice with 2 sons. I know how they are feeling.

"I am going to borrow your kids for the next four years for a few hours a day. I am going to treat them just like they are my own because in my eyes they are. I am going to work for them just like they are mine. I am going to demand from them just like I demand from my own kids. I will never expect anything from them that I have not already given to this program and Im still giving. So if you allow me to do this I will. If you want to be a part of this I want you to. And I think its important for your son to know you are there for him and this program and ALL the players. I will handle what goes on in the dugout and on the field. And you are more than welcome to help me and the other coaches anyway you can. And if you can not no problem. Because nothing anyone does that does not wear a uniform on this team will ever have anything to do with what goes on on that field."

Some of my very best friends are former players parents. And I have many kids out there still playing the game. Many kids out there in the military. Many kids out there working jobs and raising families. And I am equally proud of every one of them. Do not let parents that you know are doing things for the program and trying to manipulate the situation for their kid stop you from enjoying your sons hs experience. If you want to help and be a part of it for the right reasons - do it. Its no different than going to church and putting your focus on the people that you know are fakes and phony people. YOU end up not getting the real message your there for and enjoying what you are doing and end up spending your time POed at the other people. JMHO



Wisdom Is something I can recognize, I see it here, the challenge is practicing it all the time.

The above is playing as we speak in our program.

Fortunately, I have a head coach like Coach May.
And I have confidence on the correct outcomes. because of it.
Coach May, I have to tell you this. I posted it somewhere else, but...

I THOUGHT polictics were being played on our team this year. Partly because of the articles being published in the local newspaper. I just couldn't BELIEVE our coach would submit what was being printed. So finally, (being the scorekeeper and thinking I had some sort of right to question the sportswriter) I called the newspaper and asked where he was getting his info. You know what he responded? "From your website." The website that I - yes I - was hosting. After every game I'd give a play by play on the website. It wasn't intended as a stats thing, but that's what he was using to report from.

Brother, I haven't eaten a meal in 3 days, still full from the crow! And I won't be posting any more play-by-plays, just box scores.

I told the head coach this and he laughed and said he was wondering the same thing! And so were a lot of other people, I'm sure.

Be careful what you accuse people of. The Lord may decide you need a lesson in humility Smile
Last edited by gamedayrocks
"I am going to borrow your kids for the next four years for a few hours a day. I am going to treat them just like they are my own because in my eyes they are. I am going to work for them just like they are mine. I am going to demand from them just like I demand from my own kids. I will never expect anything from them that I have not already given to this program and Im still giving. So if you allow me to do this I will. If you want to be a part of this I want you to. And I think its important for your son to know you are there for him and this program and ALL the players. I will handle what goes on in the dugout and on the field. And you are more than welcome to help me and the other coaches anyway you can. And if you can not no problem. Because nothing anyone does that does not wear a uniform on this team will ever have anything to do with what goes on on that field."

Beautiful sentiment. It is everything that is right about HS baseball. The only problem is that it is very rare.

For every Coach May, you get 1000 political, lazy, clueless, idiot coaches.

Coach May is the 1 out of 1000. Unfortunatley, we only have 565 or so coaches in AZ. Pretty bad odds.
quote:
Originally posted by Doughnutman:
For every Coach May, you get 1000 political, lazy, clueless, idiot coaches.


I'm sure Doughnutman used the 1000:1 as an "eye-opener" but IMO the vast majority of coaches do their job, some "go-beyond", and a few don't carry the weight. Those who "don't" stick out and carry a bad name for the whole bunch. It's kind of dis-heartening to hear post after post of parents/players who at times state the case with a personal touch and the then "dog pile" begins. All of a sudden the situation becomes ingrained in everyone's mind and they look for the same faults regardless of the degree from every coach. Not every coach has the make-up to be great, but you don't see a line forming to replace them.

The way I look at it, all through life we deal with different personalities, some we like, some we don't. While some situations may be disgusting in our minds I would rather look at them as a kids opportunities to make a bad situation good and leave it at that. These coaching relationships are but a sliver in the big life picture but sometimes I feel that we are more critical of them and give others as worthy a pass.

