Anonymous Part II

TripleDad,

I can only speak from my own experiences - but what is as striking - over time - is when you get to actually spend time with some of these people.

They are exactly what they say they are. Only better.

A few weeks ago - I went to Jupiter, Fla - I did spend time with some of these great people - and for me - it doesnt get much better than that.
People who love the game - go out of their way for the kids - and share their personal time to help others.

That is about as credible as it can get IMO.

I started out here looking for advice, and to talk baseball.
More for myself then for my son.
Group Therapy for Parent's.
Learning all the Mistake's I made by myself in the Past and I'm sure in the Future. LOL
It's Honest and to the Core.
No suger coating going on here.
You learn a lot by just reading.

The Anonymous part would be nice to maintain.
Just for my player's sake. LOL
EH

I agree with you, Triple. Depsite the screen names, most of the regulars are people whom, over time, we have grown to know an awful lot about. They are not anonymous.

And I think that absolutely adds credibility to what these folks say.

When our boys were younger, I think anominity is more important. He, his experience, and whatever we as parents have tried to do are all unproven elements.

Through time, we, of course, get to know each other and our sons better. As they achieve, the experiences we relate hold more weight.

But I will admit that sometimes, when a poster expresses strong opinions about an aspect of the game or the process and I read their vague profile, my reaction is to discount their contribution. I'm not looking for a name, but a "resume".

In my limited experience it seems the loudest or rudest parents are the ones who want their sons to achieve more than ability will let them. I'm basing this on game time observation, and feel like that is also true online.

I think it is great when I read about folks meeting up at events and praising other kids. Most baseball parents I've met are wonderful. That too is evident here. I'd say the majority are this type of person.

Orlando brings up two very good points. One, when they are younger our son’s “baseball worth” is unproven and if we go out on a limb and tell all (as we think it is) we stand the chance of looking rather stupid after it plays out. Secondly I agree with her when she says the name of the poster means nothing but the resume means everything when it comes to the credibility of the post.

I have had some pretty cheap shots taken at me by those hiding behind their anonymousness. However the impact is small because they have no face. I always thought it was impossible to be effectively outspoken while remaining anonymous.

I decided a long time ago that being anonymous was not my style. I wanted to share my experiences and I wanted the reader to understand where I was coming from. I have never claimed to be baseball savvy nor have I ever felt my son was the greatest thing that happened to the game. I was caught up in my son’s baseball, the recruiting process and the draft and saw it unfold with out being “influenced” by previous knowledge. I may not know as much as most but I sure paid attention. I wanted to share this from my perspective and the only way I could do this was to describe my perspective. This meant describing my thoughts, where I came from, where I lived, what I did, and who I really was. I admit I was very vulnerable but I think the members on the HSBBW understood my goals and protected my vulnerability. My son also understands that I post some things about him but he’s OK with that. My openness did create a few problems for him too. One time his college coach called him in and asked him about something I posted on the HSBBW. My son told the coach my opinions were my own and he would have to talk to me about that. Of course the coach never did.

Most anonymous posters have my respect but they need to understand they limit themselves to the impact the have on the hsbbw. There will always be those that step forward and give a face to the information they share. The HSBBW has to have “real people” in order to continue in a sensible manner. I especially appreciate Julie and Bob --- two well known people that have given so much ---- they have shared their lives so that the HSBBW can continue ---- Bob started the tradition of giving the person that wanted to protect their identity the same opportunity as everyone else. Sure it creates problems but only with problem people ---- it also creates opportunities for those good people wanting information.
Fungo

Fungo,
Great post, really great, as always. I share your opinions on the subject.

In fact, I closely followed most of your advice over the early years when we were in the process. I often wondered how things had turned out if I had not followed your posts. I learned a great deal from you, you have no idea how much.

Fungo's son attended Auburn with one of my son's coaches son. Since Auburn was on our watch list I took a special intrest and followed Fungo's son. I learned more about Auburn from reading his posts than any college website. Son did have an offer from Auburn, but it was not the right "fit" for him. I would never know what that meant if I had not learned it from Fungo! Little did I know that someday our sons wqould face each other, I get a kick out of that, in fact over teh years, son has faced or played with lots of HSBBWebsters players. That brings a special bond between people.

People come to the HSBBW for many reasons. First to read all the info, posts, then eventually begin to ask questions, over the years they give up their anonyminity and post to help others. That's how the "process" is on the HSBBW.

I agree with Orlando, if I am reading a post and know absolutely nothing about a poster other than he/she comes from cyberspace, I move on and so do most people here. People are smart, they know how to pick out the helpful info from those that have gone through it and can come to their own conclusions.

Anonymity is for cowards. If there is something to say, say it honestly and stand by it. I've found that the best contributors to this site are those who make themselves transparent to others. It's their honesty in sharing their experiences that makes all this tremendously valuable. We all know who Fungo is, who TPM is, TR, Julie, Jerry, etc. That's why there is value in reading what they say and applying their perspectives to situations. People who hide should get their wish and stay hidden.

If you stay here long enough, read, respond and participate in discussions, you won't be anonymous for long. Some use their full names, some partial, some very creative, the common goal is the young players and learning from their parents whove experienced plenty. You can hide behind any name you want or be anonymous, but when you are truely HERE, there is no hiding. Just look at the number of people who view the site as unregistered, they lurk for months before feeling like becoming a part of it all.

Rather strong statement, 1228, and likely not well thought out.

A handful of people here know my identity. I trust them to keep it that way.

Some idiots can let things get carried away. And if they have your name, then with today's technology they have your address and phone number. Plus perhaps more information. And they can proceed to cause trouble. It isn't worth it to me. If I'm not mistaken, some on this board can vouch for this firsthand.

Second, some with whom I disagree might well try to retaliate by harming my son, via badmouthing him amongst the baseball community. One poster on this very board made such a veiled threat, in fact. The baseball world is small in many respects. I won't take the chance of someone pulling such a vile stunt that might do damage for my son.

