We grew tired of the games my son's old coach played.  He would say he loved dual sport athletes but would penalize my son for missing out of season baseball practice for in season swim practice.  I talked to the coach  and made sure we were on the same page in regard to practices.  Then he would get on to my son for missing baseball practice because he had swim.  

Also when practices did start they would get the players out of the one hour study hall after about 15 minutes and they would practice until 730 to 8 pm.  So how do you have time to work getting better outside of practice.  Oh, no food until he got home after 8pm.  Then practice on Saturday from 10am until just after dark with a short junk food run for lunch.  

Son started hating to go to practice.  We pulled him.  He did not have any say.  His grades were slipping and things he did well in school started to suffer.  He is still working to bring up one of his grades that took the biggest hit.  Sometimes it just ain't worth it.  He will get farther with great grades than he will playing baseball.

My son is in a similar boat but he attends a stem program at a different campus and he is the only baseball player that does. "He is one of those kids" they say. He is also one of the few travel ball players and they all get a hard time from the coach. The coach says in a speech that hey are student athletes and the student part comes first, however my son has been late to practice because of the stem program and he penalized for it. My son even let the coach know beforehand that the bus was going to be late because they were at a college all day and behind a traffic accident on the way home. Coach doesn't understand that my son has more homework than the rest of the team either. We had a conference with his teachers because his high grades started to slip a few points, they thought that baseball was taking up too much of his time. To be fair stem and baseball take all of his time.   

BBDAD98,

I've been in your shoes twice.  My advice would be to continue to focus on academics and take the hit from the high school coach for the Spring then re-focus on travel baseball in the summer when he presumably is not burning the candle on both ends.   If your son is fortunate to play in college, he may be possibly dealing with the same challenges on a larger scale, but possibly with a program and a coach that you've selected.

JMO.  Good luck. 

StrainedOblique posted:

There is no mystery to playing time. There are no grudges against parents or players. High school coaches play the kids that help them WIN games. Period. Now, can a player piss off a coach ? sure. But a coach doesn't hold on to that too long. Maybe a few days. But once again the bottom line is they play the kids that help them WIN. It's the same in college.

If a kid is unhappy about playing time he needs to go to the coach ( never the parent ) and ask him a simple question ' What do I have to do to get into the line up? ' At that point most coaches will tell them exactly what they need to do. And more times than not it's generally the same answer. If they're a position player , it's going to be ' You need to hit the ball' and if they're a pitcher its gonna be ' You need to get outs'

If your son is a position player and he doesn't hit, he will sit. If your son is a pitcher and he doesn't get outs or throw strikes he will not get innings. It's that simple.

The good news is that if a player does in fact speak to the coach then goes off and improves his swing w/ a private hitting instructor or a pitcher develops a better delivery or a new pitch via a private pitching coach , they have every right to go to the coach later and say ' Coach can you watch my BP I've figured some stuff out" or " Coach can you come watch my pen, I figured a couple of things out'

Lastly , Parents should NEVER talk about playing time with the Coach. There are only really 3 times a parent should speak to a coach

1) Fundraising

2) Player Health / Injury/ Arm care ( pitcher )

3) Academic issues

 Everything else that happens on the baseball field that doesn't involve the aforementioned is none of your business

IMO you have identified a number of things that are wrong with most HS baseball programs.  Not sure that was your intention but nonetheless.....

First of all, grudges ARE held against certain players & parents.  To say that they aren't is either  naïve or disingenuous. 

My contention is that part of the job of being a HS baseball coach is to teach your kids how to be better baseball players.  A HS baseball coach should be knowledgeable enough about the game he is coaching to help a kid improve his hitting, pitching, baserunning, fielding, throwing, etc. Maybe not all of those things but at least some of them. If he isn't he shouldn't be coaching baseball.  I think your depiction of the HS coach telling a player to "go see a private instructor and figure it out" is accurate.  But its also a cop out. 

I also think (in many cases) there is way too emphasis on fundraising. If parents are pressured to raise money for (what they are told to be) the betterment of the program they should have a voice in how that money is spent.  Sometimes an additional coach would benefit the program more than a new outfield fence.

I don't advocate parents getting involved with their kid's issues with a HS baseball coach - especially about playing time. That battle is for the kid to fight.  But everyday I see HS baseball coaches putting kids on the field for all the wrong reasons.  They cave in to social & political pressure from booster club, parents, administration, etc.  Seems to happen more in baseball than other HS sports.