JMO
Last edited by rz1
The only thing is his number great coaches 1- 1000. Probably more like 1-100. I in fifty being really good, 1 on 15 being good, and 1 of 2, passable.

Baseball a game of statistics this is just another one, part of the reality they face trying to play ball.

The odds of being a great baseball coach are pretty low, kinda like being a Great baseball player, it just a hard thing to achieve.
Last edited by showme
quote:
Originally posted by showme:
The only thing is his number great coaches 1- 1000. Probably more like 1-100. I in fifty being really good, 1 on 15 being good, and 1 of 2, passable.

While we are all entitled to our opinions, even I had one once, I don't think any of us are in a position to make a baseball wide assumptions of categorizing coaches. Besides the criteria of what makes a "good coach" is in the eye of a beholder, our personal knowledge is usually based purely on our local knowledge and personal experiences from behind a fence.
Last edited by rz1
I am willing to give Doughnutman the benefit of the doubt on this one and guessing he was just venting because of his personal frustrations with his son's coach. I'll go out on a limb and guess that Doughnutman does not even know 1000 coaches let alone what the statistics may be on the number of good ones there are per thousand.
The only thing we have to go on - our own experiences - what we have been told - what we have seen - what we percieve.

There are a lot of good coaches. There are some not so good ones. And there are some clowns.

But the only thing that matters to the parent are the ones their sons have played for and do play for. If those experiences have been bad then that is what they know.

Rise above a tough situation. And take advantage of a good one.
Along the lines of what Coach M said - if you play the game for awhile - you will wind up playing for some great coaches - some OK coaches and some morons.

Just the way goes - sort of like working in the real world.

Whichever one you have at the time shouldnt change your approach to the game.

Work real hard and play real hard whenever you get the chance. Regardless of who your coach is or isnt.
I believe there are more good high school coaches than bad coaches. A good high school coach has a reasonable understanding of the game, treats the players as they deserve to be treated and doesn't let politics invade the process.

An exception high school coach has a deep understanding of the game, isn't intimidated by outside forces like travel ball and private instructors and will do what it takes to help a player get to the next level. These coaches are probably about 1 in 25.
Last edited by RJM
IMO if you ask a parent why he/she considers their HS coach bad, most of the honest answers would have to do with playing time or which team he made. I don't think the answer would be over "x's and O's".

In our area, in public schools, all of the coaches are teachers who might have played in HS. All we can ask is that they make honest decisions on players and treat the kids like RJM says above.
quote:
Originally posted by peskynats:
I'm absolutely disgusted with our HS coach and I can't for the season to be over. My son is handling it well, but I know deep down that he can't wait for college ball to start. This is a first year coach, who replaced another terrible coach. The previous terrible coach was not good at Xs and Os. The new terrible coach is also not good at Xs and Os as well as plays his own awful son at a key infield position. Many players have left the team because the coach hasn't given them a fair shake. The coaches son leads the team in errors (by far) and bragging throughout the school. I'm waiting for somebody to kick his *ss, but we'll have to wait for the end of the baseball season for that to happen. I have no idea where the Athletic Director is in all of this.

I thought this coach was going to really change things for the better, but I'm just left with bitter disappointment. Daddy ball at the high school level leads to POLITICS and a lot of questions. I'm looking forward to the end and closing this chapter on High School baseball. The end can't come quick enough!

pesky - welcome to the hsbbweb. I wouldn't be encouraging any as*-kickings as that could lead to someone getting seriously injured/maimed/killed and someone else going to prison. Just a few years ago, a single punch was thrown between teammates at Charleston Southern - a religious school, that wound up in death and another going to prison.

As far as politics goes, it exists at all levels of baseball imho including college and pros. There are college players all over this country who are starting day 1 as frehmen whose Dad's are the head coaches for their respective programs. Some programs have high-profile names, high profile connections, and/or multi-million dollar doners whose kids are getting looks over others who perhaps may be more deserving. Your son needs to learn how to ignore what he cannot control and focus on those things he can. If he cannot, his college career could be a short one imho.
ClevelandDad,

Thanks, I'm a long time HSBaseball Web lurker. I'm absolutely not advocating violence, however I noticed a resentment towards the coaches' son that has escalated since the beginning of the year when it was clear he was not at a Varsity level. Based upon some things he has allegedly said, I wouldn't be surprised if someone "pops" him, and soon.