That is why I remain anonymous at this time.

I will let people value my contributions based on their own merits, rather than based on some resume (which could easily be falsified) or my name.

And I would add that some of the posters for whom I have the most respect choose to not disclose their name. That does not diminish my appreciation for their contributions in the slightest.

quote:

Anonymity is for cowards

I think that statement is totally off base. I do not care if you know who I am and someday you will. However, our kids all have different types of schools and coaches that they play for. Some great like some of the posters on here. In my opinion if my sons school was able to read my post and know who I am they would indeed take it out on him. That and only that is the reason for my anonymity. Why should my son suffer because of things that I post? He shouldn't. This is his time and hopefully with a lot of hard work and a lot of luck someday he may realize his dream. Walk a mile in my shoes or anyone who wishes to remain anonymous and maybe you would understand.

Texan, my response was very well thought out. I always say what I think and stand by it without any fear. Your reasons obviously are your own and are to be respected.

BB1 - maybe I don't understand this. You want to say things about your son's coach and/or his program and not have it come back to bite your son? Here is my position: if you don't have the courage to say something and stand by it with your name, then don't say it at all. That's a stand-up way of ensuring that your son isn't damaged by any of your posts.

Character, after all, is defined as what you do when no one else is watching.

Too often, people get hurt by others who hide behind the safety of their anonymous screen names. You both have your reasons. I think differently than both of you. That's all.

When I started posting, I had a lot more information in my profile than I do now. At the same time, anyone who lives in my neck of the woods can easily figure out who I am and who my son is. So I guess I'm pseudo-anonymous. There have been times that I posted something idiotic enough that I wanted to hide behind something more anonymous. That's for sure. At the same time, this is a learning process, and maybe I can save someone else from making the same mistake.

I had a question this morning regarding something that happened to my son earlier this week, and I knew that I could trust the people on this site to give an honest, objective opinion. The first person to respond was anonymous. Still, great advice, balanced and objective, and just what I needed to see. And, 1228, if the coach ever reads it he'll undoubtedly know who I am. And that's OK. I'll take responsibility for it.

bb1, I'm sorry to hear about the environment that your son is in. I know those environments exist and don't blame you for doing what you have to do.

quote:

Originally posted by Coach Merc:
If you stay here long enough, read, respond and participate in discussions, you won't be anonymous for long. Some use their full names, some partial, some very creative, the common goal is the young players and learning from their parents whove experienced plenty. You can hide behind any name you want or be anonymous, but when you are truely HERE, there is no hiding. Just look at the number of people who view the site as unregistered, they lurk for months before feeling like becoming a part of it all.

Good observation Coach Merc,I lurked for a year
before joining.This is the best baseball site there
is BARNONE.I finally joined even though my oldest
is only in 5th grade.I doubt I would ever put my
real name because of the trolls.

Perhaps some of you are in areas where there are a number of fellow hsbbwebsters (or lurkers) and you feel the need to protect your son or yourself.

There are a few ways to accomplish this --- don't brag, don't post anything negative about a player, coach, program, or parent. If you have a sensitive question, PM a member who you feel would know the answer, rather than posting on the public forums.

Years ago, I had a particularly sensitive question and I PM'd Bob, our esteemed founder. He didn't know the answer, so he volunteered to ask the question on the public forums himself.

Texan, anything on the web can be fabricated, including opinions and the experience that led to those opinions. I'm just suggesting that information --- level at which one's son plays, whether the poster has coached, maybe even the poster's job --- displays an element of trust that gives one's posts more weight.

I understand people posting here wishing to remain anonymous. We all have our own agendas and so, this site fills different needs for different people. I want my posts and participation to generate interest in my players and so, remaining anonymous would be contray to what I desire from this site. People who wish to remain anonymous while protecting their children are using this site in the spirit it was constructed and so, I agree that they have a vested interest in remaining anonymous. I do think it is neat when some of our posters let us all in on how well their child is doing. For many here, they represent a sense of extended family.

The problem comes to play when these posters use their anonymity to attack others. That is not conducive to the spirit of our site. Their agenda is to use this site for flaming purposes. I've often wondered what kind of life they are living if their excitement comes from causing conflicts on an internet site. Few of these noted posters bring much to the table. Naturally a few do but the way they present their message is also not in the spirit of the site and so, they are soon gone. I for one am thankful that Julie and Bob and all those that came before and or administrate this site have created a site that we can all benefit from.

Darrell Butler

quote:

Originally posted by Baseballdad1228:
Anonymity is for cowards. If there is something to say, say it honestly and stand by it. I've found that the best contributors to this site are those who make themselves transparent to others. It's their honesty in sharing their experiences that makes all this tremendously valuable. We all know who Fungo is, who TPM is, TR, Julie, Jerry, etc. That's why there is value in reading what they say and applying their perspectives to situations. People who hide should get their wish and stay hidden.

I've just been flamed.

quote:

Originally posted by Baseballdad1228:
Texan, my response was very well thought out. ... Your reasons obviously are your own and are to be respected.

You could have fooled me, on both counts.

quote:

Originally posted by Baseballdad1228:
BB1 - maybe I don't understand this. You want to say things about your son's coach and/or his program and not have it come back to bite your son? Here is my position: if you don't have the courage to say something and stand by it with your name, then don't say it at all. That's a stand-up way of ensuring that your son isn't damaged by any of your posts.

All in life is not sweetness and light. Negative things happen. There are good coaches/programs and bad coaches/programs. Why shouldn't someone come here and honestly describe what they perceive as their situation - even if it is a bad situation? By coming here, they may well get valuable advice. That advice might help them see things from a different perspective. Perhaps then the problem is no longer seen to exist. Or it is kept in proper proportion. Or they may get advice on how to handle the situation. Either how to correct the problem or make the best of it. And perhaps there is no solution, but they can gain some relief by talking with someone else who endured a similar situation (which is often the case).