Keep in mind that I don't even have a HS dog in this hunt.  These are just my observations (and my personal experience) over the past 8 years. 

 Coaches don’t randomly select a victim for the season. If a kid doesn’t play he either doesn’t have the talent, the coach has the perception in the long run another player will be better, displayed attitude in practice, has grade issues or citizenship issues in school. 

As a parent I heard stories of why the coach doesn’t play my kid for eight years and twenty-one seasons of six high school sports. In every case the kid fell into one of the situations I listed. Often the parent isn’t getting the straight scoop from the kid. The parent is unaware of things that go on at practice, in the locker room or in school.

When I played high school ball I didn’t understand a couple of situations. One of my friend’s parents said it was because the coach is Irish Catholic and favors Irish Catholic players. Maybe it was possible in the 70’s. I’m Jewish and took a lot of crap including from coaches. It didn’t keep me from starting in three sports for three years. Even anti Semite coaches want to win. 

At the end of the day if you are going to let a coach break you mentally, you were never going anywhere in the sport. Whether that means college baseball or just being a reliable varsity player. You can have all the talent in the world, but the truth is none of your teammates are going to want you on the field in the last inning if you let something as small as an angry coach discourage you. People tend to forget that there is a mental aspect to sports. HS sports are fun, but they're also competitive, it isn't supposed to be a feel good environment.

You will get nods and a lot of agreement from other parents when you tell them he's not starting or quit because the coach doesn't know what he's doing, but the truth is they are all rolling their eyes in the back of their heads. People can pick apart coaches all they want, but I'm sure that coach can pick apart something your kid doesn't do well to justify his decisions. Do we really want coaches to change what they are doing so one player can be encouraged a little more? Everybody (including starters) having problems with a coach is a coaching problem. One or two parents having a problem with a coach is a them problem. 

Season update from That Baseball Dad. I am really not bad but some of you think so. Any way my son had another great season of play. He was allowed to bat around cleanup and sometimes cleanup and play the first 3 innings every JV game. He was a leader in stats but not the top overall avg for the season. He batted very close to .500 avg, high .700 slg with the most RBIs and second most runs. He was called up to dress out with Varsity the remainder of the season. He started once and played 7 innings total. He had the chance several times to show off his arm in RF throwing people out at 2nd and throwing to 3rd to hold the runner. He made two diving/sliding plays. Batting he was almost perfect on being productive 100% QABs, all line drives to the gaps and was quickly gaining on the total number of hits the Senior had that played RF all season long. The starting RF also had no arm or accuracy. Others that my son had out preformed this year and previous years were called up to Varsity before him again, but at least this time by miracle he was going to get some sort of shot. These other kids that got called up, out of the 5 only one worked out as a true Varsity starter. The rest were sitting the bench after mid way of the season. We had 3 players quit Varsity this year, two I know were good and one I didn't know, but he was in the local news paper about being a player to watch, but he sat the bench and quit 7 games in. The other two who will play college ball if they choose to (I know they have offers) did not play as much as they wanted and seemed to be pulled out first instead of someone else who was younger and or not doing as well. Seemed weird.  Never before had I seen anybody quit baseball at this school that so many others try to move to and make this team.  At my son's end of the year meeting with the coaches, They told him he was a great hitter with good mechanics and a great eye at the plate. They mentioned that he must have great pitch recognition because they never saw him swing at a bad pitch. They also told him that he was a great right fielder and that they had 3 spots open for next year and they thought he could fill one of those roles every game next year. They also stated that they did not know he was that good of a player. All the things they said are great, but understand also how frustrating it is to hear that they didn't pay any attention to his prior performances even when he was MVP or his perfect game stats, LOL. I am his dad and many if not all would say I am bias, but he has been this good the whole time, he did not get his swing or eagle eye this year. He has always been rock solid in the outfield almost no errors ever. None this year or last year. The coaches might have turned the corner this year, but I still stand by all of my previous statements that they just don't know what they are doing and I know one does not like my son because that coach said so last year.Most agree If a coach wants to win and keep his job they will play the best, but lets be honest that's not always the case. So glad travel ball will be here soon.         

“He started once and played 7 innings total. He had the chance several times to show off his arm in RF throwing people out at 2nd and throwing to 3rd to hold the runner. He made two diving/sliding plays. Batting he was almost perfect on being productive 100% QABs, all line drives to the gaps and was quickly gaining on the total number of hits the Senior had that played RF all season long.”