Yes, I've seen politics at LL, HS, Travel, Elite Travel, and I expect to see it at College too. My son could care less what happens over the next 3-4 weeks in High School. I respect him for sticking around as others have decided it is not worth their time. He blames the coach for not putting the best possible team on the field. He and a couple others play hard 100% despite their coach. These kids are the true grownups IMO for this situation. I'm having a tougher time with this POLITICS than he is, because I was expecting more from the coach during my son's senior year. He is only a senior once. My son is a mentally tough and talented kid, and I think he has already moved into "college baseball mode" where he will be prepared for even more challenges. He is not going to let this HS coach distract him from his goals.
Last edited by peskynats
wow...you guys and gals are so entertaining. Its amazing the different aspects of games being played other than the one on the field.

I do have a little question. It seems that our coaches are teaching "small ball" when it comes to batting. I'm hearing parents of really talented batters saying that they've paid thousands for batting coaches over the years and they're boys are taught to smack the ball out of the park and now the high school coaches are telling the boys they need to learn a new way of batting that involves this weird, unnatural looking stance (like they're holding the bat away from themselves and they look like they're about to do the splits) and they are supposed to hit the ball down and in front of and between the third baseman and shortstop or the first baseman and second baseman.

What's up with this?
I don't think anyone expects homeruns all the time. I'm not suggesting that. I am suggesting that in order to advance in the game you need to be a strong batter. Why then would a coach advocate a batting strategy that does not promote becomming a strong batter?

One of the parents did say these coaches came from colleges that are not big on baseball so they learned a "small ball" batting strategy, whereas a college that has a strong baseball reputation teaches a totally different batting strategy that promotes more powerful batters.

I was hoping someone with knowledge would enlighten me a little.
It really depends on the coaching philosophy---we like speed and contact--if we have power it is an asset---we have had our #4 hitter bunt on occasion---it all depends on the game situation--we like to hit and run--hit behind the runner--double steal etc

If we have spped in the batting lineup we will speed in the field and leads to solid defense and we depend on defense and pitching---simply a coaching philosphy
Regarding small ball.

I believe the best hitters are also the best bunters. They seem to be able to slow the game down.

I also believe I rather teach and excecute
situational hitting to moving the runner up
vs the sac bunt.

I am not a big advocate of the slap bunt (in baseball) yet it an remains effective hitting tactic
in fastpitch.

With regards to "politics". I think that word has
some utility in certain specific situations and especially in Wash DC, Department of Homeland Security, Department of Transportation, and of course the current Administration.

In baseball, I am inclined to believe it is more about building relationships (and is a substitute for the misuse of the term 'politics'). And of
course there are two basic elements known throughout for developing, sustaining and improving relationships at all levels. That would be trust, and communications. Without trust and communications, the process for developing, sustaining and improving relationships becomes most difficult, and challenging, if not impossible.

And of course the best approach for parents to buildinh a relationship with the HS and College Head Coach includes what I call the 3 B's.
'Be Brief', 'Be Truthful' and 'Be Gone'.

For the HS or College player, the 3 B's are tailored a bit and includes:
'Be On Time', 'Be Brief' and 'Be Gone'.

And to give credit to where credut is due, I borrowed, in 1998, the approach from my friend, CAPT D. Conley, CDR of the USS Halsey, whose highest rank at retirement is RADM (USN).

I recently chatted with RADM Conley is the parking lot last week, near the Pentagon. An Outstanding man.

cheers
Bear
Last edited by Bear
quote:
One of the parents did say these coaches came from colleges that are not big on baseball so they learned a "small ball" batting strategy, whereas a college that has a strong baseball reputation teaches a totally different batting strategy that promotes more powerful batters.


Fullerton, Irvine, Long Beach have all played/lived by the small ball strategy and they are schools that are big on baseball. Fullerton, under Horton, had/(has?) a reputation for making opponets pay defensivly by presuring them with hit and runs, bunts, stealing bases all game long.