And by doing so anonymously on this board, rather than around their son's school or community, they are avoiding stirring things up.

But I guess your well thought out analysis may have missed these things.

quote:

Originally posted by Baseballdad1228:
Too often, people get hurt by others who hide behind the safety of their anonymous screen names. You both have your reasons. I think differently than both of you. That's all.

Some of the ones doing the most "hurting" are not hiding their names. Another unfounded generalization.

Texan makes some very valid observations which I think many of us would do well to heed.

I know that in the past, I have posted a sensitive question on behalf of a friend and at times I have posed questions under someone else's name. In doing so, my purpose was not to hide behind an anonymous screen name so I could say ugly things, but to avoid embarassing my son.

Yes, I could have PM'd someone with my question, but in my early days on HSBBW, I did not know any of the posters well enough to either trust them with the information or to trust the validity of their advice. Even now, I occasionally prefer to post a difficult question on the board rather than through a PM so I can get a variety of opinions that help to form a well-reasoned decision.

The only problem I would have with an anonymous poster is if he or she attacked me or my son without reason. A while back, I posted congratulations on a local baseball message board and a smart-aleck kid -- hiding behind a screen name -- called me an f-in _itch. I have no idea what that was all about, but I can assure you it did not elicit positive emotions.

I have never viewed anyone on here as anonymous. You have a screen name and that is who you are here. I hold TPM accountable for what see says on this site and if I want to bash her I will bash her. If I agree and want to say so then I will say so. To me your name on this site is who you are on this site. I hope that makes sense. It does to me so I guess thats all that counts. I know who Fungo is. He's Fungo. I know his posts even if he left off his screen name because I know him. If I have a beef with Fungo I have a beef with Fungo. Not whoever Fungo really is. Not his son who I dont know but I hear hes a pretty good catcher. I thought about changeing my screen name. I have a son that plays ball as well. But thats my son. Not me. Anyone that wants to take something out on my son because of what Coach May says on this site is a pretty pathetic individual. And to me any adult that bashes a kid because something the parent has done or said is even more pathetic. I love this site. I have made alot of friends. I have learned alot especially about parents and how my decisions as a coach not only impact the player but the family as well. And Ive learned many more things here. But here Im Coach May. If you dont like me thats fine. You can kiss my AZZ! If you like me thats even better. But you can still kiss my AZZ! See I have a sense of humor too. The parents of the players who are really good you hardly ever hear a word from. They never feel the need to bash a player. They always seem to be the ones praising the other players all the time. To me when I see a poster bashing players or putting other players down my first inclination to say to myself "I bet his son is not very good". Ok you guys have a nice day. Im off to off season workouts. We have a tough day planned for those scrubs!

1228
If you've ever read one of my post I have never mentioned a school or a coach by name. I've never once mentioned a player by name. I let them remain annonymous also. No one knows who they are either. But I'm not going to be a troll looking for answers. I've described situations that have happened to my son such as 150+ pitches in one game for a HS freshman. I did speak to the coach in person. His response: that if he ever plays for him he will throw him as often and as much as he wants. Does that sound like a program that wouldn't take it out on him? I have a good friend who has people calling him regularly about this school and their program. Should they try and go somewhere else? His best advice is pure fact and then you make up your own mind one way or the other. I know of a scout that says this is one of the most abusive in our state. I come here for people who are willing to share their experience and advice which has been very insightful and helpful at keeping it all in perspective. It helps to see things from someone elses point of view and let calmer heads prevail. If I had to sugar coat the situation to avoid someone taking it out on my son because they know me, the post and the answers would be much less useful.

Good post, CM. You & I have had a sharp disagreement or two over the years. But I still respect you and believe you are a good contributor to the board. Even though I don't know your identity or social security number.

Excellent example, bb1.

Thanks Texan. That is what I am talking about. I respect Texan because he is not afraid to express his opinion even though it may not be popular or go against the grain. And even though he and I have not always seen eye to eye on every subject and yes we have gotten after pretty hard we still do our thing. I have no idea who the guy behind Texan is. But that is not what is important on this site. I know Texan. I know what I am going to get from him. To me thats all that really matters.

quote:

bb1 posted: Does that sound like a program that wouldn't take it out on him?

Yes. It also sounds like a program to take him out of. Easier said than done, I know. I went toe to toe with the new coach over pitch counts sr. year. It was ugly. Very ugly. I was the disruptive little league dad. I complained to the highest levels of the school and made all their lives miserable. The AD and coach were replaced in May that year.

quote:

If you dont like me thats fine. You can kiss my AZZ! If you like me thats even better. But you can still kiss my AZZ!

Coach May: I'm feeling a little bit uncomfortable here. Please tell me there is a third option for people who would like to avoid putting their lips on your hindside!

Dad04
We've investigated moving to another school but because some of the language courses he takes there were only 2 options. Both good programs and schools. If this was just about baseball he would be gone but there is a lot more that goes into it then baseball. I think it was Coach May who gave some good advice in the past as to what my son should say: Coach I'm done. Can you give us one more inning? No, coach I'm done.
Without enough rest then say I'm still tight from the last outing. I need more rest.
Anyway I think I got my point across as to why I remain annonymous. Because I have to.

You have the right to select anonymity. You can justify it any way you like. On the HSBBW, there are private messages available for sensitive matters. I've taken advantage myself.

I say what I think and stand by the statements in every aspect of life, including baseball. You can do whatever you like.

MJM

quote:

If this was just about baseball he would be gone but there is a lot more that goes into it then baseball. I think it was Coach May who gave some good advice in the past as to what my son should say: Coach I'm done. Can you give us one more inning? No, coach I'm done.