All in seven innings! Wow! And the Army brags they do more by noon than most people do in a day. It appears your son put forth a Herculean, all state effort in seven innings!

For a coach who is a jerk he was more complimentary of your son over seven innings of play than my son’s good coach was over an entire all-everything career.

Saw this on twitter last week, "If you have a problem with your kid's HS coach, check these boxes before complaining:

  • Does my kid spend 10 hrs/week doing extra work?
  • Does my son pound the weights?
  • Does my son want this as bad as me?
  • Does my son compete in practice?"

 

I have a son who is similar to some of yours-- the dreaded "well-rounded."  We are fortunate to have a high school coach who supports him being involved in other things. However, there is an opportunity cost to everything--there are only so many hours in the day. While he is off doing other things, his teammates--school and summer--are putting in the grind. 

My advice is to enjoy what little time you have watching your kid play. 

For what it is worth...

 

On the opposite side of the coin, those of us who as parents and players are dedicated to baseball, it is our thing, do not understand the well-rounded.  Many people say they want to be get a D1 scholarship but they are not willing to invest everything to get it.  I have had parents tell me for years now that my kids didn't get the opportunity to be a kid since they are devoted to baseball.  My two youngest played all summer for four years during high school to get where they were/are.  They did not hang out with their friends or go to the beach unless there was a tournament there and then baseball came before everything else.  They do not hang out on the weekends because they are usually playing or working out.  I think it takes both in high school to make it work.  My 2019 made Beta Club and Honor Roll but baseball was still first for him.  I know some of you will disagree with that but his goal is to play pro ball or coach pro/college not be an engineer or doctor.  We had a (voluntary) practice last weekend getting ready for playoffs and several  chose not to be there and we could not understand that.  How could you not be at practice the day before playoffs start?  But that is what makes high school, high school.  Someone asked my son what he most looked forward to about going to college and his answer was playing with guys who are all in for baseball.  That is why many of us look so forward to summer ball.  Playing with players and families who are all in.  It takes all kinds in this world but you must understand if you are not "all in" that those families who are don't get you like you don't get them.  My wife and I will not have baseball this summer for the first time in 21 years since 2019 will only play June before starting college and others are long past it.  I reckon I will go watch my friend's kids play or maybe take a vacation that doesn't include baseball, not sure what that is.

 c4dad posted:

Saw this on twitter last week, "If you have a problem with your kid's HS coach, check these boxes before complaining:

  • Does my kid spend 10 hrs/week doing extra work?
  • Does my son pound the weights?
  • Does my son want this as bad as me?
  • Does my son compete in practice?"

 

I have a son who is similar to some of yours-- the dreaded "well-rounded."  We are fortunate to have a high school coach who supports him being involved in other things. However, there is an opportunity cost to everything--there are only so many hours in the day. While he is off doing other things, his teammates--school and summer--are putting in the grind. 

My advice is to enjoy what little time you have watching your kid play. 

For what it is worth...

 

There’s nothing to be dreaded about being well rounded. There are plenty of posters present and past on this board and parents who have never heard of this board with kids who excelled in multiple sports, were top students and became D1 athletes in the sport they chose to make the focus.

Sure, these kids had to make some choices along the way. Some sacrifices had to be made. But it’s part of life. Choices and sacrifices don’t stop when a person decides getting a second degree at night and on weekends while working during the day is beneficial to their career. Choices and sacrifices certainly don’t stop when you have kids. 

When college recruiting started I informed my kids the decision would be 70% academic and 30% athletic. I was not going to allow them to sacrifice academics. After it was all over I asked my kids some questions about the journey. Do you believe I steered you towards baseball/softball? When the answer was yes I asked if they had any regrets. I asked if they made sacrifices and would they do it again. 

They didn’t regret me steering them towards baseball/softball. They played other sports through high school. There were other options for college sports had they chose to focus and pursue them. They recognized they made sacrifices in the summer during high school and college. They said they would do it all over again. 

When each one graduated from college they came home and went to the beach for the summer to hangout and work part time jobs. My son said it best. “I’m going to hang out and drink a few beers. In my more lucid moments I’ll build a job search plan.” I figured my kids had earned this.