Having said that I am not big on changing everyone's batting style into one uniform standard. A good player will constantly tweek his own batting style, taking advice from coaches and fellow players during his career in a manner that fits his ability and more importantly his confidence. Lack of confidence in a hitting style or approach will greatly diminish a hitters results. A HS coach has to learn where to draw the line between helping or hurting each kids swing and confidence.
War Dog....I just went through that same situation. Son was not 6' or with the "in crowd", did not play for the most expensive summer team, etc. He went in to make the team, wound up a starter and now a up and coming prospect for next year. Attitude is everything, don't take it either way for granted and let the boy shine. Coaches see talent and it looks bad upon them if they play favorites when others shine brighter.
what I've learned:

1) In almost all cases, the HS baseball coach knows more about baseball players and their potential than the parents.
2) As a parent, you need to let go and allow your child to handle issues and develop on their own.
3)Encourage your kid to work hard in school, on the practice field and in games and everything will take care of itself.
4) Be there emotionally for your kid, but do not make excuses for them.
quote:
Originally posted by Aldoinla:
what I've learned:

1) In almost all cases, the HS baseball coach knows more about baseball players and their potential than the parents.
2) As a parent, you need to let go and allow your child to handle issues and develop on their own.
3)Encourage your kid to work hard in school, on the practice field and in games and everything will take care of itself.
4) Be there emotionally for your kid, but do not make excuses for them.


Well stated. With my oldest watched a few of his teamates parents put their mouths & actions in the way of their sons play. At home games, many times, just found it easiast to sit down the rf foul line with my shades on & Ipod on. Now that my youngest is in school ball, we seem to have a much more reserved group of parents.
I have to say that I got my fair share of politics at college. From day one, when the coach who recruited me left the program, I was in for an uphill battle. I didn't know it at the time, but there were forces at play before I ever took a step onto campus.

I battled for 4 long years to overcome being on the wrong side of the political fence. My head coach for a long time had his guys who helped with the transition to D1, and to top that off, every year the new recruiting coach would bring in his crop of players that were slated to play.

I was never resentful at the players that were being given the upper hand, but instead I very much disliked the system. My class was getting decimated and the whole time I felt bad about myself.

Looking back, the situation did make me stronger and more mature but I should have either accepted my situation earlier or transferred. There is no reason to remain in a bad situation.

My experience showed a lot of the business of sports and really shaped a lot of my views on baseball that I hold now. I had to overcome a lot in college and hope my story can help the next generation of student-athletes.

Ken Jacobi

Author of “Going with the Pitch: Adjusting to Baseball, School, and Life as a Division I College Athlete”

As my son enters his sophomore year, we are filled with uncertainty about the upcoming year. He I suppose is one of those marginal players- inconsistent, and very unsure of himself. Lots of parents and coaches have told him and us how much potential he has to be a great player, but his low self confidence and reluctance to practice daily is holding him back. He sat most of his freshman year after being told that he made the team but wouldn’t see the field much. I fear that this season will be the same as last. On top of riding the bench, he actually gained weight and went into summer ball out of shape and had lost his swing. His strengths have always been hitting and pitching. I really believe that being on the JV team his freshman year was more of a detriment to his development as a player. The school usually finishes slightly above .500 in the weakest conference, with obvious attention and playing time given to the players deemed better. Politics aside, my son has been lumped in with the sub par players. So, my question is: is it better to quit school ball, continue with lessons and training for summer ball, or endure another season with the school team that results in the whole spring being lost, and no improvement to his game because he is not an “important” player.

please be kind. I know that my kid most likely will not play college or MLB, but he is good enough to hang with these kids if he was only given a chance.

 

I appreciate the advice in advance.

Welcome! 

What does your son want to do?  I would ask him and follow that path. Does he love summer ball and dislike school ball? If yes, then skip school ball and train for the summer. Is he ambivalent about all baseball (does his reluctance to practice apply year-round)? If so, maybe he doesn't want to play baseball at all and is only playing because other people think he should.  You didn't mention not playing at all as an option, but maybe it should be considered -- just because he is good enough doesn't mean he has to (or wants to) "hang with those kids". 