Been right there. That's what you do. There is more to school than baseball.

quote:

Originally posted by CoachB25:

The problem comes to play when these posters use their anonymity to attack others. That is not conducive to the spirit of our site. Their agenda is to use this site for flaming purposes. I've often wondered what kind of life they are living if their excitement comes from causing conflicts on an internet site. Few of these noted posters bring much to the table. Naturally a few do but the way they present their message is also not in the spirit of the site and so, they are soon gone. I for one am thankful that Julie and Bob and all those that came before and or administrate this site have created a site that we can all benefit from.

Darrell Butler

I think everyone, regardless of opinions has made good points.

But the above statement by CoachB is most likely the best one. If someone wishes to remain anonymous, that is their business, but don't use that status to cause issues or to let your alter ego speak for you. I know that a while back CoachB has paid a price for not being anonymous and I admire that. There are others too, but instead of going away they have remained here and been very helpful to many many people.

I basically have the same philososphy as Coach May. I'll say what it is I have to say no matter whether I know who the person is or not. If I think that you are a kind and considerate person, I will respectfully disagree. If I think that you are up to no good, I will be on your case. If you ever say one thing bad about a young player who is not a professional or abut one of our websters kids, your post is gone and sent to Julie.

I am a pretty outspoken person, but in all of these years, only one person has taken it out verbally on my son on aanother website, not a bad % and he has never suffered because of anything that I have said. If I do have something negative to say, I will explain myself further, but I try to be careful about what I post, if someone asks a question and my reply would not be a positive one (about a coach or a porgram, etc.) I'll send a pm. In return for this I usually find my pm box full of questions from those who are afraid to ask because it might look stupid, they might get bashed or it is private information or someone just wanting to know info about a program or rule. If I can't answer, I will send them to someone who might be more helpful. I spend a lot of time here, because it has become a massive job to watch over this site and julie is one person. As she has once stated, this place wouldn't be what it is, if no one watched over it. I do beleive that is why teh site has grown, because it'as not known as a place you will get beat up on. You will however, get beat up on if you beat up on others. I do not always do teh right thing, but if you are constantly giving information that most likely will not work for someone, I am on ya. It is every persons responsibility here to give honest and helpful information. And when giving that info, remember that everyone is different. I am thinking about discussions where something worked for one person but it may not be the right or healthy thing to do, it is that posters responsibility to inform those who may be reading that this may have worked for their son, but may not work for another. I have also found that if there is a discussion going on and one person disagrees with everyone that's ok, but explain why you disagree, that avoids arguments.

The HSBBW is what you make of it, if you want to post to help others, it's very hard to remain anonymous, if you want to bash someone it's easy.

However, I can tell you that since I have been reading here for so long, I usually, with a little time, can figure out who is using another name. I also make it my business to learn what I can about people, and each and everyone of you has an online personality that can even be picked up on another site. But that is what I do and I am willing to face the consequences of my actions. I do think twice when I post, just because people know who I am and have been reprimanded on ocassion from some posters that I shouldn't post things just because of who I am (you got that). And people should not be afraid to say what is on their minds, if done in the proper way, it's not seen as bashing.

I am probably one of the few here who do know those that wish to remain anonymous, however I have never seen any harmful posts from most them, so one should never feel they have to hide because they might say something wrong. I think most everyone here gets it right, once in a while someone comes along with an agenda or to yank our chains, but you all usually seem to take care of them on your own.

Sorry to go on, just wanted to add my thoughts so those who think I am evil will understand.

bb1 you remain anonymous because you FEEL you have to. You have gotten great advice, but never, never be afraid to remain a secret when it comes to your son's health. JMO.

quote:
If you dont like me thats fine. You can kiss my AZZ! If you like me thats even better. But you can still kiss my AZZ!


Coach May: I'm feeling a little bit uncomfortable here. Please tell me there is a third option for people who would like to avoid putting their lips on your hindside!

hmmmm.. Ya know coaches like they Azz's kissed

quote:

If you dont like me thats fine. You can kiss my AZZ! If you like me thats even better. But you can still kiss my AZZ!


Coach May: I'm feeling a little bit uncomfortable here. Please tell me there is a third option for people who would like to avoid putting their lips on your hindside!

hmmmm.. Ya know coaches like they Azz's kissed

quote:

I am a pretty outspoken person,

What??
Aren't there enough rules? If poster prefers to remain unknown, so be it. If not, then also, so be it. We all have enough requirements in our lives, after the written rules of the board, without being asked, encouraged...required to wear...

Rob Im going to have to think about that for awhile. Can I be anonymous until I figure it out? By the way the work out today was awesome. We had our three mile run. We did a bunch of core work. Tomorrow we will do sprint work and do some agility work. The boys are working really hard. Cant wait until the HS season comes.

IMO no one on here is anonymous. If you have a screen name you are that person , here. You either have credibility or you do not here. If you respect others points of views and do not bash kids you have credibility here imo. If you do not respect others points of views and you bash kids then as far as I am concerned you have no credibility here.

I personally do not care who anyone of you are in real life. Its none of my business imo. If I find out who you are and you have credibility I like you and I want to meet you one day. Many I have met and really like. If I find out who you are and I dont like you I dont care. Im never going to have anything to do with you anyway. Thats just my way of thinking. I respect everyones point of view. OK! So you can all just KISS my _______!! Just kidding again folks.

quote:

Originally posted by Coach May:
I personally do not care who anyone of you are in real life.

I am holding you accountable for what you say.

I have revealed who I am many times on this site. I think the way Fungo describes himself speaks for me to in that it's "my style". There are many people on this board that I consider very good friends and who have touched my life in many ways. I've met quite a few. None of those friendships would have happened or blossomed if I was anonymous. I enjoy and appreciate knowing a more personal side to posters.

On the other hand, a person wishing to be anonymous doesn't disturb me as much as it does some posters. I realize people have many reasons they wish not to share more personal information. Some don't share a lot of themselves in real life... that's just who they are. Unless someone is hiding behind a mask to do damage to the site or others, more power to them.