“He started once and played 7 innings total. He had the chance several times to show off his arm in RF throwing people out at 2nd and throwing to 3rd to hold the runner. He made two diving/sliding plays. Batting he was almost perfect on being productive 100% QABs, all line drives to the gaps and was quickly gaining on the total number of hits the Senior had that played RF all season long.”

All in seven innings! Wow! And the Army brags they do more by noon than most people do in a day. It appears your son put forth a Herculean, all state effort in seven innings!

For a coach who is a jerk he was more complimentary of your son over seven innings of play than my son’s good coach was over an entire all-everything career.

 

RJM, My son played all of the JV season, in 3 years this was the first year he was allowed to start in the field. He was mostly used as a DH prior to this season and would rarely play the field and even if he was in the lineup and on the field he was without  a doubt always pulled first to sit. He has lead the team in offense every year and even won an mvp. He is a great outfielder, and that is something the coaches did not know until they actually let him play in the field. This year for JV he batted high 400 avg and slg a high 700, last year was about the same and the year before. At summer ball Perfect Game (were he played up two age levels) he lead his team and varsity team mates in stats and he started every game with his varsity team mates. This year at the end of JV he moved up to varsity, my son batted 7 times, and played RF 7 times, he had 4 line drive hits (2 doubles), one line drive out  and 2 walks. The current senior right fielder had 12 total hits for the whole season. My son did great in right field getting 2 of the 3 outs in two innings. He threw a player out who tried for 2nd after hitting the ball down the line and to the side fence. he made one diving catch and one sliding catch, he did make a great throw to 3rd to hold the runner( hard throw on a line). The last time the senior threw to 3rd it went 20 feet high over the fence at 3rd. I am not picking on the senior, he is a good guy, just not a top 12 player in the program.

So RJM, my son made the most of the balls hit to him and pitched to him every inning. I have stated on here for 2 or 3 years now that my son plays hard and gets good results, and if a coach wants to win, why do they choose not to play certain players. I am no fortune teller but as he has went along he has shown year after year that he can play at that level and do it well. We like the compliments from the coaches but how blind do you have to be to make a statement that they didn't know he could hit so well! Playing RF I understand, (sort of) they never let him play the field, but now they think he is great at it.

  

Saw this on twitter last week, "If you have a problem with your kid's HS coach, check these boxes before complaining:

  • Does my kid spend 10 hrs/week doing extra work?
  • Yes he works with me and has lessons, HS practice gets in the way.
  • Does my son pound the weights?
  • Yes he works out everyday at school and has made great gains, the football coach brags on him.
  • Does my son want this as bad as me?
  • We have had the conversation about if he wanted to quit any year. He has stressed to me that he wants to play as high as he can.
  • Does my son compete in practice?" I hope so, I quit going to HS practices the coaches just confuse me. He works very hard a travel ball practice.

His attitude is good, he has manners, he is top 2 in grades on the team and he is the only player that is in STEM. He hustles on and off the field, tries to finish his conditioning first to show how hard he works. 

 

my youngest is similar, he is pretty solid player who works hard and has good attitude...his problem is his team is very good, very deep and he honestly is not as good as some of the kids he is competing with. if he was on some other teams he may have a different role. 

 

just saying but maybe your son isn't as good as you think he might be...

I have been told by other travel dads that my son would have started Varsity as a freshman on their son's HS team, and have asked us to move him. Our HS has good records but fails to finish the season strong when the level of competition increases and this is due to the players on the field and the coaching strategy during the game. My son has proven to be a solid player, whether you see it or the HS coach sees it. I am not saying he is Bryce Harper, I am saying he is better than the average HS player starting at Varsity. He has already been graded by scouts last year as above average and capable of playing at the next level and his consistent stats that the scouts were not even aware of also back them up. He has worked hard to do the little things correct. His swing is successful because it stays in the zone longer than most peoples at this level. He hits line drives to all fields. A scout told him to his face that he had an exceptional swing and that was the same swing he tries to teach his players at the college level. The scout watched him hit 10 pitches and came to that conclusion. My son was in 8th grade that year and the coach was from a top 10 college program. He warms up in a way that impresses others, each throw matters. Dads and other coaches have walked over to me and commented on that. One dad was thankful that his son was my sons throwing partner because he and his son like how serious he is. My son sprints to his position and he is fast so it is obvious that he got there before the others that jog.  He may not be as good as I think, but he is good and when people look and know about baseball they appreciate what he brings to the teams he is on. I taught him to warm up like it matters, I taught him to hustle on the field, I worked on his swing, I worked on his throws from the field, I hit all the fly balls to him so he can dive and slide to catch them, my son has a great work ethic and we work great together. He practices like this on purpose and I don't see any of our HS coaches coaching like this or taking notice of his players who practice like this.  That's why I can't bear to watch practice. I stay away, I don't say anything, I just take it all in and think how will this make my son a better player and me a better coach to my kids and others I coach. I am on here to vent. Maybe that's wrong, maybe I'm that dad. If I could pick something for anyone to learn from this, it might be sometimes coaches just suck,(pick a reason) do the small things right, out work everyone, and the coach might still suck, but if you love the game you know your not doing it for the coach you are doing it for the game. Best of luck to the boys in the playoffs and the ones headed to summer ball.   