 

 

KTCOTB posted:

As my son enters his sophomore year, we are filled with uncertainty about the upcoming year. He I suppose is one of those marginal players- inconsistent, and very unsure of himself. Lots of parents and coaches have told him and us how much potential he has to be a great player, but his low self confidence and reluctance to practice daily is holding him back. He sat most of his freshman year after being told that he made the team but wouldn’t see the field much. I fear that this season will be the same as last. On top of riding the bench, he actually gained weight and went into summer ball out of shape and had lost his swing. His strengths have always been hitting and pitching. I really believe that being on the JV team his freshman year was more of a detriment to his development as a player. The school usually finishes slightly above .500 in the weakest conference, with obvious attention and playing time given to the players deemed better. Politics aside, my son has been lumped in with the sub par players. So, my question is: is it better to quit school ball, continue with lessons and training for summer ball, or endure another season with the school team that results in the whole spring being lost, and no improvement to his game because he is not an “important” player.

please be kind. I know that my kid most likely will not play college or MLB, but he is good enough to hang with these kids if he was only given a chance.

 

I appreciate the advice in advance.

Welcome back, KTCOTB.  I still think you have been looking at this wrong.  You have been consistent with the message that he just needs to be given a chance.  He made JV last year and played summer ball this year.  He didn't play in many games with JV last year but practiced with the team daily.  You have provided him with the opportunity to take lessons and play summer ball.  He IS getting HUNDREDS of chances.  At some point, he needs to decide that he is going to be the hunter, not the victim.  He needs to decide he wants to work harder than those ahead of him to earn that PT.  The funnel only narrows further going forward.  As he works his way (should he decide) toward varsity ball, he will only encounter more kids who do work hard every day.  They have the passion and drive to do it.  If he really commits, before long, he will be more confident.  But commit and work come first.  Not the other way around (at least for most).  And, BTW, this includes conditioning.

As a former HS coach, we could usually see whether a kid had that drive or not when they first came into the program.  That said, I have seen a few find their "lightbulb" moment a year or two later, so it is not totally out of the question.  But the clock is ticking.  You two should probably sit down and have a real heart-to-heart.  If he doesn't want to commit to stepping up the efforts and taking control of his baseball destiny, maybe he is better off finding something else that he might have more passion for.  Or he can just enjoy going out to the field with the boys every day for as long as that lasts.

 

Last edited by cabbagedad

We have asked him multiple times if he wants to play or not. I especially have explained to him that a big commitment is required as he gets older and the competition more fierce. It is a tough situation. His first love is football where he is a starter both ways, and is one of the coaches favorites. Baseball is more of a struggle. He is very quiet, and that is often mistaken for not being enthusiastic. He wants to play school ball, but has been mentally beaten down so badly over the last three years, with this same coach who just doesn’t think much of him. He told me after the first day of open gym that if he gets cut as a sophomore from JV, or sits this year, that will be it for school ball. I told him that he will get chances this year, and he has to kick that proverbial door open, and make them see his ability. He thinks that practicing a couple of times a week, and a couple of lessons a week are enough. I know it takes more, but he does not understand that, since football comes so easy to him, and he is very good at it with little preparation. We will keep working and see. I don’t believe in quitting, but when do we face reality, that maybe it’s not meant to be with school ball regardless of what he does? My biggest worry is that the teams (varsity and JV) are not well coached. The teams finish slightly above .500 every year. Varsity and JV practice together, which sounds good but it doesn’t allow enough time for each player to get his reps in the cage and in the field. Practice consists of warmup, catch, very little base running or running at all, about 10 swings in the cage, and shagging maybe 10 fly balls (he is an outfielder too). The pitchers get an invite around this time each year to do early morning workouts, but that is only if you are picked to do so. My son has never gotten an invite to work out with the pitchers. It’s a combination of lack of meaningful opportunities, and then he not capitalizing on the chances he gets. Very tough.

KTCOTB,

Your post seems to indicate your son has made up his mind about school baseball, and he isn't sufficiently self-motivated to change his place on the team or his skill set.  If that is the case, the outcome will be predictable. 