Great post Coach May.

I've revealed who I am Sparingly to mostly poster's thru PM's
only.
A couple of time's when I wanted to Brag a little in the General Items Forum's section.

I don't give a Rats Azz If anybody know's who I am.
I do care if they associate anything I post to my Son.
He's not ME, I am responsible for what I post Not Him.

I don't have a problem sticking up for what I post.
There just Thought's, and not in anyway should be contributed to my son's thought's.

I don't bash Coaches, are Attack Parent's are Players.

Just TROLLS, are anybody that does bash Parent's are Coaches or Players.
Nobody's Perfect.
But I agree with Baseballdad1228,
If you Post something Stand Behind what you Post.
Do not start something, and then Delete your original post like nothing was written are said.

EH

I hope it doesn't sound too wishy-washy to say: Good answers on both sides of this question.

I totally appreciate those parents, coaches, scouts, players and baseball fans who are willing to let people know who they are in the "real world" (honest, this isn't the real world). Knowing someone's true identity helps you understand their basis for giving advice. And isn't it so interesting when a player like Shane (AHS) is willing to let us look into the life of a minor league player through his posts? Or a parent whose son is in pro ball shares those stories? Or a baseball professional gives us some behind the scenes looks?

But I also understand those who want to remain anonymous - as long as they don't use that anonymity to bash anyone.

Here is a dilemma that I personally face about "to be or not to be ... anonymous, that is":

I sometimes post a few thoughts about the path of the less visible college player, like my son. I love the fact that we have families here of pro players and top DI college players. But I also want to make sure that newcomers and visitors know that this site is for THEIR son, whether he is the player "on the bubble" to make the HS varsity team, or the HS senior wondering if he will find a place to play in college. This site is for MY son 4 or 5 years ago, figuring out which level of college ball might be the best fit for him, which turned out to be DIII. This site is for ME in more recent years, dealing as a mom with watching my son struggle with both the academic demands of college, AND some big bumps in the road of his college baseball experience. I sometimes want to post even more candidly about those struggles to let other parents know they are not alone. But at times I hold back a bit because a lot of people can figure out who my son is, and I don't want to embarrass him!

Anyway, I'm sure you all know that everyone is welcome here, and it is acceptable to remain anonymous. Even the poster above who said "anonymity is for cowards" or something like that ... I think he might have meant that taking cheap shots from the cover of anonymity is cowardly.

I also want to say that one of the best parts about being involved in this site has been the opportunity to meet some other members in person, and talk to a few others by phone. That is so cool to be able to put not just a name, but a voice and sometimes a face with the screen name. But there are a lot of other members who I hope to meet soon! Not Coach May though ... I'm afraid that he is going to make me do one of those workouts! Just kidding of course ... he would be on my list of folks I hope to meet when we all go to watch the first HSBBWeb tourney team!!!

Julie

EDIT:

This post is already reeea-l-l-ly long, but I wanted to add something. The little story I told above is not a sad story! In spite of the bumps and turns and twists in the road, my son is having the best years of his life in college. It is a privilege and a joy for him to play college baseball, in spite of injuries and other surprises. His baseball teammates are now among his best friends, and some of them will probably remain his friends for the rest of his life. Not every kid in Little League gets to play HS baseball, and not every HS baseball player gets to play in college. If your son is able to earn a spot on any college team, I hope he enjoys the ride, and I hope you (his parent) do, too!

quote:

Originally posted by MN-Mom:
But there are a lot of other members who I hope to meet soon! Not Coach May though ... I'm afraid that he is going to make me do one of those workouts! Just kidding of course ... he would be on my list of folks I hope to meet when we all go to watch the first HSBBWeb tourney team!!!

Pucker up!

quote:

I sometimes post a few thoughts about the path of the less visible college player, like my son. I love the fact that we have families here of pro players and top DI college players. But I also want to make sure that newcomers and visitors know that this site is for THEIR son, whether he is the player "on the bubble" to make the HS varsity team, or the HS senior wondering if he will find a place to play in college. This site is for MY son 4 or 5 years ago, figuring out which level of college ball might be the best fit for him, which turned out to be DIII. This site is for ME in more recent years, dealing as a mom with watching my son struggle with both the academic demands of college, AND some big bumps in the road of his college baseball experience. I sometimes want to post even more candidly about those struggles to let other parents know they are not alone. But at times I hold back a bit because a lot of people can figure out who my son is, and I don't want to embarrass him!

Julie - that was a mighty fine post

I also enjoyed Fungo and lafmom's thoughts in this thread as well.

quote:

Originally posted by Baseballdad1228:
Anonymity is for cowards. If there is something to say, say it honestly and stand by it. I've found that the best contributors to this site are those who make themselves transparent to others. It's their honesty in sharing their experiences that makes all this tremendously valuable. We all know who Fungo is, who TPM is, TR, Julie, Jerry, etc. That's why there is value in reading what they say and applying their perspectives to situations. People who hide should get their wish and stay hidden.

I have neither the time nor the patience to deal with trolls that would attempt to trample on my business. If you are not willing to pick up a weapon and stand guard, I'd prefer you would just say "Thank you" and let me do my job. Because you want me on that line and need me on that line. Let freedom ring. (Butchered paraphrase from "Stand and Deliver" or "A few Good Men")

Since I can't muster the courage to do it myself, you can all kiss Coach May's azz.

Bum you got to admit it , doesnt it feel good to say it!

Wow, that felt absoultely great! What's more remarkable, it was your azz not mine!

Those of us who have been on here a long time aren't all that anonymous where it counts. However, it is useful to maintain at least the facade of anonymity.

I also find that hearing what other people are willing to post because they are anonymous to be quite helpful. When one hears about arms being abused and the like, having your son get less opportunities than you might think he deserves doesn't seem quite as important.