JCG posted:

Sounds like your son plays travel ball in the summer and has done PG events. Also sounds like he's a junior? Is he getting attention from colleges? Does he want to play in college and at what level?

High School = school spirit, camaraderie, memories, Friendships and teamwork

Summer Ball = Competition and Expsoure (and some of the  above)

If your goal is to play at the next level you need to get it done over the summer.  Play at the highest level against top national players in front of college and pro scouts. 

Nobody at the next  level cares about how you did during school ball....in my son's experience his high school stats/career never came up while being recruited.

His high school career had ups and downs, but that is the nature of the beast...talent always doesn't play at that level...but it doesn't matter if your goal is next level...if college is the goal......summer matters.

High School ball is a place to learn how to be a part of a team, be the best teammate you can be, hopefully win some games and make some memories and friendships....its not  a place to point fingers and look for scape goats.

Summer Ball will ultimately determine how good a player is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not sure what the problem is, I get not playing when it is clear you are superior to everyone on the field, but he sounds like he will be playing a long time after high school.

As far as coaches sucking, they suck at all levels. My sons college coach has one of the highest winning percentage among active coaches, the staff has been together for 16 years, several trips to Omaha and won 1 national championship and they suck. Well according to some parents anyway. 

This thread is equal parts amusing and annoying.  So much nonsense.  Georgia is a really good baseball state that produces a lot of good players.  But no HS program is so deep that a "player that would start on Varsity as a freshman at other comparable schools" is playing JV as a junior at your school.   JV can be such bad baseball that the stats that go along with it are meaningless. I always get a giggle out of hearing someone try to build a case for a player based on JV stats.   It can be different for pitchers, but as a position player if you aren't a Varsity starter as a sophomore (in most programs) or a junior (in elite programs) your odds of being recruited to play college baseball are slim.  "Better than average Varsity players" are not what colleges are looking for.  They are looking for standouts. A standout player is noticable on every ball field he steps on - whether its HS or travel ball.  In the case of the OP it sounds like one of 2 things : either the HS HC is an idiot or BBDAD98 is delusional.  I guess either one is a possibility.

adbono posted:

This thread is equal parts amusing and annoying.  So much nonsense.  Georgia is a really good baseball state that produces a lot of good players.  But no HS program is so deep that a "player that would start on Varsity as a freshman at other comparable schools" is playing JV as a junior at your school.   JV can be such bad baseball that the stats that go along with it are meaningless. I always get a giggle out of hearing someone try to build a case for a player based on JV stats.   It can be different for pitchers, but as a position player if you aren't a Varsity starter as a sophomore (in most programs) or a junior (in elite programs) your odds of being recruited to play college baseball are slim.  "Better than average Varsity players" are not what colleges are looking for.  They are looking for standouts. A standout player is noticable on every ball field he steps on - whether its HS or travel ball.  In the case of the OP it sounds like one of 2 things : either the HS HC is an idiot or BBDAD98 is delusional.  I guess either one is a possibility.

Bragging on JV stats and an 8th grade swing when the player is a high school junior would be a tip.

Another poster is correct about travel versus high school. The college attention comes from travel. Colleges coaches politely asked how the high school season went. It was nothing but conversation. The only high school stats they were interested in were GPA and SAT scores. The only conversation with high school coaches was about citizenship, leadership and work ethic. High school coaches are around players more day to day than travel coaches. 