As a parent, I understand your frustration because this is 100% on him.  I agree with CabbageDad that maybe it is time to sit down and have a heart to heart where you ask the questions and let him talk about what it is going to take to find that baseball passion again.   I have 3 sons.   I knew what buttons to push for each of them, and I also know when it was time to move on.  Again, sit down with him and just listen.  Don't let him make excuses but allow him to make a decisions.  Hopefully a plan to go forward with baseball will come out of it.

Good luck!

Where I live, there is middle school baseball in the fall, so sometimes the JV coach is also the middle school coach.  This person is a football player, so that is probably not the case.  Maybe he coached middle school baseball and went up to JV the same year.  Also, in my state, kids can play non-contact sports before high school.  My son made the JV baseball team in 7th grade and should be on varsity this year as a freshman (although he will very likely play a mix of JV and V).

Had to chime in on this one as the title peaked interest. Grew up in a small daddy ball town that caused me start wrestling in the winter (had zero issue with politics in that sport, and actually fell in love with it).

However, reading through the post this doesn't sound like "politics" at all. As far as the coaching being bad??? that may or may not be real as they do win more than they lose, but it doesn't really matter. The funnel is starting to happen and the kid doesn't seem like he wants to put in the work (sorry if that came out harsh, I was just trying to sum it up).

Truly, I mean no disrespect. It seems that he has natural gifts as he made the JV baseball team as a freshman, and is a 2-way football player for years with all with very little effort/training. As every knows natural gifts only takes you so far. Hard work and dedication is needed to further his sports future. I recommend taking the advise mentioned before, and evaluate what is actual and perceived. After all, there is much more to life than just sports!       

KTCOTB posted:

We have asked him multiple times if he wants to play or not. I especially have explained to him that a big commitment is required as he gets older and the competition more fierce. It is a tough situation. His first love is football where he is a starter both ways, and is one of the coaches favorites. Baseball is more of a struggle. He is very quiet, and that is often mistaken for not being enthusiastic. He wants to play school ball, but has been mentally beaten down so badly over the last three years, with this same coach who just doesn’t think much of him. He told me after the first day of open gym that if he gets cut as a sophomore from JV, or sits this year, that will be it for school ball. I told him that he will get chances this year, and he has to kick that proverbial door open, and make them see his ability. He thinks that practicing a couple of times a week, and a couple of lessons a week are enough. I know it takes more, but he does not understand that, since football comes so easy to him, and he is very good at it with little preparation. We will keep working and see. I don’t believe in quitting, but when do we face reality, that maybe it’s not meant to be with school ball regardless of what he does? My biggest worry is that the teams (varsity and JV) are not well coached. The teams finish slightly above .500 every year. Varsity and JV practice together, which sounds good but it doesn’t allow enough time for each player to get his reps in the cage and in the field. Practice consists of warmup, catch, very little base running or running at all, about 10 swings in the cage, and shagging maybe 10 fly balls (he is an outfielder too). The pitchers get an invite around this time each year to do early morning workouts, but that is only if you are picked to do so. My son has never gotten an invite to work out with the pitchers. It’s a combination of lack of meaningful opportunities, and then he not capitalizing on the chances he gets. Very tough.

Really, it sounds like you are doing everything right, as long as you emphasize to him that it is up to him, not up to the coach (in terms of putting in the necessary extra work). Your biggest worry should NOT be that the teams are not well coached.  With your background and with the tools, information and opportunities you have provided your son, you know deep down that the ball is in his court.

It's just hard, particularly when it is a sport or activity that we have personal connection to and we've watched our kids grow up around it.  When we see signs of the possible end of that chapter, it really can be difficult.  But that is easier to handle than sudden ending - at least we sort of see it coming and can start to mentally prepare.  I think the answer to your question "when do we face reality" in this case falls under the cliche "the game will tell you".  Your son seems to be aware.  He will either decide to push the issue or the game will tell him sooner than later.  I certainly agree with your "no quit" philosophy but if it comes to the point where the writing is clearly on the wall and he makes that decision, I would be more open to allowing it.