I've noticed that in general, although there are exceptions, most start out anonymous and don't change until their son's are at least locked into a college.

When and if my son signs with a college I'll be happy to fully shed my anonymity.

BTW, who the heck is baseballdad1228, not that I really give a rat's ...?

Coach May,
I think we'll be sending you to the Phil Jackson coach's holiday media camp!

Texan,
Some good posts.

The three people who have met me from other boards found I'm who I said I was and my son was what I said he was. They also found me to be nicer in person. Face to face allows for visual and tone inflection. Online I'll state exactly what I feel without emotion.

There are too many nuts online to risk identification. The same troll who attempted to break into MTS's business website, made his way into my travel team's website, defaced the site and sent *** (form of happy) **** (disgusting pictures) through the site to thirteen year old boys and their parents. There were email addresses in a protected area. He got through that too. He figured out who I was and the team from pieces of information I provided over time on a chat board.

I don't care what one poster thinks of another. This demonstration displayed there are people online who don't understand limits and boundaries. I doubt there are many, if any people on this site like this person. But it only takes one. And there are lurkers.

RJM

Didnt you used to have a number of other id's on here and on other sites?

And if he did, so what?

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
RJM

Didnt you used to have a number of other id's on here and on other sites?

I'll respond in private since I don't want a particular poster to make this a topic of discussion. The short answer is I've only used one other name on any board I've been on.

Texan


I posed a question to RJM and he has answered---what is it your business what I ask him---

If you wanted it to be a private conversation, you should have used a PM, tr.

When I orginally decided to be part of this site I used and ID that I knew would be recognized. So I changed it. Since then it has only been one. However, I have no problem with people who do. I think one is better because then people sometimes remember past post and can help with even better advice.
I hope someday that I don't have to be anonymous and I can help people because of my experiences. Until then I will be here and hope that people continue to share their experiences and advice. Regardless of whether they know who I am or not as long as they know that I am being honest and sincere.

texan

I sincerely think I am too old for you to be giving me advice---thank you

this topic has it all, an azz kisin' contest & pizzin' match all roled into one

Good old fashioned give and take in debate---enjoy it

Now that is what I call a good thread! I make a motion it be given Golden Thread status!!!

TR why dont you use my line and tell him to _____________________!! Sorry just kidding again!

Among other Inconvenient Truths of our age is the fact that:

Anonimity allows posters, for reasons ranging from commercial motivation, fear of retribution, political agendas, personal vendettas, broken hearts, ego engrandizement etc., etc., to say things they would otherwise not say, especially face-to-face.

While all have the right to present ourselves as we see fit and to wonder about other's motivations.

I endorse Fungo's position that "Most anonymous posters have my respect but they need to understand they limit themselves to the impact the have on the hsbbw."

Coach May

I don't want to raise myself to your level ---LOL

I maintain that if you have to hide who you are, you should find another was of expressing yourself. I believe the premise of anonymity to protect your son is itself cowardly. If a coach was messing with my son the pitcher's arm, he would not have to find my concern in an anonymous post on the HSBBW. He would see me standing in front of him.

As I was replying to a pm a little different take on this came to me. If a person is going to maintain themselves as an expert(not that they necessarily call themselves experts, they've just given us their background), i.e. bbscout, TR and PG, with their showcasing backgrounds, (I made sure I picked people with real expertise)or any of the gurus who might post on here then they should identify themselves as Doug, Tom and Jerry have done. Likewise, I think we've seen the same thing with the many parents who have gone through the process of helping their sons through HS and into the college and sometimes even pro ranks. They've become experts in that process in their own right and many of them have given up their anonymity in order to make sure people take them seriously when they are trying to help. On the other hand, I know of at least one person whose very talented son is moving up in pro ball who choses to remain mostly anonymous and it seems to be the right thing for that person to do.

For those of us still struggling our way through the process and speaking our opinions in some of the hitting/pitching/etc. forums without proclaiming ourselves to be experts I don't think it really matters.

quote:

by baseballdad1228: I maintain that if you have to hide who you are, you should find another was of expressing yourself. I believe the premise of anonymity to protect your son is itself cowardly.

duh? ... I finally got it !! morons sometimes take longer

the above opinion was by a person using a fictitious screen-name who is essentially ..... anonymous!



I second the nomination for golden thread status

Bee, you are so correct.

Let me introduce myself - my name is Baseballdad1228. LOL

There actually is no place on the HSBBW form to introduce who we are to each other. About as close as it gets is letting people know who our sons are. I recall PGStaff starting a thread like that.

To be consistent with my posts, I'm Mike Murray Sr. from New Jersey.

All,
I made a kidding reference to baseballdad1228 in one of my posts in this thread and he sent me a very polite pm with plenty of information with no hint of "getting back" at me. Now he's "walked the talk" so even though I disagree somewhat with what he said I can't fault him for having his opinion.

quote:

To be consistent with my posts, I'm Mike Murray Sr. from New Jersey

c'mon now I didn't just get off the boat, that SOUNDS like an alias if I ever heard one

the only person(s) who's identity I can trust with certainty are MnMom (Julie the hc&btlwasher II),
and PGstaff (obviously Mrs Ford, by the wisdom/clarity of her posts)

quote:

Bee, you are so correct

umm, I'm kinda shy about even asking, but ....

did I win anything?

rewards, merchandise, gift certs, etc??? anything at all??

Bee,
You win a trip to the Phil Jackson coach's holiday media camp along with Coach May, where you will get a chance to personally kiss his ...

BTW, there was a time when only a few who she graciously passed on her son's experience to knew who MnMom was.