Here is an update at the conclusion of my son’s Freshman season. After telling my son he would not get a lot of playing time, the coach lived up to his word. My son was one of 6 players who did not see the field. The coach started his favorite 9/10 players, regardless of their performance. If they struggled, he moved them down in the lineup. No substitutes even in blowouts. When one of the six asked what he needed to do to get more playing time, the coach replied “ you need to get bigger and stronger”. Mind you, this kid is one if not the best glove on the team. Now this is not my kid I am talking about. Limited opportunities in the preseason games, and at most an at bat or a 1/2 inning in the field every week or so for those 6 kids. The team beat most of the bad teams, and lost to the good teams. They are not good hitters and have limited pitching. The coach even benched sophomores in favor of his favorite freshman. The sophomores realized in the first week of practice that the coach has favorites. Apparently it’s no secret that this guy is a bad coach. The kids didn’t learn anything except some baserunning, and didn’t get any better. Glad it’s over and now to look forward to summer ball where my son finally got to play and pitch. Threw a one hitter giving up one run in 4 innings before he was yanked because it was his first game pitching since last year. His batting average so far is around .650.

How did your son throw a one hitter from the bench?  You say he did not see the field and yet you say they saw 1 to 2 innings a week.  That can't be true.  If they saw 1 to 2 innings a week that is  about right for bench players in high school.  We had several that did not see the field but about 10 innings all year on varsity.  He was yanked because it was his first outing in a year.  Didn't he play travel ball?  So his travel ball coach did not pitch him either.  Your posts are confusing.  Not trying to start a fight but trying to give a rational outlook. 

What I see is a poster/parent perfectly willing to talk about other players and throw them under the bus. It’s the worst kind of parent a coach has to deal with. It’s a parent who lacks character. They talk about other players and are willing to tear them down to build up their son. The kids of these kinds are parents grow up hanging around the water cooler at work complaining about their boss and other people’s promotions. It’s because it’s what they were taught.

i looked back to see where this part of the post started. Your son didn’t start on the middle school team. You complained to the coach. Your son doesn’t start as a high school freshman on JV. You’re complaining again. I see a trend. Prepare yourself for the harsh reality. Ready? Your son isn’t very good and you’re the only one who can’t see it. Or, you’re such a PITA coaches don’t want anything to do with you or your son. Chances are all the complaining you’re doing about the coach is getting back to him.

Back when my son played JV as a freshman there was a parent complaining to everyone who didn’t run away her son had the top batting average on JV and the coach was a jerk for only playing him part of the time. The coach knew the kid had no future. The kid only played against the worst pitching so he could feel the the thrill of success before being cut after soph year.

The coach was doing the kid a favor. And the parent ripped the coach for two years. That is until she moved on to ripping the varsity coach for cutting her son with the high JV batting average.

I will add to this that college coaches have egos.  RJM is correct in my experience.  Coaches who contact the high school coach are looking at character issues.  Even in football where there is no travel ball.  Our head coach got an e mail from my son's #1 choice and let him read it.  D1 football and not a single word asking coach about his abilities.  All about character, how he is as a teammate etc.  As I said they have egos and THEY will determine if the kid is able to play at their level.  We have one kid who barely played as a junior (personally I think that was a mistake) who is being recruited and may get a deal.   The college coaches are not afraid to disagree with the high school coaches about a kids ability to play at the next level.  Our coaches don't do much for kids recruitment.  And we have two already committed D1 and four more with D1's seriously following them and several more with D2's on them.  If colleges think you are good enough they won't much care what the high school coach did with you.  Now it doesnt help I grant you.  But if you are a junior with absolutely no communication from college coaches...   I don't want to be mean but that's a pretty strong indication it's over.  In football it's all about twitter.  I would say my son is followed by 70ish programs?   Probably half those followed him when he was a sophomore and the summer before junior year.  Now that junior year is coming to a close new coaches come in here and there.  Pretty much all the schools who are going to be interested have already expressed that interest.  Only way that changes now is if he goes to a camp in June and absolutely wows somebody.  Or is seen by a school a little farther away geographically who decides to take a shot.  But point is the recruiting process is ENDING, not beginning.   I see a lot of disappointed fathers and sons as the clock is winding down and there is seemingly nothing for them.  It's truly sad and hard to deal with.  This is why I don't want to rip on these parents on here.  It's a terrible time for them.  I wish you luck but I also hope you are able to handle the end if that's what this is.  One of the best tips looking back I have gotten here is 'if you have to ask if you're being recruited, you're not'.  They aren't out to hide it when they are really looking at you.   If you don't KNOW any schools are very excited about your son when he is a junior the gig is up.  Give your kid a hug and tell him it was a good run.  Even Willie Mays had to retire.  