I'm glad to hear football is going well.  Regardless of the baseball outcome, he has that as a continued athletic outlet and seems to be flourishing there.  Just remember, sometimes (particularly with teens) the same message heard the 1,000th time can be heard differently or perhaps finally actually heard for the first time.  So, as long as he wants to continue with the lessons, with workouts and with tryouts, no sense in giving up on him yet.  Meanwhile, continue to enjoy every facet of his young life.

Last edited by cabbagedad

I would like to follow Cabbage’s post with a comment about high school coaches and why they are so valuable. Sure, there are some bad ones. But a majority are good. Some are as good as Cabbage, Coach May and some others on the board.

As a parent I only saw two kinds of personalities having two kids (baseball and a softball player). Girls are psychological and emotionally different than boys. I’ve coached both. I’ll stick to boys to continue.

From 13u to 16u I only coached eighteen different boys outside my son in those three years. Over their careers high school coaches deal with hundreds, if not thousands of kids including teaching. They’ve been exposed to every kind of high school age personality and reaction on a daily basis. It’s why a high school coach can have the kind of observation Cabbage just posted. With my limited exposure to baseball players even as a coach my response was much tougher with far less reasoning. 

Teachers deal with kids and life. While travel coaches care about kids if the kid isn’t all in on baseball he’s gone. Teachers have to understand the kid and figure out how to get through to him. 

Last edited by RJM

"He thinks that practicing a couple of times a week, and a couple of lessons a week are enough. I know it takes more, but he does not understand that, since football comes so easy to him, and he is very good at it with little preparation."  

Let life teach him.  Practicing everyday is standard.  Where we are, to make the field, you are practicing everyday, plus working out on your own or with a trainer on the side.  Life shows you what it takes, and it appears it is.  It doesn't sound like he loves it.  If he did, sitting last year would have burned enough to practice more.  It know you want it for him, like we all do, but if they don't want it, it is usually taken away.  

I coached a similar player to KTCOTB's son.  He was an exceptional football player but really liked baseball.  However, he didn't like it enough to try to win that starting spot.  In football, he was better.  In baseball, he was not.  How could one player be so competitive in one sport and lack the competitive nature in another?  There are a lot of factors.  Perhaps the football coaching staff has found the right buttons to push.  Perhaps your son likes baseball but doesn't have the actual drive.  Perhaps your son is playing for you.  Regardless of how many times I talked to the young man that played for me, he would always say that he wanted to be on the team.  Eventually, his senior year, he came to me and said that he was playing for his dad and that he wanted to workout for football since he was going to play football in college. 

 

BTW, it was good reading an old thread with some of the old poster's contributions.  I loved seeing TRHIt's name.   

Last edited by CoachB25

I agree with CoachB25.  I have had some players who were great in other sports and thought they could just come out and succeed at baseball.  No offense but football doesn't always require the same requirement of technique that baseball does, you can sometimes live off athletic ability.  A little tougher in baseball and I have coached some high level football teams in my years.  Is he starting varsity or jv in football?  That would explain a few things.  I hope you realize that personality has a lot to do with player/coach interaction.   If I remember the story right, you were involved in a situation that dictated the coach not liking your player.   If that is true, remember it is easier to forgive than forget.  He may have forgave you but not forgot.  The sins of the father will be passed on to the third and fourth generations.  But for the coach to keep your son, as you have been told, he is giving him a chance.  Most would have cut him.  If I am thinking of the wrong situation, please forgive me.

No, you guys are dead on. Some of his problem is perception, but mostly that he is not putting forth the effort that is required to get to the next level. I did it, and so I know what it is like, and what it takes. A lot of it is his attitude. He has no delusions of grandeur- draft pick or college ball. He was well taught in football and is very strong, so that helps. He knows his stuff. He was on JV and later called up to varsity for football. The middle linebacker on varsity is very big, and is pretty good, so they kept him down mostly due to that and to let him grow another year. They all know he is quiet and reserved, but technically very sound.