I've been passing myself off as me for years...still getting away with it.

quote:

where you will get a chance to personally kiss his ...

a) dog

b) scorebook

c) ball

d) trophy

e) bat

f) cat

g) azz

If I can read Iowa sign language correctly, and I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express a few years back, then I think PG just told Bee to stick a pitchfork in it.

quote:

I maintain that if you have to hide who you are, you should find another was of expressing yourself. I believe the premise of anonymity to protect your son is itself cowardly. If a coach was messing with my son the pitcher's arm, he would not have to find my concern in an anonymous post on the HSBBW. He would see me standing in front of him.

In case you missed it I did confront the coach and if you read back aways you will find his response. We all have a different opinion and protecting someone by remaining anonymous is just good judgement. Why should anyone, I repeat anyone suffer for my words? I can defend myself and obviously had no problem taking it to the coaches. A 15yr old against a coaching staff that has pure power will get nowhere and be blackballed.
I'd like to know what percentage of the people on this board are anonymous? It would be a pretty small board without them.

Having met Baseballdad1228,
He is the real deal.

Bd1228,
You have to admit you sort of have an inside take on this whole baseball recruiting
Draft thing having gone thru this yourselve before.
Nothing like a little experiance going along way.
If your talking **** about schools, people, players, or coaches.
Then you shouldn't hide your identity.
But I don't see a problem with staying anonymous for as long as you can.
If that's what makes you feel comfortable on the HSBBW.
EH

bb1,
Anonymous to one can be someone you know to another. Example, while I do not know your name or your son, that makes you anonymous to me. I do know who baseballdad is, so he isn't.

I don't think you would get the percentages you are looking for, but IMO, there are not that many anonymous (where no one knows the poster or son)regular posters.

I don't think that was what this post was about. It's about being anonymous to hide behind a screen name so you can be unkind or try to goof on people. There are a few of them here, whatever their reasons for doing so, it's just not right.

quote:

Originally posted by Baseballdad1228:
I maintain that if you have to hide who you are, you should find another was of expressing yourself. I believe the premise of anonymity to protect your son is itself cowardly.

That's fine. And I maintain that if you cannot comprehend the reasoning several have provided to the contrary, then you must be in denial. Either from the inability to formulate/present logical arguments otherwise or from sheer ego.

Texan,
I assure you that I can comprehend information and put together logical arguments, at least at a basic level, and that I'm not in denial (I don't get what I'd be denying, but that's OK). I just disagree with the need to be anonymous forums and boards. I stated that opinion. I did not ask that you agree with it. Obviously several disagee with me. I respect that people disagree, but that doesn't change my position. You can continue to attempt to belittle me with the condescending responses. I can take it. I just don't do the disrespect thing back.

BB1, there are nearly 600 posts in the "Please Identify Your Son" category started by PG Staff on Golden Threads. There are less anonymous people on here than you think.

EH you are always a pal!

MJM

Bee,

Now that's funny, I don't care who y'are!!!

"and PGstaff (obviously Mrs Ford, by the wisdom/clarity of her posts)"

I have had the privilege and pleasure of meeting both Mr. and Mrs., and while I am pretty darn sure that Jerry is the one making those insightful posts here, I would also bet that everyone here would thoroughly enjoy sitting (or standing) next to Betty at a ball game, or chatting with her here in the forums.

Julie

I think the fact that many people here have listed there sons with PG is terrific. I truly wish I could be one of them but only when the time is right will that happen. If he keeps getting better it will. Some of you know vaguely that my son is an LHP/outfield and that's about it. He's not big like many of your sons which is a battle he will face every time he progresses to a new team or level. He just flat out busts his butt everytime he's practicing, training or studying. (weighted 4.0). I'm not going to go into how hard he throws or how well he can hit but suffice it to say he can play but he's just a sophomore now so he has time.
1228 I know we will never agree on this but saying someone is a coward is just off the charts to me. If you are naming names and schools, bashing kids and hideing behind a login that's a coward. There are just so many reasons to remain anonymous some of which have been posted here. I've contacted the HS authority here and I'm sure they can figure out who I am and what school my son attends. I'm not concerned about it that'ss fine. My son knows many of the things and I've also told him that if anyone asks him a question answer it honestly do not deny things you know to be true. I grew up in NJ where you are and used to work with some pretty questionable people. Where you didn't want anyone to know your business.
TPM: Anonymous to one can be someone you know to another. That is true but that is still being anonymous to others. I know some people know each other and who their kids are. I know your son played or plays for Clemson. I do care about learning from yours and his experiences that is what is important. Sharing the knowledge that you and others have already gained.

quote:

Originally posted by CADad:
Those of us who have been on here a long time aren't all that anonymous where it counts. However, it is useful to maintain at least the facade of anonymity.

I also find that hearing what other people are willing to post because they are anonymous to be quite helpful. When one hears about arms being abused and the like, having your son get less opportunities than you might think he deserves doesn't seem quite as important.

I've noticed that in general, although there are exceptions, most start out anonymous and don't change until their son's are at least locked into a college.

When and if my son signs with a college I'll be happy to fully shed my anonymity....

I agree wholeheartedly. But, I do know a couple of members here as well as they know my son and me. CADad might even have an idea of who my son is.

BB1,

The problem with anonymity is that it can be a shield for those who aim to be hurtful for their own byzantine reasons. You say that anonymity protects others from being hurt by others reacting to your posts. I understand that. However, your anonymity is shared with people who blast young players, coaches and programs and do harm from the safety of their keyboard with only a screen name as a persona. My sons have been targets on forums here in New Jersey. It's frustrating to read things from people who are held unaccountable for what they say because they are hidden. What protects you for good reasons to you also allows those of low or no character to abuse boards and forums. Even right on his thread, anonymity gives a "Texan" a free shot at condescending statements toward me pertaining to my ability to comprehend and process information without my knowing who he/she is.

It is what it is and I'm not on a crusade to make people confess to who they are. It's my opinion and it only carries that value - one opinion. Anonymous people who don't hurt anyone are obviously not disruptive. But the safety of not putting yourself out there with your statements and opinions keeps the door open for those to do damage and injure. It happens infrequently on the HSBBW because of the care of the owner and moderators, but it happens when people have the ability to hide.