I wouldn't get too caught up in his playing time as a freshman.  Many times, coaches have preconceived values of players, there are growth/maturity factors, next up for Varsity, etc.  Freshman year is typically a waste of time, outside of a few either talented, or early maturers.  This all typically shakes out over a 4 year HS career.

Focus on summer, having your son regain his love for the game.  His role should grow with the HS team, if his talent and dedication are there.  It's a journey, some kids don't get meaningful time until their senior years, if they even do at all. 

Maybe also write down the goals for your son.  Is it to be a starter 100% of the time and do his talents match that?  Is there value in just being part of a team and bonding with his HS peers for 4 years?  Do you want him to have the structure and challenges of being a student athlete, regardless of PT?

I know playing time can be frustrating.  I haven't had that with my son's pitching, but he was forced to be a PO as a sophomore.  I used to struggle with him sitting on non-pitching days, as he's a good athlete and can contribute offensively.  But being a pitcher has buttered his bread, he's OK with being a PO, as am I.  I still go to games when he's not pitching and cheer for the team and watch him have a hell of a time in the dugout.  Heck, it's a lot less stressful that way too!

For all parents, who think the  coach is just a jerk, cannot evaluate talent or has an agenda other than winning. Have your kid take up wrestling. Coach has little to do with who wrestles varsity. Your kid better than the Varsity Wrestler at his weight class, Prove it. Challenge the starter to a wrestle off. If you beat him you are varsity. Cannot beat him, move up or down a weight class and beat another guy.

Yeah, I know wrestling is not for everyone. 

KTCOTB posted:

Here is an update at the conclusion of my son’s Freshman season. After telling my son he would not get a lot of playing time, the coach lived up to his word. My son was one of 6 players who did not see the field. The coach started his favorite 9/10 players, regardless of their performance. If they struggled, he moved them down in the lineup. No substitutes even in blowouts. When one of the six asked what he needed to do to get more playing time, the coach replied “ you need to get bigger and stronger”. Mind you, this kid is one if not the best glove on the team. Now this is not my kid I am talking about. Limited opportunities in the preseason games, and at most an at bat or a 1/2 inning in the field every week or so for those 6 kids. The team beat most of the bad teams, and lost to the good teams. They are not good hitters and have limited pitching. The coach even benched sophomores in favor of his favorite freshman. The sophomores realized in the first week of practice that the coach has favorites. Apparently it’s no secret that this guy is a bad coach. The kids didn’t learn anything except some baserunning, and didn’t get any better. Glad it’s over and now to look forward to summer ball where my son finally got to play and pitch. Threw a one hitter giving up one run in 4 innings before he was yanked because it was his first game pitching since last year. His batting average so far is around .650.

So the coach told your son he would not get a lot of playing time, and he didn't. A player asked a coach what he has to do to get better. The coach tells him exactly what he needs to do and the answer was wrong because he has a good glove? The coach then benches players who are not performing for other freshmen and he is wrong for doing that because they're his favorites? 

If you can't find "that parent" in the stands, it's probably you. All signs would point to him not being good enough to play on this team but everybody else is wrong because he is doing well on his 14u travel team. 

Do not confuse HS baseball with rec, it's not equal opportunity. The best play the rest sit. Should he get some work in during blowouts? Of course, but maybe he is worried that your kid hits a double and he'll never hear the end of it. The truth is that you texted the coach about playing time last year (big no no) and he didn't hold it against your kid during tryouts. Now that he's on the team you're complaining again. Something the coach did not want. 

Either your kid is not that good or the coach really regrets taking your son back and is just trying to get thru the season and so he can cut him during tryouts next year. Either way, if your kid was a stand out, he would be standing out. 

It’s very simple. This is JV ball. To confine players so early to the bench due to preconceived notions about their ability is foolish. My son as well as 5 other kids had little to no opportunity to play and prove themselves, even in scrimmage games. He has had the SAME coach since 7th grade who has his mind made up about him. All the kid wants is a chance, and he was denied that. JV is about developing players. The only thing you develop sitting on the bench all year is hemorrhoids. Referring to the one hitter, I was referring to summer ball, which has already begun. 