Baseball- his training lagged a bit, with hitting being his real strength. The past couple of years he has started to learn pitching, because he has a very strong arm. Yes, the game may push him out as the rigors become more intensive. He struggles with consistency and confidence. We all know those two are key to being successful. We will see what lies ahead. I will keep you guys posted on the outcome. 
Thanks again for the words of wisdom. Part of me knows this already, so maybe I needed to hear it from others too.

I’ve never bought into one player at a position blocking the way. Coaches find a place for talented players. I was a safety my soph year of varsity football. Junior year after a graduation I was moved to corner. 

The funny thing is someone asked why I didn’t have as many interceptions junior year. I wasn’t standing in the middle of the field getting hit between the numbers with overthrows.

In baseball, younger players who can hit are often placed at corners until stud upperclassmen graduate.

Last edited by RJM

I have to disagree this time. In Baseball you can get away with being small. Football requires size. The only exception I believe is running backs. My son is not huge. He also sustained a concussion practicing with varsity which I believe kept him down longer. There were some really good players who were kept down at JV because of their size. 

Last edited by KTCOTB
KTCOTB posted:

I have to disagree this time. In Baseball you can get away with being small. Football requires size. The only exception I believe is running backs. My son is not huge. He also sustained a concussion practicing with varsity which I believe kept him down longer. There were some really good players who were kept down at JV because of their size. 

KTC, this is probably getting into thread drift and/or nitpicking but it could be somewhat relevant I guess...

You said.. "The middle linebacker on varsity is very big, and is pretty good, so they kept him down mostly due to that and to let him grow another year."

There is a distinct difference between being kept out of a slot because you are behind a stud on the depth chart and not yet being big enough for the varsity level of play.  So, if the primary reason son was kept down was because of stud linebacker, RJM is correct.  Most teams would have found another slot for him.  If it was mostly because he didn't have the size yet, totally different story.

It's all good.  Sounds like next year is promising.

Last edited by cabbagedad

"A TRUE STORY"

After a brief slump, Mantle was sent down to the Yankees' top farm team, the Kansas City Blues. However, he was not able to find the power he once had in the lower minors. Out of frustration, he called his father one day and told him, "I don't think I can play baseball anymore."

Mutt drove up to Kansas City that day. When he arrived, he started packing his son's clothes and, according to Mantle's memory, said "I thought I raised a man. I see I raised a coward instead. You can come back to Oklahoma and work the mines with me." Mantle immediately broke out of his slump, going on to hit .361 with 11 homers and 50 RBIs during his stay in Kansas City. 

Bob

Consultant posted:

"A TRUE STORY"

After a brief slump, Mantle was sent down to the Yankees' top farm team, the Kansas City Blues. However, he was not able to find the power he once had in the lower minors. Out of frustration, he called his father one day and told him, "I don't think I can play baseball anymore."

Mutt drove up to Kansas City that day. When he arrived, he started packing his son's clothes and, according to Mantle's memory, said "I thought I raised a man. I see I raised a coward instead. You can come back to Oklahoma and work the mines with me." Mantle immediately broke out of his slump, going on to hit .361 with 11 homers and 50 RBIs during his stay in Kansas City. 

Bob

Great story Bob!  Mutt Mantle... what a name.  

I don't understand why he would continue to play club baseball and take lessons if he is done with high school baseball. It's one thing to play rec for fun on the side, it's another to train, spend money and travel just for your kid to continue having fun. The bad coaches are still going to be there next year. He either works hard and does something about his situation or quits and lets the bad guys win. 

Consultant posted:

"A TRUE STORY"

After a brief slump, Mantle was sent down to the Yankees' top farm team, the Kansas City Blues. However, he was not able to find the power he once had in the lower minors. Out of frustration, he called his father one day and told him, "I don't think I can play baseball anymore."

Mutt drove up to Kansas City that day. When he arrived, he started packing his son's clothes and, according to Mantle's memory, said "I thought I raised a man. I see I raised a coward instead. You can come back to Oklahoma and work the mines with me." Mantle immediately broke out of his slump, going on to hit .361 with 11 homers and 50 RBIs during his stay in Kansas City. 

Bob

Mickey Mantle may have been a phenomenal baseball player, but his personal life was an absolute mess and at least one biographer has concluded that was partly down to having been raised by a domineering father.

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