1228
Agreed anonymity can be used for hurtful puposes and that is wrong. Especially on kids. I was reading yesterday about a 13yr old girl who they believe committed suicide based on statements on myspace. I'm sure there were other problems but that pushed her over the edge. How sad. I don't think people realize just how hurtful their words can truly be.
I'm sorry your sons had to go through that I hope it is over and all worked out for the best.
There is a huge difference between condescending statements, which many quality posters use here from time to time. I wouldn't compare that to bashing someone, naming, names and picking on young players. That is wrong.
My son plays for one of the so-called top programs in our state where some kids try to transfer to and others who know better are trying to get out of. If I named the school, the kids, the coaches then hideing behind a login would be wrong but with 50 states and who knows how many school districts it amounts to little more than a statement with no basis in fact unless you know me.

quote:

Originally posted by Baseballdad1228:
The problem with anonymity is that it can be a shield for those who aim to be hurtful for their own byzantine reasons.

So it can potentially be misused. So what? A rolling pin can be used to murder someone. Should we ban rolling pins? Sit around and criticize them as a whole, because of the possibility of misuse? Again, faulty logic.

quote:

Originally posted by Baseballdad1228:
However, your anonymity is shared with people who blast young players, coaches and programs and do harm from the safety of their keyboard with only a screen name as a persona.

Some who openly publish their identities "blast young players, coaches and programs and do harm". So where is your blanket criticism of those who are not anonymous? Again, faulty logic at play here.

And you don't do "disrespect" or "condescending"? After your liberal use of the various forms of "cowardice"? Please....

You have shown substantial disrespect to many valuable contributors on this board who choose to remain anonymous. And with that I take issue.

I offer you the last word.

BB1228, I see where you are coming from, however, as has been mentioned before, there are great benefits to posters being anonymous. Those same poster do also contribute to the board. I doubt this board would exist if everyone had to log in with real names. To make everyone known just to flush out the occasional troublemaker would do more harm than good to the site.

I think everyone agrees it is cowardly to hide behind a screen name and take shots at others.
I also think to call all anonymous posters cowards including the ones who make respectable, genuine post is WAY OFF BASE!

quote:

by 1228: The problem with anonymity is that it can be a shield for those who aim to be hurtful for their own byzantine reasons. You say that anonymity protects others from being hurt by others reacting to your posts. I understand that. However, your anonymity is shared with people who blast young players, coaches and programs and do harm from the safety of their keyboard with only a screen name as a persona

I see Tex's point and only very, very rarely see any of the above problems on hsbbweb - bashing young players etc

yes if one visits trashy message boards ya get what you get ... what does that have to do with hsbbweb??

not sure why a name would lend more or less credibility to one's comments, as both bbd1228 & M Murray Sr are just labels of an unknown (by me) guy

If I met you on the street and I was unsure of your reason for wanting to know who I am, I might give you an alias. Those have been around since the days of Jesse James. I equate the logic to the military: Some have Top Secret, some have Secret clearance. It's based on your need to know. If I feel you need to know who I am, I'll tell you. Otherwise, I'll borrow words from Coach May.

ya saying you're not really Bum?

Bee, now that's funny.

Bums real name?

Darrill Lick.
EH

theEH's real name is:

Theodore Eh.

But he shortens his name up a bit for the sake of conserving bandwidth.

Bee, my real name is Bum Bill. My son is Bum, Jr. If my son met your daughter, and they hit it off, he'd be willing to assume your family's surname. He'd be

Bum Bill Bee.

quote:

Posted November 17, 2007 03:37 PM Hide Post
Bee, my real name is Bum Bill. My son is Bum, Jr. If my son met your daughter, and they hit it off, he'd be willing to assume your family's surname. He'd be

Bum Bill Bee.

Forget the baseball, this is why I come to HSBBWEB.
Absolutely Hilarious!

quote:

theEH's real name is: Theodore Eh.

I had him figured for a Canadian living on the left coast .. eh?

My middle name is Whatha

Theo Whatha Eh goin on here.
EH

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference

Plus, I'd complain, but who would listen?

Texan, my last word is this - even a deadly rolling pin doesn't type anonymous messages on forums. It must be implemented by someone - in your scenario - with harmful intentions. No flawed logic. Your analogy is simply ridiculous.

It's not disrespectful to believe people who voice opinions who refuse to disclose their identities are cowardly. It's my opinion based on their actions. I believe that if you say something - anything - then have the courage to stand with it, or don't say it at all. I accept that some, like BB1, feel that they have reasons for anonymity. I respect that. I just do things differently. You know who I am. I don't know who you are. I'm also OK with that. You can stay as Texan, safely clicking on your keypad without anyone knowing who you are.

Bee, the things about BB1228 is that you cannot find it in a telephone book. I'm listed to all and will answer the telephone when someone calls, or give my telehone number if someone wants to have a discussion. While I'm anonymous to those who keep me that way, I'm also transparent and welcome a call from whomever would wish to discuss anything I say. I'll post who I am, where I live and how to reach me. I write what I think and will take what comes with it.

As I said, I have no great need to discover who anyone is or lead a crusade to ban anonymous posts. I didn't initiate this thread. I just gave my opinion. No one has to agree with me. I'm quite comfortable with that.

Every player stands upon his own performance of his abilities to match up and compete using their own skills that show their level of perfection of the 5 tools.

I view this site for information and express my own opinion. My son is a reflection of his own baseball experiences, and has his own opinions.

It always amazes me that people want to be treated as individuals themselves with their own identity, but turn around and say something stupid like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Like as if ball players would even listen to their dads after they reach a certain level.

But it does hold true that some people will use anything they can to get a leg up on their competition...isn't that what has created the steroids scandal in baseball.

That's the reason why IMO its better to remain anonomous. JMO