The goals are simple for next year and have been discussed already. 

1. Work hard refining skills across the board: hitting , pitching , fielding, speed and agility.

2. Stand out to the point where it is painfully obvious that he should be a starter.

He has low self confidence in baseball, and has been beaten down by this coach of 3 years. But he is no quitter. Let’s see what next year brings. 

KTCOTB,

I actually agree with you that JV should be about developing players and should be an environment where players play, at least some, in games.  I also applaud the goals for next year.

That said, I can't buy the statements " had little to no opportunity to play and prove themselves" and "All the kid wants is a chance, and he was denied that."  I'm also not on board with the idea your son is stuck because of preconceived notions.   They practice together every day for months.  Most opportunities are won or lost at practice.  Yes, some players are gamers.  And, you may or may not be right about the coach' current assessment of your son's ability.  But don't underestimate the time spent, the number of reps taken and the clarity that comes from seeing players executing on the field day in and day out.  He is being given an opportunity, a chance, every day. 

Preconceived notions - HS coaches know that player skill sets, physical strength, maturity, etc., will grow during those years, some more than others.  It is inevitable.  Yes, the coach will fall back on what he has learned from observing a particular player up to the present point in time but will certainly expect a level of change.  

Regarding the low self confidence in baseball...  sounds like there is a pattern where he is having success in travel but not yet at this point in HS.  He should just focus his thoughts on his success in travel to assure himself of his ability to play.

Continued best to him!

 

I've said it before, I'll say it again. If your kid is playing Varsity BB as a Freshman, then he is either a massive talent, or you are at a small school playing mediocre BB. Good for you if you are the former(your son should be on the national radar), who cares if you're the latter? Enjoy the season, have some laughs. 

  I only know of one Freshman who MIGHT have played Varsity here about 30 years ago. He was a first round draft pick. Keep in mind that we are a large public in the upper midwest who has a good, but not great program. We would get our asses kicked by the best teams from TX, CA, FLA, GA, etc..

  Only one kid from my son's Freshman group played JV. 6'3" LHP/OF/1B. Can touch low 80's, with a nasty breaking pitch. Great hitter, good glove, and can run. 

  Freshman are still growing, and aren't supposed to be able to compete with kids 4 years older than them. Physically, and mentally, they aren't in the same place. I

 My son started to complain the other day that someone else got a start in the field instead of him. I told him he wasn't hitting, what did he expect? 

 Maybe I'm off base. Do the top teams from the BB states(i.e. CA, GA) have lots of Freshman on their Varsity teams? Don't see how that's possible, if they have a healthy turnout from the higher classes for tryouts. It's normal around here to have 8-10 Seniors, 5-6 Juniors, 1-2 Sophomores on a Varsity team. Freshman don't play Varsity.

Baseball is about opportunities. Make the best of the ones you’ve earned and be a good teammate the other times. I personally wouldn’t want to have my playing time I’ve earned taken from me to let someone who did not earn it get a “chance to develop.” We are quickly moving to a place where you develop outside of your teams. 

It won’t help your son IMO to continue to think poorly of his coach. If you do, I suggest you are quiet about it. 

Been there done that. My senior lead the district in hits and Batting average. Is currently still #2 on the team in batting average and top 7 in district. Been sitting the bench since the second half of the season only to pinch hit at times. By missing those 6 games he is currently tied 5th in hits. Has 40 less at bats or so. Batting average hasn’t been under .360 until late (358). Only 3 players are above .300. The fielder he was replaced with is maybe the same skill defense but not near the hitter. Oh and btw pitched in 6 preseason games to not give up a hit. Had a rough 2 innings last game pitched with a few walks and hasn’t pitched since. But it’s ok. He has been recruited to play juco college ball

atlnon posted:

Read this fictional short story in social media and it reminded me of this thread (at I think it's fictional)...

https://www.jerradhardin.com/r...iZWBr186hw3w0dcdh970

The real story has a few more lines. The dad returns to steaming by the time he gets back to his car and slams the door. He calls his wife. He reminds her the coach is clueless and now the principal is protecting her. He goes to the next game and rips both of them a new backside to anyone who will listen (typically the parents of other bench players). If his daughter ever starts varsity over four years she’s an ordinary player. Dad rips the coach to anyone who will listen the coach didn’t support her for all conference. 

The story may be fictional. But it plays out all over the country every year.

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